Chapter 19 : Stay
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There was very few moments when Scorpius knew that he was making a life changing decision as it occurred in front of him. He had made them before, but he had never been consciously aware of it as it was happening, only when he looked back on his memories did he realize them. Somehow seeing it while it happened right before his eyes, seemed to make his choice that much more important. The added pressure of knowing which side he took would mean the complete difference in the life he lived, and the life he could have lived.
Staring at the two opposite forms on his coffee table, Scorpius subconsciously rubbed the scar on his wrist as he read over them. The one on the left was a contract to sign on as a permanent Auror in the New York department. Cornell had officially offered him the position earlier that day, when he had returned home from the hospital. Saying, with Grey gone, they had an opening, and Scorpius was his first pick to fill it.
The one on the right, however, was an immediate transfer form back to London. His father had requested it while he was still in the hospital, telling him that he and his mother never wanted to experience a scare like that again and Scorpius needed to be near his family, that it was time to come home. And the more Scorpius thought about it, the more he was starting to think his father might be right.
The fact was that, the longer he stayed in New York, the harder things were becoming for him. As much as he loved Rose, she was at a point in her life where she could move on. Scorpius did what he did, he lied to her. Even if Rose couldn’t see it yet, it allowed her to open her heart to new possibilities, breaking that bond between them. More than anything Scorpius wanted her happy, and he was beginning to realize, with him sticking around, he was only hurting her and himself in the process. If she was able to move on, who was he to hold her back.
So grabbing the black feathered quill, he scribbled his signature on the right form, putting an end to his and her torment.
Rose sat on her couch, mindlessly flipping through the pages of a book.
“Hey,” Carla said coming around the side of the couch and plopping down beside her. “What are you doing here?”
Rose looked at her curiously “I live here,” she answered with a question.
Carla gasped “Really, because I had no clue that you were the person paying the other half of the rent each month.”
“You do know that the apartment is in my name, and legally I can kick you out,” Rose mumbled looking back down to her book.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Carla mocked, taking a sip of her coffee that she had just made, “I meant what are you doing here while a very attractive blond man is home from the hospital, and probably waiting for you to come talk to him."
Closing the cover of the book, Rose tucked her legs tightly under her, moving her eyes to the warm flames in the fire place. As much as she had been craving to see him, it had been family only allowed in Scorpius’ hospital room. But now that he was returning home, she remained hidden in the pages of a book. She supposed that she was thinking, thinking about what she would say to him.
The last bit of resistance she had, disappearing at the sight of his pale, unconscious body. Fear, instead, taking its place. Fear that he might die, then the fear of fearing that he might die, because she had never been so worried for someone in her life. Which ultimately led to her fear of love. The fear of loving someone so much, that she risked her life to go into a burning building to save them, jumping out of window, in hopes that she wouldn’t die herself. That fear, was the one that had her shaken, the one that made her sit back and think. It was the one, that had her scared her into reality.
“Rose,” Carla said in her voice of authority. Rose looked up to her “I can tell you right now that the answers to your problems are not in that book,”
“Can you blame me for trying to avoid my problems,” Rose said softly “Merlin knows I have so many of them,”
Carla chuckled “No,” but then gave Rose a serious look, “But I can blame you for not taking a chance, especially when it matters the most.”
Rose twisted around, her brown eyes wide, “I don’t even know where to start when it comes to thinking about this,”
Raising an eyebrow Carla asked “Well how do you feel about him?”
Rose thought, she truly thought about the question. For years she had loved him and never doubted it. Even when he lied to her she couldn’t doubt that she loved him. But, she had to admit that she didn’t love him like she had before. Yes, Scorpius had her heart, but when he broke it she took parts of it back.
Parts that were still mangled and crooked, with jagged edges around the sides, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to give those parts back to him yet. Because, if she did, it would mean she was willing to let her heart potentially be broken again, and that god awful fear that she hated so much, would take a permanent residence within her. The fear that one day, maybe when she was old and wrinkly, he could possibly leave this world before she did, and that heartbreak she wouldn’t want to survive.
Carla pursed her lips together, “I think that’s a good place to start,” She said standing up and walking back to her room.
Leaving Rose to ponder the thought.
Pulling clothes off of hangers from his closet, Scorpius folded them neatly, and placed them into the large duffle bag. His transfer had been approved late last night and he was scheduled for the last port key out tonight. Hearing a knock on the door he paused.
The knock continued, until he finally went to answer it.
“Hey,” he said slightly shocked, when he saw Rose standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” she said nervously. Glancing her eyes away from him, thrusting a pile of folders out in front of her “Here, I brought you these,”
Scorpius opened the door wider “Thank you?” he said not sure if this was meant as a kind gesture.
“I already did most of it, you just need to fill out the parts on how Warwick died,” she said casually.
