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A Random Event by beetle_shell
Chapter 5 : A Clown and Dung Bombs
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 13

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Hey everyone!

I’m sorry for the delay in updating, I was just trying to find inspiration! And a good way to include a joke!

Once again, I am afraid to say this chapter lacks much randomness. BUT I PROMISE TO ADD MORE IN, once the characters get into their secured positions, it will become much more random! PROMISE!

Your dedicated friend, writer and lover of colin and hugh


Sirius was looking at Evelyn blankly for the rest of the lesson. He was amazed that she, Evvy, the prettiest girl at the school, who had only known him for a portion of one lesson, had kissed him. HIM!

James was avoiding all eye contact with Lily, although that was hard, seeing as 2 minutes after he had decided he would do this, he was looking at her again, admiring her from afar.

Remus, was concentrating, as was Peter, on every word that McGonagall said. They both had equally long rolls of parchment full with notes, and were still writing.

Colin and Shell on the other hand had been talking. But not about transfiguration, oh no, not at all, they were talking about pranks of all things. Whenever professor McGonagall looked at them, she gave a disapproving glare, although neither of the two sixth years noticed when she did.

“Okay class, I would like you to all write a foot long essay on the transformation of humans and why it is such a dangerous thing to do if you have no experience.” McGonagall said with a certain finishing tone in her voice.

Shell and Colin looked at eachother and both let out an exasperated sigh, loud enough for everyone in the classroom to hear, including the professor. They looked over at Evvy who shot them a dirty look.

“Colin, Shell. Do you have something to say about the homework I just assigned, the whole class” Professor McGonagall said, with a sound of fed upness in her voice.

“Ah, Yes Professor, actually I do.” Shell said with a sweet, innocent smile on her face. Which made her look, somewhat angelic. “I was hoping you wouldn’t assign me, Colin, or Evvy any homework, due to our ‘situation’”. Shell said this so believingly it looked like her parents had died and she was mourning. The room was silent waiting to hear McGonagall’s reply.

“Ah, Shell, I am not sure if you are aware, but what teachers are meant to do is teach you how to learn” McGonagall seemed to have a bit of resentment in her voice as she said this, because Shell had managed to make her eyes go glossy so she looked as though she was about to cry.

“But Professor.” Shell said in a sort of whiney tone “I know all of this already.”

“Then it wouldn’t matter if you did a bit of homework young lady”

Shells face changed from the innocent look it had before to a devilish grin. “Okay, whatever you say, Professor” Shell spat at her constants, putting emphasis on the word professor.

This seemed to unnerve McGonagall as she looked at Shell carefully. “Alright, you are all excused from homework for today, tomorrow you may not be as lucky.” The classroom all gasped, and gaped at Shell who was sauntering back into her seat, to receive a kiss from Colin. Evelyn shot them a look, between exasperation and congratulations.

Sirius and James were looking at Shell as if she were a god, and Colin a vice-god. While Remus and Peter were giving Shell the thumbs up, but were pretty pissed off that they had written all their notes for nothing.

As the 4 marauders, Evvy, Shell and Colin were walking out of the classroom, Shell got stopped to receive many congratulations, gasps and thanks for her homework bust.

“Wow, how did you do that?” James asked, in awe of Shell.

“Well, you don’t know me like the professors do.” Shell gave Colin a knowing wink.

“That was some pretty awesome work in there ya know.” Sirius said, while holding onto Evelyns arm in a carefree sort of way. “You really should think about doing some pranks around here. I’m sure your good, but probably not as good as us.”

Shell, Colin and Evvy cracked up laughing at this statement. “Look Sirius, I have my own ward at St. Mungo’s in the future!”

“Well I have the record for the most detentions”

“I believe I have that privilege now” This little argument was going to amount to something big, Evvy could feel it in her bones. “73 in a month and was still counting before I left.”

“But wait, there is only 31 days in a month. Max! There is no way you could have that many detentions” Remus said, unwilling to believe, this girl, their inferior, could have more detentions then Sirius.

“Oh no you see Moony, there are many times for detention as I have found out. There is morning, breakfast, lunch, dinner, afternoon, free time, class breaks and night time.” Shell seemed to be ticking each one off on her fingers. “And then there is also during class, which has happened many times, especially during potions.”

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus stared at her with their mouths hanging open.

“Well I still think you couldn’t get out of another detention with Filch. He’s not that easy going.” James said, trying to make this girl seem as if she was telling a whole lot of fibs.

