Just for future reference, guys, if you want to hide somewhere do not hide in the girl’s bathroom on the first floor. Ten minutes in there and you’ll consider trying to flush yourself down the loo or drown yourself in the bath tub.
You’re probably wondering why I’m hiding in there for the first place and that can be explained pretty plain and simple in one word.
It was the end of the day which meant it was time for my well dreaded quidditch practice with Potter. Potter was still in a mood with me after I landed us all in Saturday detentions and I frankly did not want to deal with him right now.
“Oooh, Addison, you’re such rubbish company. Stop hiding!” Moaning Myrtle squealed with delight , rudely flying up into the stall I was standing in, floating in front of my face. “Come outside and play with me!”
Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and I had the sudden urge to hit my head against the wall repeatedly until I blacked out.
Ha. Doesn’t sound like half a bad idea.
“I’d rather drink toilet water then play with you.”
Myrtle gasped before letting out an ear wrenching cry. “That’s so rude!” She paused in between each word, getting louder and louder before bursting into tears and flying away.
I think I’d rather go play quidditch with Potter then have to deal with this.
“Zabini! I know you’re in here!”
Eh, speak of the devil.
I had a little spasm heart attack before climbing on top of the toilet and sitting on the back of it with my knees tucked it so he couldn’t see my feet. I stayed silent, biting my lip as I heard the door open and sound of thudded foot steps.
“Oh! Why hello there James,” Myrtle giggled loudly upon Potter entering, probably flying up close in and person in his face, trying to flirt. A lot of people said Myrtle had the hots for Harry Potter so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was obsessed with his offspring no matter how annoying they were.
There was a shuffle of feet before Potter awkwardly responded, “Erm, hello Myrtle. Have you seen Zabini in here?”
I prayed to Merlin that Myrtle would keep her fat, dead mouth shut and not blab to Potter about where I was.
“Oh, you mean Addison?” There was another weird giggle that she probably thought was cute. “Third stall to the left!” She responded probably grinning her stupid head off.
What a bitch.
I help my breath as I watched Potter’s feet walk the distance from the door to where I was, stopping in front of my stall. There was a rattle on the knob as he shook it.
“Stop being so difficult and open up,” He called over the door that separated us. “You’ve already wasted a good ten minutes of time we could have spent practicing.”
Oh the horror of wasting practice time.
I stayed quiet for a few minutes before Potter let out a grunt of frustration. He stopped rattling the door and I had almost thought he had given up.
Almost is the key word.
I was just about calm and relaxing when stupid Moaning Myrtle came out of literally nowhere and flew up in my face, screeching and yelling about how it was rude to leave Potter out there all by himself. She began to fly even closer, reaching her hands out and shoving them in me.
Not literally, of course, but I could feel a cold chill when her ghost arms rendered inside me.
“Merlin, you crazy bint!” I screamed, jumping off the toilet seat and right through Myrtle. I undid the door in a hurry and flung it open, nearly falling over as I ran to the complete opposite side of the bathroom.
I turned my head sharply to see Potter clutching his nose while giving me a dirty look.
Whoops! Looks like I just punched James Potter in the face with a stall door. That’s what the prick gets for going into the girl’s loo anyway.
“Don’t just stand there you moron. Run before crazy Myrtle kidnaps you, ties you up, and forces you to marry her.”
That comment sure sobered Potter up. With one hand clutching his hurt nose and the other one latching onto my forearm, he dragged me out of the bathroom letting the door thud loudly with Myrtle screaming behind us for James to come back and not leave her.
“Merlin, are you trying to give me a bruise?” I snarled, yanking my arm from his grip where he had a death like hold on me. “You should probably go back in there and calm your girlfriend down.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
“Ha ha, you’re so bloody funny, Zabini.” Potter groaned, removing his hand from his nose to glance at the blood on it. “Merlin, were you trying to break my nose?” He quoted me from a few minutes ago, mocking me as he touched his nose gingerly, groaning.
“No, I wasn’t, but it looks a hell of a lot better than it did before.” I smiled at him.
Potter gave me a dirty look before wiping his bloody hand on the front of his grey long sleeve shirt. “Bollocks,” He muttered underneath his breath. “Unlike you, normal people find me pretty damn attractive. I know you wouldn’t know much about how that feels considering you look like you were dropped on your face at birth.”
Potter and his sweet comments! He really does warm my heart.
“If I were you I would stop gloating that you’re a manwhore and instead keep walking.” I practically growled, scooping up my bag from the floor as I began to walk towards the dorms. It didn’t take long for Potter to catch up with me and stop me abruptly.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“The dorms, obviously.” I said in an obvious tone. “I knew you were pretty daft, Potter, but damn that bathroom door must have hit you pretty hard for you to be this daft and – “
“Oh, shut up!” He responded with a flick of annoyance in his voice. “It was a rhetoric question. I wasn’t looking for an answer because the correct one is you’re going the wrong way. We’re going to the quidditch pitch which is in the opposite direction.”
