Chapter 1 : Guarded Heart
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Chapter 1-Guarded Heart
Lily Evans looks painfully out of the windows of the Hogwarts castle. She would miss the walls, the people, the magic about the school. She was packing her bag, neatly of course, and preparing to head home for the summer. The attachments she felt to such a place could not be described. Hogwarts was her home. It was her one true security that differed herself from her family. It kept her sane.
She had always known she was different from her family. Her bright auburn hair cast her aside from her blonde mother and sister. Her mother always said she had been given her father’s hair. If only he had lived to see her grow. Her emerald eyes cast a certain mystery about them; withholding all the feelings she kept tucked away.
She glanced at her Muggle wristwatch and saw the time. She only had a few short hours to spend at Hogwarts. She knew that she had to give Ethan the news before his expectations became too high.
Ethan was her boyfriend of three months. She had known he wouldn’t last; no one ever did. Lily found it too painful to cling to a person and become so vulnerable. It only led to heartbreak. She didn’t believe in true, undying love. It wasn’t real. She hadn’t seen anything come close to it since the days of her father and mother’s marriage. Even then, things had not worked out for the best.
Lily finished folding her robes and set them quaintly into her suitcase. She glanced over at the other beds, seeing that no one else had packed. Her friend, Erin Parker, had left her bed a mess; nothing new to that. Erin and her other two friends had always been there for her. Lily knew she could rely on them always. They were so unlike the male species. Her friends wouldn’t back out on her, leaving her crying to herself at night. No, they would be comforting her.
She forced a smile and walked down the stone steps leading into the Gryffindor Common Room. She saw the fire blazing even though the summer heat was rising outside. The room was empty, as most everyone was down for the feast in the Great Hall. Soon, Lily would be catching the train home, losing another year at her beloved school. The next year would be her last year, her only year to decide where she would go in life.
She knew wherever she was going, Ethan would not be tagging along. She had to give him the talk before things became to serious; too sentimental. She sighed once more, knowing her friends would send their disapproving looks her way.
Lily entered the Great Hall and glanced around for Ethan. Ethan had been made Ravenclaw Prefect; this was how Lily had met him. She had been on patrol with Remus Lupin when they had come across Ethan and Marcel. As it always did, nature took it’s course from there. Lily nodded at her friends in recognition and walked over to the Ravenclaw table. She saw Ethan grin as she sat beside him. His arms slipped around her shoulder and it felt awkward.
They never knew it was coming, none of them. They always expected to be the ones Lily would spend eternity with. As far as Lily was concerned, that man may not exist, let alone be at Hogwarts.
“Excited about the train ride home?” Ethan asked. “I can’t wait to meet your mum and sister.”
Lily glanced to the floor nervously. Ethan was a nice guy. It was always hard when they were nice. He just wasn’t what she was looking for.
“Listen, Ethan,” Lily began. She turned to face him, preparing herself for the speech. Her friends knew the speech well. “We need to talk.”
Ethan knew what was coming when she had recited the dreadful words “We need to talk.” His face grew somewhat pale but he acted as though she was merely starting another conversation.
“About what?” he asked, trying to act oblivious to the hard inescapable truth.
“I don’t think we’re going to work out,” Lily said. “I just don’t feel as though we have a true connection. You’re a great guy, any girl would feel lucky to be with you. I am just sorting through some problems right now. I don’t know if the timing is right for me to have a boyfriend.”
They always reacted differently. She expected that Ethan would take it bad; he had always been a sensitive guy.
“Well, truth be told, I think you’re right,” Ethan said. “I think it’s better if we’re just friends.”
He held out his hand for her to shake. She had been wrong, he was one of those guys. The type of guy who didn’t feel as much rejection if they remained friends. She had cast him as the wrong guy. Mistakes happen.
“Friends,” Lily said, trying to sound sincere. She shook his hand knowing that friendship was not in the plans. He would find someone else and be quite happy with her. It was the way things worked.
“Have a nice summer,” Lily called, walking over to her friends at the Gryffindor table.
Erin Parker looked up at her, casting her magnetic eyes at Lily. Erin had always had classic beauty. She had long, pale blonde hair and celery colored eyes. She had a fair complexion and was as petite as they came. Her attitude was far from petite. She was known to be sweet as they come yet was also known for her fierce temper. That may have been why she and Lily had connected so well. They had been friends since first year on the boat ride to the castle. It was a friendship that was made to last.
“You gave him the talk, didn’t you?” she asked Lily. Lily nodded, knowing her friend was disappointed.
“When are you ever going to give anyone a chance, Lil?” Erin asked. “Ethan was a great guy. He didn’t deserve that.”
“How’d he take it?” Lily’s other friend, Ruby Wallace asked. Ruby had shimmering black hair that fell to her shoulders and sparkling blue eyes that captivated all. She had ruby red lips, fair skin, and was quite tall compared to Lily and Erin. Ruby was insecure, but tried to hide it well. Only Lily and her friends knew of Ruby’s hidden insecurities. She saw herself differently than all her friends.
“He took it surprisingly well,” Lily offered.
“What type was he?” Leah Graham asked. “Was he the masculine figure in deep denial or was he the crying mama’s boy who didn’t want you to go?”
Leah had men figured out as well. She was the one least disapproving of Lily’s behavior as she didn’t trust them either. Leah was a half-blood orphan who lived with her two pureblood foster parents. Leah had grown to distrust men as her father had been a Death Eater. He had her mother killed and was then killed by Voldemort for trying to escape his grasps. Leah had a reason to look at men the way she did. She was a beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair and amber eyes that shone. She was a bold, surprising girl that told things like they were. She always said what was on her mind and never failed to provide brutal honesty. Her and Erin really hit if off.
