Chapter 16 : The Penultimate Confession
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The other feeling was not nearly as pleasant. The feeling of shock. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. This was as bad as when Sirius died, if not worse. Dumbledore couldn’t be dead. I mean, he was Dumbledore the undefeatable man. By Snape of all people too! I blocked the images of me pleading for help from Snape in my mind. I wasn’t going to allow him to get to me. I didn't want to be reminded of the fact I believed he, the traitor, was going to save us not kill one of us.
The door to the Hospital Wing banged open and it announced the arrival of Molly and Arthur running into the room, shortly followed by Fleur. Her hair had formed a bundle of knots and her face ashen. She didn’t even know the worst of it. That as well as Bill being marred for life, Dumbledore was gone.
Molly rushed over to her son, ignoring the calls of McGonagall who had been waiting for them. Only Arthur listened to what she and Remus had to say. My eyes had been fixed upon him, Remus that was, for a while now. He provided the calm which we all longed for. If only he would talk to me, acknowledge me, and then I would be fine. Still in shock, but fine.
It was only when Fleur began to cry that I was broken from my reverie. The tears streaming down the Veela's face just seemed so strange, that I couldn't connect with it for some reason. I wasn’t fully aware of what was being said; only that Fleur demanded that she would still love Bill no matter what. I understood her, and that understanding helped me realise what was going on. No matter what happened to the person you loved nothing could ever change that love. It was simple as that. If only the others learnt that. Or perhaps I had to make them learn that.
Suddenly Molly and Fleur both burst into floods of tears and began hugging one another. Right, this was it. If Molly accepted that Fleur had accepted Bill as he was, I was going to make Remus do the same for me. Several crazy things had happened this evening so one more wouldn't make a difference.
“You see,” I cried at him and even added in a glare. “She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!” Bam. And that was how it was done. Or not. I didn’t even bothering listen to what Remus was currently drivelling out, it was the same old rubbish anyhow.
“But I don’t care either, I don’t care,” I cried, grabbing hold of his robes and shaking them. “I’ve told you a million times…”
I wasn't really sure what happened next apart from Molly and McGonagall berating Remus about how this was the time for love. All I noted was him walking away into the corner, and my resolution about wanting to date him only growing stronger and stronger. I had not embarrassed myself in front of these people just to get rejected. He would say yes.
Hagrid bumbled in and said something about Dumbledore's body. I didn’t want to think about it. It was even worse than the situation with Remus. At least I had some degree of hope with him. Without Dumbledore, I felt lost and broken. We could never be the same without him. He was always there with the answer. He even hinted about me and bloody Remus. It wasn’t fair. Why did good people always die? Why was it never the bad ones? Dumbledore, Sirius, both dead and for what?
McGonagall asked to see Harry and they soon walked out leaving the rest of us in silence. Now was my moment to strike. “Remus, could I talk to you too, please? Please don’t say no, I have to talk to you.”
His eyes were fixed to the ground, unmoving. The only movement he gave was a slight jerk of the head before walking out of the room. I was so surprised that he was coming that I had to run a little to catch up with him. He even made me do exercise for him. Damn, I shouldn’t be attempting to joke. It just felt all wrong and weird. It was far too soon after Dumbledore's death for that sort of thing.
He slowed his pace and that was when it hit me. There was one way to get what I wanted, and even if it did mean doing it in the middle of corridor where anyone could walk past, I was going to have to. I hurried up to him, grabbed hold of his hands to stop him from moving before kissing him.
His lips were as soft as I remembered. I waited for him to kiss back, and it only took a few agonising seconds to have it reciprocated. Time really did slow down when waiting for something big to happen. It deepened slightly before Remus broke it off. That was it. “For God’s sake Remus! It was going so bloody well, and then you had to go and bloody break it off. No, I won’t refrain from saying bloody no matter how much you hate me saying it, it expresses my anger caused by bloody you of all bloody people in this bloody world.”
“I wasn’t going to tell you off for saying bloody,” Remus said sheepishly. “I didn't even going to break it off. I had to say something, and I still will if you won’t interrupt me again.”
“Sorry,” I muttered. I would prepare my anger just in case I didn’t like this talk, but this one seemed different to the others for some strange reason.
“I love you Nymphadora Tonks. I have loved you for more than a year now, and I hope can I love you for many more to come. Even if you are clumsy, an idiot, forgetful and strange at times I still love you. I know I just denied wanting to be with you in the hospital wing, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Everything was exploding in my mind, all these thoughts and ideas and this one was just the strongest, so I knew I finally had to come out with it.”
“Er, great. I love you too,” I announced. I wasn’t prepared for this. Every time we got to a moment like this he would go and ruin it in some way with saying he couldn’t be with me or I would fall over or something. I had been waiting for this moment so many times I would have thought I would have a better response to it by now.
“I thought you weren’t going to interrupt me.” Remus smirked. “Never mind, what I was going to say was stupid.”
See, I just did something stupid. I went and interrupted him and now I would never know. “Please tell me, Remus. You can’t keep me hanging like this. You should know how socially awkward I am by now and how if I have something to say I just blurt it out.”
Like how I wanted to blurt how much I loved you for saying that and how I could probably rip his clothes off right now. Somehow I managed to stop myself from spitting that out.
He began to fiddle with his fingers and look down on the ground. This was not a good sign. “I know this seems bizarre since we’re not even together, but it feels like we’ve been closer than that and for a long time too. I love you Tonks, and I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else and I hope you feel the same way too. Which is why…”
“Oh for God’s sake what is wrong with you and which is why? Why can’t you just say it?” I cried out. As well as having mental issues it seemed as if I had anger related ones too.
“Don’t worry about it now, it was a stupid idea.”
“No, ask it.”
“Because I want you to. Now ask it again.”
“Nymphadora Tonks, will you marry me?” Remus beamed at me.
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
Fuck. I just agreed to get married. Fuck. I never thought I would get married. Fuck. I was screwed.
Then again, I thought I was screwed when I spilled sweet chilli sauce onto my fairy cake, and it turned out to be rather nice. Perhaps marriage would be rather nice too.
Author's Note: The dialogue from “You see,” I cried and even added in a glare. “She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!” + “But I don’t care either, I don’t care,” I cried, grabbing hold of his robes and began to shake them. “I’ve told you a million times…” come from page 582 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (UK edition) and all credit to them goes to the wonderful J.K. Rowling!
Gah, so this is the penultimate chapter before the epilogue as you may have guessed and I am on the verge of crying as I really don't want the story to end. I hope you liked their proposal, I figured it would have happened given how soon after they married.
This story is so close to 100 reviews (91 so far) so it would mean the world to me if you left me one because getting to 100 would be like getting a kitten in my world. So please, please, please be awesome sauce and help me reach that. Sorry for blabbering ages, I will end it here and thank you for being brilliant and reading. ♥
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