Chapter 1 : run boy, run.
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People who’ve been in love usually do.
It’s in their nature.
The world was spinning and you were falling. You stumble and try to steady yourself but land face first into the snow.
And that’s when the tears come, the realization that she would never be yours, that you were too slow, too stupid.
It was three Christmases ago. His time with her would always be measured in Christmases. The season of love, of heartbreak.
Heartbreak would come, just much later. They of course didn’t know that then.
He watched her from a distance, her soberness intriguing him. An aura surrounded her, and he stood watching. She had always been quiet, a stereotypical Ravenclaw, bookish and solitary. Her round glasses were perched on the edge of her nose, as if ready to devour a good novel. Teddy smiled because though she was a Weasley, she looked so out of place at her own family’s gathering. It could’ve been then when she became inked onto his heart.
You knock furiously on the door, not even bothering to dry yourself. You had never been here before. There was a certain feeling lingering with the fear of rejection. But you need to know where she is. You need to know.
Thoughts shattered as the door opens. You pray silently and a figure approaches.
“Lupin,” the voice states in disgust.
“Hugo,” you splutter.
It was difficult, deciding whether or not to approach her. Teddy saw her at every gathering, but never really talked to her. Either he was busy being rampaged by young Lily, or bogged down by pretending to be Victoire’s boyfriend.
Really, you would think what with his experience with girls he would actually know how to deal with this stuff.
“Hey,” he greeted. Teddy flashed a smile and played with his hands. Her eyes looked up at him and she smiled rather forcefully, and pushed her glasses back.
“You look awfully alone,” he remarked. He never quite had filters. And yes, he knew that.
She grimaced. “That’s because I am, aren’t I?”
“Well yes, I suppose.”
Celestina Warbeck’s voice did little to drain out the awkward tension that had formed around them. He sighed and took to playing with the zipper on his jumper, sliding it up and down the path, opening and closing it. He got bored and tried to strike up a conversation with her again. “How’s school?”
Teddy scoffed. “Obviously. I mean, how are the classes?”
She sighed and rolled her eyes.
You stand facing him and it scares you, how much younger he is, but how much more power he holds. The information he holds.
“Do you really love her?” was a question you were not expecting.
You gulp and nod vigorously. “Yes, absolutely.”
“She could do better,” he says in spite. You fight from differing and keep your mouth shut. “But you can’t. Ever. Keep that in mind.”
A lump forms in your throat. He is absolutely right. You nod to show you understand and watch as his eyes soften. “Tonight. She’s supposed to be taking a Portkey tonight, from work. Some Muggle town in Scotland...”
Your clammy hands pat him on his shoulders. “Thank you.”
It was a spur of the moment type thing.
“You – you complete –"
Her hands were raised and Teddy dodged to avoid any contact. “Please, as if you didn’t enjoy it!” he whispered loudly. “Anyway, I had no choice, it was a bloody mistletoe!”
“So?” she whispered. By now she had taken out her wand and Teddy was very scared. The things he’d heard from James and Al were frightening. “I could’ve done a spell, or called mum –"
“For a Ravenclaw you’re not very bright now are you love?” he teased. “You can’t move under a mistletoe!”
“Just shut up, Lupin! Why don’t you go snog Victoire or something?”
Teddy wrinkled his nose as his hair turned bright red to match hers, as it always did when he was about to lie. “Victoire, gross. She’s rubbish, don’t like Victoire.” Okay, so that wasn’t true. Teddy loved Victoire – as a friend, of course. Victoire didn’t particularly like males, and he found that out the hard way.
“You look ugly in red,” she remarked, her right brow arched.
And you look beautiful in red.
A week later they are lying side by side, cheeks flushed, chests heaving.
“That was fun,” she observed. She adjusted her body and propped up on her arms. “I totally won though.”
Teddy shook his head. “You wish Weasley.”
She snorted. “Please Lupin, you were crying for your mother when my snowball hit you –"
“That’s strange Weasley, I was under the impression that my mother was dead.”
There was a silence that he didn’t understand. He wasn’t bitter about their deaths, he never had been. He didn’t even understand why the angry retort slipped from his tongue.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. She breathed carefully, and he turned to look at her.
“Don’t be, I’m not,” he replied. She scooted over and he could almost feel the intimacy between them.
“I’ve never had a friend like you before Ted,” she sighed. “You’re crazy and it drives me insane.”
You’re crazy and I love it so much.
“You should, you know, love yourself.”
