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Chapter 1 : I Love Them
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We live in a remote area of the countryside, we have no neighbours and in fact we own pretty much or the land around us, including the Orchard out the back. Mum works in the Department of Magical Games and Sports, as the Head of the HolyHead Harpies, she got the position when she had us. She gets to have a lot of time off because she isn’t needed very often; she has a great team who rarely need her. Although this means that if she is needed to work, it’s urgent. So, as we live in the middle of nowhere she thought it was safe to leave us because she promised she wouldn’t be long. I was 6, Al was 8 and James was 10.
“Jamesy. Can we do something fun?” I asked my big brother
“What sort of fun thing do you want to do?” he replied
“I don’t know. Something fun. Can we go down to the Orchard?” I offered
“Yeah. I’m going to the Orchard” Al stated, in that way cocky way kids do, when they think they’re older than they are
“No. Alby. You can’t go. Mum said not to leave the house” James put his foot down
“But she’s not here!” Al stomped, having a small tantrum
“Can we bake cookies?” I wondered
“No Lils. We can’t use the oven” Al pointed out
“Umm. Can we play hide and seek?” I questioned
“That Lily Pad is a great idea. I’ll count to ten and you can hide. Go! One”
I ran in the opposite direction to Al and sprinted around the labyrinth I call home
Still running trying to think of a place to hide
I tried to get into the ballroom, but it was locked
I ran up the stairs at the end of the hall now on the second floor
Ran some more, trying to think of a new place to hide
Realise I’m on the side of the house I’m not normally allowed in
Try to fly like the wind in order to get out of this part of the house.
Flying like the wind doesn’t work. Strange men come to this part of the house with Daddy.
I need to find somewhere to hide. Fast.
I’m at the end of the hall. But I need to hide.
“Ready or not here I come!”
An arm reaches out and grabs me.
I realise there shouldn’t be anyone home.
I find an ugly, demented smiling face staring at me
“JAMESY” I try to scream but that’s all I can say before a hand from the ugly man reaches out and covers my mouth.
“LILY?” James shouts back
I try to lick the man’s hand.
I think he’ll just pull away.
James and Al always do.
“LILY?” Al shouts as well, it’s louder than James’ cry
I think maybe he’s closer.
That heard the frightened part in my voice.
“I found you! That wasn’t a very good hiding place” James laughs, having found Al
I’m being dragged into a room off the hall.
“Arrrggg” this is all I could say, a muffled sound, not much louder than a mouse I think
“LILY?” Al shouts
“Eeeaaarrr” another muffled sound against the man’s hand
I’m being taken deeper in the room.
The hand is changed for a piece of cloth. It tastes like blood.
He ties me to a chair. It’s uncomfortable.
“LILY? COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE” James screams
I think he must have caught on.
But how can he find me.
“LILY. YOU NEED TO COME OUT NOW. WHAT HAPPENED?” James continues, his voice gets louder
They’re coming near.
I think it’s probably best they stay away.
“Alright darlin’? Now when I take off the thing around your mouth, you won’t shout. Or scream. You will do what I say. Or else” the ugly man says in a frightening way. More men appear.
I think of screaming. I think that this could help.
But then I think of my brothers.
“Jamesy. Albus. That’s not how you play the game!” The ugly man says, expecting me to copy
“Jamesy. Albus. That’s not how you play the game!” My voice is not convincing, he steps in front of me. He looks scarier than before.
“Lily. Where are you? Come out now. You win!” Al replies, unconvinced
“No you have to find me Albus” the ugly man who looks very tired now he is close, decides my reply
“No you have to find me Albus” I repeat, I’m defiantly more convincing this time.
I know they won’t believe me though.
I never call Albus by his own name.
But I have to repeat it.
“Lily? You need to come out now!” James has some authority in his voice
I start to kick.
I cause a sound with my movements
“Lily. Lily?” James repeats my name. Several times.
I can do nothing,
I can hear him.
“Say nothing” the ugly man now changed his mind.
