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Between Psychiatrists and Psychopaths by Miss MarlaG
Chapter 9 : The Founding of The Super Secret Spy Ninja Squad of Awesomeness
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

Background:   Font color:, are explanations necessary.

I wrote this story in late 2011 and early 2012, around the time I lost interest in HPFF and lost the pendrive where I've written up to seven more chapters to this story. And that was a hard blow to take, when I had all these ideas I had already put onto a document, and then lost it all. That was, until now, two years later, when I found this story collecting dust in my dad's old laptop. And I was hit with the reality that all the chapters I'd written and thought I lost were still around, waiting for me. I loved this story while I was writing it and mourned its abandonement and the loss of my files. And therefore, feel a responsibility to continue it now, two years later and some. I don't even know if my old readers are still around, or if new ones will come along. But I have chapters and chapters all ready to upload, and as long as you want me to, I will. You deserve that much.

I am so sorry this much time has passed before tonight, when I realised it all wasn't lost. For abandoning this story and not looking hard enough. But Ari, her crazy gang, and Al are getting reacquainted with me, and I'd love to have you guys for the journey back.

With that emotional preset -- here comes, the first of many chapters I wrote long ago, continuing where we left off.


Chapter 9: The Founding of The Super Secret Spy Ninja Squad of Awesomeness




These people are trying to kill me.


Not exaggerating here (well, just a tad).

Help me.

Scooooorp,” I groaned, banging my head on the table. Bart, Scorpius, and I were in the library, sitting at one of the four-seat tables nearing the Restricted Section. We had a free so we came here straight after Charms to plan. I’ve tried everything to back out on this but Malfoy always brings out the ‘you owe me!’ card, and so I had nothing else to do but begrudgingly go with them to our first Super Secret Spy Ninja meeting for our first plan-planning session. Well, I didn’t really have much choice as when they saw that I had my feet planted firmly on the ground and nothing they said would make me go, they both grabbed me by under my armpits and literally took me to the library.

And now this.

Help me. Please, help me.

“We are not calling it the The Banana Woo Plan!”  I stated, smacking the table. “That would just be weird!”

Scorpius pouted and folded his arms across his chest, shooting me a look like a hurt puppy. “It’s not weird! It’s an awesome name for a plan!”

Bart looked between us two and then cocked his head to the side and nodded. He grabbed my hand. “It is an awesome name for a plan.”

“Because you two are mental! May you explain why exactly ‘The Banana Woo Plan’?” I air quoted, very much wishing I had never borrowed the History of Magic notes from Scorpius and just killed Bart for ruining mine. I didn’t even want to be here doing this! I wanted to be down in the dungeons, taking a nap, doing my Charms homework. Not sitting on the library to help Scorpius score Rose Weasley! GAAAAHHHHHH.

Scorpius and Bart shared a glance before looking back at me blankly. Really –were these two my best mates? I should pick better next time. “Um, its ‘banana’ because yesterday we were discussing bananas and I thought it seemed fitting –”

“How’s ‘banana’ fitting with you getting Rose Weasley?!” I interrupted him. They really reallyreally wanted me to jump of the astronomy tower. “It has nothing to do with that!”

Scorpius blinked and grabbed my hand. “Um, yes it does,” He said, cocking his head in my direction and watching me with concern.

I hate him for dragging me into this.

I sighed and put my two hands in the air, palms upwards, as if holding two plates to mimic a balance. “Banana.” I weighted my left hand. “Rose Weasley.” I weighted the other. “Banana.” I repeated the procedure, my eyes wide and making sure they were listening. “That sick little bitch.”

“Hey, not insulting my girlfriend!”

“She’s not your girlfriend!” I groaned and banged my head on the table once again. They want me. To jump. Of the astronomy tower.

And if this keeps up, I will.

Bart chuckled, amused, and pulled me up by the top of my head before I got a serious concussion (the type usually linked to too much Al Annoying-ness). “Common, Ari, loosen up. Bananas are awesome!”

Scorpius nodded his head like a bobblehead doll.