“What the hell?”
“You don’t, but you should,” he mused. "You deserve to be loved. Tell me, how does it feel to be so awesome?” Her face burned at his words. “Look,” he whispered, his eyes scanning her face. “You’re blushing.”
“This is so awkward,” she replied, rolling her eyes.
“You shush,” she pouted.
He was going to do it, maybe.
They stood outside after sneaking out of the Burrow. The party was still terrible, filled with laughter and games. She had still felt out of place, so they had left.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, and he concentrated hard on keeping his flesh to stay the same colour.
“Is that yes as in, ‘yes you have a boyfriend’ or is that yes as in, ‘yes you’ll go out with me’?”
“Real subtle Lupin,” she laughed. It was beautiful.
“Well, I do try hard.”
“I could be reading,” she whined.
He had brought her to his office’s summer party. Being a Curse Breaker was fun and all, but he had to admit his colleagues weren’t that great. He leaned over and poked her on the cheek with his index finger. She looked over at him amusingly and smiled.
She played with her glasses and by then even he was bored. Teddy had hoped that maybe his first time taking her out in public as his date would be more amusing, but this was far too classy for them.
He turned to look at her, his teeth playfully biting his lip. “Run away with me?” Her eyes glistened with excitement.
“Wherever you want.”
“With you, Lupin,” she whispered, grabbing his hand. “Any day.”
I hope I can call you Lupin one day, Weasley.
“Your smile,” he said.
“What about it?”
“Thanks,” she muttered.
Her neck was awkwardly bowed as she made tea, and Teddy wrapped his arms around her waist. Her head leaned back into his, her face being nuzzled by his own. “So what are you getting me for Christmas?” she asked him.
“Something good, I think,” he murmured into her skin. It was rough because she didn’t moisturize, Teddy was sure she didn’t even know how. But he didn’t mind, he liked it that way.
“If it’s makeup like last time, I swear –"
He moved to face her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Weasley?”
“I think we should kiss a little right now. It would be fascinating.”
In that moment, he let his lips meet hers. There was a lot he could do, a lot he could say. He could tell her he loved her, that it had always been her. But he didn’t.
And then he came.
“Scorpius Malfoy,” she had said.
Indeed it was. Teddy leaned over her in an attempt to view the visitor at the door. He had seen him a lot, obviously. Malfoy was Al’s close friend and even Lily’s boyfriend for a while. He looked the same as always, startling blond hair and sickening pale skin. Teddy crinkled his nose as he watched them hug a bit hard, and much too long.
Your eyes twinkled at Scorpius, Weasley.
“We should drink. Yes, yes we should.”
He watched her stumble as she tried to take her boots off, and rushed forward to steady her. He didn’t say anything, because he knew she didn’t want his words. Words would not bring back the dead. Words would not bring back her dad.
“Why does life suck so much, Ted?” she asked him, laughing manically. He knew her, and so he understood the pain behind the laughter. It was strange for him to smell the bitter remains of vodka on her skin instead of soap. It was too strange, too foreign. Too sad.
“Let’s get you in bed,” he said quietly. She shook her head.
“Weasley,” he whispered, then once more but softer – “It’s okay to be in pain sometimes.”
“I was in bed an hour ago...” she mused, giggling. “Scorpius is hot, Ted. So hot.”
Words couldn’t bring back the dead but they could punch guts and destroy hearts. He carried her in his arms, and wanted to let go, let her drop, and let her body smash against the floor. She had betrayed him. But he didn’t, and carefully placed her on their bed.
He slept on the couch that night.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes pooling with water. His stomach lurched. “Dad... I needed to drink...”
“It’s okay,” Teddy replied in a clipped tone.
He felt weird, thinking about now and then. How they used to be and how they were now. His hair had been the same dull brown for the last month. For the first time, he felt bare. He was always so kind to her.
He loved her.
I still love you.
“What’s your problem?” she shouted. Your eyes twinkled at him, your eyes twinkled at him.
“Oh please,” he muttered.
They were standing in their bedroom. Or perhaps just her bedroom now because Teddy never entered it any more. His bedroom was now the living room and the couch. This was not the first time she had called him out on it. But he had had enough.
“Leave, please,” he begged.
“You were never like this,” she whispered. “What did I do wrong? You’re so different, so bitter.” I am not bitter, I am not bitter.
