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Living Life by singing
Chapter 14 : Chapter Fourteen
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 30

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I woke up the next day, feeling like I didn’t sleep at all. I heard someone humming to herself, and I separated my curtains. I looked grumpily at Henn, who was bouncing at around the room full of energy, and envied her for her good night’s sleep.

“Hogsmeade trip today.” Henn said, turning around and grinning at me once she saw that I was awake. “I can’t wait, can you?”

“Henn, it’s bloody six in the morning.” I said, after glaring at the clock above the door.

“I know.” Henn said, sitting near the vanity and tying her hair into a high ponytail. “How was detention yesterday?”

I yawned, stretching my arms and thinking about it. “Actually, it wasn’t that bad.”

Henn raised an eyebrow at me. “I thought you had a detention with Potter.”

“I did.”

Henn gave me a skeptical look. “Oh.” she said thoughtfully. “Want to go and get some breakfast?”

I turned to look at Gaby and Grace, who’s four posters were still tightly sealed around their beds. I wished that I was sleeping too.

“Okay.” I said, dragging my feet off my bed and stalking off to the bathroom. Henn came skipping after me, taking a good look at my face.

“You look horrible.” she noted.

“Gee, thanks.”

“What time did you get out of your detention last night?” she asked, applying some makeup on.

“Three in the morning.” I said, rolling my eyes at the thought of Mcgongall. I decided not to mention that I was actually let out at two thirty.

“Ack.” Henn said, scrunching her nose up. I nodded in agreement, while brushing my teeth. I looked at my reflection, I really did look horrible. My eyelids were drooping with dark circles underlining them, my red hair was flat and lifeless on my head, and my face was very pale. Henn looked at me tentatively before speaking up. “You know, you should go and get some sleep.”

“I can’t once I wake up.” I said, tying my hair into two braids and washing my face.

Henn shrugged, not arguing any further on this point. I walked out of the bathroom and put on my ugly maroon jumper with some decent looking pants, looking myself in the mirror. Well, there was little improvement, I guess.

“Let’s go.” Henn said happily, hopping down the stairs. She was so ecstatic today, sometimes I wondered how we were friends. She was always happy, and cheery, while I was depressing and rather quiet.

The Great Hall was practically deserted, and to my dismay, dirty again. There were two Slytherins, conversing in low voices at their table, a few Gryffindors chatting animatedly at our table, and apparently, no Hufflepuffs were early morning birds, because none were eating breakfast yet. And at the Ravenclaw table there was...

Hm, interesting. Now, what was Zach doing sitting with Aaron Smith?

Aaron Smith was one of those few guys who matched James’s and Sirius’s popularity. I often heard Sirius badmouthing him about how he won a fight over some girl that Sirius would get over in a day, how more people wanted to be his partner in classes sometimes, or if Aaron’s party had more people than Sirius’s. Smith was also one of those few that weren’t afraid of the Marauders, something I had to admire. Okay, I’ll admit, Aaron is very, (emphasis on ‘very’) good looking. He has outrageously charming blonde hair, that fell onto his rather tan face and gorgeous ocean green eyes. I would say that he had the best eyes in the whole school. He was pretty muscular, with a gold earring in his left earlobe. Aaron also seemed nice, something that James and Sirius usually weren’t. Naturally, he was surrounded my his friends and some girls, who were fluttering their eyelashes and giggling way too much for my liking.

I didn’t think there was anything wrong with Zach sitting with Aaron. I just thought it was strange. I mean, since he was new and all, he usually sat alone, or with me. I caught his eye and he smiled at me, waving me over. I walked nervously over there, followed by Henn. I never was too social, and I always had a problem meeting new people. As we walked over there, Aaron turned around and smiled at us.

“Hey.” Zach said to me, grinning his awfully gorgeous smile.

“Hey.” I replied, glancing at Aaron.