“And the ‘Woo’ part is because I want to ‘woo’ her,” Scorpius explained, intertwining his fingers and waiting patiently for me to start whining again.

That’s not nice.

I hate his stupid “I’m waiting”/”what else?” smile.

It’s nice, but stupid.

I rolled my eyes and smacked Bart’s arm, who laughed and kept attempting to tickle me. “I get that, but ‘The Banana Woo Plan’? It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Well, love doesn’t make sense,” he retailed and I banged my head on the table once more.

Bart rolled his eyes at my big display of annoyance. “Stop, Ari, you’ll get a headache.”

I whipped my head up and glared at him. “May I let you know, I ALREADY GOT ONE.”

Scorpius rolled his eyes and leaned back on his chair, clearly over me. “Are you really that turned off by the name?”

No, I’m not. That name is so pretty and wonderful and super secret spy ninja-ish that I wanna marry it and elope to Vermont with it. After all, IT IS NOT GIVING ME A HEADACHE.

Thinking about getting involved in helping Scorpius with Rose Weasley had ALREADY BEEN GIVING ME HEADACHE.



Scorpius and Bart shared yet another glance –really? That’s not nice. I feel like they are not letting me in on some secret– and then ghosts of smiles appeared on their lips.

What are they thinking?

“Well, I guess it is up to vote!”

Now I know what they are thinking.


Now Bart and Scorpius’ smiles were smug smirks of ‘WE BEAT YOU ARI! YOU CAN’T WIN!’ which is why I just shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Everyone in favour of vetoing the name ‘The Banana Woo Plan’ for our plan to make Rose Weasley fall in love with me, raise your hand.”

Fuck you.

I growled and raised my hand, but not tall enough to look like I cared.

Scorpius smiled smugly. “Now, everyone in favour of the name ‘The Banana Woo Plan’ for our plan to make Rose Weasley fall in love with me, raise your hand.”

I glared as both Wright and Malfoy’s hands shot straight in the air, and I rolled my eyes. Arseholes. They are getting laps for that one.

“Well would you look at that!” Scorpius turned to me, his mouth forming a round O of the fakest surprise in the universe. “We are a majority! So The Banana Woo Plan it is!”

Lord help me.



1.    ScorpiusMalfoy – Co-Founder of TheSuper Secret Spy Ninja Squad of Awesomeness. Credit for name. Reason for the operation.

Code name: Gold Unicorn (against his will)

2.    Bartholomew Wright – Co-Founder of The Super Secret Spy Ninja Squad of Awesomeness. Credit for code names. Brain of the operation.

Code name: Yellow Panda

3.    Ariadne Wood – Supposed Co-Founder of TheSuper Secret Spy Ninja Squad of Awesomeness. Credit for switching “team” for “squad” since it sounded cooler. Bitch of the operation.

i.              Also major roadblock, credit for slowing down the operation and throwing tantrums

Code name: Black Snidget


Mission 1: The Banana Woo Plan

Credit: Scorpius Malfoy

Synopsis: Getting Rose Weasley to fall in love with Scorpius.

Possible External Reasons for Plan Failure: Rose’s friends –Philippa Brown, Scarlett Donahue, Claudia Spinelli, Brigitta Porter. Also Rose’s enemy, Ariadne Wood.

Possible Personal Reasons for Plan Failure: Rose Weasley is a bitch, but Scorpius is blind.

Possible Mend for External Reasons for Plan Failure: Distract PB, SD, CS, BP, and keep away AW from operation central.

i.              Distract? Find them boyfriends that will not mind their sneaky, self-absorbed, bitchy selves.

ii.             Boyfriends? Exact opposite from each and every one. Will keep them busy.

iii.            Not Working? Lock them on a broom cupboard and run.

Reasons Why It Will Work Out? Scorpius is dedicated and ambitious, and plus, he’s pretty hot-looking.




I really reallyreallyreallyreallyreally hate Arlene.

Like, with my guts.

With my soul.

With my very being.

After all, it’s not fun to have a big ol’ wedding binder shoved in your face.

