So there’s another Prefect Meeting tonight. The carnival is really coming along. I wish that I knew what was going on around here. Potter hasn’t even pretended to be interested in me for forever. Under any other circumstances, I would be glad, but not now. I am suddenly attracted to him in this odd twisted way. Maybe it’s because he’s stopped trying so hard; I really don’t know. I half expect him to seize me and start making out with me and I half expect him to be sweet and caring before he does anything like that. GOD, WHAT IS WRONG HERE?
October 2, 1977
The Head’s Common Room
So Potter and I are officially friends now. He’s smart and funny and seems to really enjoy spending time with any of his friends. Rory is going out with Sirius and Crystal is going out with Remus. So if Potter (do I call him James?) ever decides to ask me out again (it will be the 98th time, a school record) the six of us could go on triple dates sometimes. Well I think Sirius told him to be friends with me, gain my trust or something. Funny, I feel very impatient now. Like there’s some secret I have to know about him. Why James never gave up on me. I guess I’ll find out.
October 3, 1977
All of my fellow Marauders (except Peter, but he’s been hanging with the Slytherins for some reason) have girlfriends. Sirius and Remus are going out with Lily’s best friends. Rory and Sirius and then there’s Crystal and Remus. We are planning something good for our first Hogsmeade visit. Oh yeah. I forgot to say that the six of us are going together. I’ve always wanted to go to Hogsmeade with Lily. OK, so we’re not going together officially, but still. I am victorious all the same. (A/N I’ve been wanting to write the word victorious in a fic for a while but it hasn’t fit LOL) So the first visit is the weekend of the 19. Remus won’t be able to go to the carnival. I just realized that. It’s on Halloween and Halloween is always a full moon. But he never complains, which is so cool of him. I think a lesser person than he would be complaining all over the place to those who knew. I don’t know if I could handle it, myself. I’m still wondering if he’s going to tell Crystal soon. Then again, he’s only been going out with her for like one day. Anyway, enough about them. Let them keep their own journals. So I’m thinking about ditching my master plan. I think that secretly Lily has always enjoyed the attention. I thought she seemed a little snappish (A/N yes, that’s a word) with me. I’ve been pretending to not be interested in her anymore. Just my luck, she gets interested in me AFTER I pretend that I’m not interested in her. Life is so confusing. Now if I’m late for patrol duty one more time Lily’s really going to kill me.
October 3, 1977
The Astronomy Tower
(A/N This is right after James leaves the lake)
James was getting worried. He hadn’t seen Lily anywhere for twenty minutes. She was nowhere near any of their patrolling routes. Lily was also not in the West Tower or the library. Knowing she liked to look at the stars, he tried the Astronomy Tower. What could have kept Lily from her Had Girl duties? He hoped she was OK.
Heaving an enormous sigh of relief, James ran into the Astronomy Tower. Lily was lying asleep on the floor.
“You had me worried there, Lily,” he said, more to himself than to Lily as she was asleep. She stirred just a little bit. James squatted down next to her.
“Lily, wake up,” he said softly.
It seemed to do the trick. She sat up and stretched.
“What am I doing here?” she asked.
“I don’t know, I’m just glad you’re OK,” James answered.
Lily was quiet for a moment. James was afraid he had done something wrong. Maybe he had upset her by waking her up. Then finally she spoke.
“I like the stars. My father used to tell me that truly amazing people have one star just for themselves. I was trying to find the one he said was mine,” Lily said.
“That’s a nice thing for a dad to say,” James mused quietly. “But what do you mean, used to?”
“My dad died when I was twelve,” Lily said.
“Oh. I’m truly sorry, Lily,” James murmured.
Lily sniffed. “It’s OK, James. It’s not your fault.” She looked at her watch. “We’d better go get patrolling.”
James was quiet for the whole patrolling hour. No one should have to go through more than half of their life without their mum or dad. Lily sensed he was deep in thought and was quiet as well. Maybe she shouldn’t have told James about her father. The patrol was quite boring. No one was about to sneak out when they knew Lily would be on duty.
She smiled. She couldn’t help it.