“Lily, this is Aaron. Aaron, Lily. And this is Henn, Lily’s friend.” I smiled as he said this, but he just kept on naming everyone else. “And this is Ralph, (he pointed to a rather snotty looking boy with dark brown hair and who was eyeing Henn, who seemed oblivious) Crystal, (this girl had bright round blue eyes with straight brown hair) Jeremy, (this guy had dread locks and dark skin and grinned at me) and this is Natalie.” The last girl also looked stuck up, with short and swishy brown hair and was extremely skinny. I forced another smile.

“Want to eat with us?” Aaron asked. I nodded and sat next to Zach, while Henn sat across from me next to Ralph. Ralph still was looking at Henn, and I had a feeling that it made me more uncomfortable than her. “So, you’re all going to Hogsmeade, right?”

I waited until someone responded, but then I noticed he was talking to Henn and I.

“Er...yeah.” I said, shifting uncomfortably.

“But are you going with anyone?” Ralph interrupted, not even bothering to smile at Henn when he asked this.

“Dunno.” Henn said, shrugging. She seemed more interesting in gulping down her eggs than giving Ralph the tiniest of a glance. He seemed to notice this, because he ran his hand through his hair frustratingly. I saw that Jeremy and Crystal weren’t paying much attention to us, they were talking amongst themselves and smiling pleasantly at each other.

I felt Zach’s fingers intertwine with mine, and I struggled not to pull away. He never really did that in public, and somehow I felt like he was just trying to prove himself to his new group of friends. I noticed that I was constantly looking at the clock, wanting Gaby or Grace to hurry down as an excuse for me to leave.

Gaby and Grace didn’t come down for a while, but James and Sirius did. I quickly turned away as he noticed who I was sitting with today.

I tried to pay attention to Zach, who was now talking to Aaron about Quidditch. They were both fanatics, I noticed. I heard Aaron mention something about hitting someone with a bludger last year at Ravenclaw’s final match, so I was assuming that he was a beater.

“So Evans,” Aaron said, grinning at me. “I heard that you’re the new Chaser on the Gryffindor team. You any good?”

He was kidding, but I didn’t know what to say. Oh yeah, I’m great. Then I’d sound stuck up. Not really. I think I got in with luck. Then he wouldn’t see me as a threat the next game.

“Er, I’m okay, I guess.” I said finally, shrugging. Aaron nodded.

“Who else tried out?” Aaron asked. I knew he could careless, and was just trying to be nice and start a conversation. I hated it when people did that...I felt like they were sorry for me or something.

“I don’t remember.” I said. Wow, I must have sounded real interesting. Even Henn was looking at me questionably. She knew that I didn’t have bad memory. Ralph was still looking at her, unnoticed because of Henn’s intense hunger. I tried hard not to roll my eyes.

Finally, I saw Gaby come in, and I felt relieved. I finally had an excuse to leave this table.

“I have to go.” I said, interrupting Crystal unintentionally. “Nice meeting you.”

I hopped out of my seat, rushing out to meet Gaby who was for some reason, proceeding towards the Hufflepuff table. Henn jumped out of her seat too, waving to Aaron’s friends, and following me.

I soon found out why Gaby was sitting with the Hufflepuffs today. She was chatting and giggling with Jack, her date to Hogsmeade.

“Hey Gaby.” I said, hopping in a seat across from her. Henn slid next to me. Gaby forced a smile.

“Hello Lily, hello Henn.” she said. She obviously didn’t want us there, but whatever. She’d have to deal with it. Henn seemed to be in oblivion again, since she once again had food in front of her.

“So, who are you?” Henn asked, gulping down her food, and pointing rather rudely at Jack. I snorted. I knew that she knew perfectly well that who the cute boy in front of her was, but she felt like annoying Gaby. Gaby scowled.

“This is Jack.” Gaby said, forcing some sweetness into her voice. Jack smiled politely back. Henn gave me a smug smile and swallowed her food again, perching her chin onto her fingers.