“I am not going to be your bridesmaid, okay? I refuse to. You won’t put me in some slinky fat gold dress and make walk in front of you down the aisle and let you tease and tame my hair back and be to your assistance. NO.”

Arlene pouted and dropped on the couch next to me, giving me her sad puppy dog look and snuggling in my chest.

This isn’t comfortable.

“Pleaseeeeeeeeee please pleaseplease, Ari, you have to be! You are my one and only dear sister, I need you with me.”

“I’m not your only sister, there’s Althea!” I protested, shimming from under Arlene and throwing myselfwith my arms extended onto the carpet to liberty. GAH, these people always trying to drag me into their stupid condescending plans which I seriously never want to have any part of. When will it stop? When will they get the meaning of NO?

At this rate, I’ll be meddling in the middle of all these enamoured ninjas and psycho brides ‘till death.

Help me.

“But Althea’s psycho, and she’ll probably just be around stalking Albus instead of doing what I ask,” she whinnied and jumped off the couch to sit down in front of me. Great. Now she’s depriving me of any quick escape. Outstanding.

I swear, the second I graduate I will hop on a portkey and leave for the Bahamas.

I sighed and stood up, my sister following me with her ‘so, what’s it gonna be’ look. GAH. “Arlene, please, I’ll do anything, I-I’ll sew your dress, I’ll bake the cake, I’ll pay the bloody photographer but I won’t. Be. Your bridesmaid.”

Arlene shot me a look full of resentment and dropped down on the couch. “Fine,” she snapped, closing the binder shut. “Consider yourself uninvited to the wedding because my own sister couldn’t stop being selfish on the happiest day of my life and ruin it for me.” She looked away and bit her lip to make it stop quivering, and her eyes smarted with tears.

You have got to be kidding me.

Shit. I can’t stand people crying. It makes me go soft –Ari Wood can’t go soft! It will ruin everything!

Arlene sniffed again and blinked rapidly, clapping her hand on her mouth.


Is someone up there seriously not listening to my cries of help?

“Fine!” I surrendered and dropped on the couch beside her. “Fine, I’ll be your stupid bridesmaid.” I folded my arms over my chest and put on my frowny face, because Arlene has just put me in a bad mood.  I absolutely hate when people take my weaknesses and use them in their favour and against me. It gets me pissed. There is a reason Dorcas is in St. Mungo’s right now!

Though that is not me admitting to anything.

“Yay!” Arlene bright up and clapped excitedly, all traces of her teary fit gone already. She opened the binder to the pink colour coded section and began flipping through shots of colourful dresses on bored-looking models. She started yapping-yapping-yapping about lace dresses vs. Short dresses vs. Long dresses vs. Gold dresses. And during all that time I hit my head with the cushion, hating myself for getting soft.

Someone up there really hates me.

I swear that I’ll snog the person that crosses portrait and saves me from a lace-and-gold misery. I swear. I’ll snog them. Even if it’s a girl.

Wait, wait, I take it back. I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK.

Al smiled and walked in my direction.


“Bye!” I chirped, slamming the Bride Binder in Arlene’s face suddenly. Then I took off up the girls’ staircase where he couldn’t find me if he wanted to spend the rest of the day attempting to climb the slide.

“Ari!” He yelled after me but I continued to race up the steps two at a time. I would not stop. I couldn’t talk to him or look at him in the face after I smiled at him and we had an honesty moment down at the memorial. It seemed that he had gotten the idea that suddenly I would start being nice to him, but, as he should already notice, I WOULD NOT. I REFUSED TO SPEAK TO ALBUS POTTER IN A CIVILIZED MANNER, HERE, AND EVER, AND EVEN IN ARLENE’S WEDDING. I WOULD NOT BE TRICKED INTO BEING NICE BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY, BEING NICE SUCKS.

The thing was, that night back at the memorial had been nice. But weird. And it put things into perspective for me. As much as he suddenly got adorable and really nice, I just could not fall for him, I wouldn’t be able to stand him. So I had to run away. I had to.