October 5, 1977
I know it’s been a couple of days since I last wrote. I really meant to get to it, but I couldn’t. The other night in the Astronomy Tower, Lily told me something very sad. She said her father died when she was twelve. I feel so sorry for her. I think she knows that, but I don’t think that’s why she told me. Lily is a strong person. She doesn’t like pity. But we’re definitely friends. Enemies would hardly go around telling people about their dead fathers. I think she said that we were friends the other day, but I can’t be sure. But I am now. I’m still not sure about where I stand with her. I know that I want to think of her as more as a friend, but I dunno if she thinks that about me. Friends first. I’ve always thought that boys and girl who were friends before they went out made good couples. More trust in the relationship. OK, I’ve just gotta be strong and believe that everything will be alright.
October 6, 1977
The Great Hall
I had a chance to be on top of the world. But I blew it. I’m such an idiot.
October 7, 1977
The Great Hall
I’m still an idiot. That is all that is worth remarking on at the moment. (And it’s not even a good thing to remark about)
October 7, 1977
OK, by now you are probably wondering what the hell I did that makes me such a gigantic moron. Lily told me she just wanted to be friends. Girls like Lily aren’t going to wait around for guys to make their move. Actually, I have attempted to make my move 97 times before. Just when I thought things with Lily were going OK, karma came around and threw it in my face.
October 7, 1977
I have done the right thing. At least I think I have. I told James that I just wanted to be friends. It’s probably best for everyone involved. I’m going to be OK. I think James feels he needs to protect me, and friends can do that. I think it was speeding up too fast for me to handle. I’m just waiting to know that he would do anything for me. And while I’m waiting to find out if he would do anything for me, I need to figure out if I would do anything for him. So I think I made the right choice. But if I DID make the right choice, then why do I feel so bad?
October 9, 1977
Don’t worry; I’m not missing anything. We had a little quiz (for the first time ever) and Professor McGonagall said I wrote all the spells right on the parchment. I even demonstrated to her in the hall and she said I could have the rest of the lesson to do whatever I wanted. James looks so cute, all bent over his parchment. Damn, I HATE karma.
October 12, 1977
The Head’s Common Room
Lily was curled up on the couch in the common room she shared with James. She was reading one of her Muggle books. The door opened and James entered.
“Hello, Lily,” he said.
“James,” Lily said distantly.
He noticed that she looked teary-eyed.
“Everything OK?” James asked, really trying to be a good friend and sound concerned. (Which he was of course)
“Yeah,” she lied.
“Alright then. I’m going to draw up some more plans for the carnival.”
“Knock yourself out,” Lily said.
Why was she suddenly being sarcastic again? (A/N I guess you’ll have to keep reading, won’t you)
October 13, 1977
I feel horrible. Absolutely horrible. I was being very mean to James yesterday. He is really working hard on the carnival and what do I do? I throw it in his face. He came into the Common Room yesterday and was all concerned because I was about to cry. I lied and told him I was OK. That’s not so bad, but it gets worse in my eyes. He said he was going to work on the carnival plans and I was all, “Knock yourself out.” I hurt his feelings for no reason at all. It’s not James’s fault that I discovered something about my dad in the letter Mum sent me a week ago. I don’t think I even wrote about it. My dad had another child. It wasn’t by Mum, either. It was by his secretary Cheryl. He fathered another child! He cheated on my mother! The child (his ILLEGITIMATE child) is a girl and her name is Cassidy. Her last name is Evans, too. I know it’s not Cassidy’s fault that my father decided to cheat on his wife and get his secretary pregnant. So now that Cheryl is sick, I guess that my mum is going to have to take care of Cassidy. I know where my dad got the name Cassidy, too. When I was seven, I had a doll that I called Cassidy. He had an illegitimate child that he named after his legitimate daughter’s doll! I think that’s twisted. I’m seven years older than Cassidy, so she’s ten. That’s why I told James that I wanted to be friends. I guess I have this fear that we’ll get married and then he’ll want to cheat on me. It makes no sense. And what’s even worse (for James) is that he thinks it something that he did. I wish I could just tell him but I can’t. I can’t stand to see him (James) like this and I always remember that it’s my fault. I cause him pain and I don’t even have the heart to tell him why. I am scum.
