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Trixangela Snape: Year 1 by lexiatel
Chapter 1 : The Prologue
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9

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{The Prologue}

"Lily?" Severus Snape called from where he stood at the bottom of the stairs. He had just heard a crash echo from the floor above him.

No answer.

A loud CRACK! made Severus reach into his robes and pull out his wand.

"Master!" The high pitched voice of his house elf, Riffer, sounded behind him. "Hurry, Master! It's Mistress Lily! She has fallen!"

Knowing where she had been, Severus quickly apparated into the nursery.

"Lily!" Severus' voice abnormally matched Riffer's high tone when his eyes captured the scene.

She lay unconscious on the floor next to the crib. Her face pale, and her eyes closed. He knelt down to her, checking for any sign of life. With a sob, he closed his eyes, hugging her close to him. She was so heavy, so limp in his arms. Just like before.

Severus' sobs ceased suddenly. His eyes flew open. "Riffer!" he shouted harshly.

His summon was louder than needed. The elf was close behind him, in his own grief over the loss of his friendly mistress. "M-master?" the small creature managed to choke out.

"The boy!" Snape said urgently. "Bring Harry in here."

The elf bowed quickly. "Yes, Master, sir." he scuttled out to find the child.

"He'll bring you back." Snape tried to sound reassuring then as he spoke to his wife.

"Riffer has Harry Potter, Master," Riffer announced shortly after. He was leading the young child into the room by the hand. They stopped at Lily's feet.

"Boy." Snape addressed the scrawny kid. "Bring her back!"

"Mummy?" the boy looked startled now, unsure what to make of his still mother.

"Did you hear me?!" Snape nearly shouted.

Harry jumped. "Mummy is hurt?" he asked, a frightened look plastered on his face.

"She's dead! Now bring her back!' Severus was desperate. He stood on his knees, clasping the boy's shoulders with his hands, giving him a harsh shake. "Now!"

Harry whimpered with equal confusion and fright. "I don't know how!" he cried. "I don't know! Please, Sev'us! Please, don't!"

Snape searched his mind for the memory of what had happened two years ago. The boy, just barely over a year old, had brought Lily back. How, though? How had Harry brought life back into Lily?


The shallow, green, fog-like haze lingered throughout the house. The place had been ransacked. The table and chairs had been knocked over, legs snapped off, lost somewhere in the debris of the house litter.

Sprawled there on the carpet, near the sofa, lay the lifeless body of a man. Tossed belongings surrounding him, some of the trashed items were even covering him. An open children's book covered an ankle.

Scowling, Severus stepped over the dead man. He had his wand drawn out at the ready just in case danger still lurked.

"Lily?" he called softly. "Are you here?" His heart thudded painfully against his chest. He knew that if she were okay, he would have heard her reaction to her dead husband and child.

Deciding that nothing else mattered, he quickened his search, desperately calling for the woman.

"No." he shook his head, not wanting to believe what he saw. She lay on her back, her legs bent to one side, a fearful look frozen to her face. Her glassy, wet eyes stared eerily back at him.

He took large steps toward her without suppressing a sudden burst of tears. Taking her hand in his, he touched his face to her. The hand still warm, as it she were just sleeping.

"Mummy?" Something screeched above where Severus sat on his knees. The Potter boy's face was red, wet and sticky from earlier crying. He was looking at his dead mother, standing in his crib. His tiny fingers grasped the bars with one hand, and another held a wand.

Severus flew up with a sudden panic, both from the fact that the boy was, surprisingly, alive, and that he possessed a wand. Snape backed away, watching the baby closely. He was blocked from going any further when he bumped into a wall.

"Severus?" Albus Dumbledore stood at the hearth with a sad expression, his eyes watery.

"Albus." Severus greeted simply. His eyes flickered darkly back to the boy.

"I would assume that is Voldemort's wand." Albus remained at the doorway, analysing the predicament. "He must have dropped it when he threw the curse at Harry."

"Mummy." Harry said quietly when he heard his name.

"I'll get the wand, Severus." Albus said. "You get Harry."

"No, thanks. I'll get the wand." Severus said bitterly. No way was he going to touch the little git.

"Fine." Albus agreed and approached Harry. He said a couple things to the baby, causing him to get a toothy smile in return. Albus bent over the crib and gently lifted Harry from the crib. "Alright then, Severus?" his eyes found Snape's.

Severus held his own wand out with caution. The wand in the boy's hand held a lot of dark power; if for some reason a spell was cast, he would need to block it.

"Harry, let Severus have the wand." Albus spoke softly into the child's ear.

Harry raised the wand, and, for a moment, Snape actually thought the baby was going to hand it to him, but when Snape went to take it, the boy's grip was firm.


