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Troubled by Fredslover
Chapter 3 : This Feels Stupid
 
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Dear Diary,

Wow, that really sounds stupid if you read it out loud, but oh well that's the only way I know how to start this so there it is. Well I have an interesting Christmas coming up. And when I say that, I'm not sure whether I mean it as a good, or a bad thing, because I have no idea how it's going turn out. But I do know one thing. Ron is staying here for the holidays, and that may make it barible, maybe even worth while. I need someone to talk too all Christmas, and who better than Ron Weasley? The only problem is I can't talk to him without looking like a complete idiot. I've got it so bad for him. With his gorgeous ginder hair, his crystal blue eye's, and he has the best sense of humor...

Oh my god, if Cho knew about this, she'd never let me live it down. Although she can't talk, I walked in on her talking to the mirror the other day. She swore she was just reciting some spells, but I'm pretty sure I heard her talking to "Harry". I haven't stooped to that level yet, pretending that emoble objects are my crush...at least not yet.

But right now I'm going to make a promise to myself. I'm going to tell Ron how I feel before this Christmas break is over. I know this is totally not like me, I usually either wait for the other person to speak up, or never say anything at all. But it's different with Ron, I really really like him, a lot. More than I've ever liked anyone. Even though I don't really know him all that well, I've been around him for six years, which is long enough for me to get to know him enough. He's perfect, literally the perfect guy, for me anyway.

Now on to more serious subjects. My mother. I still can't believe that she left me here, I've never spent Christmas alone before, I mean even my brother went somewhere else for the holiday's. It was different when dad was still alive, he'd never let me stay here by myself. Mom wouldn't have either, but she changed when he died, she doesn't care as much as she used too. She completely lost it that night, when we got that letter from the Ministry. Not only did I loose my dad, but I lost my mom as well. She still loves me I know, I see it in her eyes, and don't get me wrong, I love her too, very much, it's just I feel like we're drifting apart, as melodramatic as that sounds.

I just wish she'd write, I know she will, she alway's does. I remember when she used to write letter's to me during the year. She would write most of it, then hand it over to dad and he'd complain about there not being enough room on the parchment to write anything down after my mom was through. I used to live for those letter's, but now, I'm lucky to get one a week, if that. Maybe I should write her, I don't know, I'm so confused.

Cho will be leaving in a few day's. I still wonder if I should have taken her offer of going to her house, I've never been there before, what if they turned out to be annoying or something and I was stuck with them for the entire break. No, I think this is probably my best bet. Sad right?

I can't decide whether I feel better now that I've written all of this down, or whether I should chuck this whole diary in the bin, and try to erase the fact that I actually wrote in one out of my head.

No I can't chuck it, Cho got it for me, plus it's a really beautiful book, and now that I think of it, I guess it can't hurt to write this stuff down, after all I can't tell anyone else, why not tell a piece of parchment? Well that's all for now I guess...write to you later.

Ok that was corny.

Love from,
Morgan


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