I choose to speak.
“Why?” I sound innocent.
I was innocent
“Why darlin’?’” he’s patronising me, “Because we want revenge”
I hear their voices.
They’re outside in the hallway.
I’m not sure what to do.
“Why?” I ask again
I may have been six
But maybe I could keep the ugly man busy for a while.
“’Cause. You’re Daddy locked me away, some time ago now” he was worse than before
I was more afraid.
I winced when he said “Daddy”.
I tried to look strong.
“My Daddy only puts bad people away” I continue quietly
I think this is bad.
“But darlin’, when did I ever say I was good?” the ugly man jokes
The scary smile was back.
He’s even closer than before.
“Bless you” Al replies without thinking.
“Thank you” I gratefully accept
Something was wrong
The ugly man went into the shadows.
He put his finger to his lips.
He wants me to stay silent.
I think how could this happen.
I think how I can fix this.
“Lily? James, that was Lily’s sneeze. It has to be” Al talks from what sounds like the other side of the door
“Why isn’t she answering then?” James asks, sounding just as close as Al
“I don’t know. James?” Al asks his older brother
They don’t speak for a while.
I wonder why.
Then the door opens.
“Lily? Come out come out wherever you are?” James asks in the light of the hall, peering inside
I remember I’m in the shadows.
I stick my foot out as far as it will go.
I think it’s best they know where I am.
“Lily Pad. We give up. Can you come out now?” James persists, walking further in the room, Al follow him
The ugly man’s friend closes the door.
And another man closes the curtains.
It turns pitch black.
I squeal slightly.
I hear a struggle.
The curtains open again.
“Oh. Aren’t we lucky. Look ‘ere darlin’, your brothers have come to play!” the ugly man smiles, that sickly smile at me again.
Al and James are in the position as me.
Only they have the cloth in their mouths.
I remember the taste of blood.
“Why?” again, I am innocent.
I am vulnerable.
I am no longer alone.
“ILLLYYY” a mumbled sound comes from James
“EEELLLPPP” a cry for help comes from Al, just as mumbled.
The ugly man and his friends laugh.
Not in a good way.
He’s scarier when he laughs.
“’Cause now darlin’, we have you all. Revenge is a lot sweeter in bulk” he talks about this again, I’m still confused
“Revenge?” I seek information.
I look at Al and James.
There struggle has stopped.
They’re watching me.
“You don’t know nuffing do you darlin’? I’m going to get pay back. Your Daddy will pay”.
I still don’t understand.
I think of what to do.
I don’t know.
“Nobody says a word unless I say” the ugly man takes the cloth off from around my brother’s mouth.
“You first darlin’, Hey Daddy!” the ugly man continues
“Hey Daddy!” I say, as convincingly as possible.
I don’t do well.
The ugly man isn’t happy.
He moves onto Al.
“Where are you guys?” Daddy asks into the house.
“You’re up kid. Lily! We’re playing hide and seek. Don’t give us away!” the ugly man gets close to Al.
I feel sorry for him.
I hope he does well.
I think everything’s got scarier again.
“Lily! We’re playing hide and seek. Don’t give us away!” Al shouts to Dad
He’s pretty good.
He looks frightened.
He looks at me and appears to relax.
I know he’s lying.
“Hey guys! Mummy’s home!” Mummy shouts into the house
Now Mummy and Daddy are home.
Both of them together.
Everything will be okay.
“Okay. Both home. Kid you better do well.” The ugly man starts to talk to James.
James looks green.
He looks like he’s going to be sick.
“Hi Mum. We’re playing” the ugly man asks him to repeat
“Hi Mum. We’re playing” James repeats
It sounds pretty good.
He looks awful.
He looks at me and smiles slightly.
“Gin? Where’d you go? I thought you were here with the kids?” Daddy shouts through the house again
“Harry? Why are home so early? I popped...” Mummy shouts back until I guess she comes into contact with Daddy.
Everything goes quiet.