"Give me the wand." Severus sneered at Harry, interrupting Albus.

"Severus." the old wizard warned.

Harry turned his head to his mother. "Mummy." he said, then started squirming in Albus' arms.

"Expelliarmus!" Severus shouted, casting a disarming spell while the child's attention faltered.

Severus gasped when the wand did not budge. "What the-"

"Intriguing." Albus held the baby out at arms length, looking him over.

"Down." Harry spoke. "Down. Down." he repeated, kicking his dangling feet.

"You're not really going to oblige to the command of an infant?" Severus asked as the old man set the baby at the foot of his feet.

"I am curious."

Harry crawled to his mother and shook her to wake her, likely thinking that she was asleep. "Mummy!" the baby settled himself next to her neck, tangling some of her wavy reddish, brown hair into his feet. He sat there, waving his arms happily, as if someone had the music playing. The wand, which he held in his left hand, tapped against Lily's forehead.

"Alright, this stops now!" Severus took two steps toward the baby, and bent down. About ready to force the wand out of the prat's hand, a movement to his right made him stop abruptly.

Her chest heaved up at an alarming height next to his ear. A gasp erupted from Lily like she had been holding her breath for five minutes. She began breathing rapidly; heavily.

"S-severus!" she managed to heave out with surprise.

"Lily?" Severus was lost at words after that. "Mummy!" Harry raised his hands up above his head in triumph and released the wand from his hand. It clattered noisily and rolled, with clumsiness, a few feet from him.

Albus quickly summoned and pocketed it into his robes.

Severus, regathering his senses, took Lily's hand, and stared down at her. "You were-" his quiet voice lost itself, unable to finish.

A faint smile spread to her lips. "I came back to Harry," she explained with massive effort. "I heard him calling me." She reached out a hand to brush the head of her child. "I saw the end of a wand-" she put a hand to her forehead with dizziness. "I grabbed it, and it just like I was travelling by Floo. But before that, James and I, we were trapped between-" she stopped shortly, looking away with shame. "Without making myself sound nutty, I am not ready to leave just yet." A weak smile formed across her face.

"She should go to St. Mungo's for evaluation. " Albus spoke up.

Severus instantly stood up, hauling Lily into his arms.

"Mummy!" Harry scrunched up his face.

"I'll get Harry." Albus offered after a moment's glance at Lily.

"Thank you, Professor." She allowed herself to go limp in Severus' arms.

Severus waited for the old wizard to say a few words to the baby before picking him up. "Ready?" Albus asked. After Severus nodded, they disapparated to the outside of the hidden hospital for wizards.

After several days of constant tests and experiments on both Lily and Harry, none of the healers could explain nor understand how they could survive the Killing Curse.

Albus appeared to have a realistic theory about Harry's survival. Lily was the puzzle though. Coming back from the dead was impossible - or rather, had been until now.

How had the boy done it? Was it the Dark Lord's wand? It had been known for extreme power, and the boy was supposedly the Dark Lord's successor, but to stopper death completely? Was it him, or was it the wand?

"You have a very serious condition, Mrs. Potter." a healer finally announced one day. "We have tried all we could to mend your body, but you have suffered severe damage. Quite astonishing to see you here breathing, to be frank."

"So what does that all boil down to?" Lily asked. She was lying in the hospital bed with Harry, who was seemingly having a conversation with himself, sitting on her stomach.

Severus sat at a chair beside her bed, clearly exhausted from stress and lack of sleep.

"Eventually, your body is just going to shut down." the healer looked down at a chart that he held in his hands. 'We're estimating between five and seven years."

"You are avoiding something, Healer Formier." Severus growled, eyeing him threateningly.

The healer gave Severus an odd look, tilting his head. He cleared his throat uneasily, focusing his attention back to Lily. "It seems you have also lost your magic."

"What?!" Severus gasped. He hadn't expected that.

"Severus." Lily placed a hand on his arm, stroking it calmly.

"This means we can not give you anything to help slow down the effects of your misfortunes." Healer Formier couldn't find anything more to say, so he turned from them and exited the room in a hurried manner.

As if the attack of her son and herself wasn't good enough. Not to mention the death of her husband. Now she had to continue the rest of her life as a squib.

"I'll be alright," she assured Severus when his eyed her worriedly.

He looked away, shifting in his chair uncomfortably. "My uh-" he paused, gathering up the courage to continue. "You are welcome to stay with me." He still refused to make eye contact with her.

"Are you really sure about that?" she sounded shocked.

His eyes finally met hers and his hard look softened. Severus took her hand, encasing it with his own. "Of course I am sure." His mouth, finding old, unused muscles, formed into a smile - something he hadn't done in years.