“He wanted to be friend,” Lily said, shrugging. “Whatever that means.”
“You’re not going to be his friend?” Vita Robins asked. Vita was a small, quiet girl who kept the others in balance. She was often referred to as the peacemaker as well as the mediator. Vita kept a lot of things to herself but never failed to stand up for her friends. She had short brown hair which she kept in a accentuated her features. She had pale gray eyes and a desire for acceptance. She no longer felt the need for that acceptance as she was with her friends.
“No, Vita, I’m not. It’s not in the plans,” Lily said. She was looking at the treacle pudding but decided against it.
“Nothing’s ever in your plans,” said Leah, who was looking at this weeks’ Witch Weekly.
“You’re one to talk,” Lily sighed. “How’s what’s his name again? Oh yes, Brandon.”
“Brandon happens to not be my type,” Leah insisted. “You on the other hand haven’t even found a type. You’re sixteen years old Lily. When are you going to have a steady boyfriend?”
“She doesn’t want to risk getting her heart broken,” Ruby reminded. “Can you really blame her?”
“No,” Erin said, quietly. They all knew she was one apt to being torn up about heartbreak. Recently, Erin had dated Sirius Black and had foolishly fallen under his charm. She of course, had landed with a crash. Their relationship lasted only two months before he had dropped her for the next pretty face.
“Don’t think about him,” Lily advised. “He’s not worth it.”
“Well than, who is worth it?” grumbled Erin. “There is no one I can find that I can relate to. No one. It’s horrible. I’m starting to think it’s me.”
“I could kill Sirius Black for doing this to you,” Leah growled. “All of those Marauders don’t know who they’re hurting. It’s a wonder no one’s ever hurt them. They seem to all have Lily’s philosophy.”
Oh, but what they didn’t know was that someone had managed to hurt a Marauder.
“Another year gone and another year wasted without Lily,” James Potter reflected. He laid upon his bed and looked upon the top of the bed. He had scribbled Lily’s name more times than he could count on there. Every night before falling asleep he added another and just gazed at it. The name haunted him. Lily Evans.
“Prongs, mate, you’re looking rather hopeless right now,” Sirius commented. “We’re going home for the summer and you’re depressed about Lily Evans. Things really don’t change.”
“Oh, but next year, they will,” James proclaimed.
“Next year is the year when Lily will finally realize she is madly in love with you,” the three other Marauders recited all whilst packing for home. James’s clothes laid abandoned on the floor.
“You really should start packing, Prongs,” Remus observed. “We leave in an hour.”
“There has to be a way to get under her skin and bring out the real Lily,” James muttered.
“The real Lily?” Peter asked. “What do you mean? She looked pretty solid to me.”
“The one who has compassion and warmth,” James uttered, getting an odd look on his face. Sirius slapped Peter on the head for starting this once more. They wouldn’t be able to get James to shut up.
Sirius had to spend the summer with James, listening about Lily Evans. It got rather tiring really.
“She’s amazing,” James voiced.
Getting tired of looking at the wrinkled garments on the floor, Remus swished his wand and packed James’s suitcase himself.. At this rate, he would have never gotten it done alone.
“Next year is the year, my boys,” James proclaimed. “She’ll never know what hit her.”
“I’d say you have a lot of growing up to do before that point,” Remus mumbled.
“Lily,” James whispered, loving the sound of it on his tongue.
“We have plans for you, my dear Lily,” Erin said, as they exited the Hogwarts Express. They were now at Platform 9 ¾ in Magnolia Crescent, awaiting the arrival of their parents.
“What plans?” Lily asked, bewildered.
“We have plans to reform you, of course,” Leah proposed. She giggled as she saw Lily’s doubtful look.
“We mean it, Lils,” Ruby inquired. “Next year, you’re not going to give anyone the speech.”
“You guys can’t promise a thing like that,” Lily reminded them.
“Oh, but we find very persuasive ways of promising such a thing,” Vita assured, holding up her wand. The girls giggled once more.
“Oh, I’m going to miss you guys,” Lily choked, smiling as she gave her best friends hugs.
“I think I see my mum,” she said.
Lily headed off, growing even farther away from the place she loved as she prepared herself to enter the Muggle world once more. She was walking away from her talents, her friends, and her life as she did every summer. Every summer she wondered as well, was there really that one special guy waiting for her somewhere. She highly doubted it. Even if her perfect man approached her, she highly suspected she would push him away before she could uncover the truth. She figured she would just remain lonely forever, away from the terrible truth in heartbreak.
She often relied on the quote from her favorite movie to help her through times like these. “Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable.”
“Next year, she’ll know,” James said, seeing Lily approach her mum and what appeared to be her sister.
Her red hair set her apart from the rest. He loved every aspect of her. He didn’t know how something so perfect could have been made. He often felt like it had been made for him to get along in the world. Lily was his true comfort about Hogwarts. It was part of the reason he felt the need to actually attend.
“Come on loverboy, your mum’s over there,” Sirius said, dragging him away from his daydreams. “I want to go say hi.”
As Sirius dragged him towards his mum, James kept his eyes locked on her and blushed as he saw her penetrating emerald eyes meet his.
He felt as though she could read his thoughts. He could also tell that his name danced across her mind just as hers did with his.
He had big plans for next year, he was going to win her guarded heart for once and for all.
A/N: Just something I’ve been brainstorming. Got the idea from a book I read. Please review if you wish for me to continue.
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