October 14, 1977
The Astronomy Tower
Today I was sent another letter from Mum. Cheryl has died. My no-morals, no-loyalty father and his sluttish secretary had a kid that my mum has to raise. My mum says it’s OK though. Funny, I haven’t heard ANYTHING from my mum about what Petunia thinks of all this. I haven’t told anyone, not even Rory and Crystal. They’ve been my best friends since the first train ride to Hogwarts. Life is cruel and underhanded. That is all I have to say.
October 15, 1977
The Room of Requirement
Again, everyone in my life must feel some need to bug me, so here I am again. I must say, it is a major improvement. I found something of high value to James and his friends on the table in the Common Room. It’s their precious map. It is quite a bit of work, I must say. It’s one of the most complex pieces of magic I’ve ever seen. Everyone in the castle is labeled. Interesting, very interesting. I wonder how long it took to make. What is more suspicious to me is why they would need a map of Hogwarts anyway. Messer’s Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. I intend to ask them about it. Sneaky, those ones.
October 16, 1977
Something terrible happened to me yesterday. I was walking along in the hall when Sirius Black stopped me and took me aside.
“OK, Lils, something is wrong and James thinks it’s his fault. I doubt that it is his fault, though.” Sirius said.
“It’s NOT his fault. I never hinted as much,” I said, trying to make it seem like I didn’t care.
Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Rory and Crystal are worried about you, too. So are Remus and Peter and I. Please tell me what’s going on,” he pleaded.
“I found out something about my dad,” I said shakily.
“My guess is that it’s not good.”
“He had another kid. He cheated on my mum.” I replied.
Sirius wrapped me in a hug. “So you thought James was going to do the same,” he said gently.
“Pretty dumb, huh?” I gave him a watery smile.
“No. It makes perfect sense. You think you know someone and then you find a terrible secret about him or her. Your poor mum.”
I thanked him and walked away. Then the terrible thing happened. James and Rory apparently saw Sirius give me a hug. All of the Marauders did.
James went after Sirius and knocked him to the ground.
“HOW could you? After all these years, I thought you and I were friends. What about Rory?” James demanded.
“No. I’m not your friend anymore.” James said angrily and walked away.
In the mean time, Rory had gone chasing after me.
“Lils, WHAT happened?” Rory asked.
“I got a letter from my mum saying my dad fathered another child before he died. I told James I only wanted to be friends, fearing he would do the same thing to me that my dad did to my mum.” I said feebly.
“Uh, OK.” Rory said, the anger leaving her voice.
“And just now Sirius took me aside and asked what was going on and I told him and you saw the rest. It was purely innocent.” I finished.
Rory gave me a hug. “If you don’t mind me saying, your dad sounds like a creep.”
“I guess he was,” I said sadly.
*~~*End of Flashback*~~*
So now James hates both Sirius and me. I can see how it would be suspicious from his point of view. His best friend and almost-girlfriend hugging. It makes it seem like we were sneaking around behind his back. I would NEVER do that to James or Rory. Crystal and Remus and Peter seem to think James overreacted. He did. Rory is stuck in the middle, with both Sirius and myself protesting we did nothing wrong. Today James didn’t talk to anyone from the group. He sat with his fan club. It’s up to me to fix this. It’s my fault and I hate myself.
October 17, 1977
Haven’t written in ten days. Too angry to write for two of those ten. The other eight have been spent working on the carnival. I’m still so angry with Lily and Sirius. I don’t know why they thought they needed to stab their best friends in the back. On the 15, I caught Sirius giving Lily a hug and she was whispering something to him. Rory wasn’t even that mad! Her best friend and boyfriend were sneaking around and she didn’t care! She even went, “James, let them explain. They weren’t sneaking around, Sirius was being a good friend!” I blame myself. Whatever I did to make Lily tell me she wanted to be friends must have been really bad in her eyes.