Taking the folders from her hands, Scorpius waved open the door for her to come in “If you give me a minute I’ll do it right now,” he said, preferring to just give her the folder then, instead of dropping it off before he left.
Laying the folders on his kitchen counter, he opened them to quickly skim over her work. Grabbing the quill that he had been label boxes with, he started to write.
Slowly Rose walked into the apartment, her face shocked as she looked at the bare walls of the empty living room. “So you’re leaving,” she finally concluded.
Scorpius deliberately didn’t look at her. “I’ve decided to terminate my contract a month early, and go back to London.”
“So you’re leaving,” Rose repeated her tone full of certainty.
Sighing he kept his eyes down “My parents are pushing me to come back, and,” he paused choosing his words carefully “It’s time for me to go home,”
Rose’s mouth went dry as she closed her eyes and shook her head, to hold back the sudden wave of shock that was pulsing through her. “When?” she asked as coolly as her voice would let her.
“Umm… tonight,” he said quickly, closing the folder and looking up to her for the first time “My old boss was able to squeeze me in on the ten o’clock port key,”
Rose nodded while glancing around the room, her eyes suddenly landing on his with a piercing stare “Were you even going to tell me?” she said softly. Scorpius looked away in shame, giving her an answer. Rose crossed her arms, “You were just going to leave and think I wouldn’t notice?”
Scorpius shifted his gaze from her “Goodbyes and us, never work out well.” He said simply, knowing that they usually did and said things that meant everything in the moment, but never changed the outcome, leaving them hurt. He was hoping to avoid that this time.
Taking a shaky breath “So what, we’re supposed to go back to the way things were? No contact at all, pretending that each other doesn’t exist.” There was a slight edge in Rose’s voice. “I’m I supposed to forget the last five months?”
Forcing his eyes to her, he gave a look of reassurance, “Rose, this is a good thing. Matt will get his position back and you can go about your life as if I never disrupted it,”
“Is that what you want?” she could barely say the words.
Scorpius’ eyes bolted to hers, staring at them intently “Is there a reason why I should stay?” a hint of a pleading tone in his voice.
Rose held a quick breath in total silence, no words coming to her. From the beginning she had known there was a possibility of this question. She just wasn’t expecting it for another month. She thought that she would have a month to figure out what it is that she wanted. To seek the words that she didn’t have at the moment. Unable to look at him she stared at her shoes. Her mind a complete blank.
Scorpius was quiet for too long of a moment. He waited longer than he probably should for an answer which was not going to come, and he knew why. Bringing his eyes back down to the folder. “It’s what needs to happen,” His next words pained him, but he said them anyway “For you to move on,”
Rose snapped her head up to him, the true understanding of why he was leaving. Her chest shrank, finding it hard to breath, rattled at the thought.
Coming out from around the counter, Scorpius handed the folder to her “I always knew that there was a reason why I ended up here,” his voice was strict, like a teacher. “I thought it was so we could have a second chance,” There was a deafeningly loud silence between his words “But I was wrong, it was so we…” his voice cracked “You… it was so you could move on.”
Rose’s heart froze, mid beat. Holding her breath she pressed her lips in a firm line. “And what about you,”
He gave her soft eyes. Soft, remorseful, eyes. “I’m always going to love you, but I won’t hold you back anymore,” he whispered, picking a spot on the floor to stare at “I guess it’s like you said, I’ll always be fighting temptation,”
“And what makes you think that I can move on?” she asked, hiding pools of tears that swelled in her eyes.
Scorpius shook his head “Because a part of you already has,”
Taking in a large breath she looked up to him for the last time, feeling her insides becoming numb. She didn’t know what to say or think, so she said the first thing that popped into her head “Goodbye Scorpius,” and she rushed towards the door.
Instinctively reaching behind him as she passed by, Scorpius grabbed her hand. They stood connected, but neither one able to face each other. Closing her eyes Rose, couldn’t breathe, she didn’t want to be in there a second longer.
“Goodbye Rose,” Scorpius finally said, giving her hand a squeeze tightly.
Gasping, a tear fell down her cheek, and Rose pulled away from him walking out the door.
Rose walked around for hours, her mind focusing on nothing. She had never figured out what she was going to say to Scorpius, she thought that she would see him and just know.
Although none of that mattered now. Scorpius was leaving and she didn’t know what to think or feel. Life without Scorpius Malfoy was hard to think about, even though she had lived it for so many years, she guessed she became use to him always being around. And now for him to just leave… Rose felt like he had ripped her heart out completely, and she didn’t know why because she gave him no reason to stay.
Then suddenly the answer hit her, it hit her hard on the top of the head like a moron. The reason it hurt her so bad was because she did love him. She loved him more than anything else, and she didn’t want him to go. Not now, not in a month, not ever. That was unless she was going with him, because they sat down and talked about it, like a normal couple. Other than that, she wanted him here, with her, where he belonged.
