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Chapter 3 : Confusing eyes.
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I have reached a new low.
As it turns out, my recollection of the 'Evening of Doom' is worse than I imagined.†
One would think I'd remember having a huge fight with my cousin - especially since it was his birthday party - but, alas, I do not. Neither do I remember how the hell I got too close for comfort with his best friend.
All week, I've been struggling with whispers and stolen glances, and I've tried my best to shrug it off. But a girl can only take this kind of attention for so long before she snaps.†
And I'm about to snap.
Ever since I found out about the fight between me and Al, I've been trying to talk to him. But it's like he's attached at the hip to Scorpius Malfoy. And god knows I'm not going to talk to Al when that virginity thief is there. Staring at me with those hypnitic, greenish eyes; pursing his full lips; running a firm hand through his silky, blonde hair...
Yes. I find the lad attractive. I dare any of you to disagree with me.
The man is cut out of marble - it's almost not natural.
But I digress.†However much I find Malfoy a hot piece of man-meat, it still doesn't change the fact that I'm going to ignore him for the rest of my life.
Well, at least it would be preferable.
But as the days have passed, and all I've gotten from Al is the occational glare, I've started to realise that I need to step up my game.
Which brings me back to the fact that I have arrived at a new low...
"He's still ignoring me," I sulk while pretending to write notes off the chalkboard. "How can I apologize if he won't even acknowledge my existence?"
Dom sighs. "He's just being a prat," she whispers. She eyes Professor Chang before determining it's safe to continue. "Besides, you don't even know if you have anything to apologize for!"
"It's better to assume that I did," I mutter.†
"Why? You never do anything wrong - you're such a goody-two-shoes, it's actually annoying."
"Don't really know if that was a compliment or not..."
"But have you tried talking to him?" Dom ignores my comment.
I scoff quietly and roll my eyes. "With the evil looks he's been giving me this week? No, can't say that I have."
"If I hadn't been such a bitch to Fred, we could ask him," Dom mumbles and tickles her chin with the quill. "You could go to Malfoy and ask him what's up? I bet he kn-"
"Absolutely not!" I hiss before I can stop myself.†
"Blimey, calm yourself, woman," Dom whispers and eyes me sceptically. "It was just a suggestion. He is Al's best friend, you know, and could tell you-"
"I said no," I snap. I can't control it.
"Whatever." Dom looks down at her parchment and starts writing down Chang's notes. Charms is one of the few subjects she can handle without my help, so she doesn't speak to me for the rest of the class.
Dom's suggestion hit a nerve. I know she's right. I should go talk to Malfoy, ask what really happened on our night of drunken passion.†
Was there passion? I don't remember...
It's obvious that I have to talk to the lad and clear up some confusion. I just... I just don't want to!
"You done ignoring me now?" I ask Dom while we sit down at the Gryffindor table for lunch an hour and a half later.
"You done being a rude bitch?"
I send my glaring friend an apologetic look, and that's all it takes. Neither one of us are too fond of giving or receiving apologies, so it works out for the both of us.
"Malfoy's staring at you again," she says all of a sudden, changing the subject entirely.
The sentence coming out of my friends mouth is surreal, but one word especially so.
"Again?" I ask confused. "When does Malfoy ever stare at me?"
"When he's alone," Dom replies, not knowing that my palms are sweating with stress. "If you turn around you can see it."
Without thinking about it, I do as she says, and my heart stops. She's right; Scorpius Malfoy is staring at me. Though his focus quickly changes when he catches me staring back.
I turn my head and look dumbfoundedly into thin air. Actually, I'm a bit frightened too.
†"Your face is all red," Dom points out, but I'm too busy freaking out to give her any nasty look. "Seriously, are you all right?"
Dom leans over and snaps her fingers in front of my face to get my attention. I blink, but give no other response.
"Is he still there?" I ask in a barely audible whisper out of the corner of my mouth. I feel my eyes bulging, and there's no doubt that I look like a mental person.†
Dom stretches her neck, and purses her lips.
"Yeah, but it looks like he's getting up."
"What's going on with you?" And then Dom winks suggestively at me and nudges my shoulder. "Do you fancy him or something?"
I give a loud and genuinely unattractive snort. Dom rolls her eyes as she pours some soup into her bowl.
"Well, at least the lad's attractive... Unlike Robin, remember him?"
My eyes shoot daggers at Dom's smirking face. Why did I ever have to tell her I had a crush on Robin McCormic?†
"I was thirteen," I remind her through gritted teeth.†
"And he was gay," Dom replies and barely contains a mocking laugh.
"How could I know that?!"
"Uhm, hello! He wore sequined shoes, knew all the lyrics to Wizard of Oz and called everybody 'darling'. How could you miss it, is the question here."
I huff and shove mashed potatoes into my trap. At least this saves me from responding for a few seconds.
"So you don't fancy Malfoy, then?" she asks, and I choke on the mash. I spend a painfully long moment coughing before I can breathe, and Dom sits patiently awaiting an answer.
"No," I tell her firmly.