October 18, 1977
Today we are doing nothing at all. Professor Key is asleep. Her copy of Witch Weekly is over her face and she is snoring away. Tomorrow is the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. Before I hated Lily and Sirius, I was planning on going with them to hang out, but I’m not going. Unless they both make a full apology, I’m not speaking to any of them. Except there’s one little problem with this. I left the Marauder’s Map on the table, and it’s gone. Lily has it; I know she does. I dunno what I’m going to do. I need the map and if my former friends find out I lost it, they’ll kill me.
October 18, 1977
The Head’s Common Room
Lily had decided to tell James what was happening. That it wasn’t his fault and she was ready to go out with him. He hadn’t spoken to her in three days. Not even when they had the Prefect Meeting. (“Ooh. That was fun,” Remus had muttered) If he didn’t listen to her, then she could say that it was his own stupidity, not her lack of telling him things. She hoped that he would listen to her.
Fortunately, James was in the Common Room reading. He stood up when he saw Lily enter.
“Evans,” he said coolly.
“Potter,” she returned just as icily. “I’m going to make you listen to me.”
“Oh really? Is that a challenge?” James asked.
“That’s exactly what it is,” Lily said.
James raised his eyebrows. “I accept,” he muttered and tried to run out of the door.
“Vanes,” Lily murmured.
“Ah,” James thought. “The locking spell.”
“OK, Evans, explain yourself.”
Lily snorted. “I’m telling you what happened.”
She took a deep breath.
“It’s not your fault. I’m upset because I found out my dad had another kid. He cheated on my mum.” Lily said on the verge of tears.
“And you thought that I would do something to hurt you,” James said slowly. He crossed to where she was standing and hugged her.
“Never,” he whispered.
“And Sirius took me aside and made me tell him what happened and then he was trying to make me feel better.” Lily continued.
“I am the biggest idiot who ever lived.”
“No you’re not.” Lily replied.
He released her and held her arms length from himself. James gently took his hand and wiped her eyes.
“It’s all gonna be OK, Lily. I promise,” James said.
Lily sniffed. “Forgive me?” she asked.
“It should be you forgiving me, but if it makes you feel better, OK” James said.
“Let’s spend some time together, just for ourselves.” Lily said.
“How about tomorrow in Hogsmeade?” James said quickly.
“Why not?” Lily grinned.
October 19, 1977
The next morning, Lily and James both paid special attention to how they dressed. It was their first date, and both wanted to remember everything.
Lily chose a delicate green cashmere sweater, a green cloak and hip-huggers. She examined herself in her mirror and smiled.
James chose his favorite black jeans and a sapphire sweater. He hated the sweater, but his mum had given it to him. She was sentimental about silly things like that.
They met in the common room at nine.
“Want some breakfast?” James asked.
“Why not?” Lily answered.
They headed down to the Great hall and caught up with the rest of their friends.
“Everything OK with you two now?” Remus asked.
“Quiet, Moony,” James muttered.
Lily, Rory, and Crystal immediately started gossiping and giggling.
James, Sirius, and Remus looked at them like they were from a different planet. (A/N OOH! They could be from Krypton, like Clark Kent! *Sings the Smallville theme song*)
They helped themselves to breakfast and made plans to meet in the courtyard in the village at 1:00. They would probably go to the Three Broomsticks later on. The six were able to get a carriage together and joked around on the ride. James and Sirius did their famous Slytherin impersonations.
“Come on Severus,” James mimicked Malfoy.
“It’s Snivellus to you.” Sirius replied, being Snape.
Everybody cracked up.
“Wow, that was funny,” Crystal said.
James and Sirius bowed (as much as one could sitting down.)
“We’re here!” Rory cried and jumped out of the carriage.
The six split up. James took Lily’s hand.
“Where to, my dear?” he asked in such a gentlemanly fashion that it made Lily giggle.
“I dunno, you pick,” she said.
They decided to walk around for a little. Lily noticed she got a lot of jealous stares from other girls. She held James’s hand a little tighter, which attracted more glares.
“Something wrong?” James asked in a concerned voice.
Lily shook her head. “I’m OK.”
