Chapter 4 : IV. Not Exactly On The Same Page [or] Pamphlets? Hilarious!
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The light of the next morning burns Scorpius’ eyes. He rubs them, and turns to see a black head of hair next to him.
Shit! What was I thinking?! Why did I have sex with him? Oh my god. My father is going to kill me! My mum’s gonna’ kill me! Pansy’s daughter is gonna’ kill me, I mean I only kissed Ivy, but still. Blaise’s daughter might kill me too. Oh no oh no oh no oh no. Albus is gonna’ KILL me! And not ground me into bits, but literally K-I-L-L me. Oh no oh no oh no oh no OH SHIT FUCK THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
Scorpius looks under the covers, and he and Albus are both indeed naked.
Daddy I’m sorry! It was a total accident. I wasn’t gay, I’m not. What am I gonna’ do? All possible respect I could’ve had is gone. All because of stupid Potter and his stupid kiss!
He tries to remember last night, and eventually does.
Oh shit! I told him I loved him. Shit I’m a ponce! I’m so stupid! What am I going to do?!
“Morning Sunshine.” Albus says, turning around to face Scorpius.
Scorpius realizes Albus hand is running over his chest and he tumbles out of the bed from utter fear.
Thank god it’s a weekend. Thank god no one else is in here. Thank god it’s 11:30, because no one’s in here.
Scorpius finds his boxers and slides them on, trying to forget the fact that he didn’t have them on in the first place. He then puts on his shirt, and finds Albus’ base clothing to give to him. Scorpius hands him the boxers through the curtains and warns him, “If you come out of there before you have your boxers on I will not hesitate to pitch you off the astronomy tower!” Even though he might want to see Albus naked just a little.
“Okay, okay. I’ll do whatever. Just don’t tell anyone we shagged. It’s not like it meant anything anyway.”
Scorpius melts a little.
I can’t believe you! You virginal boy stealer. I loose my virginity on a fling. You know what, fuck you!
“Yeah, it didn’t mean anything to me either.”
“Glad we’re on the same page.” Albus says through the curtain.
“Yeah, me too.” Not.
Oh my god. I know I denied it for all the time I’ve known him, but I’m starting to think that I like Albus Potter. Maybe not sexually, I mean his hand touched my chest and I freaked. But I like the idea of him holding my hand. That first kiss of the night was beautiful, it really seemed like he meant it. Well god damn it! I can’t get attached now, because we’re ‘on the same page’
“Just a fling.” Albus says, appearing from behind the curtains.
“Just a fling.” Scorpius echoes.
“Just a hookup.”
“Just a hookup.”
“A one-night stand.”
“Albus, I won’t tell anyone. But I’m pissed off you did that.” Scorpius says, tears in his eyes. He turns and heads towards the door, when a voice calls after him.
“Scorp! You’re not wearing any pants.” Albus says, matter a fact.
“Right.” Scorpius replies, grabbing his pants and storming off as soon as they’re on.
I can’t believe this! Why was I so stupid? I’m an idiot for trusting him. You only loose it once. And I sure as hell can’t believe I picked my best friend for my first time. Yeah, I’m definitely a ponce. But, what if I actually like him? I mean, I never really thought about it before, but I guess I just needed a little thought provoking- ah - snogging. Well, he is handsome, he’s good in bed, and he’s my best friend. But besides that he has nothing going for him! Well, other than his popularity, intelligence, kindness, gentleness—Oh my God Malfoy! You’re not helping yourself. You are not into Albus Potter! If you were, you would have professed your love in a heart shattering sonnet back in that dorm. If you were in love with him you-
“What’re you thinking?” Rose asks him at lunch. No, not lunch, dinner. Scorpius missed lunch, because of…
“Nothing, nothing.” Scorpius answers.
Rose frowns. She looks at her best friend like she can see into his soul. “Scorpius, I know that look.”
“Oh my God, Edmund look at him!”
Edmund turns to look at Scorpius. “Oh my God, you’re right!”
“You had sex with him!” Rose blurts out.
“What? With who?!” Edmund questions. “That was not where I was heading with that!”
“Albus, Edmund. Albus.”
“Oh, Albus. But you’re not-“
“Shut up Edmund!” Rose scolds. “No judging!”
“So, you’re bi then?”
“I DIDN’T HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE!” Scorpius lies. A few people turn around, but everyone goes back to their food a few minutes after.
“So, then you just lost your-” Edmund starts to ask before getting cut off by Rose with a “Vulagar language!”
“‘Virginity’ is not vulgar language Rose Weasley!”
“No.” Scorpius states, quite annoyed with the situation.
Edmund and Rose both look at Scorpius.
“Fine, I had sex with him.” Scorpius says, running a hand through his hair. “But it’s not like it meant anything!” He adds. “At least he says it didn’t mean anything.” Scorpius whispers.
“What?” Edmund asks.
“Oh my God! You like him don’t you?” Rose says.
