Chapter 4 : Prison
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Hiya! I’m back again with chapter four. Right, chapter four? Yes. Ok, well, I hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I don’t own anything except for Clio, and my other original characters. Um, I think that’s it.
Transformations have gotten much easier over the years, they really have. I know what I need to do to make it through the full moon, without fatalities, now. But they still majorly suck. Yeah, thanks for that, daddy.
So, the day of the full moon. Color me excited.
Because I’ve been doing this for a whopping total of almost sixteen years now, I can almost function like a normal person. Except this time, Lily made me stay in the hospital wing. Apparently James told her about my little fainting incident yesterday. And she almost blew a gasket.
Damn that Potter.
I paced back and forth in front of my bed. I can’t stand the Hospital Wing. It’s too……too white. And peaceful. And I hate it. Hospitals make me feel weak. You can call me a lot of things. Cruel, bitchy, genius, self-absorbed, but not weak. Never weak. Not anymore.
“How are you feeling, honey?” Madame Pomfrey asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and spit back something spiteful. I do actually quite like Madame Pomfrey.
“I’m ok,” Edit- Imagine if you were thrown down a ravine, into a whirlpool of liquid fire that melted your insides. I feel worse than that.
But who am I to complain? I’m sure feeling a lot better than him. Lupin was in the bed farthest away from mine. The curtains were drawn, but I could tell who it was without looking. A sixth sense if you must. A book on the nightstand caught my attention. A thick collection of Muggle fairytales. With a quick glance around the room, I stepped forward and snatched the book off of the table. At least now I had something to do.
Lily refused to bring me any of my things, insisting that I needed to rest up for tonight. Gah.
I settled back down into my nest of pillows and hospital sheets, and steadied myself for hours of mindless reading and extreme boredom.
Surprisingly enough, I actually enjoyed the book. Well, it’s more like I enjoyed the illustrations. The stories themselves irritated me. Mainly because everything worked out for the good guys by the time the story came to an end. The good guys hardly ever win in real life. In all actuality, it’s more likely that the good guys will get crushed by their evil counterparts half-way through their stories.
So, I’m a pessimist at heart. Get the fuck over it.
Madame Pomfrey entered the room through her office, announcing that it was time to go.
Let’s get this show on the road.
I normally spend the full moon in a shack deep in the heart of the Forbidden Forest. It’s actual not as bad as it sounds. There’s plenty of furniture for me to rip to shreds, which I never do, but it’s a nice thought. The shack itself is enforced with enough protective spells to stun a full grown dragon into a stupor. You know, just in case I ever try to escape using force.
My idea, not theirs.
All of the spells placed on the shack are a precaution. For if I ever manage to break down the walls I put up around my mind before the transformation.
I created that spell years ago, when I was eleven. Upon coming to Hogwarts, I didn’t want to put anyone into unnecessary danger. So, I created a spell strong enough to keep me completely immobile throughout the entire transformation. Paralyzed. I could blink, and breathe, but that’s it. Of course, it makes the transformation about ten times worse.
My own personal prison.
That’s definintly the worst part. Fighting a losing battle between the larger part of me that wants to hunt, to rip, to kill, and the other, microscopic part of me saying to stay down. To stay safe.
Let me go!
Please, I need to! I need to!
I usually pass out at around this time. A last act to preserve the two, split halves of my mind.
That’s how Madame Pomfrey always finds me. On my back, deathly still, like the princesses waiting for their princes in the Muggle storybooks.
Except I’m not a princess.
And there’s no prince coming to rescue me when this is all over.
“It’s me,” a soft voice whispers. Lily. I flick my wand, and the curtains around my bed open. I usher her inside, and she casts a Muffliato charm. Sound proof curtains are a must.
“Injuries?” Lily sits down on the foot of my bed, her keen green eyes searching mine. Her asking if I’m hurt is simply a formality. She knows I come out of the full moon tired, but not physically injured.
I think I have the better deal out of the two of us, Lupin and me. My damage is mental, his is physical. I just shove my haunting memories of the full moon in with every other traumatic experience I’ve suffered through. He has to spend days in the Hospital Wing. My scars are locked away deep inside my mind. He wears his on his sleeve. Figuratively speaking, that is.
“Are they here yet?” I asked, playing with the hem of the sheets.
“No, not yet. But I passed them on my way down here.” I nodded, setting up the magic dome around my bed. It keeps the Marauders from being able to see me on that fancy little map of theirs.
Yes, I know about their map. I know just about everything that goes on in this school. Everything.
While I enjoy knowing things about other people, one of my biggest pet peeves is having people know things about me. It was, and still is, really hard for me to lose control and tell Lily even minor things about myself. I still have problems sharing information with other people, even Lily, my best friend.
She still doesn’t know everything about…about my sis-family. About my family.
The door flies open, and the sound of two obnoxious and all too familiar voices disrupt the quiet of the hospital wing.
“Come on, mate, she’s just another girl.”
“Padfoot, you don’t understand. I don’t even understand. But I love her. I just do.” I quickly identified the speaker as Potter. I saw Lily shift uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye.
This has the potential to be extremely interesting.
“Prongs. You’re whipped,” I could almost picture Black shaking his head in disbelief. We do agree on one point- love, or any form of honest affection, tends not to exist.
“I know,” James said miserably, “she’s the one girl I’ve ever really liked, I mean really liked, and she won’t even look at me.”
“Hey, why don’t you try being friends with her first? I mean, stop asking her out and embarrassing her every ten minutes.”
“Peter, that’s the first intelligent thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Yes, yes it is.
Wait, did I just agree with Black?
My head must still be recovering.
“You know, what, Wormtail? I will,” James said, voice hopeful.
“Moony’s asleep. We’ll have to come back later.” Their voices faded, and I assumed that they left the infirmary.
Lily jumped up, “I just remembered, I have some….homework. Yeah, that’s right, Charms. Homework. I’ll see you later then. Or not, I probably won’t have time to come see you when you’re still in here. Because of all the homework. Uh, bye then!” She tripped over her own feet in her haste to reach the door, and face-planted. Lily scrambled to her feet, her face as red as her hair, and flat out ran away from me.
“I’ll catch you later,” she shouted over her shoulder before disappearing down the corridor.
So, sorry about the filler-ish chapter. Next one will be better, I promise. I’m actually thinking about throwing in an occasional Sirius PoV. Let me know how you feel about it.
Also, I’m considering changing the name of my story. Which do you like better: One Step at a Time, or Hit or Miss? I need some help deciding…..I’m horrible at making decisions like this.
You know it took me, like, five days to pick a name for Clio? I was stuck between Clio and Aishling (Pronounced Ash-ling)
Thanks again for reading.
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