“You know what? You’re cute.” Henn said, pretending to flirt with Gaby’s date. Gaby glared daggers at her, while poor Jack flushed deeply.

“Stop it, Henn!” Gaby exclaimed incredulously.

“Yeah Henn, stop harassing minors.” I said, trying hard not to snicker. Jack was still blushing, but had a shy smile on his face as he looked at the ground.

“That’s it. Go. Now.” Gaby demanded, pointing to the Gryffindor table. I got up, watching Henn gulp down some orange juice before getting up also. We both shot flirtatious looks at Jack before leaving, making Gaby look very pissed indeed.

Henn snorted, finally sitting at our table across from Kat, Leah, and that kid who was trying out for Chaser also, named Marcus.

“Hey.” I said, pouring myself some pumpkin juice.

“Hey.” Leah said, closing the book she had been reading. Marcus immediately took it and started to read. “You guys going to Hogsmeade?”

“Yep.” I said. “You?”

“We’re all going.” Kat said, motioning to Leah and Marcus also. I noticed that Marcus was rather quiet, he kinda of reminded me of Remus, actually. He kept to himself also.

I watched as everyone ate until finally we all walked into the Great Hall, making our way towards Filch who was looking at our permission slips to enter Hogsmeade. A crowd of third years were looking quite nervous under Filch’s glare. I got in line behind Kat, hearing a voice behind me.

“Hey Lily!” Zach said, walking toward me. I smiled at him and felt relieved that Aaron and his friends weren’t there.

“Hey Zach.”

From the corner of my eye I saw Leah eye him, giving me her approval. I tried hard not to laugh.

“This place is pretty cool.” Zach said, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he saw Hogsmeade for the first time. I raised an eyebrow at him. Pretty cool? No doubt Aaron’s influence. “So, where do you want to go first?”

“How about Honeydukes?” I suggested. When Zach continued to look blank, I added, “It’s the candy store.”

“Oh, sure.” he said, as I tugged on his arm and lead him to Honeydukes. The little bell on the top of the door rung as we walked inside, looking around.

I was in the middle of trying a strange looking Bertie Botts that was yellowish green, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Oh, hey Lydia.” I said, turning around and grimacing at what seemed to be ripe banana flavor in my bean. She must have thought I was grimacing at her, because she looked alarmed. Zach was looking at me with an ‘oh great, not her again’ expression.

“Is this a bad time?” she said hurriedly. “Because if it is I could leave -”

I waved a hand impatiently and she immediately fell quiet. “No, it’s not you.” I said. “What do you need?”

“Well,” she said, smiling smugly. “Remember that conversation we had a month or so ago?”

“Erm, yes.” I said, although not recalling at all.

“Well, you told me that Lynn was a real nice girl and everything, and she needed a friend.”

“Oh, that’s really nice Lydia, I’m glad that you’ve become her friend.” I said, smiling.

“What?” she asked blankly. Slowly, it dawned on her. “Ooh, no you got it all wrong. I’m not Lynn’s friend.”

I blinked. “Oh.”

“I just wanted to figure out why that girl’s so screwed up.” Lydia said, shrugging. “You see, I think that if we could just turn this girl normal, that she’ll be able to be social and have a whole new flock of friends.”

“Normal?” I repeated, raising my eyebrows. “Lynn is normal.”

“Anyway,” Lydia continued, as if she hadn’t heard me. “I asked a few people around in the Ravenclaw house, and I’ve figured it out.”

“Figured...what out?” I asked, scowling.

“Lynn’s mother died a short while ago.” Lydia said informatively, as if she was reporting to me as some secret spy. I gaped at her.

“What?” I sputtered. “Lynn’s mother died?” Lydia nodded, and I suddenly hated her. How could she act so cool about this all? This was a huge deal. I was even madder at the Ravenclaw house, gossiping about Lynn’s private and horrific life.

I looked at Zach, who was looking at the ground and not saying anything respectfully. I turned to Lydia again.

“When did this happen?”