And that crap about moving on, that infuriated her more than anything. Where did he get off telling her that she needed to move on? So what if she could, that didn’t mean that she wanted to, Rose was perfectly content with staying in love with him for the rest of her life, because she didn’t want to know a time where she wasn’t in love with him.
Rose suddenly stopped walking, the words and emotions speeding towards her all at once. The words that she was afraid to say, but knew that if she didn’t say them, she would never forgive herself. At the moment she didn’t care about the risk she was taking because that’s what love was, and she did love him. She wanted to be with him, and refused to let him go without a fight.
Rose ran, as fast as her body would physically could, through the closed down train station, which had been converted for magical purposes. Occasionally bumping into people she would receive dirty looks, that said slow down. But she didn’t have time to slow down it was already nine fifty-four.
Her heart raced loudly, pulsing through her ears. Every second that passed was second that she didn’t have with him, so she pushed her body farther. The large hanging clock was at nine fifty-five.
She knew she was crazy for doing this, but she really didn’t care, because she was fighting for him. Even if he didn’t know, at least she knew that she tried.
“Scorpius Malfoy!” she called to the direction of the London platform, begging that he could hear her.
Her eyes frantically wondered through the crowd of people, searching for the abnormally blond hair man.
For years Rose’s heart had lived in this cold bitter place, and Scorpius coming back shocked it awake. Yes it took Scorpius leaving, for her to realize that she never wanted to go back to the way things were, but the point is that she noticed it and she hoped that he would give her this one last chance.
Stopping Rose spun around and looked at the clock, nine fifty-six. Carefully skimming her eyes through the groups of people. Families giving their last goodbyes to loved ones, children crying as their parents held them, elderly wizards becoming impatient from waiting in the long lines. Rose searched through them all, her eyes suddenly landing on the pair of gray blue eyes that she would recognize anywhere, and she just stared.
Scorpius had a look of disbelief along with a humorous smirk as he walked towards her, in complete shock.
Rose refused to move her eyes off his and him from hers. The shared look between them, said only one thing; that this was the last time they were coming after each other like this. That no matter how it ended, they weren’t going to get the chance to have this again.
Her chest rising and falling, as he came slowly towards her, stopping about a foot away “What are you doing here?” His voice strong yet confused.
Giving a weak smile, Rose couldn’t move her eyes off of him “I know that there is probably a thousand reasons why you should go, but I have one for why you should stay, and it is because I am hopelessly and indefinitely in love with you,”
His lips parted in a stunned silence “Rose, you have the chance to move on,”
Rose shook her head “No, I don’t. I never did, and damn it I don’t want to,” filling the gap between them, she stood on the tips of her toes and wrapped her arms firmly around his neck, “If moving on means not loving you, then I want no part of it,”
Scorpius froze at her words, her touch sending chills down his spine. The warmth radiating off her body as she breathed with him “Rose if we do this, it’s till the end.” He finally said, “My heart can’t take another heartbreak like it did six years ago.”
Taking a quivering breath, the palm of her hand ran down his cheek, feeling him waiting for a response. She was really doing this. Rose had made her choice, and it was to give those jagged broken pieces of her heart back to him, because she knew that he would be delicate with them “And you think my heart can?”
His bag slid down his shoulder, hitting the ground, with a thunderous and joyous thud. Hooking his arms around her waist, he gave a devilish grin “So what are we doing here?” Scorpius asked overwhelmed with happiness, as he couldn’t lower his smile.
“Confronting temptation?” Rose tried slyly.
Scorpius brought one of his hands to her cheek, her skin like silk as she leaned into it. He took a moment just to take her and the moment in before he tilted her head back and kissed her. His blood rushing through him, he devoured the moment.
Wrapping her hold around him tighter, Rose smiled across his lips, for the first time in years everything seemed to be fitting perfectly in place, and she had no concerns in the world. She had already fought to be with him, and now everything was right where it should be.
Running her fingers through the wispy strands of his hair, Scorpius pulled his head back with a slight look of concern on his face, as if reality had just hit him.
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked worried.
Scorpius inhaled a loud breath as he squeezed Rose closer to him “I’ve just realized two kind of important things,”
Raising an eyebrow with a question look “Which are…”
“Well first I technically don’t have a job anymore because I turned down Cronell’s position,” he said nonchalantly, “and second I also don’t have an apartment anymore because I was living in the auror department’s housing unit.”
Rose skillfully bit her lip, as she lent her head in to kiss him, “Technicalities Scorpius,” and she pressed her lips on his, right where they belonged.
A/N: Alright I spent months trying to figure out the first thing that Rose would say when she went after Scorpius, and it finally hit me four days ago in the car so I hope you like it, because it is seriously one of my two favorite quotes from this story. I also hope that you like the chapter, because it is about time. Thank you for reading and please leave a lovely review because I know I that I had to make some of you very happy. At least I hope I did.
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