"But he's gorgeous as fuck..." Dom trails and her eyes follow him as he exits the great hall. I see the back of his head, but quickly look away.
"It just so happens -" I proclaim, "- that I don't, in fact, find him all that attract-"
I loudly shush my friend, eyes wide.
"You have to be blind to not see that he's got looks, Rose," she tells me seriously. And I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. "You may not like him, but..."
She doesn't finish the sentence, but she doesn't really need to.
But as luck would have it, this is the time where we are interrupted by Hugo.
"Hello, little brother," I greet him and ruffle his curly, auburn hair.
"Stop it!" he hisses and swats away my hand. Dom and I exchange looks, and smirk.
"Touchy today, are we?" Dom asks in her most annoying tone. The look on Hugo's face is priceless. He's become such a moody teenager! It's hilarious.
"I don't want my sister's big, greasy fingers in my hair, is that too much to ask?" he growls and grabs a chicken leg.†
"Sorry, should I kiss you on the cheek instead?" I ask all innocently.†
"Yeah, you could do like the french - on each side," Dom adds.†
"Ha, ha, got some comedians over here," Hugo murmurs and rolls his eyes.
Dom and I try to hide our snickers, and dive into our own lunch. We know very well to not push the limits too much with this kid. One time when Al and James accused him of having a girlfriend, he exploded and threw a pie in Al's face. And when James laughed, Hugo swore he'd regret having made fun. James did get to regret his actions when he woke up the next morning with no hair on his head.†
Ah, good times.
"So," I try conversationally, "how's Quidditch practice going?"
Hugo sighs. "Crap."
Dom chuckles to herself.
"James riding you too hard again?" I ask, eyebrows furrowed in worry.
"That's an understatement," Hugo scoffs. "We practice five times a week - come rain or shine -- or bloody snowstorms! The man has become a lunatic."
I nod in understanding and want to stroke away a stray curl on his forehead, but I contain myself.
"He got so much worse after the break-up with Jane," he sighs. "He's a much better person when he's got someone to shag..."
"Hugo!" I gasp, but Dom just barks out a laugh. I detect a small smile on Hugo's lips and decide to not say anything to destroy it.
We eat the rest of our breakfast in a comfortable silence, and after I bid my little brother 'goodbye' I go with Dom up towards the library.
"And I who thought we'd be able use our free periods doing fun stuff this year..." Dom sulks. "Never have I been so wrong."
Right when we start climbing the stairs, I feel that I really have to use the loo. And I actually manage to get halfway up to the library before I turn away from Dom and run into the nearest lavatory.
"Save me a seat!" I call to her as the door slams behind me. With fumbling fingers I struggle to unbutton my pants. I barely make it to the toilet when my pants are down, but I exhale in relief when I do.
"Oh, such sweet relief..." I moan as I feel the pressure going away.†
"Ehm, excuse me?"
..a boy's voice?!
"I'm sorry, but you're in the wrong room," the dark voice says in a slightly mocking way.
I silently freak out, and bite my fist to stop myself from screaming out in pure embarrassment.
"Hello?" he calls, and footsteps approach my little cubicle.†
I keep very, very quiet - stupidly hoping that he'd walk away.
"I know you're still in there. I can hear you breathing."
What monster is this?!
I can see his shadow peeking through the crack under the door, and quickly pull up my underwear - what if he comes in?
He jiggles the handle and I let out a small yelp.
"A-ha!" the man exclaims. "I knew a girl was in here! Come on, show yourself."
I groan. Why did this stuff happen to me?
"Come ooooon," he drags and knock on the door.
With a grimace and a face glowing red, I slowly unlock and open the door.
My head is bowed and my eyes focus on the floor tile, but when I hear a tiny gasp, I look up.
And I gasp a bit myself.
"M-Malfoy!" I choke and pray for someone to come in right now and 'avada kedavra' me.
That is it?
My face must've been very humorous, because Malfoy's bewildered expression suddenly changes to a grin.
"What are you grinnng for?" I ask and cross my arms in front of my chest.
Malfoy smirks and his blue eyes twinkle mischievously, en he slosly raises his hand and points at my legs.
My bare legs.
In my embarrassed state I'd forgotten to pull up my pants...
The next thing I register is Malfoy's booming laugh. My head snaps up and I glare at him. I want to punch him so bad!
I grind my teeth together and I feel my eyes filling with treacherous tears while I pull my pants up and button them.
"What's so bloody funny?!" I ask angrily and try to shoot him dirty looks through the brim of tears. But he doesn't seem to want to stop laughing. "It's not ike you haven't seen it before," I add, but then suddenly he stops laughing. And then I realise what I've just said.
Why do you do this to yourself, Rosie?!
The situation turns even more awkward. Because now we're both all red-faced and fidgety. He scratches his neck with a weird grimace, and I fumble with my bag.
I need to do something. Get the focus over on other things.
"I-I need to wash my hands," I say, and put out my hands as if I have to get him to validate that they're dirty enough.†
"Oh, right." He takes a step to the side so I can walk to the sink. That's when I notice the urinals and the distinct smell of boy wee.