“Ariadne!” He shouted and I froze on the steps, just near the dinky third year’s dorm.

Did he just call me Ariadne?


Damn, he was smart. He must have known that I would be itching to turn around and hex his chiselled abs off so I not longer have to worry about them throwing me off my concentration on Quidditch practice. And I clenched my jaw and tightened my grip on my wand, trying with all the will I could muster to not turn around.







“I need to talk to you about that Quidditch thing!” He yelled next and I started trembling.

That bloke is too good.

Must not turn.

I can’t allow myself to turn. But he wants to talk to me. About Quidditch. Damn Quidditch! No, no, I didn’t mean that. Damn stupid annoying sexy-abs Al Potter for calling out my first name and mentioning Quidditch.

“Common, love, its Quidditch!” Al called after me, and I could just sense the smugness in his tone.

Damn him. Damn him with my very being.

“Oh, come on, Ariadne, Albus wants to talk to you about Quidditch!” Arlene chimed with him, like the backup little crony.

The hand not gripping my wand balled up into a fist and let loose and I had to fight the strong urge to punch my sister in the face. I hate her. I hate her for her stupid plot to get me and Al to fall for each other. I hate her for butting in with Al so I just had no choice but to turn around and find out what Al wanted. I hate her for always getting what she wants.

Trembling with fury, I slowly turned around and clench my jaw in a somewhat constipated smile at Arlene and Al. They both smiled smugly at me.


Were they like stupid super team called “Ari’s Pain in the Arse”? Because it sure seemed so. I actually wouldn’t put it past them to actually form a team called “Ari’s Pain in the Arse”. They would probably do it to annoy me and while Arlene got all giggly and official, Al smirked at me and sent me weird looks that would make me wanna punch me more than I already did.

When I was finally in front of them, Arlene gave me a quick peck in the cheek and then moved on to Al’s. “I need to be in a meeting with the other prefects, so, tootles!” Her hand fluttered around and with a small tippi-toing and hair sweeping she was gone, the lingering scent of warm vanilla sugar the only hint that she had ever been here.

I folded my arms across my chest and stared at Al. “What is it?”

He just smiled smugly.

“Something with the team?”

He gave away nothing.

“The oncoming match?”

He kept smiling.

He looked quite constipated.

I don’t like it.

“Is Dork back?”


“Are you even gonna talk at all?!” I stomped my foot, frustrated.

Still nothing.Just him gazing in my eyes with that playful smirk on his stupid, stupid lips.

“UGH!” I let out a deeply frustrated scream and turned on my heel to stomp away back to my dormitory, where I belonged and HE didn’t. “You are just –ARGHH.”


But I wasn’t able to storm off deeply frustrated because he got hold of my arm (geez he’s fucking strong –I think I pulled a limb) and pulled me towards him out of the blue. My reaction to his action was that I whirled back (seriously. I whirled. With my hair whipping around me and all. It was quite awesome) and found myself face to face with him, only tilting my head upwards slightly since he wasn’t all that taller than me. Still, he held my gaze and I, for the love of fried pancakes, couldn’t look away. “Bart and Scorpare looking for you. They said they have the first phase of the plan,” Al said in a low voice and then let go of my arm.

The second I was free from his grip, the weird incantation on his mesmerizing gaze broke and I pushed him away from me, my chest rising up and down as if I had just ran twenty laps around the pitch. I didn’t know what was up with me, and I knew that even though I did push him away, it had been way too late for it to even count. And by the look of his smirk, he knew that.

Al flashed a smug smile towards my deeply confused and annoyed behaviour and walked away out of the portrait, his hands on his pockets with a confident swagger.

“UGH!” I let out and threw the first thing at hand against the wall. The cushion bounced off and landed on the floor, unharmed.

Stupid Potter.


so that's it for now - fillery, but moving the story along for the next chapters to come that i ought to re-read and edit now. Please review and let me know if you liked it, see if I keep updating this thing - if this story is brightening your day, just drop by to say hello, it'd be so lovely.

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