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The Function of a Rubber Duck by The Ghost Of His Last Laugh
Chapter 1 : Discovering the Function
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 7

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It was midnight, and Arthur sat at his desk, his head bent over the piles of paper strewn across the top. “Merlin...I think I’ve done it...” he stammered while examining a clipping from the muggle paper. “Molly! Come here! I’ve done it!” His eyes were crazed with excitement. It was obvious he had been up for an excruciating amount of time; his ginger hair was abnormally unkempt and his face had grown weary with every hour.

“I’ve done it, Molly!” He shouted into the darkness that filled the rest of the Burrow. “Alright, alright, I’m coming!” Molly shouted back from their bedroom, where she was reading Witch’s Weekly. She got out of bed and put on a fluffy pink bathrobe and matching slippers to see what her husband was yelling about.

When she arrived in the den, she was shocked at Arthur’s appearance. She had last seen him when she tried to coax him into eating dinner instead of poring over his papers, and he already started looking worse.

“What’s this about?” Molly asked. A look of concern and mild disapproval displayed on her face.

Arthur stood up and grabbed his wife by the shoulders. “The function of a rubber duck. I’ve found it out.” He giggled slightly, almost like his daughter would at the news of Harry Potter coming to visit the Burrow.

Molly’s eyes widened with surprise. This is what he’s been on about? she thought to herself. “Oh” She had trouble masking the disappointment in her voice, but she tried to be encouraging. “That’s wonderful, dear.”

Arthur’s shoulders fell at his wife’s obvious disinterest. Molly quickly tried to redeem herself. “Truly, honey! Wonderful! What is it?”

Arthur regained his confidence and began rattling off his discovery.

“It’s a bath toy, Molly! It has no function! Small muggle children like to keep it in the bath with them to play with! It’s made out of that - uh, what is it called? Rubber! Rubber material the muggles concocted and it floats on top of the water.”

“ function?” Molly said through her teeth. This is what her husband has been neglecting his family for.

“It’s exactly like that dragon toy Charlie used to have, Molly! Remember? That dragon you bewitched to swim through the water with him in the bath? It’s the same idea! But for muggles!” Arthur was shouting now.

“Honey, please, you’re going to wake Ginny...” Molly attempted to calm him.

“Dad?” Ginny’s small voice came from the dark. She slowly made her way into the light of the den. “What’s going on?”

Arthur was so excited, he picked his youngest child up and twirled her around. “I’ve discovered the function of a rubber duck!” He set her down gently and kissed the top of her head. Molly shook her head at her almost child-like husband.

“You did? That’s great, dad!” Ginny’s eyes sparkled with geniune interest. “What is it?”

Arthur started off again, explaining his discovery with more animation than a muggle cartoon.

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