Chapter 12: Consequences.
I woke up with the worst headache I’d had in my life. I groaned as most of the events of last night resurfaced. I picked up my wand changing into my grey Hogwarts hoodie and some jeans before going over to the mirror. I looked horrid. My nose was swollen and red, and both my eyes were black. I waved my wand muttering a healing spell. Nothing happened. I cursed my mother knowing it was her that did this.
Slowly I made my way towards the dining room. At the end of my long table, mother sat eating her crumpets as always. “Good morning Draco.” She acknowledged me sharply.
“Not really.” I muttered back grumpily.
“Well whose fault is that? You really did hurt Hermione with what you said Draco and today I expect you to apologise to every single guest at that party.” Again she was speaking sharply.
“Yes mother.” I replied shortly. “Then will you heal this stupid bruise?” She chuckled.
“No, you completely embarrassed me last night, not to mention you ruined Violet’s first New Year’s with her daughter, so you can let it heal naturally as a reminder of your pure spite last night.” I nodded begrudgingly at my mother.
“I’ll go and visit the Weasley’s first mother and I am truly sorry for my actions.” I groaned as I got up my hangover hitting me full force. Mother just nodded in response and watched me leave the room.
I apparated straight to the Weasley’s from the manor. Soon enough I was wincing at the sound of my fist knocking on the door. It didn’t take long for the door to be pulled open and I came face to face with both Weasley twins who instantly roared with laughter.
“That’s our Hermione” Said Fred,
“Throws quite the punch.” Added George. Laughing they ushered me in and laughter even harder at my scrunched up face at the lights and all the noise. They led me through to a kitchen and we found all the guests from last night sat down finishing breakfast.
“Sorry to intrude Mrs Weasley.” I said, silently begging for a silent dark room to sleep in.
“That’s okay dear we were pretty much done, can I get you anything?” Molly asked sending the plates to the washing up as the rest of the family, including Mr Weasley were chuckling at the state of my face.
“No thank you, I actually only came to apologise for my appalling behaviour last night and I’m sorry if I ruined New Year’s for you.” I replied doing my best to ignore the sensation of being smacked in the face with a baseball bat. Potter was the first to speak.
“You were awfully drunk Malfoy and what you said was downright dreadful, but I’d say Mione did quite a good job of punishing you.” I nodded silently thanking him as the rest of the family nodded in agreement. “What has Hermione done to you Malfoy?” Weaslette laughing along with Fred and George.
“What do you mean? I think it’s quite clear what she did to me!” I replied grumpily gesturing towards my heavily bruised face. Again Weaslette just laughed.
“I meant the fact that you’re apologising.” I shuffled awkwardly looking towards the ground.
“Oh, um well, actually it was more my mother.” I replied concentrating on not revealing to anyone my true feelings for Hermione. Potter and the others laughed before getting up and shuffling out and leaving me in the room with Weaslette, clearly they thought she should handle this one. I stared at them in utter confusion. How on earth could they find all of this amusing? I looked across at Weaslette, who was waiting in silence for everyone to leave.
Once the room was silent she opened her mouth. “Your mother may have made you come and apologise but she never made you be sincere.” She said simply looking deep into my eyes, as if trying to see into my soul. I did my best to remain cold in the eyes but I got the feeling that she knew it was a mask. “She really has changed you, Malfoy. I mean to look at, you have the same cold exterior but there’s something about you that really has changed.” She said eyeing me continuously.
“I ‘m exactly the same.” I snapped coldly, to which she chuckled.
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you had a bit of a thing for our Hermione.” She replied and smirked when I showed the slightest bit of shock on my face. “Thought so.” She muttered, more to herself than me.
“Yeah well I’ve royally messed it up now so she won’t want to talk to me again.” I muttered sadly, Ginny took a step forward and awkwardly patted me on the back.
“If I were you I’d do something that I’m not entirely sure you’re capable of.” I looked at her inquisitively.
“And what’s that?” I asked quietly.
“Grovel” she replied simply before leaving me to stand alone in the burrow’s kitchen. I sighed realising how right she was and turned on the spot apparating from the house and off the gates of Zabini manor.
As I walked up the gravelled path I saw the door open and Violet Zabini stepped outside. She gave me a cold glare before waiting for me to reach her. “I take it your mother sent you?” She asked frostily.
“She did but I would have come anyway. I am truly sorry for my actions last night Violet. It was wrong of me and very disrespectful, I really don’t know how I can show you how sorry I really am.” I gushed knowing that if I paused she would stop me. Her eyes shifted from anger to pity and then back to anger in a matter of seconds. I was beginning to feel sick with all the moving and apologising, my head was beginning to spin again.
