Chapter 11 : Forbidden
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She had barely gotten any sleep the night before and it was finally catching up on her, making her more moody than normal, a tired Roxanne was most certainly not a happy or generally nice Roxanne.
Roxanne didn’t stay at Jason’s for as long as she wanted to the night before, although it was nice that she had someone who she could talk to, someone who wouldn’t judge her and she wished that she could have stayed longer with him. Roxanne had to go home though; she needed to see if there had been any news on James.
There hadn’t been.
Roxanne had arrived home to find darkness and the same emptiness that was beginning to settle in her body, and it had caused her to have a fitful sleep. Not only was she worrying about where her cousin had gotten to, she was also worrying about how Jason was after his run in with his mother.
It was too much for her to turn off her brain to get enough sleep, which she was now regretting, she hoped that this wouldn’t continue, she needed her rest and to be on top form for her upcoming matches. Using a sleeping potion was out of the question entirely, even though it wouldn’t show up as anything bad on the tests that the players sometimes went through, to make sure no liquid luck or other ‘banned’ potions were in their systems, it still made her feel uneasy. The only potions she would allow herself to have when she was playing in big matches, were the ones that were given to her by the Healers hired by her team, that way if they needed to be checked it would come down to them. So that meant that she would have to just switch her brain off some other way.
Her tiredness was proving to be a problem when she shot a Bludger in entirely the wrong direction and nearly hit Violet, who was standing at the edge of the pitch and talking to their Captain Thomas Harrison. Roxanne flew down to Violet quickly, who was picking herself up from the floor and was dusting herself off, stumbling over her words as she tried to apologise to Violet.
Violet held up a hand herself to stop Roxanne and gave her a warm smile, “its fine, Roxanne. I’m alright.”
“You need to keep your head in the game, Weasley.” Thomas stated.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Roxanne stated, pushing the hair, which had fallen out of the ponytail, out of her face. “I’ll do better, I promise.”
“Make sure you do,” Thomas told her, a hard determined look on his face. He was a competitive player and liked to make sure that his players were playing to their best potential, if he knew she wasn’t getting much sleep he wouldn’t be too happy. “Now that you’re down here, Weasley, Coach wants to see you.”
Roxanne suppressed her groan, not knowing what on earth the coach would want to see her about, hoping that it wasn’t something too bad, like her being put on the bench because of her performance in the practices.
Violet gave her a comforting smile and Roxanne took in her appearance for the first time that day, she looked just as tired as Roxanne knew she looked herself. “Are you alright, Violet?”
Violet nodded, “I’ll talk to you about it later, Roxanne. You don’t want to keep him waiting.”
Roxanne wasn’t satisfied with her answer, but she knew she had to go and face whatever it was that was urgent enough for Gerald to let her go during a practice.
Not bothering to take her practice uniform off, she walked straight through the doors that would lead to the Coach’s office, walking up the few flights of stairs as she tried to think about what it was that he could possibly want to talk to her about.
Knocking on the door before opening it, she saw that Gerald was leaning on his desk and scribbling on some parchment with a quill in his hand. He glanced up as she entered and he nodded at the spot opposite him for her to take a seat.
“Roxanne, take a seat, please.”
Roxanne walked over to the empty seat opposite Gerald, after closing the door behind her, sitting down and eyeing him wearily. He scribbled for a few more moments before he looked up at her and put the quill down. His face didn’t give any indication away as to what the talk would be about, Roxanne felt herself squirming slightly with unease.
“You’re probably wondering why I have asked you to come and see me. And I must admit that it’s for a serious reason.” He leant forwards, elbows on the desk in front of him as he regarded her. “There have been whispers that you’ve been seen with Jason Turner.”
Roxanne felt her stomach drop, as though she had fallen from a great height and was heading towards the cold hard ground. She tried to keep the guilt off of her face, not wanting it to be an admission that she had done anything of the sort, her father had always taught her to not admit to anything unless there was solid and concrete evidence of any wrong doing.
Gerald was watching her carefully and Roxanne knew that she had to say something; otherwise he would take her silence as an admission of wrong doing.
“I saw him at the meeting,” Roxanne stated, trying to keep her voice level and nonchalant. “Other than that the only times I’ve spotted him, is if he’s turned up to the places that I’ve been at.”
It wasn’t a total lie; those had been the main times that she had seen him. She wasn’t sure if Gerald believed her and Roxanne was quickly running a list of names through her head of who might have seen her with Jason. Violet and Shawn quickly popped to her head but she dismissed those entirely, she trusted them to not say anything that would get her into trouble.
