Chapter 5 : Kiss?!
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I don't own J.K.Rowlings amazing world.
I was sitting alone in the great hall, my hands rubbing circles into my pulsing temples and my head hanging down facing the table allowing the rich coffee scented steam to waft into my face from my mug. The full moon was tonight and for some reason I had never felt weaker. My muscles ached as if I had injected them with acid, my head was pounding and my attention span was at an all-time low. I could not keep a thought in my head longer than twenty seconds. Pair that with the fact that I kept falling asleep in my classes and it would be a miracle if I passed my O.W.L.'s.
I was in the middle of contemplating on whether or not I could just go back to bed when a bright flash of blue flew past my eyes and I let out a shrill squeak, my hands flew up to my face and I threw myself backward so fast that I toppled off the bench in fright. With the attention of the entire great hall now thoroughly focus on me I popped my head up over the table to see Lily Potter sitting on the bench opposite clad in her Ravenclaw robes and an eyebrow arced in question.
"You're a little jumpy today. Is something wrong?" she asked curiously. Normally a situation like this wouldn't have taken place. It is one of my better qualities that I don't scare easily if at all. It’s partly because of my heightened hearing so I can hear my attacker approach and the fact that I'm just not a jumpy person.
I pulled myself off the floor and plopped back down in my seat with a sigh. I had been extremely on edge lately due to that letter. It sent shivers down my spine just to think of it.
"You just caught me at the wrong time Lils. I'm fine, promise." I smiled weakly at her. She gave me one more searching stare before shrugging and taking a bite out of a banana. I really needed to calm down. I hadn't told anyone about that letter, not even James, and as the days went on the more on edge I became. James and Freddie both new something was bothering me and now Lily was on to me too. The last thing I needed was them finding out and going and doing something stupid. No, this letter was something that I was keeping to myself until I was certain that it wasn't a joke. I was telling no one. Not James, not my uncle and certainly not the Ministry.
“Hey Corry, Lily. How are you this morning?” James said cheerfully and he dropped down on the bench next to Lily and pulled a platter of toast towards him.
“Fine.” We both said in unison, Lily still preoccupied with her banana. I looked up at James to catch him watching me, a curious look gracing his face. I couldn’t gauge the emotion in his eyes because the second I turned to him his face dissolved into that James smirk that he does all too often. I rolled my eyes. No one could mask what they were feeling like he could.
“You sure you you’re ok, Cora? You’ve just seemed off lately and you look like crap… No offence!” Ah James, ever the Auror -and a charmer for that matter- always trying to figure people out. Our eyes met again as he watched me with concern, and for the first time in all the years I’ve known him I felt my stomach clench and my heart started racing in my chest. I froze. I couldn’t think for the pounding in my ears and I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing. God I want to kiss him right now. I didn’t know where that even came from. Never would I have thought that would ever cross my mind. The shock however was enough to break me out of the trance I seemed to be in. I was shaken and James looked rather confused too.
“Yeah I’m sure.” I said waving him off as I got up from the table and grabbed my bag off the floor, “I have something I need to do before class. I’ll see you in Defence.” I threw over my shoulder as walked briskly from the hall. Once on the other side of the doors I ran to the bathroom just off the entrance hall. I locked the door swiftly and slid down the wall panting heavily from the exertion. What the hell had just happened, not only was James on to me about the letter but I had wanted to kiss him. The way he had looked at me, like he wanted to kiss me to… No, I thought. The idea of such things was almost comical. Why in name of Merlin would James have wanted to kiss me? Why would I have wanted to kiss him? I loved James like a brother. I was certain of that. Kinda.
I opened my eyes blearily as the early morning sunlight shone through the thin canopy of the trees. I sat up abruptly. The canopy was never normally thin enough for light to shine through in the forbidden forest. I looked around and realised with a start that I was at the lake lying under one of the big oak trees. The wolf never usually ran this close to the castle. It usually preferred to run deeper into the forest and away from Hogwarts. Frantically I got up off the ground and went in search of my cloths where I had left them in one of the clearings. Why had I ended up near the lake? That had never happened before. If someone had seen me and put the pieces together, I don’t know what I would have done. What if this was because of my anxiety over that letter and the wolf had run closer to Hogwarts and its protection instead of away from it? What if someone had been on the grounds late last night? I could have been seen. I could have killed someone. I could have been killed myself. I really needed to find a more suitable place to change and fast.
