Chapter 23 : Tempers
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Sirius was kissing Roxy. He was actually kissing Roxy! It had only been five seconds, but it felt like forever. His heart was beating faster than it ever had before and everything else in the world had disappeared. His worry for James and all thoughts of his family were gone. All that mattered now was her lips against his.
Unfortunately a bang broke him from his bliss. He looked up to see James and Lily walking through the common room door. James had his arm around her. Her face was red and blotchy and James was looking down at her worriedly. His eyes were also slightly red.
Roxy stood up and ran over to Lily.
“Lily! Are you ok!” she asked hugging her.
Lily nodded but kept her head down.
“I’m going to go to bed,” she said quietly through a blocked nose, making her way up the stairs.
“I better go after her, night,” Roxy said blushing and not meeting Sirius’ eyes.
Sirius watched her go and then turned to James.
He forced the smile off his face and turned it into worry. He put his arm around James.
“You ok mate?” he asked.
Sirius knew he was lying. They went over to the marauders chair and sat down.
“What happened?” Sirius asked.
“She was yelling and crying and shaking,” he said quickly, “But I calmed her down and we talked. I apologised and stuff for whatever I did to make her hate me. I dunno, I couldn’t understand half of what she was saying because she was crying, but I think she was just stressed from school, and she mentioned Snape a few times whatever that was about, and apparently my constant nagging made everything worse. Although I explained that it wasn’t nagging. I think she’s forgiven me. I don’t know, she’s so god dam confusing!”
“You’ll just have to wait till tomorrow mate and see what she does,” Sirius said.
He looked up and saw Sirius smiling happily.
“What?” he asked.
“Hmm?” Sirius said, returning his attention to back to James. His mind kept slipping back to Roxy and how soft her lips were.
“What are you so happy about?” James asked suspiciously, “I’m here trying to be deadly serious and I’m quite upset, and you’re there smiling your head off!”
James didn’t say it meanly, but Sirius still felt guilty. He should be paying more attention to James. He needs him.
“Nevermind! Are you ok” Sirius said, trying to keep from smiling. It was harder to do than you may think.
“No, tell me!” James said sitting up straighter, “There’s something you’re dying to tell me! I can tell dude, you can’t hide it from me!”
“No no no, we’re talking about you,” Sirius said, whooshing him away.
James looked at him suspiciously.
A broad grin spread across Sirius’ face. He quickly tried to hide it, but James hit him.
Sirius bit his lip.
James grinned. “You kissed her?”
“Yes!” he said high fiving Sirius.
Sirius blushed deeply, but couldn’t stop smiling.
“Awh look at you grinning!" James teased, “What did she say when you did?”
“Nothing, you guys came in.”
James looked shocked.
“We interrupted you! I’m so sorry! Don’t tell Lily, she’d be too pleased,” James laughed.
“She really doesn’t approve of me does she,” Sirius grinned.
James shook his head, “I don't think she really approves of either of us."
Sirius woke up the next morning smiling. It took him a few minutes to remember why he was so happy, but then he remembered. Roxy.
His smile broadened, then almost immediately disappeared as he spotted James sitting on the window-frame. His head was leaning against the window, he was hugging his knees, and he was looking out onto the grounds of Hogwarts.
Sirius glanced at the clock on the tablebeside his bed. It was 6 o’clock.
Sirius slipped out of bed and walked up beside James.
“Hey,” James whispered, not taking his eyes from outside the window.
“You ok?” Sirius asked.
James nodded and whirled around, “Breakfast?”
Sirius smiled and nodded, and they both walked down to the great hall, still in their pyjamas.
There were a few early risers dotted along the benches, but the room was virtually empty. They slid into their usual spot at the Gryffindor table.
They both poured a bowl of coco pops and ate it in silence.
Sirius finished first. He dropped his spoon down loudly into his bowl and sighed.
“We’re screwed aren’t we?” he said sadly.
“Yes,” James nodded.
Sirius groaned and lay his head down on the table.
“What are we going to do?” he said, his voice muffled.
“Turn gay and get married to each other?” James suggested.
“James would bottom,” said a voice from behind them. They both jumped and turned around.
Roxy was standing there smiling awkwardly.
Sirius grinned at James, nodding suggestively, but James ignored him and turned towards Roxy.
“How’s Lily?” he asked, his brow furrowed with worry.
“I dunno, she’s still asleep. She seemed peaceful,” she said, buttering a piece of toast.
James nodded and stared vacantly into his empty bowl of cereal.
Roxy frowned at him, worried.
"She’ll be ok you know? She just got over whelmed yesterday,” Roxy said softly.
James nodded droopily.
Roxy lay her head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand reassuringly.
“It’ll be ok,” she said quietly.
“You’d better go get dressed, classes start in a few minutes,” Remus said, appearing behind them.
“Can’t we just go like this?” Sirius groaned.
“No,” Remus said, “Go.”
They got up slowly and then raced each other out the door. James was winning by a few feet when he suddenly ducked in behind a statue. Sirius looked at him strangely as he reached the statue.
When Sirius reached the point where James was hiding, James grabbed him and pulled him behind the statue with him.
Sirius gave him a weird look and James put his finger up to his lips, in an attempt to keep Sirius quiet.
Sirius looked around bewildered.
But then the reason for their hiding became clear as Sirius spotted Lily coming towards them from the distance.
“No,” Sirius said angrily.
“No what? Shh!”
“No,” Sirius said simply. He then grabbed James’ shoulders and pushed him out from behind the statue.