Lydia shrugged. “I think just before this school year, actually. I don’t know how I didn’t recognize this before, it was all over the newspapers.”

“That poor girl.” I muttered, not noticing that they could here me. My head shot up, then I turned to Zach. “I have to go find her. Is it okay if I meet you at Three Broomsticks at three?”

Zach nodded, and Lydia looked incredulously at me. That is, before I turned on my heel and left.

I don’t know why it was so important for me to go and find her, but I found myself running up the grand staircase anyway. Then, it struck me how stupid I had been. This school was huge, how would I know where to look?

Okay, think Lily. Where would you be if you were not allowed to go to Hogsmeade, and it was a Saturday?

I thought of going outside, since it was pretty nice out and I saw a few clusters of younger students out by the lake on my way from Hogsmeade, but I knew that Lynn was like me, and I wasn’t social.

So I went to the most probable place I could think of. I found her in the library, sitting alone in a secluded corner, her head bowed to a book.

“Hey.” I whispered, practically gasping since I was running around the school. Lynn’s head shot up, and she returned my smile, although it was rather weak. I noticed that she hastily shut the book she had been reading.

“Hey Lily.” she said. I bit my lip, not sure what I should say. I wasn’t about to go : ‘hey, I heard about your mom, and I’m wondering if you’re okay.’ Of course she wasn’t okay.

“So, how are you?” I asked, ignoring the little edge in my mind that was telling myself to hug her and never let her go.

Lynn shrugged. “Hailey and her friends aren’t bugging me anymore.”

I didn’t know who she was talking about at first, but then I remembered four bratty girls that were torturing Lynn the day that I was eating lunch with her.

“That’s good.” I said, nodding. Lynn shrugged again. “Are you doing your homework?”

“Yeah.” Lynn said. Silence. “Why aren’t you at Hogsmeade?”

“Oh.” I said, trying to think of a quick lie. “Er, well you know, I got bored, so I headed back.” Which was half true.

“Is your sister nice?” she asked suddenly, crossing her arms in a professional manner as if I was at a job interview.

“Not really.” I said, chuckling. “She used to be, though.”

“What happened?” Lynn asked, frowning.

“My mum left.” I said simply, making Lynn’s expression soften. “My whole family changed when she did. Then, to make things worse, Petunia found out I was a witch.”

“What’s wrong with being a witch?” Lynn asked indignantly. I laughed slightly, although I felt hollow inside. Like every time that I thought about my family falling apart.

“Nothing at all.” I replied. “Petunia just doesn’t like things out of the ordinary. She doesn’t like change.” And neither do I.

“I have to go.” Lynn said quietly. I nodded. I knew how sometimes you just wanted to be left alone. She picked up her books carefully, cradling them in her arms.

“Take care, Lynn.” I said softly.

“Take care, Lily.” she said, walking out the library.

When I got back to Hogsmeade, I saw Zach in Three Broomsticks. He obviously got good directions. Unfortunately, he was with Aaron, Crystal, and Jeremy. I noticed that Natalie and Ralph were no where to be seen. For a moment I thought of turning back, and giving some stupid excuse to Zach. But he saw me, waved me over, and I had no choice.

“Hey.” I said, forcing a smile and sitting next to Zach. All the guys there was drinking fire whiskey, which made me rather uncomfortable.

“Do you want something to drink, Lily?” Crystal asked politely, she was sipping on the remainder of the water in her cup.

“Um, sure. I’ll go get it.” I said, getting up from my seat and going over the counter where Madame Rosemerta was sitting. “Hey, can I have a butterbeer please?”

“Sure thing Lily.” Rosemerta said, smiling as she filled a mug with butterbeer. I felt someone sit on the stool next to me, and I ignored it.

“Two fire whiskeys, Rosemerta m’dear.” said the deep voice beside me. I inwardly groaned.

“Now, James,” Rosemerta said, turning around and handing me my butterbeer. I hastily took out the money out of my pocket. “Don’t you think you and Sirius are a little too young for a fire whiskey?”

