Chapter 1 : PROLOGUE
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This story isn't meant to be "dark," but it is meant to be honest. If serious topics make you uncomfortable, I urge you not to read.
"It's not yours."
He slowly blew out a long breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. As he sat on the steps with his elbows on his knees, he brought his hands to his face and rubbed the surface as if it would wake him from the dream he wished he was having.
“Are you sure?” he asked, grey eyes stationed on the ground beneath them, cars speeding and honking, watching tiny ants bustle and rush between the cracks.
They said nothing for a while. He continued to stare at the ground. His eyes followed one ant in particular, scuttling in the exact opposite direction the colony was and into the street. The ant was going to get run over– of that, Sirius was sure. And he couldn’t help but feel as though he were stuck in the same situation; uncaring and doomed to crack under the pressure of being trampled by uncaring passengers.
He cleared his throat awkwardly, hands clasped tightly together. “How far along are you?”
Silence consumed them once again.
Was he relieved or disappointed? He couldn’t tell. He was only nineteen– he was nowhere near ready to become a father; but still there was an anxious nagging in the back of his skull that Marlene McKinnon was lying, that it really was his kid.
But she wouldn’t do that, right? She wouldn’t lie about something as damning as this, would she? It was Marlene for Christ’s sake. She was conniving, yes, but to this extent? No way.
Marlene quietly observed Sirius as he clenched his eyes shut and shook his head ever so slightly. She tried to suppress the guilt flooding her body as a product of her blatant dishonesty– she never intended for things to go this far. But Tim couldn’t find out about the nights Marlene spent with Sirius. If he found out, surely he’d leave her.
Plus, Sirius Black as a father? Disastrous. He was reckless and irresponsible. He lived for the thrill of life, pushed the boundaries of his mortality, and committed himself to nothing. There was no way he’d be able to raise a child– at least not at that particular moment. Sirius wasn’t a good influence, and Marlene wanted only the best for her child. At least that’s what she told herself.
There was a part of her, though, that was convinced this was her way of saving him. She was, in her mind, sparing Sirius from a life of misery and regret. She wanted him to live a happy, carefree life as long as he possibly could.
“Look, I just thought you deserved to know,” Marlene said. She could feel an onslaught of tears form in her eyes and a pressure in her chest, so clearing her throat, she stood.
“I should probably go home to Tim, so… Take care, Sirius.”
He said nothing as she left him there, sitting on the pavement, staring into space.
It’s not yours.
It’s not yours.
It’s not yours.
But what if it was? What if Sirius Black was the father? The thought made him sick to his stomach.
God, he needed a cigarette.
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