“What?” Edmund repeats.
“Get your ears fixed dear friend.” Rose says. “I will make this plain and simple for you.” Rose tells Edmund. “Scorpius-like-Albus.” She says slowly, as if talking to a small child or dog.
“No.” Is all Scorpius says, but neither of his friends buy it.
“Scorpius, you went from ghost to firetruck in one second. You obviously like him.” Edmund says.
“Okay fine. If I wasn’t a terrible liar I wouldn’t have admitted it though.” Scorpius gives in.
Soon after Scorpius’s confession, loud noises fill the room. “Get ready for the drama.” Edmund says.
They all turn to the Slytherin table to see Albus, surrounded by girls and his ‘not best friend’ gang.
“He won’t come over.” Rose says.
“Really? Because he’s coming over.” Edmund motions to a walking Albus. His group isn’t with him, and they all know why.
“When you said don’t tell, I didn’t think it meant I couldn’t tell Rose and Edmund.”
“You told Rose and--? Nevermind. It’s fine. Just no one else.” Albus snaps.
“Woah, let’s just all take a deep brea-“
“Rose, not now.” Albus glares. “What exactly did he tell you?”
“Albus, we’re your best friends. We wouldn’t tell anyone you slept with a boy, especially Scorpius.” Edmund says, a little too loudly. What seems like the whole Great Hall stops talking and turns to look at the foursome.
“Oopsises.” Edmund squeaks. Albus glares at him, and sends him an evil look before storming off.
“Show's over folks.” The head boy says, getting people back into their usual routine. But something tells everyone, even after Hauser Finnegan shushes people from the Slytherin table, that everyone at Hogwarts will know by the end of the day.
“Did you hear, Albus Potter is gay?”
“Al Potter is gay.”
“Potter’s got the hots for boys. No not James, Al.”
“Albus Severus, gay? Won’t believe it till’ it’s in the Profit.”
“Albus and Scorpius have shagged, the people who betted on November split 100 Galleons. Step right up, 25 Galleons for all four.”
“I told you.”
“What?! No way. I knew it.”
“I don’t know what it was, and he always seemed so straight and macho, but something about him just always screamed gay.”
“The gaydar was right, for once.”
“Did you hear? What do you think their fathers will say? I wonder if they know.”
“No wonder he slept with all those girls.”
“Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy is officially canon people!”
People whispered around all day. By the next day there was an article in Draco and Dormiens and two days after one in the Profit, the day after that there were letters from both Mr. Malfoy, and Mr. Potter.
“Have you opened yours yet?” Albus asks Scorpius.
“No. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to cry at his homophobic response.
Draco’s response was the complete opposite of homophobic, so instead of tears of sadness, Scorpius is crying from embarrassment.
He reads the awful letter for the second time. Oh crucio me, Scorpius thinks.
Scorpius! Your mother and I are so happy for you. We were a little sad that we had to hear from the Profit, but we are glad none-the-less.
We know you’re responsible, and very caring. Albus is a very lucky boy, and so are you.
I know it’s hard to believe, but I had a small feeling about it since you were small. When you were very young, before your conscious memory, you used to wear your mother’s heels and swoon at the boys in Witch Weekly. You were probably only five or six.
I assume you are bi-sexual, because all you could talk about last summer was Taya Thomas, and how pretty she was and all that. You even had stalker pictures of her. Oh, you have quite the personality my boy!
I know however, that at one point you had a small crush on Hauser Finnegan. I know, I know. I read your diary and I’m horribly sorry for it, I just had to know. We never mentioned homosexuality enough to you, and we wanted to make sure you weren’t too caught up in your thoughts and worried you were abnormal. I’m horribly sorry for disrespecting that privacy, but you’re my only son and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t freaking out.
Going along with that fact, I just want to know that you are protected and happy. As such I’ve sent you a few pamphlets, since homosexual sex is not my area of expertise, and your mother and I have read through all of them.
Make sure you are staying safe, don’t want you at Mungo’s for carelessness. And be sure to bring Albus home for a family dinner.
Lots and lots of love for your courage,
Scorpius can’t possibly believe, he doesn’t want to believe. He’s starting to think a homophobic answer would have been better. Pamphlets? Fucking pamphlets. God, his father couldn’t have said anything more embarrassing. Even more embarrassing, he read through them. He read through them. He’d also read his journal, and mentioned his horribly embarrassing childhood of heels and Witch Weekly boys.
Scorpius has no idea that at this moment, that Albus is going through something much harder.
Albus, I’m disappointed in you.
Your mother doesn’t want to speak to me until I’ve changed my mind, but I really think it’s for the best that you see someone to help you sort out your issues. I understand that you love this- boy - but I don’t see it natural.
We’ll get you help, we can find someone over the holidays. It’ll be fine, and we’ll have you back to normal before you get back at Hogwarts.
And stay away from that Malfoy boy!