“Not at all ma’am.” James replied, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes. “Just turned seventeen in August.”

Rosemerta raised her eyebrows. “Is that so?”

“Yep.” James said, giving her a charming grin. I snorted. As if Rosemerta, a pretty woman in her twenties, would accept on going on a date with James. James was probably seen as a child in her eyes.

“Thanks.” I said, as she gave me my change and started to fill two mugs of fire whiskey for James.

“See you later Evans.” he said, glancing at me before I left. I ignored him and sat in my seat next to Zach again.

“So, Lily,” Crystal said, her blue eyes shining as she grinned at me. Today her hair was curled and put in a high ponytail, a few curly strands in her face. “Did you get your dressrobes yet?”

“Robes?” I repeated, blankly. Crystal gaped at me.

“You haven’t?” she asked. “You don’t have anything for the Graduation Ball yet?”

The Graduation Ball. Oh yeah...I had already started organizing it.

“Isn’t that at the end of the year?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. Crystal shrugged.

“I got mine with my parents last summer. Really, Lily, you should get yours soon or all the good ones will be taken.” she said, looking at me as if I didn’t hurry, I’d be wearing a rag for the Ball if I didn’t hurry. “So, what color do you plan on wearing?”

“Crystal, I don’t Lily’s into these kind of things.” Aaron said, chuckling. For some reason I was offended, then I realized that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t a rich, pretty girl who probably was spoiled and lived in a manor and had tons and tons of beautiful dress robes.

“To be honest, I haven’t thought about it.” I said, a little quietly. Crystal nodded.

“Well, do you want to check out the store after lunch?” Crystal suggested.

“Sure.” I said, although I already had used the majority of my money at Honeydukes. I wanted to prove to everyone, especially Zach, that I could be social and girly and dressy when I wanted to be.

“I was thinking that you should get a green dress.” Crystal said thoughtfully, as we walked down the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade, clutching our cloaks around our shoulders. “You know, to match your eyes. I’m so jealous of you, you have gorgeous eyes.”

I felt myself blush slightly, but couldn’t help but feel proud. If there was one thing that I liked about myself, it was my eyes. Probably because my grandma had the same colored ones.

“You have pretty eyes too.” I said, mostly to be nice.

“Yeah right.” Crystal said, tutting but smiling at me. “Mine are so boring, just blue.”

Her eyes were beautiful, and looked pretty with her hair, but I decided to just let the conversation die there.

“I’m so glad that they have a Giovanna’s here.” Crystal said, as we entered the store. I tried hard not to grimace. Giovanna’s had expensive written all over it.

“Did you get your dress here?” I asked, but Crystal didn’t hear me, since she was shrieking at a girl who was looking at herself in the mirror.

“Natalie! That dress looks great on you.” Crystal said admirably as we walked over to the snotty looking blonde I had met earlier. Natalie didn’t say anything, she just raised her eyebrow at me, as if asking ‘Why are you here?’

The dress Natalie had on was a baby blue one, that looked rather odd on her complexion, in my opinion. I guess everything was great to Crystal.

“I’m here to help Lily find a set of dress robes.” Crystal explained. Natalie nodded, returning her attention to the mirror once again. “Anyway, Lily come on, I think I know a dress that will look stunning on you.”

I followed her to the front rack, as she pulled out a silky magenta dress that had thin straps and a layer of translucent material lying over it. The money in my pocket could’ve screamed and ran out of the store, once it saw the dress and its price tag.

“It’s pretty.” I said finally. Crystal beamed.

“Okay, go try it on.” she said, stuffing the dress into my hands. I walked towards a dressing room, when a plump lady came running out to meet me.

“Can I help you?” she said, in an Italian accent. I gave her a weak smile.

“No thank you.” I said, then closed the curtain on her.

Once I was done changing, I looked in the mirror. Ack. It was definitely one of those things that looked better on the mannequins and clothes racks.

