Chapter 1 : Loving Liars
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He wished Dumbledore would see his potential and stop giving the job to bumbling fools who had no clue as to what they were doing.
The latest one was Gilderoy Lockhart. His mouth curled upwards as he thought of the man who loved himself too much. His blonde curling locks always framed his face and he always had exceptionally white teeth that grated on his nerves far too much.
Severus could never supress a scowl whenever he strutted by, boasting about his recent achievements. He always seemed to have a wonderful story that Severus could never believe.
One dreary Tuesday afternoon it was only the two of them in the staffroom. Severus was marking his fifth years’ essays and was slowly losing faith in his students. They were all complete dunces.
Lockhart on the other hand was laughing and giggling as he read his fan mail. Severus’ lips thinned into a knife-like line each time he heard the burst of laughter. He gripped his quill tighter and tighter until eventually he snapped, “Can you be quiet? I am trying to mark.”
Lockhart looked at him in surprise, his blue eyes widening. “Oh, I do apologise, dear friend!. I’ll be as quiet as a mouse over here.” He winked and Severus felt something boiling inside of him.
“We are not friends,” he said shortly. He returned to his marking but before he could read the first sentence, Lockhart interrupted his thoughts once more.
“That’s not a way to treat a fellow colleague, you know,” Lockhart said lightly. Severus looked up and although Lockhart was smiling, he noticed a touch of sadness in his eyes. Suddenly he felt guilty.
Guilty? Severus Snape hardly ever felt guilty. Especially not for pompous gits like Gilderoy Lockhart.
Instead of replying, Severus bent his head down and continued marking the essay but he could not concentrate as he felt Gilderoy’s steady gaze on him.
He let out a silent gasp as he heard Gilderoy stand up and move towards him. The lounge Severus was sitting on was suddenly weighed down. Severus looked to his left and flinched as Gilderoy was sitting closer to him than he originally anticipated.
“Why do you hate me so, Severus?” he asked sadly. “I am not an idiot, I notice things. You always avert your eyes when you see me. You constantly snap at me and you glare at me when you think I’m not looking. And don’t try to use the excuse of ‘I wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts job’ because I will not accept it.”
What was the truth? Severus wondered. He had no clue what the truth was because truth be told it wasn’t because of the job. As much as he hated to admit it, Gilderoy was right.
He cast his papers to the side. He then closed the cap on his inkwell and placed it and his quill on the table in front of them. He then faced Gilderoy, his heart beating extremely quickly.
“I can’t tell you, Gilderoy,” he said softly.
Gilderoy’s eyes widened. “Do you know that this is the first time that you’ve called me by my first name?”
Severus’ mouth dried up in an instant. He licked his lips to bring moisture in them. “Have you been keeping track?” he asked to avoid answering the question.
Gilderoy smiled slyly. “Maybe,” he said teasingly. He scooted forwards and asked, “Why? Do you wish that I had been?”
“I could not care less if you told me how many times I’d said your name,” he responded quickly. His chest was rising rapidly as he took quick breaths.
“Oh my, Severus,” Gilderoy gasped, “are you nervous?” His lips twitched into a challenging smirk.
“Why would I be nervous?” Severus asked, trying to keep a cool façade. He clasped his hands together and put them in his lap.
Gilderoy laughed softly. “Because of this.” He then reached over, tucked the long curtain of black hair behind Severus’ ear and gave him a soft kiss.
Severus did not respond until Gilderoy cupped his face between both hands. Severus then moved his lips against Gilderoy’s and placed his hands on the other man’s hips.
Soon, Gilderoy’s tongue was pressing against Severus’ lower lip so he opened his mouth and pressed his own tongue against the intruder.
Unable to help himself, Severus let out a small moan. Gilderoy suddenly broke away from Severus. “We shall continue this tonight. I’ll be at your chambers at eleven. Be ready.”
Severus was in shock. He could not respond but Gilderoy seemed to be aware of what his answer was as he strutted out the staffroom, his fan mail following him in a rush.
At ten thirty, Severus was pacing his chambers, thinking about what was going to happen. He was nervous, his heart beating madly in his chest. He’d always known Gilderoy was an attractive man, but he had not realised that he had been romantically interested in him.
And to think that Gilderoy was interested in him too… It amazed Severus. Hardly anyone was ever interested in him. People tended to overlook him. He wasn’t attractive, he didn’t have a pleasant personality and his sexuality was less than doxy eggs.
Severus could not be still. He straightened things out, making sure they were impeccably perfect for Gilderoy even though deep down he knew Gilderoy wouldn’t notice. He may have been a gorgeous man, but he was still an arrogant sod who never noticed anything that did not directly involve himself.
After cleaning his chambers one last time via the Muggle way, he looked to the clock and saw that it was five minutes to eleven.
He sat on the bed, wondering what exactly himself and Gilderoy were going to do. He knew clearly what most of it would entail, but he found himself pondering how they were going to go about it.