A song began to play, magically broadcasted from the WWN.
“Want to dance?” James said with a grin.
“I’d love to.”
James started to twirl Lily around. (Later Harry would have a picture of this)
Then both heard a little click and turned around so fast Lily almost fell down.
“Rory Lockhart, don’t ever do that again!” Lily screamed. “You scared me!”
Rory shrugged. “Sorry,” she said. “I thought you might want a picture of your first date.”
James started to double over laughing because of Lily’s overreaction. He quickly stopped when he saw Lily’s death stare.
“Hey, where’s Sirius?” he asked.
“Here I am mate!” Sirius shouted, running out from behind some statue.
Lily sighed. Those goofballs.
Rory came over to Lily. “It’s going to be a cute picture, Lils.”
Lily smiled. “You think?”
Rory nodded. “Come on, let’s go get those boyfriends of ours. We’ve got to meet Remus and Crystal.”
“James! Sirius! We have to go!” Lily shouted.
The six friends were sitting in a booth, sipping butterbeers. All were talking about the upcoming Halloween carnival.
“It’s going to be awesome. Professor Dumbledore even said we could do boggarts for the third year and above.” Lily said enthusiastically.
“And what about some rides?” Crystal asked.
“We were thinking of hippogriffs, but all the professors flat out refused.” James said.
Sirius was still confused about the Boggart. “Why would you want a Boggart?” he asked.
“Halloween is supposed to be scary.” Lily said. “Besides, four prefects will be on hand.”
“OK, so we’ve got the 5th year prefects from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw doing the Squirt Gun Challenge, the 6th year prefects from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw doing the Guess How many Every Flavor beans, and the 7th year Hufflepuff ad Ravenclaw prefects dressing up as zombies.” Remus said, counting them off on his fingers.
“Then there are the fifth year Gryffindor and Slytherin prefects doing the Boggart.” Lily added.
“So that leaves the 6th year Gryffindor and Slytherin prefects doing what?” Rory asked.
Lily and James exchanged a glance. “We haven’t decided yet,” they said in unison.
Their four friends snickered.
“What?” Lily and James asked.
“You’re on your first date together and you’re already talking in unison.” Rory managed.
Lily nodded and slowly scooted away from Rory, who she was sitting next to.
The conversation slowly veered off and Remus looked at his watch.
“The last group of carriages is about to leave,” he said.
The six hurried off to the carriage stop. They got the last one back.
“That was close.” Lily admitted.
The trip back was uneventful. When they got back to the school, everyone went to dinner except James and Lily.
They walked over to the lake.
The moon was bright and shining on the water. The giant squid appeared to be relaxing in the shallows by a tree. Both were quiet for several minutes.
“It’s nice out here. Peaceful.” Lily murmured quietly.
“Um-hum.” James said, almost sleepily.
“Odd,” Lily thought.
That concluded Lily and James’s first date.
October 21, 1977
The Great Hall
Time is going by so fast! Soon it will be Christmas! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. I have no idea what possessed me to write that. I think I’ll start Christmas shopping November 1. Anyway, EVERYTHING is finished for the carnival. At last. It’s going to be a hit, I just know it. Everyone is talking about the Haunted House. Who would have thought James could think of such a good idea. 10 more days until Halloween. I’m so excited!
October 23, 1977
I have nothing to say. I was just bored.
October 24, 1977
Too excited to wait a whole week for the Halloween carnival.
October 26, 1977
The Head’s Common Room
Lily still won’t give me back the map. She was all studying it in front of me. Then I was all, “Lily, can I have my map back?”
She just went, “Not yet.” And then she smiled all evilly.
That girlfriend of mine is up to something.
October 28, 1977
Three days until the Halloween carnival! I’m so excited! I finally got my map back, too. She handed it back and said, “Interesting. Very complex piece of magic, James. How did you make it?” Then I was all, “Um, Remus did most of it.” I wonder why she wanted it.