“You do know that there’s a ban for a reason, Roxanne.” Gerald told her, she knew this; it was information that was drilled into them from the start of their contracts. “We don’t have this rule in place for our own benefit. There are repercussions to being seen with The Wasps. The lawsuits from the fighting off of the pitch were becoming too high and too much blood has been shed between the teams for this ban to not be in place. I don’t want to have to punish you if you’re seen with him.”
Roxanne nodded, not knowing what to say, not sure how she could even respond to that.
“I’m well aware of that, sir.” Roxanne told him, “But these whispers are merely just whispers.”
“You’re a smart girl, Roxanne.” Gerald told her, “One of the best players on this team, and I would hate for anything to get jeopardised over something like this.”
Roxanne nodded, “I understand.”
Gerald gave her a smile, before looking down at his watch. “I better let you get back down to practice, you still have a few more hours left and Thomas won’t be happy if I keep you up here too long.”
Standing up Roxanne left the room, closing the door behind her and walking briskly down the corridor and a safe distance away from Gerald’s office before she let herself react to what had just happened.
Her practice had lasted for a long longer than she expected it too, Thomas had wanted to run some plays by them in the meeting room, using a large board and charming it so that coloured dots representing each player zoomed across it as he spoke, Roxanne and Jerome were represented by the colour yellow, which managed to piss Roxanne off. Actually, the thing that pissed Roxanne off was one of the other player’s comments on how it looked like Roxanne and Jerome were bees, or wasps. It was too close to home after the conversation that Gerald had had with her and Roxanne was already moody due to her lack of sleep, it wasn’t her fault that she happened to throw her bottle of water at him, it also wasn’t her fault that she had excellent aim so hit him squarely in the back of the head.
The only regret she had was that she had been caught, so was reprimanded and told to put five galleons in the ‘unnecessary violence’ jar as she left the room. It was a jar that her coach had thought up; to make sure that the team would get along with each other otherwise they would be fined. Roxanne didn’t mind as the satisfaction as the bottle of water clunked with his head was worth paying five galleons, that and the money went to charity once it was filled up.
Roxanne wondered if the coach was going to put a jar next to the ‘unnecessary violence’ and ‘swearing at the coach’ jars, for ‘not staying away from the Wasps’. If that was the punishment she would owe the jar a lot of money, probably single-handedly fill it up herself. Especially right now, she was doing something unbelievably stupid, something that her coach would not be happy with if he found out about it.
Roxanne sighed as she ran her hand through her curly hair, staring at the letter in her hands, rereading the words over and over again. She was a coward; there was no two ways about it. A complete and utter coward. She had been staring at it for quite some time, as she deliberated whether or not she should send it.
“Fuck it,” She growled at herself as she folded the letter up and wrote Jason’s address on it and gave it to her owl, before she had a chance to chicken out again. She regretted her decision as soon as the owl began flying away, wanting to yell out into the night to call it back.
Why did she think that it would be a good idea to send that a letter to Jason? Why didn’t she just stop all contact with him, it would be the safest option for her and her career.
She ran a hand over her face as she glanced at the clock, it was nearing one in the morning and Jason had a match tomorrow, so she was either going to be waking him up, or he won’t even get the letter. Why did she insist on wishing him good luck for his match?
She grabbed for the wine glass on her table and drank some of the contents as she paced nervously, the words of her coach playing through her head from their earlier talk. A talk that had made her realise why some of the team had been staring at her strangely, they must have heard these ‘whispers’ too.
“This is so stupid,” she grumbled, scolding herself as she thought about how much trouble she could be in for sending something as small as a letter. She should have stopped herself, she shouldn’t have given in. She was at least thankful that if the letter was intercepted, it wouldn’t be obvious that it was her that had been the sender.
She finished the glass of wine and took the glass to the kitchen so that she could put the empty glass on the side, she didn’t want to drink anymore, drinking and thinking about Jason wasn’t a good mix at all, it made her do silly things. The only good thing was that it had been keeping her mind off of James.
The thought of James caused a pang in her chest and she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
She didn’t want to think about James.
Where was he?
Roxanne kept herself hidden in the stands, keeping her hair up and her sunglasses on as she hung around the back. She had used a charm on her hair to change the colour to blonde, instead of the usual brown, and make it straight, so that it fell to the middle of her back. It was enough that no one would be able to instantly recognise her and if someone looked at her too much she would be able to run off quickly. Thankfully, so far no one had paid any attention to her and if someone glanced her way she would duck her head and look at her hand until they either looked away or walked off.