James almost fell over and regained himself just as Lily reached the statue. Sirius stayed hidden.
“Hey,” James said shyly.
Lily said nothing. She kept looking down and Sirius would have thought she hadn't seen if if she hadn't then proceeded to hit into his shoulder as she passed.
Sirius watched James' face drop, and even from behind the statue, he could see James’ eyes watering. He came out from behind the statue. He was now extremely angry. There’s no way she could still be mad at him after last night. There was no way she could be. All he said was hi. Sirius was really beginning to hate Lily. She was screwing with James’ head. Whether it was on purpose or not was no longer an issue.
They walked back to the common room in silence, Sirius left James to his thoughts.
They pulled on their robes quickly. Sirius glanced at the clock and saw that it was five to nine.
“Come on, we gotta run,” Sirius said jamming a shoe onto his foot.
James shook his head, “I think I’m gonna hang out here for awhile.”
Sirius stopped struggling with his shoe.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Ok, I’ll see you later.”
He quickly tied his laces and practically ran to his first class. He got there just in time and slipped into his chair, panting.
Roxy leaned over from the seat beside him.
“Where’s James?” she whispered.
"He went back to bed.” Sirius said shortly. He hadn’t meant to speak to her so harshly, but it was partially her fault James was upset. The pie thing had been her idea after all. If she had just kept her stupid idea's to herself, then James would be sitting beside him, as happy as anything. There was nothing Sirius hated more than seeing James upset. Because when James was upset, he was upset. It was just how things worked.
“Why?” she asked timidly.
“Ask her,” he growled pointing towards Lily.
“None of your business,” he snapped.
She looked at him taken aback. But her surprise turned quickly into anger. She leaned forward and whispered harshly into his ear.
“Actually, it’s as much of my dam business as it is yours. I don’t know what your fucking problem is, but if there’s something wrong with James you’re going to fucking tell me.”
He suddenly felt guilty for speaking to her so callously. He relaxed.
“Lily ignored him and knocked into him when he said hi to her in the hallway,” he whispered.
She leaned back in her chair and pretended to pay attention to what the professor was saying. Sirius knew she wasn’t listening though.
She was thinking.
“Couldn’t you say something to her?” Sirius suggested.
“No,” Roxy said pouting and crossing her arms.
Sirius grinned at how cute it made her.
He leaned forward and tried to put on the most puppy-dog-like face he could.
“I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I was just worried about James. Do you forgive me?”
She looked up at him and he thought for a moment she was going to say no, but then her face softened and she nodded.
“I’ll try talk to her,” she sighed.
Sirius nodded sadly.
“He’ll be ok,” she said placing her hand on his.
He turned the palm of his hand around so that it faced hers and he interlocked his fingers with hers.
“I just don’t get why she's got to be such a bitch,” he said quietly.
“She’s not a bitch Sirius, she’s just confused.”
“No, I’m pretty sure she’s a bitch,” he said glaring angrily over in Lily’s direction.
He felt Roxy pull her hand away from his. When he turned around he saw that her arms were re-crossed and she was scowling at him.
“What?” he asked, genuinely oblivious to what he did wrong.
“She has a lot going on right now, there’s no need to be mean.”
“I’m just saying it like I see it. Just because she has emotional problems doesn‘t mean she has to take it out on James,” he shrugged.
Roxy scowled at him.
“What?” he said again.
“Just because your life is so easy it doesn’t mean everyone else’s is,” she hissed.
Sirius gaped at her.
“You think, you think my life’s been easy? You think that everything I’ve went through was easy?” he said bewildered.
“No,” Roxy said leaning forward towards him. Sirius was aware at how very near she was to him. He gulped.
“But you’ve always had an alternative,” she whispered into his ear before leaning back in her chair.
Sirius hadn’t spoken to Roxy since their little chat in class earlier that day. The sun was going down, sending a pink glimmer of light into the common room.
Sirius was sitting in his usual chair by the fire, trying to read over his essay, but kept getting distracted at how Roxy’s hair shone under the sun’s pink glow, and the sound of her laugh that carried across from the other side of the room where she sat with Lily. His stomach squirmed with both guilt and anger.
He still believed in what he said and that he had a right to say it, but she had just sounded so angry at him.
He looked away from her and back down onto his homework, but his mind slipped to James. He hadn’t come out of the room since this morning. He hadn’t even eaten since breakfast. There was no way Sirius would be able to last two hours without food let alone the whole day.
With that thought in mind he snapped closed his book and hurried out of the common room. He couldn’t remember the last time he made this trip alone, but he knew the way like the back of his wand.
James wasn’t sure how long he had been lying in bed, but it felt like an eternity. Judging by how much the suns light streaming through the window had changed, he was pretty sure he had been there for the whole day. He wasn’t sure why he had stayed here. It wasn’t like he wanted to avoid Lily, he just didn’t feel like moving. He tried to sleep, but did not prevail. He tried to study, but why should it work now when it never did before? He had even finished all his homework.
Roxy laughed at something Lily had said, but she wasn’t really listening. Her mind was on Sirius. She couldn’t believe how insensitive he was being. She had really begun to trust him. But what if Lily was right about him all along? What if he really was the arrogant inconsiderate asshole she had warned her he was?
Lily was sitting in the common room talking to Roxy, but she had a feeling Roxy wasn’t even listening. She was being much too vacant all day. Lily was in a good mood today. Her classes had gone well, and her homework was done and she felt a lot less stressed. She had an inkling it was because she had finally cried out everything she was holding back, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind for the time being. She would worry about that and James Potter later.
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by October Crow