After I found my clothes in a small clearing about a mile from the lake and redressed I walked back through the forest and up to the castle, taking secret passage ways to try and get back to Gryffindor common room without detection. The halls were quiet and my retreat almost seemed too easy but that thought didn’t seem to register in my post moon mind. Once I reached the portrait hole, I whispered the password to the Fat Lady who gave me a look of shame before swing open to reveal the common room. She mutter under her breath about scandalous teens and treacherous affairs obviously assuming I was doing a walk of shame from some sleazy late night booty call. I don’t know why she was just starting this now as I have been sneaking back into the common room for years. I pulled my self through the portrait hole and began dragging myself through the common room to my dorm when a sudden movement caught my eye. I froze. I could feel someone in the room watching me, could hear there controlled breathing and steady light drumming of their fingertips against the armrest. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I knew. The smell of apples, peppermint chocolate frogs, filibusters wet start fireworks. My stomach clenched and again my heart started to race. Readying myself, I turned around to face a furious James sitting in an armchair by the fire.
"Hey." I offered and he glared at me. Those hazel eyes that had held mine so tenderly just yesterday morning where now filled with spite. I gulped.
"Where in the name of Merlins most spotty socks have you been?!" he forced out between clenched teeth.
" I.. I..I don't know what you mean. I was..."
"Don't lie to me." he interrupted, raising a hand up to block my face “You’ve been gone all night. I didn't check the map because I wanted to respect you privacy, but I think I deserve you to show me some respect as your friend and tell me who you were with. This isn't the first time you've snuck away in the dead and DON'T try to deny that you snuck away from the burrow over summer. I'm not stupid. And you've been sneaking around a lot lately. Who is he?" I could tell by the tension in his jaw that he was angry, very angry. His eyes were studying me intensely and there was something else there. Hurt, betrayal...Jealousy? No he wasn't jealous, that would be crazy. He was pissed. More accurately he was pissed and me and think much like that fat lady that I was a whore.
" I'm not sneaking off to see someone I promise. I fell asleep down in the kitchens last night. I snuck down at eleven for some hot chocolate because I couldn't sleep and I fell asleep at one of the tables." I knew that the moment I said it he didn't believe me, but really who did he think he was thinking those things of me?
"Stop lying to me! Even if you did just go down to the kitchens last night, you've still been on edge and sneaking around lately. When did we stop telling each other everything? Merlin Corry so you've got a boyfriend, so what? It’s not a crime. Why are you being so secretive? Fred and I both tell you when we're seeing someone." He had taken to walking around the common room mid rant and had come to a stop in front of me. His chest rose and fell in heavy pants as he tried to calm down.
"James, I'm not seeing someone I swear. I'll admit that there is something going on but I just can't..."
“You know what?" He interrupted me again. “Forget it. Don't tell me, see if I care. Guess we're not as close as I thought we were. Why don’t you just run off back to your new friends bed."
“Yeah? Well if you really think that that is the kind of person I am, then I guess you never really knew me at all. Merlin, you insensitive and obnoxious little bastard. How dare you? JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE WHOLE SCHOOL AT YOUR FEET BECAUSE OF WHO YOUR DAD IS, DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CAN CONTROL AND MANIPULATE ME INTO TELLING YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE! You obviously don’t care enough about me to accept that can tell you everything.” I was shaking with rage all over, my face inches from his.
“I don’t care? I DON’T CARE?! I sat up all night-worried sick about you. I have lain awake in bed for the past week because I know there is something you’re not telling me. Something that is scaring you to death. You know you can tell me anything? If someone threatening you, if this guy is forcing you to do something you don’t want to do.” He looked at. His eyes blazing and his hands firmly gripping my shoulders.
“Gosh no. James it’s nothing like that. Its….” I paused as I dragged my hands down my face. I couldn’t tell him. It would risk his life as well as my own. But he did deserve to know. “It’s just… the thing is…No! I just can’t. I’m sorry.” I sobbed in a small voice, angry at myself. I never cried. James watched me for a moment- torn between being angry with me and wanting to make me feel better - before his face hardened and he turned on his heels and stalked out of the common room. I remained stood by the fire. Any attempt of going after him was futile. There was no convincing him when he was angry so instead of going after him I stared into the fire and contemplated the idea of telling James everything. Almost immediately, I knew it wasn't an option. I wasn't ready to lose him yet, and I was certain he would leave when he found out. The skeletons in my closet were enough to send anyone fleeing for the hills. No, I would never tell James about my past.
Ok. so what did you think? was it boring? exciting? dramatic? tell me please!!!! I love your reviews. Is anyone getting suspicious about that letter? don't worry, all shall be told in due time.
Just want to apologise again for the time this took and how short it was but I just wanted to get something up ASAP. My Internet is down in my dorm and for some reason my laptop will only connect when I am at home. Will try to be better at updating cause i know it drives me crazy waiting on chapters form other authors.
*HELP, YOUR OPINION NEEDED!!!*- I am thinking of taking a break from this story just until i have a few more chapters written and i find out what the problem with my Internet is. However it is completely up to you guys. If you want me to continue putting chapters up as i can then let me know. thanks again for reading.
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