“Hm,” Crystal said, once she saw me. I could tell she was trying to think of something nice to say. “Well, it gives you a good figure, but I think the color clashes too much with your hair.”

After about two horribly tedious hours of trying on clothes that came from Crystal’s never ending enthusiasm, we finally got out of Giovanna’s, accompanied by Natalie, who was holding several bags. Crystal was also carrying a bag, of the magenta dress that didn’t look good on me but apparently looked great on her.

I had tried turquoise ones, (“No, I don’t think so.” said Giovanna, shaking her head in dismay.) every possible shade of red imaginable, (“Well,” Crystal said anxiously, pulling my hair up. “Maybe if we tie up your hair like this...”) and even a set of horrible yellow ones that I didn’t even bother to come out in.

Now, Crystal and Natalie were chatting animatedly about their dress robes, and that horrible feeling that I had been feeling since the moment I walked into Three Broomsticks sunk in again. I did not belong with them, and I don’t even know why I bothered to come with Crystal to an expensive store that I knew I didn’t have enough money for.

Was I trying to fit in? Looks like. Or maybe I just thought that I wasn’t good enough for Zach. More likely.

What was with him anyway? Why did he need new friends? And why did he just have to pick Aaron Smith, one of the most popular guys in the school? It was like hanging out with a nicer version of James. All guys were the same, I supposed.

“So,” Henn asked once I finally sat down next to her to eat dinner in the Great Hall. “How was your day?”

“Lousy,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I hardly spent anytime with Zach.”

“Oh?” Henn asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who were you with then?”

“With Crystal and Natalie.” I said nonchantly, starting to pile some ham and rice onto my plate.

“Come again?”

“You know, those two girls Zach was hanging with at breakfast today.” I said, waving my fork impatiently and making pieces of meat fly into a poor second year’s face.

“Ooh.” Henn said, comprehension riding over her face. “And why were you with them?” Henn asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Can you believe they were already shopping for their Graduation robes?” I said incredulously. “It’s at the end of the year! So Crystal drags me off to this place called Giovanna’s or Greta’s or something, and we spend hours looking for something decent but not totally expensive for me to wear, and it ends up that I’m the only one who doesn’t come out with a shopping bag when I was the person we were looking for a dress in the first place. What kind of girl already has her dressrobes for the Graduation Ball?”

I was speaking very fast, and I noticed as I said the last part, Henn seemed to stop chewing and blink at me. I slowly started to work my mind and I was horrified as I remembered that Henn had money and a good family who loved her. She probably had gotten her dressrobes in the summer as a ‘bonding experience’ with her mother. I wanted to grip my hair out.

“I’m sorry Henn.” I said apologetically. “I’m just really mad, that’s all. It has nothing to do with you, and it’s okay if you already have a dress.”

“I know.” Henn said, finally swallowing her food. “It’s okay though, you don’t need to apologize. I understand.”

I could feel myself shrink in my moral and wanted to tape my mouth shut. I am such an idiot.

“Hey.” Grace said as she sat next to me. “Lily, I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I was with Zach.” I said, not wanting to explain how my day went just in case Grace had already gotten her dress too.

“I see.” Grace said, nodding. “Well, my day was pretty stupid. Remus got mad at me, so I left him and hung out with Gaby for a while. Except Gaby was being disgustingly flirtatious, and when I finally found Henn I only had about an hour left in Hogsmeade.”

“Why did Remus get mad at you?” I asked. Grace shrugged.

“He’s been uptight lately. Oh and here.” she said, taking some sweets out of her purse. “Happy Halloween.”

“Halloween’s tomorrow.” Henn reminded her.

“I know.” Grace said, as I immediately took a chocolate frog and took a bite. “But I thought that this might cheer us up after such a shitty day.”

Henn nodded in agreement, and soon took Grace’s Halloween present. “Wanna haf a hurls’ niht?” Henn asked, with her mouth full.