At eleven o’clock, there was no knock at the door. Severus told himself he was being foolish. No one could turn up the exact minute.
Time passed excruciatingly slowly. Each tick of the clock made Severus think of another doubt about himself. After precisely one thousand and twenty ticks, there was a sharp rap at the door.
Severus nearly bolted to the door. He laid a hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath before slowly opening it. “Gilderoy,” he drawled once he saw the familiar blond curls.
“Severus,” Gilderoy responded coquettishly. Severus swallowed audibly. Gilderoy smirked and walked past him, closing the door with a kick of his boot.
Severus hovered by the door as Gilderoy pretended to look around the room. Severus knew that he was doing this to keep him on edge. He didn’t care about the plain decorum.
“You were late,” Severus said stiffly, tired of the silence.
Gilderoy spun around, a smile on his face. “Ah, you would think so. But I was actually outside your door, knowing you were counting each second I was late. I was seventeen minutes to be late, but of course you already knew that.”
Severus didn’t respond. He did know that. And he did not favour the idea of Gilderoy knowing him that well already that he could predict his actions.
Gilderoy licked his lips and smacked them. “So, Severus,” he said, walking closer towards him. “Why are you hanging by that door all the way over there?” Severus took a few reluctant steps forward. Gilderoy stretched his hand out and softly caressed Severus’ own hand.
“Did you think about me all day?” he breathed, tracing feather light patterns on Severus’ hand.
Severus couldn’t respond. Gilderoy tutted. “Severus,” he said, his voice strong and loud, “we cannot play this game if you do not cooperate. Now,” he made his voice quiet and sensual once more, “did you think about me all day? Did you think about the way we kissed in the staffroom? Did you think about how my arse fit exceptionally well in your hands? Did you think about the way that I turn you on in ways you’ve never known before?”
“Yes,” Severus responded in the quietest of whispers.
Gilderoy leant forward, his mouth at Severus’ ear. His lips brushed his earlobe as he murmured, “Louder please.”
“Yes,” Severus said louder this time, closing his eyes at the proximity of Gilderoy.
“Yes what?” Gilderoy said seductively. He lightly bit Severus’ earlobe.
Severus gasped. “Yes. I did think of you all day. I thought of the way we kissed in the staffroom. I thought of the way that your arse fit perfectly in my hands. I wondered how anyone could turn me on so much. I wondered how it could possibly be that you’re attracted to me.”
Gilderoy moved his lips to Severus’ neck and so Severus arched his neck up with a moan. “How could I not be attracted to you?” Gilderoy murmured into his neck.
Severus couldn’t take it anymore. He gripped Gilderoy’s face within his hands and crushed his lips to the other man’s. He spun them around so Gilderoy’s back was facing the bed. Their tongues pressed together incessantly and their hands were already beginning to remove each other’s clothing.
The two stood naked opposite each and were breathing heavily. They leant forward and began kissing once more. Severus pushed Gilderoy down on the bed and crawled on top of him, kissing him passionately.
That was their first night together.
Throughout the whole duration of the school year, Severus and Gilderoy kept their relationship a secret from everyone.
Gilderoy would wink at Severus when they walked past one another. If they were alone, he would steal a kiss or touch him playfully, and then later that night he would be reprimanded from Severus in case they would be caught and Gilderoy would apologise but repeat the same thing the very next day.
Severus secretly loved it. He would never admit it though. But his favourite part of the whole process was the aftermath. Gilderoy would place his hands in his and Severus would lean forward to kiss him and they would spend the night entwined with each other.
His hands would tangle in the golden curls, and Gilderoy would tug at the black strands of his own hair. The way he would cry out Severus’ name always sent shivers down his spine. The need that dripped from his voice made Severus’ head spin.
One night after their usual crazed passion, they were lying next together, arms and legs twisted together, their breathing quick and heavy.
“Severus,” Gilderoy said breathily, “I think we should start to tell people of our love.”
Severus sat up sharply. Gilderoy sat up slower and wrapped his hands around Severus’ naked waist, kissing his shoulder. “What?” Severus asked sharply.
Gilderoy leant forward so Severus could feel every inch of him against his back. He tried to ignore how delicious it felt. “I think we should tell the truth.”
“Why would we do that?” he asked in a tone that implied that the conversation was unwelcome. Gilderoy’s hand travelled up and down his thigh slowly, nearly tickling Severus but he refused to react.
Gilderoy scoffed, “We are men of action. Lies do not become us.”* He kissed Severus’ neck. “Would it inconvenience you that much? I detest lying.”
Severus did not move his head but his eyes flicked over to where Gilderoy was pressing light kisses on his shoulder, and biting him softly.
“I think it would be inappropriate to tell people just yet. The school year is not yet over. We will wait,” Severus said, indicating he did not want to talk about the issue anymore.
