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Chapter 2 : A maze of thoughts
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I came out of the room muttering under my breath. My worry just increased after leaving the room. Hermione was meant to be smart, she was the brightest witch of our age, for God’s sake she was Hermione Granger. Something bad must have really happened for her to get to this state, Hermione was meant to be the strong, brave Griffindor Princess. But now that I remembered after the war she hadn’t really been herself. She had just been an actress filling in a role. Her soul wasn’t with her body and her heart was quite shattered, she had lost so many people... I remembered her bloody, tear-stained face when we were cleaning up Hogwarts... I hadn’t gone home after the war finished, I was going to help. I shuddered at the cascade of memories that washed over me with a single word. Pain. I was going to spend my life fixing pain. I made myself a promise while I was cleaning up Hogwarts. I was never going to hurt anyone else, not if possible. But as I thought about all the people I had seen suffer at my hands, a certain bushy-haired witch came to my mind. Hermione. I hoped I never witnessed her scrams of agony again. I hoped I never had to watch her writhe in pain. Most of all I wished to never see those broken eyes again. But a feeling of dread had come over me as soon as the couple had come in with Hermione’s limp body. I had a feeling that when I was greeted by those chocolate brown eyes, it would be like looking inside an abandoned house. Like she was a shell of herself. I went into my office, thoughts still swirling through my head. I sat myself down in my chair and stared into the fire. Watching as flames lick the logs, sunshine pouring in through the open blinds, I fell asleep, the worry and pain coming with me.
All the way home I was in shock.Harry lead me inside the house and sat my crying figure on the couch. I had looked as if I recovered slightly but I actually couldn’t get through my head the events of the morning. I replayed in my head the days events so as to try to find a reasonable explanation as to why I found Hermione in the state that I did. I started from the begging, in the arms of Harry, tears streaming down my face.
I had woken up, happy that I was going to spend a day with Hermione. We had needed one of our girl days since Ron had left. I couldn’t fathom why he left, but I was beginning to accept the fact. I got up, showered got dressed and went down to breakfast. I found Harry in the kitchen and gave him a slight peck on the lips. I had my breakfast and cleaned up. It was 16 minutes to nine so I had a quarter of an hour but I knew that Hermione would be ready. She always prepared for thing way too early. I went outside and walked over the apparition wards. I apparated as soon as I had crossed them. When I came back from Hermione’s I had apparated directly home. My voice trembled and I was still screaming. I grabbed onto Harry and apparated back to Hermione’s. I was still trembling when we entered the hospital and even when Malfoy had taken us to a room to get Hermione fixed. My mind was running wild and I couldn’t place my thoughts. When had this started? How long had it been going on for? Why had she done this to herself? I was so angry at myself for to noticing I thought I was going to blow but in that second Malfoy gave me a calming draught and I calmed down slightly. The trembling had stopped but the internal berating continued. When Harry Had begun to tell Malfoy what we knew I listened intently trying to see if I could find any clues at all of why or how this happened. When he finished my mind was reeling. I tried to put two and two together and I connected all the dots from the past. In the end I gave up. I pushed away all my thoughts and put on a brave face and
answered to Malfoy question myself. I was a Griffindor after all and we were brave...
I had put on a brave face until we apparated out of St Mungos. It was then that I gave into the shock and all the pain of knowing one of the reasons that my best friend had ended up in Hospital was me. I should have done something. I should have had the courage to say what I thought. I should have been more like her. Hermione was perfect and this problem that she had now was all my fault. It was also Ron’s fault. Ron. That git of my brother was going to pay. I would send him a howler if I had to. I hand’t noticed until now but Harry was shaking me. I looked up into his mesmerizing green eyes and saw love and concern. But why concern? I then heard what he was saying.
“Ginny! Ginny listen it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. It’s no ones fault. Things like these happen...” it was at that moment that I realized that I had said it all out loud. I then snapped out of my thoughts and ‘came back’ to the present. I looked straight at Harry and sobbed,
“ Oh, but Harry, it is my fault. I should have been there for her. I should have helped her through the hard moments of her life just as she helped me.” I sobbed on to his shoulder as he whispered
“Ginny. Hermione is the most stubborn person I have ever met, actually the second most stubborn person. You take the role of the first. If someone doesn’t want or accept the help they are being offered there is no way to help them. I think Hermione didn’t want to accept her problems, or didn’t want to ‘burden’ us with them but even if you had tried harder at helping her, she would have still been in the same situation. Maybe even worse. Ginny, you are the most wonderful person to ever walk this earth, You have helped me and many others when we were stuck inside our own heads after the war. Ginny, you have always been the fire that lit up the darkest of my moments, ever since that day in the chamber of secrets. You have always taken on more than what it’s is possible so as to make other peoples burden lighter. You have been my firm foundation when I thought I was srifting away. You are my rock. I can’t live without you.And Ginny, I was waiting until a more romantic moment to ask you this, but I can’t make myself wait. I have faced Voldemort but I might never again get the courage to ask you this. Ginevra Molly Weasley, My fire, my love, my foundations. Will you marry me?”