“Uh, what?” I asked, rasing an eyebrow. Henn swallowed her chocolate completely before speaking again.

“Want to have a girls’ night?” Henn asked, this time more clearly.

“Sounds good.” Grace said. “No boys, though. I mean it. I need a break.”

“I think we all do.” I said, looking at Zach, who was laughing with Aaron and Crystal.

The girl’s night was a disaster. Gaby, who came to the dorm at two in the morning, laughing and giggling about Jack, sat down accidently on top of the popcorn that I had conjured and started to chat away about her date.

“I thought this was supposed to be a girls’ night.” Henn murmured in my ear.

“Are you drunk?” I asked incredulously. Gaby gaped at me. I knew she wasn’t, but for some reason I felt jealous that she had a great day, when I didn’t. Why did she have to be so pretty, anyway? Gaby, the Venezuelan girl with her long brown hair and eyes, earning some glaces as she walked down the hall. I wanted to hit myself for being so unfair.

“I’m not drunk.” she said, frowning at me. “What’s your problem anyway?” she said, talking to all us now. “I had a great time, and I was so happy about sharing it with you guys, and you all just blow me off.”

“We don’t have a problem, we’re really just so thrilled about your minor date Gaby, really.” I said, sarcasm dripping in my voice. Gaby rounded on me, scowling. But before she could say or do anything else, the door opened and Cecilia walked in, wearing her usual night partying revealing clothes. She raised an eyebrow at Gaby, who was scattered in popcorn, to Henn who had chocolate frog wrappers around her feet, and to Grace and I, who were wearing rollers in our hair and a beauty mask just for the fun of it. Naturally, she walked right back out and closed the door behind her.

“I’m leaving too.” Gaby huffed, standing up and following Cecilia down the hall. Henn yawned and walked over to her bed, closing the four poster.

“I’m calling it a night.” she said, through the curtains. Grace nodded, going to the bathroom with me and trying to take off the green mask that looked absolutely ridiculous on us.

I looked hard in the mirror, at my pale face, the curlers in my vivid red hair, my nose that I thought was way too pointy for my liking, and the big shirt that was my father’s. And all of a sudden, everything sunk in, I was unhappy, and I could do nothing about it.

“‘Night Grace.” I said, pulling my curlers out viciously and crawling into my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears that were bound to come out soon. I didn’t know why this wave of sadness came over me, and I didn’t know why I wanted to cry so bad. But I was especially confused and didn’t know why I wanted James to be there to hold me.

The next day I woke up with candy scattered around me, with little pumpkin confetti in my hair and on my comforter. I opened my four poster and raised my eyebrow at Grace, who was wearing the same bewildered expression as me from her open four poster.

“Did you do this?” Grace asked. I smirked.

“Yeah, right.” I said, digging something under my pillow and throwing a bag of bertie botts at her. “Happy Halloween, by the way.”

“Same to you.” Grace said nonchantly. The bathroom door opened and Henn came out, towel in her hair and a light pink bathrobe. She grinned at us.

“Did you like it?” she asked, hopping on Grace’s bed and looking at the sweets.

“You gave us all this candy?” I asked incredulously. Henn shook her head.

“Sorry, I love you guys and all, but I met this really cute Hogsmeade villager yesterday and forgot to buy candy.” she said, taking a chocolate frog from Grace without permission.

“And where exactly did you get all this confetti?” Grace asked, motioning to her pillow.

“I found it on the Three Broomsticks’ tables last year and stuffed it in my purse.” Henn said nonchantly. I snickered as Grace looked at her in horror.

“Honestly Henn, those tables are so dirty!” Grace exclaimed indignantly. Henn shrugged.

“So, I’m guessing Gaby is the one who probably wasted two weeks of allowance on all these sweets.” I said, jumping off of my bed and shaking the confetti off of me.

It was a day full of sunshine, I noticed as we walked down to the common room, sunlight streaming through the windows.