**9 Months Later**

Severus and Albus sat in Severus' bright den. The old wizard came over often to speak with him and Lily. At that moment, the two sat quietly as Albus thoughtfully absorbed the news Severus just gave him.

"You do know that if you accept Lily, you are also accepting Harry?" He asked, finally speaking after what felt like hours to Severus.

Severus didn't meet the man's forcible eyes. "Of course." his reply bitter and slow. What had he been doing all this time?! Entertaining?!

"He is young enough, you could be a good father to him." Albus spoke thoughtfully.

Snape grunted before pursing his lips. Clearly unhappy with the suggestion, he stood up silently, not wishing to continue the subject.

Albus noted his body language. "Well, just remember, he's Lily's son, and you should treat him as she would want you to."

"I will allow her to handle the boy." Snape dismissed the idea of him fathering the Potter boy completely.


Severus' hopes sank like a brick. Harry had brought her back with the Dark Lord's wand. He remembered Lily saying that she heard her son calling and she grabbed the wand, which had been promptly disposed of that Halloween night.

"Harry." Severus spoke clearly, looking into the boy's eyes. "You must listen to me." he insisted.

"What, Sev'us?" the three year old obeyed.

Severus closed his eyes. He reluctantly pulled his wand from his robes, not quite sure where the crazy idea came from. He thrust the wand into Harry's small hands before allowing himself to change his mind.

Harry gasped. "No, Sev'us!" he dropped the wand like it was hot iron. "No! I'm not allowed! You said!"

"Pick up the wand, boy!" Severus sneered with a dark threat.

Harry backed away. Severus had warned him about touching his wand - any wand- after he had played with it last year. He had gotten a good verbal lashing for it too.

"You must!" Severus snatched the wand from where it lay and returned it to the boy's hands. "Touch your mother with it, and tell her to come back." He ordered Harry like he was some house elf.

Harry's lip quivered in fear, silently pleading him to change his mind.

"Now!" Severus used the most cruel voice he could muster.

"Mummy." Harry turned to Lily, his voice teary.

"You tapped her forehead last time." Snape explained. "So try that."

Harry looked at the still body of his mother. "Mummy, come back, please." he whispered. Bending down, he gave his mother a curious look before tapping her forehead.

"Three times total, Harry."

Harry complied, but nothing happened. Not even after ten minutes of their silent waiting.

Severus sank into a chair with devastation.

Lily was gone


The next day, Albus stood over Severus, who was sprawled along his bed. "Where is Harry, Severus?"

Severus rose slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. He set his head into his hands. "Lupin has him." His reply raspy.

"I see."

"I can't do it." Severus admitted over the lump in his throat. "Not without her."

"We will all miss her." Albus said with a nod. "They need you though."

Severus shook his head. He had trouble when she had been around, he definitely couldn't manage now that she was gone. Lily had kept him together. She had given him happiness. Happiness that he truly never deserved.

"Filling yourself with doubt will not get things done. You know that, Severus."

Severus sighed and stood up from the bed. "I don't think it would be wise for the boy to stay here anymore."

"I clearly remember you saying that you understood the responsibility of Harry when you married Lily."

"I am not his father!" Snape snapped. Then, he quickly regained himself. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am sorry, Albus, you don't deserve this." he whispered.

"Quite all right, Severus." Albus said gently. "You could be his parent though."

"I don't really care to be."

"Have you even considered it?"

"No." Snape growled.

"Will you consider it?"

"No." Severus said flatly. "I am going to have enough difficulty as it is." Severus felt Albus' eyes on his back, but refused to let it bother him. "Lupin is fond of him."

"In order for the protection to work, he must live with true family." the old wizard reminded him.

"Lily has a sister..." he suggested slowly.

"He should really stay here." Albus pressed. "He is part of this world."

"I just can't believe he couldn't bring her back."

"You were told it was only temporary." the even voice returned very quietly. "Hardly fair to blame the child, isn't it?"

Snape scowled at the man's truth.

"He gave you two years with her." Albus tried reasoning with him. "And you have a daughter now."

"I don't want another James in my life."

"Is he that much trouble?" Albus asked with curiosity.

Snape considered this for a moment.. "Not quite, I guess." he answered truthfully. "But, give it time."

"Lily lives in that boy too," the old wizard pointed out.

"And just what will happen once the Dark Lord comes back?!" Severus demanded. "Do you think he won't mess with them? I have already lost Lily because of that prat, I am not going to lose my daughter too!"

Albus quietly stared at him, taking in his argument. "You really should reconsider. We can think of something later."

"I don't want him anywhere near Trixi." Severus insisted. "I know how He thinks. It's too dangerous. I have my own child to protect, Albus. Harry Potter is someone else's problem."

