Chapter 19 : Chapter 19 - Hogsmeade: The Date
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“What happened between you and Sirius?” he’d asked me.
“Why does everyone assume it was me?” I replied offended.
“Because we all know it was you. What happened?” he asked again impatiently.
“He told me he was going to leave me alone.” I’d answered eventually, after a few minutes of silence.
Then I’d walked away. They hadn’t talked to me since, especially when I was around Matt. We were still ‘dating’ and most people had forgotten about it by now, including Marlene, she was talking to me again but whenever topic changed to me and Matt, she’d turn into the Ice Queen.
Oh well, it showed to Matt that his jealously plan was working. My alarm, set at 9am, woke me up loudly as I prepared for the date into Hogsmeade today. My outfit was set out on my bed as I quickly took a shower and washed my face. Then I pulled my outfit on, a pair of black disco pants, a thick, navy, V-neck jumper and frayed military boots to ‘add character’ I said to Lily.
“Are you all set?” Lily said emerging from the bathroom; her hair was wet as well. Much to everyone’s surprise (And I mean everyone, including James), she’d agreed to go to Hogsmeade with him on a date. I was pretty sure they’d come back boyfriend and girlfriend but I was holding out on my bet with Marlene, Emma and Alice.
“Yeah, will you be able to style my hair for me?” I asked politely, sitting in front of the floor length mirror, pulling my hair out of the towel.
“Sure, what do you want?” she asked, brushing through my hair gently.
“Can you curl it all? And then pin this side of my hair to the side.” I described, pointing to the side of my hair behind my bangs.
“Do you want your bangs pinned or free?” she asked quietly, everyone else was still asleep.
“Free please.” I replied smiling up at her happy face. She got to work and after 20 minutes, she was done. I studied my hair in the mirror and it looked amazing,
“Wow, I love it! Thanks Lils!” I whisper-squealed, before turning around and putting mascara, eyeliner and some lip balm on. I wasn’t a big make-up wearer.
“What should I wear? My dress with cotton leggings or jeans and a woolly top?” Lily asked from her bed.
“I think the dress with leggings and your fluffy boots.” I replied, looking at both outfits carefully. She slipped them on and studied herself in the mirror, she looked absolutely radiant. The dress was a green skater dress with long sleeves and it looked so cute with cream, cotton leggings and her grey fluffy boots. She decided on taking a small grey cardigan with her just in case it got cold.
“What should I do with my hair?” she twiddled a wet strand around her fingers, “I was thinking a side plait but I was also thinking about leaving it down.” She murmured.
“Let me see what they both look like.” She obliged after drying her hair and I told her that she best suited it down and wavy.
“James would be beside himself trying not to jump you.” I giggled lightly as she fussed over the date, she blushed at my comment, “You’ll be fine Lily, he’ll be a perfect gentleman.” I reassured her; we grabbed some gloves and a scarf each and headed downstairs to meet our lads. Matt was waiting beside Alice, who was in Ravenclaw with him.
“Hey Alice!” I nodded brightly in their direction before coming to a stand-still beside Matt.
“Kataryna!” she chorused happily, “I’ve not seen you in ages!” she reached forward for a hug.
“If you so much as mess up that hair Alice, I will not be responsible for my actions!” Lily’s voice called across the Entrance Hall, I spun around to face her. She was stood next a speechless James, Sirius, Peter and Remus.
Obviously, the other Marauders were going off together to give Lily and James some privacy. Matt’s arm came around my waist and pulled me off to the side, my eyes locked for the first time in two weeks with Sirius’ and he gave me a small smile, which I returned.
“You look pretty today.” Matt said kindly, I knew he meant it but he was too caught up on how amazing Marlene looked, that he was losing concentration. Similar to me then, it was the first time I’d seen Sirius and he looked different in some way. Like he was there but his mind wasn’t. Our eyes shared some secret conversation until Matt pulled me towards Hogsmeade and it was disconnected.
“You look handsome yourself.” I smiled distractedly up at him. He nodded his head as we wandered down in silence.
“When do you think we should stop this façade? It doesn’t seem to be working.” I eventually asked, not liking the silence that permeated the air around us.
“Trust me, it is. Better than I thought it would.” He smiled mischievously down at me, “I’ll know when it’s time to end this, trust me.” He reassured me.
We reached the outskirts of the town and he decided to give me a tour but we never went out of sight of Marlene, Emma and Alice. We cuddled, we snuggled, we did all that couple-y stuff but I couldn’t help but want this experience to be with Sirius and it felt so wrong to me.