She was being an idiot again; no good was going to come from being at this match. It could even be more trouble than it was worth, yet she couldn’t force herself to leave. She wanted to see Jason; she was like a love struck teenager. She tried to tell herself that she wanted to make sure that he was alright, he didn’t reply to her letter last night and she was just making sure that she was fine. A flimsy excuse that she would never be able to use if her coach called her to his office again, it was almost enough to make her leave. That was until the Commentator announced the players for the teams and the stadium erupted around her and she felt no option but to stay to watch at least some of the match.
Roxanne couldn’t take her eyes off of Jason as he flew around the pitch, wishing that she could get closer to the edge of the stadium so she was able to get a better view of him. She was beginning to get a bit worried about him; she couldn’t help but notice that Jason seemed extremely angry. He’s shoulders seemed tense and he was hitting the Bludger’s with so much force and power, that the sound echoed around the stands without the help of magic to echo the sounds.
Something had happened to make him this angry and she wasn’t sure what it was, players were actually beginning to avoid flying too near him in case they got in the way of his wrath. Is this why he didn’t reply to her? Had she woken him up with her stupid letter and now he was pissed off about it?
Roxanne tried to shake that thought away, he wouldn’t be this pissed off about it, it’s not like she was trying to jeopardise him in any way. Maybe he had had a meeting about the whispers that her own coach had heard and was told to stay away from her?
Even if that had been true, it wouldn’t warrant a reaction this angry or this bad. She kept her eyes on Jason as he zoomed across the pitch in an effort to hit a Bludger, purposely seeking it out as something to hit.
“And... I can’t believe it!” The announcer yelled as Roxanne and the other spectators gasped in surprise. “Turner has managed to crack the Bludger and his bat in half.”
Roxanne’s eyes didn’t leave Jason’s figure, watching as he threw the handle of what used to be his bat to the ground, before flying down to grab another bat. If anything he seemed more pissed off, but that might be the fact that he was cradling his hand as though it was paining him, roaring something at the sky in anger.
Roxanne didn’t understand what had upset him so much. Something must have happened to make him this angry. If he didn’t calm himself down he was going to do something that would cause him to commit a foul or get sent off of the pitch.
She wanted to find him, she wanted to hug him and find out what it was that had made him react this way, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t be seen around him or near him. She couldn’t be here.
Moving out of the stands as the crowd yelled around her, she ran a hand over her face. She never wanted to see Jason that angry again and it was killing her that there was no way she could do anything to make it better for him.
“Can you believe that he broke the Bludger and his bat?” She heard a spectator say to his friend as she passed them, keeping her head ducked down, they both ignored her though.
“I know, I’ve never heard of someone being able to do that.” The girl replied, shaking her head in shock.
“It doesn’t surprise me though, especially with the story that came out this morning in the Prophet. I wouldn’t be happy either.”
Roxanne stopped at their words and turned around to look at them and demand to know what was going on, but they had already left.
There was a story in the paper about Jason? She hadn’t had the time to check the papers this morning and her stomach was twisting very unpleasantly. Had they finally been caught? Were they in the papers? Was Roxanne about to get in shitloads of trouble because of it?
Setting off at as much of a run as she could manage when moving around the other spectators, Roxanne made it to a safe place to apparate, practically deserted as everyone was watching the match and disapparated to her flat.
She walked into the flat, taking off her sunglasses as she entered, her mind still racing with thoughts of Jason and his behaviour and whether she had something incriminating about her said. She looked around for a sign of the owl that delivered the morning paper, seeing that it was perched on her open window.
Roxanne took the paper off of the owl and deposited a few Knuts into its pouch, before walking over to the sofa as she unfolded the paper feeling a nervous sick feeling going through her.
She had taken to ordering the paper ever since James had gone missing, in case there was any news that she had missed about him. But there hadn’t been any mention in any of the papers about James’s disappearance and she thought that it was probably her Uncle Harry’s doing that nothing had been said; her Uncle Harry respected his family’s privacy too much.
However as she read the front page, she knew exactly why Jason was so angry.
In the top right hand corner was a small picture of the woman Roxanne had seen Jason with at the restaurant, who she now knew to be his mother. Above her picture was the headline, ‘My life with a famous Quidditch player, and the real reason I had to leave,’ the small print read that the full story would be covered on pages five through to eight and would included never before seen pictures of Jason Turners childhood.
No wonder he had broken the Bludger, his bat and possibly his own hand. Roxanne was sure she would have done the same damage if a member of her family had sold a story about her.
A/N Jason's mother is up to something! And Jason and Roxanne are beginning to get found out, this can't be boding well for them both. Especially with Roxanne acting like a lovestruck teenager, even though she tried not to be at the beginning of this story. Jason will always get under the skin. :D
Let me know what you think! :D
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by magical words