Gilderoy wasn’t having it. “Why must we hide, Severus? It is a shameful thing for one to hide who they truly are.” Severus flushed. His whole life consisted of him hiding who he truly was. Was he really a shameful person?
“We are work colleagues. Work colleagues do not get involved with one another,” he said shortly. He had begun to feel extremely uncomfortable on the topic of lying. Gilderoy was an open book – literally. He had several books depicting his unbelievable life and did not – could not – understand the crushing weight of the truth Severus dealt with daily.
“Oh, Severus,” Gilderoy said, laughing lightly, “the things you miss. Work colleagues do get involved. You just don’t listen.”
Severus knew everything about all his colleagues. He needed to. Each bit of information kept him alive. He could not tell Gilderoy this, however, so he remained silent.
“See?” Gilderoy breathed. “You’re thinking about it. I’m right, aren’t I?” His hands came over his shoulders and down his chest to rest on Severus’ hips. He placed open mouth kisses on Severus’ neck.
Severus still did not respond but instead turned around and captured Gilderoy’s lips in his own. “At the end of the school year, we’ll tell them. Please. Just wait a little longer for me. We only have two months left. Please,” he begged, his hands moving quickly under the sheet.
Gilderoy could not resist Severus when he did those things. “Okay. That sounds agreeable.” Severus grunted in appreciation and they returned to kissing, falling onto their backs and into the mattress, the sheet dropping down their legs and tangling itself within them.
“Apparently Lockhart’s wand backfired and now he can’t remember anything,” Professor Vector was saying. “It’s terrible but at least we won’t have to deal with that man boasting every time he saw or heard about something dangerous.”
Severus, only just registering what he was saying, said, “What? He’s lost his memory?”
Vector nodded. “And there’s nothing anyone can do. He’s currently in the Hospital Wing if you want to see the evidence.”
Without a second thought, Severus stood up and strode out the staffroom door, his robes billowing behind him. He walked briskly to the Hospital Wing and with a dramatic flick of his wand, the doors swung open and he all but ran to Gilderoy’s side.
“Professor Snape!” Madame Pomfrey said. “You gave me a bit of a fright! Are you okay?”
“I have come to see Lockhart,” he said softly. “I wanted to see if the rumours were true.”
Madame Pomfrey smiled sadly. “Yes, they are. The poor sod has lost all his memory. Can’t even remember his own name. And he can’t even remember that he wrote books. But he never did any of the things in his books—” At this, Severus took his eyes off of Gilderoy and looked at her in shock. “Oh, yes. He’d told Potter and Weasley and then tried to use Weasley’s broken wand on them to remove their memories. Apparently he did that to all those poor people who really did do those courageous things.”
Severus eyes’ flicked down to the sleeping man in absolute betrayal. He composed himself before looking up again. “Would you mind if I spoke to him alone? I won’t hurt him. I just want to see – natural curiosity.”
Madame Pomfrey nodded in understanding. Some people could be so stupid, Severus thought nastily as she turned her back and returned to her office.
He glanced around and saw that no one was around. He let the complete hurt show on his face. “You lied?” he asked, knowing he wouldn’t respond but he needed to say the words. His eyes filled with tears but Severus didn’t allow them to spill.
He held Gilderoy’s hand – ignoring the pang of the strong memories when Gilderoy would grab it sneakily under the professor’s table at dinner – and squeezed it gently. “You always reprimanded me for lying, and you made me feel so bad, but you were lying the whole time. You weren’t a brilliant wizard. You’re just a sneaky, deceitful liar.
“Just like me,” he finished, looking down at the soft face, not caring about the tears slowly running down his face.
“Why, Gilderoy?” he asked uselessly. “Did you even love me? Or was that another lie?”
Gilderoy didn’t respond, he was still sleeping. Severus bent down and softly kissed him on the lips one last time, hoping that he would wake up and be restored, similar to those Muggle fairy tales.
He lifted his head up and squeezed his eyes shut, the tears dropping on Gilderoy’s chest in fat drops. “Hello?” Gilderoy’s voice came, confused.
“Hello,” Severus responded curtly, wiping his eyes.
“Who are you?” Gilderoy asked with a silly grin on his face. Severus felt his heart twang painfully at that question.
Your lover, he wanted to respond. Instead he said, “Severus Snape.”
Gilderoy nodded – clearly not recognising the name at all. “Severus Snape? That’s a nice name.” Severus smiled and for a moment, there was an uncomfortable silence. Then, “Who am I again?”
“Gilderoy Lockhart,” Severus said. Gilderoy nodded, looking dreamy and Severus thought of the real answers to that question.
But only one seemed to fit.
* Quote comes from the great movie, the Princess Bride, by Rob Reiner and William Goldman!
Welp. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this? This is definitely something I have never even thought of writing before but I think I pulled it off?
Anyway, thanks for reading!
- Kayla :)
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