The ugly man just keeps looking at us all.
Almost asking for us to say something.
“Kids? Where are you?” Daddy shouts again
I look at Al and James.
They both shake their heads.
I think maybe it’s best they know where we are.
I think I have to ignore them.
“James?” Mummy shouts
I look at James.
I look concerned.
The ugly man steps in the way.
I look away.
“Alb? Where are you mate?” Daddy shouts up to us.
I think they’re getting closer.
I look towards Al.
The ugly man is still in the way.
He’s now in between Al and James now.
“Lils? Where are you playing? You know you’re not meant to be in this part of the house baby girl” Mummy shouts again
I think they’re even closer.
They’re in the right side of the house at least.
Nothing answers them.
They carry on shouting.
They kick too.
Then there’s panic in their voices.
“JAMES. ALBUS. LILY! THIS IS YOUR MOTHER SPEAKING. ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW. WHERE ARE YOU?” Mummy shouts once more.
I decide I need to answer.
Al and James have created a distraction.
“MUMMY! DADDY! HELP US!” I scream, possibly louder than I ever have before.
“LILY? YOU ALRIGHT?” Daddy now shouts.
“DADDY! HELP US! MU...” I screamed again.
I can’t finish though.
The cloth is back.
It tastes like blood.
And now my spit.
Al and James are back up.
“LILY? LILY?” Mummy’s shouting again.
She’s close though.
I hear slamming of doors.
I think they must be checking every room.
The door flings open.
Everyone’s in the shadows though.
James and Al are now on the floor.
I can see them clearly.
So can Mummy.
“Mummy and Daddy are here. Don’t worry kids. It’s alright.”
I hear the sound of spells.
Not the normal ones though.
They are also scary.
Then I get knocked out.
I remember nothing else.
Until I woke up...
“She’ll be fine. Don’t worry boys. The healers say she’ll wake up anytime now” Daddy says
I can hear crying.
I think it’s Mummy.
I try to open my eyes.
It doesn’t work.
“Ginny. Look. Her eyes are fluttering” Daddy says
“Lily honey? Lily?”
“Mummy?” I manage to whisper.
"Harry!" Mummy squeals slightly
She moves away from me.
I hear her crying more.
“Lily pad?” a timid James speaks
“Jamesy” I whisper
I open up my eyes.
I see Mummy.
She’s holding my hand.
I see Jamesy.
He’s close to my face.
But not too close.
He looks worried.
I see Alby.
He’s next to Jamesy.
He looks worried too.
“My little Lily Luna! I’m so sorry. I left you. I’m so so sorry. I’ll never leave you again. I promise” Mummy apologises.
She pulls me into a hug.
She’s still crying.
She’s slightly suffocating me.
I think there isn’t anything I can say.
I start crying too.
She lets go and just looks at me, trying to be strong.
“Lily Pie. You’re going to be okay. You got hit by a curse someone threw in the mess of things. But everything’s going to be fine. You’ll be up and running in no time! You just need rest.” Daddy tries to convince me
I think he’s lying.
I don’t believe him.
I realise I’m in bed
There’s an annoying noise coming from somewhere.
It’s making my head hurt.
“Mummy. That noise is making my head hurt. Make it stop please” I ask, my head hurts more now I think about it.
“Baby girl I can’t turn it off. We need to keep it running for a while. It's sorting everything out. It tells us if someone's coming.”
I didn’t understand how.
“Oh. Okay” I say, “I don’t understand. What happened?” I get frustrated.
I’m thoroughly confused.
I don’t remember after I blanked out.
What happened after that?
Nobody answers me.
“What happened after you came to help?” I look between Mummy and Daddy.
“Well. We stopped the bad guys Lils. And now they’re going to be locked up, so they can’t hurt you anymore” Mummy speaks in a soft voice, squeezing my hand.
“Everything is going to be okay” Daddy repeats.
I still don’t believe him.
I think he says it so he thinks it’s true.
But the ugly man said he got away once.