“Oh, we can see about that in 5, 4, 3, 2 ..” Shell was looking at Colin’s watch while she was counting down. “1…….”

There was a scream, followed by a lot of cursing and shouts. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS YOU WILL! THOSE BOYS!”

Suddenly Filch came storming down the stairs with a knife in his hands. “Okay, which one of you little brats did this to me?!” He asked, trying to hold in his anger.

“Oh I did” Shell said stepping out of her friends. The marauders looked at her as if she was crazy, was she trying to purposely loose this bet? “Filchie!” Shell added on the end.

Filch had steam coming out of his ears. “I am terribly sorry for the shouting boys.” Filch looked at them as if asking them for help.

“Don’t look at them Filchie old pal!” Shell said patting him on the back.

Shell nodded at Colin, who waved his wand. In front of the marauders, Evvy, Shell, Colin and Filch, stood a small, round, wooden table and two chairs. There was a pack of cards on the table. Shell took a seat and beckoned Filch to follow. Which to the Marauders astonishment he did. Evvy let out an exasperated sigh, looked at Sirius, who looked at her and they started to snog.

“So Filchie, brought your money today I assume?” Shell said, no fear in her voice what so ever.

“Um….well you see, last time you cleared me out, so I only gots what I earned since then” Filch had gotten extremely nervous.

“Oh, I guess that will do.” Shell seemed a little pulled back now. The marauders were looking forward to a clean game of Pocker. That’s what they knew…….

Shell picked up the cards and shuffled them. She delt 5 to Filch and 5 to herself. Filch picked them up, never letting his eyes leave Shells.

“So Filchie” Shell said with a casual voice. “Whatcha got?”

“I got, Rhubarb, Tounge, Plastic, Dog Poo and Salsa.” The marauders looked at eachother and shrugged.

“HA! You call that a hand? I got a hand! Strawberry, Chocolate, Peach, Rabbit and Potato!” Shell said this, almost laughing herself silly. Colin was on the floor clutching his sides.

Suddenly in front of Filch appeared a packet of Dungbombs, and A clown. At seeing the clown he clutched onto his chair and was about to get up and leave.

“Going somewhere Filchie?” Shell asked in a sickly sweet voice. “I don’t think so! Remember our deal?”

Filch nodded shifting in his seat, trying to avoid the fate that awaited him.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you Filchie and if you don’t live up to your promises, you will pay!”

With that, Shell and Colin both got up, disappeared the table and left Filch to do what they had bargained for.

“So……uh…..what did you make him do exactly?” Asked Sirius cautiously, who had stopped kissing Evelyn when she had burst into laughter and gone to join her friends.

“Yes” A new voice had come from behind them. It was a lady, no doubt about that. She was standing in the shadows so no one could see her, although Shell, Evvy and Colin all seemed to know exactly who it was. “Please tell us, What did you have in stall for Filch Shell?”

“Uh, you saw all that?” She said, a little reluctantly.

“Every single bit. From you ‘saving’ of homework in transfiguration, to your battle with Filch.”

“What are you doing here anyway?” Shell said changing the topic totally.

“Don’t you change the topic with me Shell” The voice said, getting a bit agitated and picky.

Shell poked her tounge out at the figure, turned around with Colin and Evvy. As they turned and walked away, the Marauders took another glance to where the figure had been standing, but there was no one there. They shrugged at eachother and took off after their 3 new friends.

The new group of friends, who had decided to keep the name of the Marauders, but just add Shell, Colin and Evvy into their group. Much to the disappointment of Peter, who thought they might kick him out. When he suggested this, Sirius and James decided to race on giant flamingos. Peter didn’t get one, so decided to become a rat to race as well, but got stuck in a crack on the floor. The marauders didn’t realize Peter had transformed into his anamagus form. So they all left him there to get trampled on.

They were all sitting at the Gryffindor table, waiting for lunch. They were all starving, especially seeing as they had just had a demanding lesson of DADA. Sirius, James, Colin and Shell had come in and straight away piled as much food as possible on their plates and stuffed their faces. Remus and Evvy thought this was very disgusting, although Evvy was too busy watching Sirius eat to have a reasnoble conversation with Remus. She preffered to talk about Pie’s with Sirius.

Suddenly, a first year, who none of them had ever seen before, came up to Shell and whispered in her ear, something that the rest of the Marauders couldn’t hear. Shell paled at this news, but shot a look in the direction of the doors. She looked at Colin, and continued eating her Jelly Bean Snot Pie.