"Alright then, better he be raised by muggles for the time being, anyway."

Severus nodded in agreement, then sent his house elf to pack Harry's things. "Make sure you cast a Forgetfulness Charm on him." he muttered. "I don't need him knocking on my door in the future."


"M-master." Riffer called from Severus' bedroom doorway, not long after Lily's passing.

"What?" the man muttered, his voice muffled slightly from a pillow.

"Master's daughter." the elf said warily. "She is crying."

"I know, stupid, I have ears!" Severus placed the pillow over his head to drown out the baby's wails.

"She wants Master to hold her." Riffer said quietly.

Unfortunately, Severus heard that, and the pillow wasn't effective with Trixi's cries either.

"Riffer has tried, but house elves are not the same."

Severus swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. If it were ever possible for him to look worse than he usually did, this was it. He hadn't brushed his hair in nearly a week, and he was lucky if he had had two hours of sleep in that week. His robes had several wrinkles from the large amount of time Severus spent the passing days in bed. "Why can't house elves calm a crying baby?" he wondered out loud.

"Riffer is not good enough for Master's daughter. Master's daughter wants Master, that's why." Feeling as if he had done the job he was supposed to, Riffer turned away in a hurry. He had developed a habit of staying out of Severus' way as often as possible in recent times.

Severus groggily got up and stalked, almost blindly, to the nursery that was just across the hall. His eyes were heavy and itchy, his head pierced with a throbbing pain. He had ran out of curing potions, and had been too tired to brew any.

Now that he was closer, the baby's screams were much louder; near deafening. Her face was so red, she could easily get lost in a crate of tomatoes.

"Okay, I am here." He spoke evenly to her.

Trixi's protests lightened some, but still continued on.

He narrowed his eyes to the obnoxious noise. He had held the child very little in her near ten month lifespan; It was not that he didn't love his daughter, he just didn't know much what to do with her. Lily knew though. She understood his feelings about handling the baby. Occasionally, Lily had tried encouraging him to hold Trixi, but Severus felt it was safer just to keep his distance.

But Lily is gone now, he thought in misery.

Like Harry, most her looks came from her father. Trixi had his straight, slick black hair and overly large nose. She had her mother's eyes. Lily's beautiful, green eyes... and he couldn't see them because she was too busy wailing.

"Trixi." he said to the baby with a soothing voice he rarely used. He reached down and put his hand to her belly as he sometimes would do. She ceased her wails to look at him. "You miss them." He concluded with a whisper.

His daughter whimpered with confusion written all over her face before she resumed her bawling.

Severus bent down to lift her up from the crib as he had watched his wife do a thousand times. "Alright," he murmured to the baby, trying to be reassuring even though, he, himself, felt anxious enough. Trixi was growing at a steady and healthy pace, nearly two times the weight she had been since he last held her.

"Master Severus...?" Riffer's squeaky voice came up from behind him.

"What is it?" Severus asked, only half listening as he concentrated on not dropping his daughter. He never had gotten the hang of this, everytime feeling like his first.

"The master's baby likes it best when you pace the room." the elf offered very quietly.

"Useful information." Severus said after some consideration, and took the advice, walking from one wall to the next. He felt a bit silly doing it, but the feeling vanished when his daughter finally hushed into barely audible grunts.

Severus looked into in the baby's green eyes. "There they are." He could see them clearly now and he couldn't suppress the smile that formed on his face.

She was much happier now that she had someone to hold her again.

It would be a horrific challenge, but perhaps he could do this after all.


A/N: I know some people hate when dead characters come back, I usually do too, but I made a compromise with myself, allowing Lily's death to just be postponed. Hints in the book will be given as to why Harry was able to "wake her up" if no one quite understands yet. Until then, enjoy Trixi's story :)

Last Edited: August 22nd, 2014. Thanks to ALL REVIEWERS! You have been soooo helpful! I hope these changes please you as much as they have for me!

Concerns from the readers:

"Snape is a jerk!"

Uh... we're talking about Snape here... Of course he's a jerk. :P

"How could Lily marry Severus so soon after James' death. Didn't she grieve?"

"How could Lily forgive Severus for telling Voldemort about the prophecy?"

"How did Harry save Lily?"

What happened to Voldmort's wand?"

All will be explained... eventually... It's a story, we can't have all the answers at once, you know ;)

"I want to see the relationships build between the family."

You most definitely will read about this! You will see how Snape deals with both Lily and Harry (and even an occasional appearance of Lupin). I am also writing scenes with Harry and Trixi together (when they were babies), and you will see how each Lily and Snape react with the two children.

"I hope Snape gets what he deserves!"

*...shifts eyes...*


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