October 31, 1977
The Halloween Carnival
Everything was in place. Booths were opened with games. The Haunted House was spectacular. Lily and James had decorated it with giant bats and candles were lighted all over the place. The Boggart was in the last room before the students exited. The four 5th year prefects from Gryffindor and Slytherin were in ready position. Lily was going around for the hundredth time making sure everything was absolutely perfect.
“Lils, relax!” James said impatiently. “Everything is fine.”
The clock struck eight o’clock and students began to file in. They separated into smaller chunks and headed off towards the games they wanted to play. Besides the games, there was food. (Of course) Hagrid had also sponsored a boat ride, narrating a pirate tale in a supposedly spooky voice.
Lily spotted Sirius, Rory and Crystal at the Dunk-A-Teacher. Lily noticed that Professor Flitwick looked a bit scared of the ball Sirius held in his right hand.
Sirius threw the ball and hit the bull’s eye of the target. Poor Professor Flitwick fell into the water with such a splash it nearly scared a near-by first year to death. The Gryffindor prefect that had agreed to help Flitwick handed Sirius a large pink dog, which he immediately gave to Rory.
“Hey where’s Remus?” Lily asked Crystal. Sirius and James exchanged glances.
“He’s sick, the poor thing. He told me to go to the carnival and never mind about him.” Crystal said.
“Odd, he seemed fine earlier.” Lily said. “Why don’t we go to the Haunted House?”
Everyone was enthusiastic at this idea. It was what the whole school had been waiting for.
There was quite a line for it. James grinned. He had thought of the best idea.
When they entered, all was dark. Then they heard the noises.
It started with a clank somewhere above them. Then there was a moaning, soft at first, but it grew steadily louder. Some second year screamed.
The next room was entitled the Zombie Zone. The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff prefects had really done a good job with their costumes. Rory seemed to be quite scared; Sirius’s arm was white where her nails had pinched his skin.
The zombies started to moan and groan and pretend to grab at people.
Everyone passed safely through the Zombie Zone and entered the Ghost Gallery. All four of the Hogwarts ghosts were swooping around in the darkness, warning the students to beware.
Then came the last part of the Haunted House: The Boggart Hall. As soon as Lily and her friends stepped inside, the prefects organized them into a neat line so that they might face the Boggart independently. (A/N the students below third year were automatically escorted out)
James was the first of the Marauders to face it.
“Riddikulus,” James bellowed as the Boggart (currently in the form of the Grim Reaper) turned into a Grim Reaper wearing a pink bathrobe.
All students were successful and each was allowed to leave.
“Well, that was fun,” Sirius said when every one of their friends had left.
“You guys did a great job planning,” Crystal agreed.
Lily blushed and James grinned.
“What shall we do next?” Rory asked.
They settled for playing some games.
The Squirt Gun Challenge mesmerized James and Sirius.
“Must win,” James muttered when Lily tried to drag him away.
Lily rolled her eyes.
10 Galleons later, James and Sirius finally gave up.
The friends decided to give Hagrid’s Pirate Adventure (as Hagrid called it) a try.
Luckily, Hagrid was just about to give the last ride of the night. Somehow the five managed to get a boat together and the little fleet zoomed off.
“Now, it’s a dark tale I got for ye tonight.” Hagrid said in his best impersonation of a pirate.
It took every ounce of self-control Lily had not to burst out laughing.
That didn’t stop James and Sirius from snickering. Lily fixed them with one of her infamous death stares.
So Hagrid continued with his pirate tale about treasure and traitors.
“Some say that Bucktoothed Billy kept the treasure. Others say he gave it to Miss Turner, who hid it in her wine cellar. Still others say Bucktoothed Billy danced himself to death at Miss Turner’s wedding.” Hagrid finished. (A/N Just so you guys know, Hagrid’s Pirate Tale made no sense whatsoever. It was designed to make the kids laugh.)
“That was odd.” Rory muttered when they were out of earshot.
The others nodded their agreement.
Then Professor Dumbledore’s voice (magically magnified) boomed through the grounds.
“It is now midnight. The carnival is over. If you are a prefect, please stay and clean up.”
Lily and James supervised the cleaning and when they were satisfied, they went off to their tower.
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