Oh, god. I really am in the boys' lavatory...
I was my hands extremely thoroughly, feeling like I'm prepping for an operation. I lather in my arm all the way up to my elbow in slow, smooth circles, and then I have to find exactly the perfect water temperature.
And then I do it again.
I was hoping that Malfoy'd leave, but no such thing happens.
"I think you're clean enough," he comments. I hear the taunt in his tone. It's well hidden by his aloofness, but I can still hear it - and it annoys me.
"I've just peed in the boy's room," I explain, clenching my jaw while I dry myself on a couple of paper towels. "So no, I'll never be clean enough."
I catch him smiling in the mirror, but he quickly stops when our eyes meet.
Without anything more to do, I roll my sleeves back down and then proceed to stand there like some dimwit. I urge my feet to move, to take me away from this shit of a situation.
"So," I say out of thin air. But do I have something to follow up with? NO. See how stupid my brain is?! I've just made this horridly awkward situation a million times more awkward.
Good going, brain. Good going.
He expects me to continue. Well, that's not too strange, people usually have something more to say after they utter the word 'so'.
But I have less than nothing.
This means that we stand here in silence. Both of us waiting for a sentence to follow that wretched word I'd so stupidly said.
Dad always says I've inherited mum's brains - but I bet the great Hermione Granger never got into this sort of situation!
"Were you going to say anything more?" Malfoy inquires, and my eyes are forced up to meet his. I can't really decide if I like his eyes or not - maybe I could if the colours stopped changing all the time. In this light they were bright green, but usually they're a mix of green, gray and blue.†
I shake my head: No, Rosie. Keep off.
"No," is my short answer.†
"You don't think we should...talk?"
Why, god, why?!
"I-I don't see why we should," I stammer and deliberately look away. Those tiles are really fascinating. The wee-stains really bring out the - Oh, gross.†
I have no choice but to look up again, and Malfoy stands towering over me.
Why couldn't I have gotten dad's height? This situation would be so much better if Malfoy and I could have a real stare down.
"So you're going to continue to ignore me?"
"I'm not the one who ignores people here, Malfoy!" I retalliate. Actually, I have been avoiding him, but those are two very different things. At least in my head.
"Oh, really? You're going to turn it around?"
"Well, forgive me for not walking right up to you in front of hordes of people and say 'Hi, remember me? We sort of shagged and-"
"Stop!" I interrupt. I don't want to hear more.
He stops talking. But he's breathing heavily. I squint up at him and I see that he's plainly frustrated about something. His usual cool disposition is substituted for fierce annoyance.
Maybe I shouldn't have interrupted him? Maybe I should actually ask him about that night, seeing as it's so blank to me...
But I only get to open my mouth, because right before I'm about to speak Malfoy storms out of the room. The door slams behind him with a bang, and I jump at the sound.
I spend a few minutes in the hollow silence that follows, and I try to breathe. But all of a sudden I remember I'm in the boys loo, so I scatter out of there.
With every step I take, I get more and more confused. Did something more happen that night? Or was Malfoy just frustrated because his best friend had gotten in a fight with his future lover? Ew. Future lover sounds wrong, even in my head.
I grimace, and walk past a group of young girls without acknowledging them. But something suddenly gets caught in my foot, and I stumble. It's a miracle I manage to maintain my balance, but the sensation of falling is still prominent in my belly.
"I'm so sorry!"†
I turn around with my hand clenching the bag on my shoulder. It is one of those girls. Hufflepuff, third year, if I'm not mistaken. Her face is pulled into an apologetic expression, and she hurries to pick up the bag that I'd just tripped on.
"Don't leave your bag lying around, please," I say in a bored tone. I am a Prefect after all, and this official tone is something I am very used to. "Someone could get hurt."
"I'm so so so so so-"
"I get it," I interrupt. "It's fine. Now, you girls have a nice day." I always add that when I'm in 'Prefect-mode'. I don't really know why.
"Oh, you too!" she says with a relieved smile, and I turn to walk away. "And congratulations, by the way!"
I come to a halt mid-turn, and spin back around. I look at the young girl with furrowed brows.
"Ehm, pardon me, random student I don't know," I say in a rude tone. "What do you mean by 'congratulations'?"†
"Oh, I just- Ehm, you know, because of you and Scorpius." My eyes pop. "M-Malfoy."
"...What about me and Scorpius Malfoy?"
"Well, that you two have-"
"Okay, let me stop you now before one of us falls down dead," I interrupt, and my face feels like it's melting. "What Malfoy and I did or didn't do at that birthday party is none of your business - any of you! And since when did people congratulate someone for shagging anyway?!"
Silence. The girl stood with her mouth hanging open, and I squinted my eyes at her.
"I-I wasn't talking about, I mean..." She swallows and starts pulling on a long braid hanging over her shoulder. "I meant the engagement."
"You meant what?!"
Yeah, it seems like Rosie remember less of that night than she thinks. Or...is it just a rumor?
You'll just have to continue reading then, I suppose! (evil laugh)
No, but seriously - love you for reading.
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