Albus bursts out into tears. He knows it was just a complete accident, and that he would never do it again. But the fact is that he never expected his accepting, caring, loving, father to have this sort of reaction. Harry Potter is supposed to be the nicest man in the world.
Great, now he’s owned up to both his first and middle name. Yet he has failed his last name.
“I can’t go back there now.” Albus whispers, through deep sobs.
“Al? Are you in here?”
“Rose. What are you doing in the boys lavatory?” Albus asks, trying to hide his crying.
It doesn’t work, and Rose slips under the door and takes the letter. She reads through it, and looks at Albus with a sad look. “I’m so sorry.” She says. “You can come stay with me.” She suggests.
“Yes, please. But what about Uncle Ron?”
“You know I tell my parents everything. He knew as soon as it was in Draco and Dormiens.” Rose says.
“Wait, he wouldn’t of told him?” Albus asks.
“Dad likes gossip, but he would keep a secret for anyone he cares for. He’s a little unsettled about the fact that Scorp is a Malfoy, but he doesn’t mind the fact that he’s a boy.”
“But that’s the thing! I’m not in love with Scorpius. I didn’t know what I was doing—it, it was an accident.”
“How do you sleep with someone by accident?” Rose asks, confused.
“Ok, so you don’t know this because you’re a virgin, but it can happen very easily.”
“Really.” Rose says, making sure to clarify it as a rhetorical question.
“It can be a combination of things, or just one small thing.” Albus says.
Albus is thinking about it now and, he really doesn’t like Scorpius like that. The whole thing was an accident. But now he’s asking himself the same question as Rose. How do those kinds of accidents happen?
It’s not like Scorpius started it, Albus did. But why? He tries to remember what he was feeling in those milliseconds before that kiss.
“What was I thinking. Now my dad hates me!” Albus cries out to Rose, then sobs more into her shoulder.
“Albus, it isn’t your fault. In all fairness it’s Edmund’s, but don’t be mad at him. He feels horrible.”
A few minutes later, Scorpius comes in the same lavatory, and doesn’t even hear the sobbing. He goes into a random stall, and starts pounding on the walls of it whilst whining and yelling: “why?!”
“Scorpius?” Albus asks, his voice making a small sob.
“Albus?” Scorpius asks, in a horribly comical voice.
They both exit their stalls, and Rose slides to the corner of the room. She watches as the boys switch letters and read through each others.
Albus chuckles, and the tears start to dry. Scorpius frowns, and draws Albus into his arms (even though Scorpius is still mad at him for screwing him over. Literally).
“Thanks,” Albus says, with a blocked up nose.
“No problem.” Scorpius says, “For what?”
“For cracking me up with your dad’s letter.”
“Oh, that silly thing? How embarrassing.” Scorpius says, then hands off the letter reluctantly to Rose, who five seconds later starts laughing her head off.
“Your dad sent you pamphlets?” She asks, on the ground from boisterous laughter. “Hilarious.”
“Yeah, hilarious.” Scorpius replies sarcastically. “Don’t look at them,” He adds, he hasn’t even, and he doesn’t want to.
“Stupid bloody dad!” Scorpius cries randomly. “He was so subtle.” He mutters sarcastically. He starts collapsing and weirdly hyperventilating.
“Scorpius? Are you having a seizure or an aneurysm?” Rose asks quickly, freaked out. “We need Edmund! He’s the future healer.” Rose cries, starting to run out.
“Rose I’m fine.” Scorpius calls after, getting up.
“Phewf, I was gonna’ have to get the pamphlets out.”
“Don’t you dare.” Scorpius growls, rolling his eyes and maintaining a stare at the same time.
“How do you do that?”
“By being pissed off Albus, by being pissed off. So you both deserve it.”
“I’m sorry for screwing you over!” Albus blurts out. Scorpius stops glaring immediately and nods, then leaves.
“I think that was Scorpius for, ‘apology not accepted.’”
“I know Rose. I know.”
“Woah, don’t get your knickers in a twist. You’re really pissy today aren’t you?”
“Well, then I’ll let you be pissy by yourself. Goodbye.” Rose says, then leaves Albus behind, standing alone in the boys lavatory.
Author’s Note: Okay, so I know I know, Harry has an un-positive reaction. I was just tired of having all four of their parents having these amazing reactions and it being tough for no one, and also I don’t think I’ve ever read a Next Gen Scorbus where Harry isn’t as accepting as Draco, who was maybe a little too accepting. Pamphlets? Really Draco? But anyway, I occasionally don’t want life to be perfect for my Al and Scorpius, because then it’s unrealistic. As you might have noticed, I made sure to have Ginny be accepting, as read in Harry’s letter to Albus.
So, Chapter 4 done already? Wow this is going so fast. If I keep writing like this, I might actually have to change this from a Short Story to a Novella. But I’ll try to keep it under 17,000 words. Anyways, hopefully I’ll see you next chapter, and wherever in the world you are I wish you a fabulous day!
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