I paused in my way towards the portrait hole when I heard someone yelling just outside the Fat Lady’s portrait. I listened in horror; it was definitely James. He kept on screaming the same words over and over again, having someone laugh in the background, probably Sirius.

The portrait swung open and James’s voice came out more clearly :

“Lily Evans, love of my life, go out with me you know you want to!”

Ah. I wanted to die.

James came tumbling out of the hole, Sirius scrambling after him and laughing heartily. Yes, they were definitely drunk.

James finally rose up, staggering towards me and putting an arm around me. I heard him whisper in my ear, “Lily, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

Henn was laughing so hard that she was supporting herself on the wall, while Grace’s lip kept twitching as if she was thinking if this was funny or nauseating.

“Lily! Hey Lily!” Sirius said, straightening his clothes as he grinned stupidly at me. “Guess what James said, Lily! He wants you to bear his children.”

I felt my cheeks flush as I saw Sirius act like a little kid. He walked over to Grace and gave her a big slurp sounding kiss on her cheek.

“I always thought you were hot you know,” he slurred, putting his arm around Grace who was now scowling. “Yep. Always jealous of old Moony.”

James, was slurring his words against my ear, and I instantly knew that he had too many fire whiskeys last night. Sirius looked at us and said in what he obviously thought was a serious voice, “Be careful Evans, he just told me that he wanted to make love to you.”

“Sirius, stop being an idiot.” Grace snapped, finally shoving him away and making him sit on a couch.

“C’mon.” I mumbled, putting my arm around his waist and trying to support his weight as I walked slowly up the boys’ staircase. “You need to go to sleep.”

“Beware, Evans! Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Prongs could be vicious when he hic! wants to be.” Sirius said, hiccuping. He turned to Grace. “Will you carry me up to my room too?”

“No.” Grace said disgustedly.

It was slow progress, but finally we were in James’s dorm, and I was trying to make him lay on the bed.

“You are so damn frustrating sometimes.” I muttered, shoving him so he’d stay still. “I bet you didn’t even sleep yet.”

James grinned stupidly at me, and I knew I was right. His grin slid off his face, and he took a deep breath.

“Lily, I love you.” he said earnestly.

“No, you don’t James.” I said, fluffing his pillow. “You’re drunk.”

“No.” James said, sitting up. “I’ve loved you ever since we were four.”

“Okay, James.” I said, getting up from his bed and going to the bathroom, where boxers were scattered disgustedly on the floor. I hopped around them, grabbing a shirt that was lying around and putting it under the sink. I came back and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

“Do you love me?” he said suddenly, not taking his eyes away from mine. I felt my stomach drop.

“James,” I said warningly.

“No, do you?” he pressed on. I sighed.

“No.” I said finally. I noticed that one of the hardest things you could do to somebody was say that you didn’t love them. James’s face fell, and he laid back against the wall. “C’mon James, quit acting like a baby.”

“I’m not.” James said quietly. I sighed again.

“James, we both know that you don’t love me. You’re drunk, you’ll probably have a hangover and won’t even remember anything by tomorrow.”

James shook his head. “You’re wrong, Lily. I can’t possibly forget about this.” he said solemnly. “The first time my heart’s been broken. Let’s toast for you, shall we?” He made a motion of his hand as if he was holding a glass. “To Lily Evans, the girl who finally got to James Potter.”

I stared at him, not believing my ears. What was he doing? He was exposing himself, that’s what. “James, I don’t have to love you.” I snapped. James looked at me, his face quite expressionless.

“You’re wrong, Lily.” he said, shaking his head. “Because we were meant to love each other. Don’t you feel it?”

“Feel, what?” I asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“That the world is spinning, that I want to get close to you and never let go. You...don’t feel...anything?” he asked faintly.

I did. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, feeling his heart beat, but I’d never allow myself to. I sighed and turned to leave the room.

“Just wait, Lily.” he said, calling after me. “I’ll break through your ice some day.”

Let’s hope so, James.

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