“Draco, you are like a second son to me and while I don’t approve of my daughter’s response to you last night,” she gestured towards my face, “I can honestly say I’ve never been more disappointed with you in my life.” I recoiled slightly before covering it and blanking my features once more. I also considered Violet as a second mother to me, so to hear that she was disappointed was far worse than any anger she could have ever thrown at me.
“Never have I been more repulsed by your actions and I’m afraid to say that you are no longer welcome in this house as you once were. You ruined my families first ever New Years together and you completely embarrassed both my daughter and her boyfriend. It appeared to everyone that you were purposefully trying to rip them apart after she had just found happiness Draco.” I took all off what she said in slowly nodding, had I really tried to rip them apart?
“I’m so sorry Violet, before you kick me off your property please let me apologise to Blaise also.” I said looking at her stern eyes which softened slightly.
“Yes you may, he is in his room, but then you must go, and while your mother is always welcome I ask you not to return until Hermione can promise me that everything has been sorted.” I nodded gravely and stepped into the house before jogging up the stairs and towards Blaise’s room. Just as I raised my hand to knock on the door, Blaise stepped out. He froze when he saw me and his eyes flickered quickly to Hermione’s closed door before he fixed me with a cold glare.
“What do you want?” he snapped harshly, I leant against the wall and rubbed my now pounding head.
“Blaise, mate, c’mon I know what I did was REALLY stupid but don’t hate me. You’re the only real friend I’ve got I know your bonding with Hermione and that I hurt her a lot last night but come on. I was drunk and made a stupid mistake but look at what she did to me! Mother even cursed me to make sure it has to heal the muggle way so I’ll look like this for weeks! Everyone will be reminded that I got beat up by a girl for WEEKS and the last thing I need is you hating me too. I came to apologise for what I did and ask you to forgive me.” Blaise scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“There you go again making it all about you. Guess what Draco? It’s not all about you! I’m the one who was awake all night feeling my sister’s emotions and being able to do nothing about them! She’s locked herself in her room ever since Drayton left. She’s a complete and utter wreck and it’s all your fault! So yes I do hate you right now, I hate you for never letting her be happy, I hate you for getting drunk, I hate you for ruining New Years and I hate you for being so damn selfish all the time.” Blaise yelled and I stepped away with him. He had been my best friend since birth (even if we couldn’t hang out much before the war) and I had never seen him as angry as he was right now.
“Blaise… please don’t do this” I begged, something which, as a Malfoy, I’d never done before. He gaze was still ice cold as he glared at me.
“Just go Draco, you’re not wanted here. You can attempt to talk to Hermione on the train back and that is when you’ll see Scorpius again and until then I don’t even want to catch wind of you trying to contact a single member of my family understood?” Now it was my turn to glare.
“No, not understood. You can’t just keep my son away from me!” I yelled back and stepped closer until we were nose to nose.
“If you were truly sorry you would have accepted this but once again it’s all fake!” He hissed in my face.
“I am sorry but my son is the only perfect thing I have in this world and I won’t allow you to keep him from me!” I hissed back, we both whirled around as we heard a door open and sure enough I came face to face with Hermione.
“Mi you came out!” Blaise said his voice suddenly soft and caring. Hermione seemed to ignore his comment and stepped closer to me her eyes alight with fury.
“Blaise may not have the right to keep Scorpius from you but I do and everything Blaise just said is exactly what I would have said, he’s relaying my message as I told him to via the note I stuck to his door this morning.” She spat with every ounce of venom she could.
Her eyes were red and puffy, clearly she had been crying for a long time. Her Knuckles were purple but it didn’t look like she cared and her glamour charm that was normally constant had broken. I realised how much I must have hurt her for her magic to fail.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry Hermione. I was drunk and I never meant a word of it, if I could take it back I would but please I ask for your forgiveness. I know I hurt you and I am so so so sorry, but please don’t take my son away.” I was almost whispering by the time I finished and I looked up into her eyes, which for the smallest of seconds showed nothing but hurt before flashing with fury. I was having De Ja vu at this second about the conversation we had mere months ago and remembering made me realise exactly what she would say next.