I wondered what it would be like if it was Sirius holding my hand now, rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand, kissing my cheek when I smiled or pulling me into a warm hug when I shivered. When it was lunch time, Matt had finished the tour and we decided to go to The Three Broomsticks just at the same time that The Marauders, minus James, decided to.
We all stopped at the door uncomfortably, Matt with his arms around me, Sirius looking between us and Remus looking between me and Sirius.
“Ahem. You’re blocking the doorway.” A croaky voice from an old lady said, shaking us all out of our awkwardness. This meant that we could go through the door before them and find one of the last tables.
“Mind if we join you?” Remus asked quietly when we settled in. Matt nodded kindly, and then turned with a knowing smirk to me. It was still frustrating me that he wouldn’t tell me, he kept persisting that I figure it out but if I didn’t know anything about it in the first place, how am I meant to figure anything out?
It’s like an equation, I have the numbers but how am I meant to work it out without the correct method? There’s no way I’d come out with any correct answer. During my musings, I hadn’t noticed that Sirius had slipped in beside me and had rested his hands on the table.
My breathing became incredibly shallow, my heartbeat picking up as I remembered the last time our bodies were touching. Remus followed in next to him, then Peter and James and Lily had apparently decided to come here for lunch too because they somehow joined us but I wasn’t paying attention.
I was trying to not notice that Sirius’ hands were now on his lap, inching closer to my legs under the table ever so slightly.
“Ry, do you want a butterbeer?” Lily’s voice broke my stare and I looked at her,
“Yes please.” My voice sounded husky and raspy, which I cursed myself for. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the corners of Sirius’ mouth twitch slightly as if he knew why my voice was like that.
“Okay, be back in a minute.” She said, pulling James along to help her bring back all the drinks.
“So, what’ve all you lot been doing today?” Matt tried to make conversation but I was staying quiet, he had no idea what Sirius was doing under the table and I felt so guilty. Speaking of his hand, his pinkie was now fully on my leg and my muscles spasmed a little.
“Went to Shrieking Shack for a bit, Zonko’s and now here.” Sirius smirked, feeling my leg twitch.
“Cool, we went on a tour, didn’t we Ry?” Matt directed at me. All I did was nod, I didn’t trust myself to open my mouth because I’m pretty sure I would some sort of strangled animal sound.
My arms stayed firmly on the table but I wished I could move them onto my lap without attracting any attention; I wanted to halt Sirius’ movement before he did anything serious.
Lily and James came to the rescue with the drinks; I leaned forward, grabbed the drink with both hands and leaned back placing my left hand on my lap, stopping Sirius from going any further. No-one suspected anything and I didn’t have to answer any questions as I took small sips of my drink.
“So, how’s your date going Ry?” James asked me directly as I took a big gulp of butterbeer.
“Really good actually, I’m having a lot of-.” I stopped short as Sirius pinkie and ring finger grabbed my hand. I really should have thought this through.
“Having a lot of what?” James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, which made me blush.
“Fun.” That didn’t make me sound any better either. I groaned going red as a beetroot.
“What sort of fun?” Peter joined in innocently, making everyone chuckle at him. He looked at us genuinely confused before he finally got it and blushed too.
I drowned out the rest of the conversation as the rest of Sirius’ hand slipped through my fingers so we were fully holding hands under the table, unbeknownst to everyone else. I don’t know why but I was holding his hand back, I felt incredibly guilty towards Matt because we were meant to be ‘dating’ but it felt right for his hands to be in mine.
He squeezed it slightly and I took another big gulp of butterbeer, he leaned over slightly to place his drink on the table but I managed to catch him whispering,
“You look breath-taking today.” Before he sat back as if he hadn’t said anything. As if my heart could take anymore, it was beating so fast I’m sure this was what a heart attack felt like.
Great, I was dying just because of Sirius. We stayed in there for 2 hours, holding hands under the table whilst everyone was joking with each other. I never joined in the conversation unless someone spoke directly to me and I had to answer, it was like I was back to my old self.
Sirius’ thumb started rubbing circles into the back of my hand and the combination of the warmth and the reassurance of it made me feel a lot more relaxed. When someone brought up a topic I liked, I joined in and laughed along with them as I got used to Sirius’ thumbs rhythmic movements on the back of my hand.
“We should probably be heading back.” Matt sighed, upset that he never got to speak to Marlene properly.
“Okay.” I answered, instantly letting go of Sirius’ hand and feeling cold. We squeezed out of the pub and started walking back,
“Have you figured it out yet?” Matt asked with that smug face again.