Potter made a point to grab me by the shoulder and spin me around in the opposite direction. What an arse.
“I’m not even in the correct clothes!” I protested.
“You can borrow.” He was short with his response as he grabbed me by the handle of my bag and began to drag me in the general direction of the quidditch pitch.
Hiding never gets you anywhere.
“These clothes reek like bottled up farts.” I made a face as I walked out of the dressing rooms wearing Lily’s extra quidditch slim pants and long sleeve shirt. Lily is obviously a tad (more like a lot) bit skinnier me and her stupid slim fit pants cling to my good ole’ thunder thighs.
Sigh. Why can’t girls, I don’t know, weigh an appropriate amount and not be a triple zero?!?!
Potter snorted from his spot leaning against the quidditch shack holding nothing but his own broom. “Smells just like the perfume you wear every day.” He said sarcastically.
I rolled my eyes, “The jokes on you Potter because I don’t wear perfume.” I grinned in triumph. Who needs perfume when you smell this amazing naturally?
“The explains why you reek of bottled up farts all the time. The mystery is solved! I’ll have to let the boys know in on the secret as soon as I get back to the dorms.”
“Oy, bite me Potter.”
Potter grinned sneakily, “Sorry, Addison, but I’m not into that kinky shit.”
I hate him.
“Stop flirting with me. I think I may puke.” Was my witty and slightly late response as I let the changing room door slam closed.
He snorted, “Please, don’t humor yourself. I have absolutely no interest in someone like you.”
Uh, ouch! I mean, I know I’m no Lauren Green but I’m pretty sure I’m not the ugliest bird on the block. I’m kind of pretty. I look like Beau and girls like Beaus…not that I want girls to find me attractive. BOYS! I want boys to find me attractive.
I’ll pay you.
“Good. The feelings mutual now are you going to attempt to teach me how to play quidditch or should I just kill myself now to spare you the time you’re going to waste.”
Potter smirked at my comment, nodding towards the pitch. “By the time I’m done with you you’re going to be a pro quidditch player!” He announced.
There was a few beats of silence of us both looking at us.
Potter threw me his broom which I spazzed out and instead karate chop kicked it away from me. He cringed, “Okay so maybe you won’t be a pro quidditch player but you’ll for sure no how to play!”
Even that’s a long shot.
“Am I dead yet?” I asked the same question I had been asking for the past twenty minutes. I was sure that I had lost an organ or two during the full out struggle I had with Potter over whether or not I had to use the shitty school broom he wanted me to use or his precious baby Candice.
In case you all didn’t know, Candice is Potter’s beloved broom. He apparently is highly protective of it and doesn’t like anyone else riding her. Ha. Thinks just get too kinky when people name their brooms. Fred’s broom’s name is Bertha because he claims that, “He’s never seen a prettier ugly girl in his life!”
Even though, y’know, the broom isn’t a girl but really a big chunk of stick.
My moron of a brother named his broom Bitch. Yes, I know, very classy. Am I right or am I right? He swears that his name is genius because now McGonagall can’t yell at him when he flies down the pitch like a lunatic screaming, “I’m riding my bitch! I’m riding my bitch!”
I think I may have suffocated him in the womb for him to be this stupid.
“No, you haven’t even gotten off the ground.” Potter snapped.
I sighed and opened my eyes. Atlas, Potter was in face – insert shudder of disgust – correct. For the last three minutes I have been standing on the ground with this rubbish piece of wood in between my legs, clutching onto fluffy backend, while cursing myself for letting Potter convince me to fly when in reality I hadn’t even gotten off the ground.
“Oh, bollocks.” I whined. “This is gonna be a lot harder than I expected.”
Potter snorted, “You can say that again.”
“Hey!” I gasped, unmounting the broom. “I’m not that bad.”
“Zabini, you’re holding the broom backwards.”
I looked down at my hands.
Aw, double bollocks.
Potter chuckled in victory before snatching the piece of shit death contraption from my hand. “I think starting right off with flying is a bit too challenging for your pea brain, Zabini.”
I glowered at him in anger, tempted to try to break his nose again. “Yea? And what do you think would be more suitable for someone with such a pea brain such as myself?”
I totally regret asking this question.
With an evil smile and a flick of his hair he said, “I’m thinking some laps around the lake – twenty of them.” Smoke spread out from his open mouth and seemed out of his ears. Potter’s brown hair caught on fire as he chuckled deeply, grinning devilishly at me with his vampire sharp teeth.
Haha just kidding. But seriously, what the hell?!
Problem #5: Running laps was created.
A/N: I know I've been gone for a bit but I love hearing what you guys think! Leave me a little review and tell me how you feel about the story and where it is going rn! :)