As they were all eating and snogging and talking, much to the disappointment of Remus, who wanted a serious conversation. Something not including anything giantly out of proportion. The doors of the great hall opened and the whole room gasped. Shell and Colin fell on the floor with laughter. The other students didn’t know what to think.

In the doors was a grumpy looking Filch. Who was dressed in a clown costume. With big baggy green pants, which were way to big. A bright white shirt, with different coloured pom poms coming from it. Humungous Yellow shoes, a pink wig, and to top it all off a red nose. He was also carrying a big bag of dung bombs.

The marauders looked at Shell and Colin, who would try and compose themselves, but then look at Filch and crack into hysterics again.

Filch started walking around, handing out small packets of dung bombs, much to the delight of other students. Although Filch was grumbling the whole way along. He seemed to have an endless bag of dung bombs and insults.

Finally Filch reached the Marauders and gave Shell and Colin a look that would kill. Remus, James, and Sirius, were positive they would pay for it later. Although at the moment they had to admit, it was an excellent joke. Filch gave them the rest of the bag of dung bombs – which was quite a lot – and raced out of the hall, loosing his wig and nose on the way out.

“Shell you shouldn’t of done that.” Evvy said, giving her friend a glare.

“Oh, c’mon Evvy, It was all in fun and games. It’s not as if I am going to pay for it or anything. The teachers will only give me detention at most. I mean, most of them enjoyed it.” Shell said to Evvy in a smart arse voice.

Suddenly Evvy, James, Sirius, Remus and Colin’s faces all paled. Shell was enjoying herself to much to realize. When she did, she looked at Colin with a questioning look, and he just gaped at the door. Shell was too scared what awaited her at the door.

“SHELL!” The voice bellowed. There was grey smoke surrounding the figure, and a green light. Anything in a 10 meter radius of her, had shot up, levitating in the air. “You should know better then to ignore me!”

The whole great hall was as if they were all cowering in fear. But Shell seemed pretty pleased with herself. And a little to confident according to what was going through everybody elses minds.

“Why hello there.” Shell said getting up and slowly walking her way up to the figure. “What a nice surprise to see you here! You know you really should know better then to travel back in time” Shell said this as if she were mocking the powerful witch standing in front of her.

“Oh, so you are little miss brave now?” The voice seemed to have calmed down, and the tables had stopped levitating and came to the ground with a bang.

“No, not me, never” Shell said with a very hard to believe innocent look on her face. “But you gotta admit, that was classic!” Shell said with conquer in her voice.

At this the figure laughed. “Yes, very good prank darls! Excellent!”

Shell ran up to the figure, and embraced her in a big hug. Colin, finally knowing who it was, also got up with Evvy and ran to join the embrace.

“Oh what are you doing here?” Evvy asked, excitedly.

“What do you think Evvy?” The witch asked? “To get you all and take you back.”

At this news Shell looked a bit crestfallen. She had been having such a great time in the past and didn’t want to go back to the future. “Must we go back?”

“Shell, you know that you shouldn’t of come here!”

“But, it’s just, its so fun! Couldn’t you just let us stay a little longer? I mean, it is only lunchtime! Even if its just til the end of the day?!” Shell asked, whining.

“Oh alright. I will let you stay till the end of the day! ONLY the end of the day though!” The witch sounded as if she were giving in to the inevidable.

Shell and Colin, excitedly led their friend back to the table. As she came into the light of the hall, there was excited chatter. She sat down with Shell and Colin, been given little bits of babble and been shown a lot of stuff around the room. Remus was looking at the girl with his mouth open.

The girl, no young woman was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her hair was shoulder length, and was hanging around her head, her fringe was beautifully framing her face as her rusty blonde colour was appealing to anyones eye. She also had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were a wonderful shade of icy blue, which looked as if they had so much death.

“Remus, this is my friend!” Shell added excitedly.

“Hello, My name is Ursula, but please call me Urshie” The witches voice was music to his ears. He thought she must be an angel on earth.


Another chapter gone and finished! Not as random, but I hope it will become more random once the characters are settled. What will happen with Sirius and Evvy? Are Colin and Shell really going to pay for Filch’s embarrassment? Filch a clown? What will Remus do to get Urshie’s attention?

Only way to find out is to tune into the next chapter! – It will be out soon enough!

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