“Figured out what?!” I yelled, fed up with this, plus I was kind of upset that Sirius hadn’t come with me instead of Matt.
“Jesus, you are so dense! How can you not see it? I’d think what happened in the pub was pretty obvious?!” he raised his voice slightly as if he was getting fed up with my obliviousness. My blood drained from my face as I realised he saw everything with Sirius.
“You… you saw that?!” I whispered, extremely guilty and stupid.
“I think nearly everyone on the table saw that! You weren’t exactly being inconspicuous!” he exclaimed, rolling his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I tried to stop it, I put my hand there but he must have thought that I wanted to hold his hand.” I stared at the ground, kicking the stones in front of me.
“What? Didn’t you want to hold his hand?” he asked looking at me confused.
“No… well, yes… no… I don’t know!” I sighed confused, “It felt right, but all I could think of what the fact you were there!” I explained.
“You’re not falling in love with me, are you?” he asked worriedly.
“GOD NO!” I widened my eyes in panic, “No offense! I meant, I felt guilty because you’re my ‘boyfriend’ and it wasn’t fair to you.” He seemed to relax at this.
“Good because I think we need to break it off.” He said simply, I had noticed that the majority of students were now walking back to Hogwarts and this was the perfect time to make a scene.
“What?! You’re breaking up with me?” I whispered loudly. This made some students stop and look in a shop window or pretend to be looking for something they dropped whilst listening.
“Yes, I’m sorry but it’s not just working. We’re nothing alike, we can still be-.” He went to say but I cut him off,
“Don’t say ‘we can still be friends’ because we won’t!” I replied harshly, the fake tears appearing in the corners of my eyes.
“We will, I promise! I just don’t think it’s good idea to be together anymore, it was a fun date and whoever gets you in the future will be a lucky guy.” He walked forward as the tears spilled over onto my cheek, he went to touch my shoulder but I shied away and ran off to the castle.
Then I ran up to my dorm, wiped away the tears and commended myself on my brilliant acting. Lily and Marlene came rushing up to see if I was alright but I quietly explained that Matt was right and that Marlene would be better for him than I was.
“No, I can’t! He just broke up with you! It wouldn’t feel right!” she said vehemently.
“Marlene, trust me… I’m not all upset or heartbroken, I’m perfectly alright.” I smiled to show how happy I was, she still refused to go and find him so I decided to. I found him waiting in a classroom on the fourth floor,
“Brilliant acting there Ry!” he smiled when I walked in.
“Well, you know. I praise my ability to cry on demand.” I raised my nose in the air, snobbishly.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too big-headed. What did Marlene say?” he asked eagerly, I would be offended but I thought of Matt as a close friend so it was alright.
“She doesn’t want to make a move on you seen as you’ve just ‘broken up with me’.” I said rolling my eyes, “So don’t be all pally-pally with her until after about 2 weeks. Even then just the occasional hi, to me as well.” I planned out.
“That means we won’t be able to talk for two weeks.” Matt said a little perturbed.
“It’s okay, we’ll talk in Potions but we have to make sure it’s discreet.” I said, smiling slightly before heading back to my dorm. On the sixth floor, I passed a group of young third year girls who were all gossiping, when I walked past they ceased and just stared at me curiously until I had turned a corner. Unknown to them, I stayed around the corner and listened in to their conversation,
“Yeah, apparently she was going out with that Ravenclaw dude but she’s secretly seeing, like, five other lads on the side. That’s why he dumped her because he caught her snogging someone else.” A high pitched girl exclaimed to the others, who all gasped scandously.
It was terribly clichéd. If I wasn’t used to random rumours every now and then, I’d be angry that this rumour had even started but I knew that if I neither confirmed nor denied it like I used to, it would go away and people would forget about it again. I made my way out of the double doors in the Entrance Hall, instead of going back to my dorm room like I told myself I was going to.
The cold wind of February whipped through my still curly hair and I pulled my arms around myself to keep warm, I spotted the birch tree by the Black Lake and perched myself on a dry patch of grass. My head leaned against the trunk of the tree and my eyes flitted shut so I could daydream.
A loud bark woke me up suddenly and judging by the sky, it was nearly dinner. How long had I been asleep for? The bark sounded again but closer, I searched for the source and found a huge, shabby, black dog warily making its way towards me as if trying to figure out if I’m dangerous or not.
“Hey! I’m not dangerous, I won’t hurt you.” I cooed gently, holding my hand for it to smell. It immediately bounded towards me, licking my hands and face.