Can’t he do it again?
“But Daddy. The ugly man said he got away from the bad place before” I say to him.
“Lily. Did he speak to you? A lot?” Daddy replies, he looks worried.
He can tell.
“Boys. Can you go outside for a bit?” Daddy asks.
“We heard him too” Al spoke.
I don’t understand why.
“You did? Is that right James?” Ginny asks
She let’s go of my hand.
She brings a seat very close to my bed.
I think why she brought in a dining room chair.
She lifts James up onto the bed next to me.
She sits on the seat.
She lifts Al onto her lap.
She regains the hold she had on my hand.
While this happens, James replies, “Yes”
I was worried.
I leant on James shoulder.
“What did he tell you?” Daddy is even more worried.
“That he wanted revenge” Al spoke again.
No one gasped this time.
“He said you would pay” James added.
Daddy’s face is still worried.
Mummy’s face is still worried.
But it’s different now.
She’s bobbing her leg.
Al is going up and down.
It’s making me dizzy.
I feel tired.
I fall asleep.
It’s night time the next time my eyes flicker.
Jamesy is gone.
Al is gone.
Mummy is next to me still.
Daddy is next to her.
They are talking.
“Ginny. What are we going to do? I never thought they’d be at risk” Daddy speaks into the darkness.
The annoying noise hasn’t stopped.
My head hurts less though.
“I know Harry. I know. I never thought anything like this would happen either. I thought we were safe” Mummy replies
I knew this was bad.
I think it must be worse than I think.
They still don’t know I’m awake.
“We’ll have to get rid of them. Put them into a high security vault or something. We can’t cut the three of them off for the rest of their lives. It’s important that they live in safety. Without worry.” Daddy continues
He’s talking about us.
We need to live in safety.
“I know. Maybe, they won’t be able to. This is a traumatic experience Harry. You still have nightmares. So will they. I mean. Al didn’t speak until Lily woke up. It’s affected them. I can’t believe this happened.” Mummy says
She sounds sad.
Will I have nightmares?
Al didn’t speak.
That’s why they gasped.
I understand more.
“We’ll be there to help them Gin. Everything will be okay” Daddy says
He repeats himself again.
I believe him more now.
I understand more.
“I love you Mummy. I love you Daddy” I say.
I fall asleep once more.
When I woke again, everything was back to normal. I talked to Mummy and Daddy and they helped me get through the times when I was little. The nightmares went away for a while. But they always came back.
As James got older, Mummy and Daddy trusted him to look after Al and I more often. My nightmares always came back when this happened. But every time it did, both Al and James, both of which would feel just as uneasy, would join me in my bed. I have a double bed and it may be a squeeze although it’s only ever for a night. We take it a night at a time.
I find the more people in the house the better. When James went to Hogwarts, it got a bit more difficult, but I can always put my faith into Al, it makes sense. I love them both so much. I prefer having both of them, although one of them is just as good.
When Al went to Hogwarts, really up until Christmas, everything was difficult. I would have nightmares a lot. For a while I had to sleep with Mum and Dad, then for a while, James and Al would come once a week to be with me while I slept.
In the end. Mum and Dad took me to a psychologist. That’s how I learnt to deal with the nightmares without my brothers or my Mum or Dad. I still get them occasionally. Although I can’t bet on my brothers being available for me, so I created something else to help.
I walk around the castle. I normally go up to the Astronomy tower, sometimes the room of requirement if it’s cold. If that doesn’t work. I try my brothers. If that doesn’t work. I go and see my godfather, Neville Longbottom. He’s the only one outside my family who knows. And he’ll talk to me throughout the night if I need him.
I love him like he’s my second dad.
He’s always there for me.
Just as much as my brothers.
But my brothers will always be the centre of my world.
I need them.
I love them.
A/N- Hey Guys! Hope you enjoyed this. It's all a bit sensitive. I know. And I'm sorry. Please leave me a review! It means a lot. Thanks for reading! ScoroseOTP xxx
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