“I’ve said this to you before and I’ll say it again. Sorry isn’t good enough Draco, sorry doesn’t fix anything, not now, so get the hell out of our house and don’t come back. I’ll give you Scorpius on the train. Goodbye.” And with that she turned swiftly on her heal and locked her bedroom door behind her. My heart broke a little knowing that my jealousy had ruined everything for me and that I had no chance of her loving me now. If sorry wasn’t good enough then I really didn’t know what to do.
“Off you go then.” Blaise hissed triumphantly waving his arm towards the stairs. I sighed and made my way towards the stairs noting that Blaise was following me. I turned around giving him a harsh glare.
“So much for never letting a girl get between us.” I hissed reminding him of our promise when we started school.
“It’s a whole different ball game when that girl is my sister.” He replied simply and I saw for the frist time his true protectiveness as a brother, albeit a new one and for once I accepted that currently, my best friend hated me, I couldn’t see my son and the girl I loved was slowly crushing my heart. Who said love was a good thing again? I looked down at the floor and made my way out of the Zabini manor and to the gates. Blaise followed me to the gates and before stopping.
“I thought you would have learnt in third year that my sister throws a decent punch.” He smirked an incredibly spiteful smirk. I ignored him and began walking home. I was not in any state to apparate again since I knew that if I did I would definitely throw up.
Once I was home I stomped up the stairs and threw myself on to my bed being sure that my head was to one side so I didn’t harm my already bruised and broken face any further. After a few moments my mother walked into my bedroom and shut the door quietly. I didn’t even have to look to know it was her but I pulled my arm up to my face to hide the slight tears rolling down my cheeks. I hated crying it made me feel like the weakest man alive.
I felt my mother sit gracefully on the edge of the bed and slowly she pulled my arm away from my face. “What happened?” She asked carefully, her voice barely above a whisper.
“The Weasley’s were okay, in fact they seemed to find it funny but the Zabini’s, they were a whole different kettle of fish.” I choked out. Mother sighed gently and pulled my face towards her own and I saw the pity in her silver eyes.
“You must have known they would be, emotions were high as it was with their first holiday together. So what did they say?” she asked smoothly before releasing my face from her long fingers.
“Where shall I start? Violet’s never been more disappointed in me, Blaise literally hates me, Hermione can’t even stand to look at me. I’m not allowed to see Scorpius until we go back to school in two weeks and I am the only person to have ever been forbidden from going to Zabini manor.” I said in a rush letting the tears fall as my heart broke further.
“Maybe you should’ve explained that you were jealous because you love Hermione. It melts a girls heart to know they are loved.” Mother replied simply, I stopped and stared at her.
“W…what are you on about?” I asked slowly unsure of how she knew.
“I’m your mother Draco of course I know and besides you basically told me last night.” I sighed again wishing I had never gotten drunk. “I think we’re past the point of that being helpful.” I muttered quietly. “I really have screwed things up. Maybe I should just leave everyone alone.” I choked out again feeling sick and running to the bathroom.
“Maybe it’ll be the best not just for her but for you too.” Mother replied entering the bathroom. “I advise you get some sleep and I’ll get the house elf to bring you a potion in an hour to help.” She said turning to leave. I watched her go and leant against my bathtub leaning my head back against it. I was just toxic to everyone’s lives. Nobody needed me, not really, in fact it might just be easier if I was gone completely.
It’s all your fault…you’re not wanted… Sorry isn’t good enough.
The short phrases were running through my head again and again making me so dizzy that my vision blurred. Once it came back into focus I looked down at my arm and the bandage that covered what was left of the last time I had hated myself this much. The last time though I needed to get rid of the mark that was taunting me. I slowly began to unravel the bandage and the blood began pouring out. Mother had told me not to undo this for a long while but I needed to feel something and pain was the only thing I deserved to feel.
I watched as the blood began to ooze across my jeans and dripped onto the floor. Finally I saw the great slice missing from my arm and was surprised to find that I was expecting it to be unhealed, as it was. Slowly I smashed a glass dish that was sat on the side of the tub and brought the shard to my arm before digging it in deeply and dragging it along causing the blood to spurt, relishing in the pain that I deserved. It wasn’t long before I began to feel faint, my eyes began to close and I smiled slightly knowing that I was giving everyone what they wanted. A life without me…
Author’s note: Thank you, sorry for the sensitivity of this chapter I thought I would really bring to light Draco’s issue with forgiving himself and hurting himself as it has only ever been mentioned before.
“Mistress come quick! Master Malfoy is dead!” Tinky the house elf wailed grabbing Narcissa’s hand and pulling her towards the terrible scene. Everything went in slow motion for Narcissa as she sprinted towards the bathroom where her son lay…
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