“Awwww, you’re such a cutie! Who’s your owner, eh?” I asked. It whined slightly, sitting down and placing its head on my stomach. “You don’t have an owner? How about I’ll be your owner? Would you like that?” I scratched behind its ear and its tail started wagging. It barked loudly and looked almost as if it were smiling, which I thought was odd.
“Are you a boy or girl? You look like a girl to me.” I pondered, a snarl told me that it almost definitely was not a girl, “Okay, so not a girl? What should I name you? Fluffy?” I snickered at the name and he agreed with a growl that it wasn’t his favourite either,
“Cuddles? Snuggles? SNUFFLES?” I roared with laughter, each time he snarled or growled, “Ooh, you’re a picky dog… okay. I’m definitely calling you Snuffles now.” He snarled but it seemed to be joking because the next second it was affectionately licking my cheek.
“Okay, that’s enough of that.” I teased, pushing him away slightly, “You’re very affectionate for a stray dog.” I stared at the colour of his eyes and recognised that it was the same colour as Sirius’,
“Everything always comes back to him,” I admitted out loud, “If it’s not your eye colours, it’s rumours or James asking what happened or Lily and Marlene sneaking glances at me every time his name is mentioned. Plus there’s this whole thing of me needing to figure something out, I don’t know what it is!” I thumped my head angrily on the stump of the tree.
Snuffles lifted his head and rubbed it along my chin, trying to comfort me then placed his head back on my stomach, “Thanks Snuffles, it’s just Matt started this whole thing. We weren’t even dating, he went out with me to make Marlene jealous and told me that I could make someone else jealous but I don’t know who? Who would ever like me? I’m just a monster, if a guy ever got close to me, he’d probably run off screaming to the hills, repulsed by me. Not that I mind, this is what happens when you get close to someone, you know.” I rambled before going quiet. Snuffles lifted his head again to check if I was alright, I continued to stroke his massive back and tickling his ear occasionally.
“I miss him, you know. In the morning he would always make me laugh, no matter what mood I was in and would sling his arm over my shoulder. I miss that. I miss his constant changing moods and as much as I say that annoys me, it doesn’t, I love it! It gets boring when someone’s predictable, it’s always so exciting when he’s in a different mood… plus it lets me get another look at a different Sirius. It’s interesting.” I admitted, out loud for the first time.
“Today was… weird. He hadn’t talked to me in two weeks, and he just decided to affect me like that, even if it was just holding my hand. It felt right, oh Snuffles, what am I gonna do? I can’t just explain any of that to him, he doesn’t even like me? Or, if he does? It’s probably not even as strong as what I feel for him, I don’t want to get my heartbroken.” I whispered my head in my hands. “Anyway, I need to go to dinner. It’s getting late; I’ll meet you tomorrow, yeah? Same time, same place?” I smiled down at Snuffles, kissing him on the head and scratching behind his ear one last time.
I made it just in time to look as if I was walking with the crowd and joined Lily and James (who had now become a couple).
“Damn it!” I muttered, getting up with Marlene and Emma to pay Alice our bet money.
“Where you betting on us?!” Lily exclaimed shocked.
“Yeah, wish I didn’t now. Just cost me ten galleons.” I moaned, I looked at James to see him smirking at me.
“When did you say we’d get together that cost you so much money?” he asked.
“After April Fool’s Day, I thought you’d be all romantic and play a practical joke, you’d shout at him and then kiss and get together.” I explained my logic, Lily was laughing at how preposterous that was whilst James was actually considering it.
“Not a bad idea, I wish I’d done that now.” He said sadly.
“So do I.” I answered sarcastically.
“Well, at least we’re together now.” Lily snuggled into the crook of his arm whilst he kissed the top of her head.
“Which, to be honest, I’d never thought would happen. Ever.” Came Sirius’ loud voice from down the table. He walked effortlessly, with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, down to where we were sat and slid in next to James.
“What’s got you so happy?” James asked suspiciously.
“Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about Prongs.” He replied happily and began eating like there was no tomorrow.
“Boys are so strange.” I muttered to Lily, who agreed, watching her now boyfriend, shovel food in exactly the same way as Sirius was.
A/N: Hmmm... so, tell me what you think? Is everything happening too fast? Or too slow? Or just right? I really wanna know your feedback.
Lots of love, Aimee
They were both so perfect for each other and I was so happy that Lily finally realised it.
“Glad you think so Ry.” James’ voice shook me out of my thoughts and I blushed crimson.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” I groaned, slamming my head onto the table.
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