At that moment he took out a red velvet case from his pocket and out of it came the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was a golden band with a tear or flame shaped ruby in the middle, the ruby was surrounded by tiny minuscule diamonds and on either side of the ruby there were two small emeralds. I looked closely and noticed that carved on the inside of the ring there was a single word foundation. I suddenly jumped up, All problems to do with Hermione had disappeared from my head, I was struck at the love and passin that hid behind Harrys eyes as I said yes,
“Harry”, I replied “There is nothing more that I want than to be with you for the rest of my life for every single second I have. It shouldn’t even be a question if I would marry you. I don’t even have to think. You have been more than just my boyfriend, you have been my friend, my love, my reason for living, my anchor and my island, You have kept my feet on the group while leaving my head in the clouds. Harry, I love you and I would be honored to marry you.”
After ow exchange of words, we were both teary eyed and the love and passion were tangible in the air. I turned in his arms to get a more clear view of the man that one day would be the dad of my children and smiled. I leaned in and kissed him at the same time as he was leaning in to kiss me. When our lip touched it was like the first time. It was an explosion of joy, passion, love, emotion but this time, it held a promise, a promise symbolized on my left hand on my fourth finger. But now, we were lost in the moment, lost in our kiss, in this blazing fire inside us. For now I just felt love.
As soon as I opened my eyes, tears started pouring down. My head was pounding. I had heard all of the conversation Harry and Malfoy were having in here. I was so stupid and now I had to be in the care of... Draco Malfoy. I had heard of his change, what’s more, I had witnessed it. But I felt, not just judged but like my life just kept getting more messed up. I was Hermione Granger. For god’s sake, I was mean to be smart and strong and brave. I was meant to be able to face the world, to face my problems. At least that’s what was expected from me. I had to live a double life. My public life, and the life in my head. Going through the motions of the day without feeling anything. I didn’t want to be who I was. I was in shock. I couldn’t process the fact that I had gotten myself drunk, de-blooded and overdosed. How had I become this person? I had an answer in my head though, a dream, the dream to be precise. More like the nightmare. The one that kept waking me up night after night, everyday since the war and the one that had woken me this morning. The one where I felt Bellatrix carve into my skin that word... Mudblood. I woke up to my own repetitive scrams of pain, every single day. As the tears kept streaming down my face I thought of the dream I had just had. It made no sense. In my dream I had been in a forest. There was a mountain behind me and the sun came up from in front, but the sun was a pale, pale white light, there was a lake in front of me and it was turning black. I was walking toward the black river, when I got to the shore I turned to look at the mountains. Something that had seemed so solid now looked like it could collapse at any moment. I was staring and I hadn’t realized that I had fallen in the water, but I made no attempt to come out inside this water I felt not the pain of the collapsible mountain. However I was drowning but there was the pale sun and it was moving. It came to a halt in front of my heart and I woke up with a phrase that resounded throughout the valley
-”No more broken your foundations, no more broken hearts.” -
While I was lost in my thoughts I hadn’t realized but a machine had started to beep. It was beeping uncontrollably I tried to move so as to make it shut up but I couldn’t and this just brought more tears to my eyes. This was so frustrating! I wanted to know what was going on. I went to stand up so I could unplug the cable that connected the annoying machine. I was siting up and everything was spinning.b The machine beeped faster and louder. The sounds reverberated through my head. I pushed my nauseas away and tried to ignore my pounding head. I stood up. It took me two seconds to fall but that was enough to send the beeping machine crazy. I heard pounding footsteps and a door opening. As my eyelids where closing I heard a voice. It said:
“No, Hermione don’t do this to yourself...” Then I returned to the place of peaceful darkness.
A/N- Sorry for the late update, I have tests and exams on at the moment. PLease leave a review. Your thoughts are always appreciated, And thanks to those that reviewed the first chapter... ;)
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