He snorted. What hadn’t she done wrong? “‘Scorpius is hot, Ted. So hot,’” he mocked. He watched her facial expression
stay the same.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Leave, now,” he pleaded. This was what heartbreak does to you. It was like forgetting something, and the disbelief that followed. This was heartbreak.
You are running past people. You are running between halls. You are running for her.
He drank, a lot. All the time, in fact. He no longer smelled clean, but reeked of alcohol. He liked it that way, obviously. He had taken to staying at home, simply refusing to go to work. Curse Breaking could wait. Teddy tried avoiding the knocks on the door. Their door – no, his door.
“Go away,” he slurred. “Blegh – this is rubbish.” He tried (and failed) to get up, but eventually got to the door. He wished he hadn’t opened it, finding himself pinned to the wall.
“This is a bit... close?” he joked.
“Shut up, Lupin,” his visitor said angrily.
You see red hair and keep on running.
“Nooo, you shut up! You and your stupid family, Malfoys are so stupid...” Teddy mumbled, his head lolling.
“You made her cry,” he said.
“She deserves it,” Teddy spat.
“Teddy,” Scorpius sighed, his hands rubbing along his own jaw in frustration. “She never had sex with me. She was drunk; I let her sleep in my bed. You should have trusted her.”
“Please Malfoy, you love her.”
“Er – no. I don’t. She’s not my type,” he said uncomfortably.
“Just... don’t let her go, alright?”
Teddy probably would have been just as flabbergasted as he was, even if he wasn’t drunk. Malfoy was lying. He had to be lying.
“Weasley!” you shout. Like the movies, she turns to face you with shock clear on her face. You expect her to run to you but she doesn’t. That’s okay though. You are simply happy she hasn’t run away yet. It’s just the two of you and you walk carefully towards her. You pray she advances toward you but she doesn’t. Her mother stands beside her, probably to see her off. You brush away your tears in relief. You have missed Rose Weasley.
“Teddy...” she says and her voice cracks too. You hold her face in your cold hands. You can’t make her cry.
“I’m sorry,” you say.
“I don’t care,” she sniffs.
“You could have asked, Teddy Lupin!” she exclaims. “I would have clarified with diagrams if needed.” You laugh because she is the cutest thing ever. “Stop laughing,” she huffs.
You take her hand in yours and kiss them. “I’m stupid.”
“Yes, yes you absolutely are.”
“How have you been?” you ask casually.
And it shocks you. Obviously. “Is it Malfoy’s?” you cry out.
“Heavens no, Teddy! I’ve only ever... with you, you arse!”
“I’m sorry,” you say lamely and hug her. It feels nice. “So, wait, you’re pregnant? Like baby pregnant? Are we having a baby? I am confused.”
“What the hell is baby pregnant?”
“I don’t know Weasley, I am a man, and men don’t know these things.”
“I figured as much.”
You stand with her, just observing. It’s beautiful, like all things are with her. You truly have missed this.
"I love you," she whispers, before her lips meet yours.
"Happy Christmas, Weasley," you reply.
It is unsettling, but also most definitely unstoppable.
AN: OHMYGOD GUYS, I KNOW, I WROTE IT, I WROTE FLUFF. I hope you didn't find this style changing thing too awkward. It was fun writing Teddy in second person, and then third person. Interesting and frustrating, because there was a time where I was close to crying because this story just wouldn't finish. I swear there's like, moments written but I couldn't find space for them y'know. This is a supeeer late birthday present for nott theodore. Who is forever shipping Sharn and August(us/in) with me. ;) And I'd like to hug and send a million kisses to Laurenzo7321/FredWeasleyIsMyKing and writeyourheartout for pointing out all the typos. Thanks to ReeBee, TrueAuthor, potterfan310, and monstrosity for help with the title. I really hope Kiana and KatieRoo enjoyed this as well. As always, please leave a review if you have time, and sorry for any typos I missed because of laziness! I really hope it wasn't too terrible!
AND EDIT, I DID IT, I DID THE CODING SO THE FORMATTING IS ALL COOL! If it isn't and is actually messed up, I'm sorry! This is also the first time I've tried making something all cool stylistically. Also, sorry to the validators who have had to repeatedly validate this because I keep on forgetting to put a * at certain places.. it should be perfectish now, format wise...
Also the quote, "Someday you’ll find someone special again. People who’ve been in love usually do. It’s in their nature." isn't mine, Nicholas Sparks said it. The title Drummer Boy, is inspired by the carol The Little Drummer Boy by Katherine Davis. And I will shut up now.
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