A/N: Hey all! Faster update than last time but still not my best!! So I apologize and will work on updating faster! ANYWHO, here it is :) Read and Review, please and thank you <3
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter.
Time at the burrow seemed to fly by, the pressure of Order meetings and training had started to take a toll on me. I was tired everyday and it seemed to take every bit of my strength to get myself out of bed.
My alarm blared red and I groaned into my pillow. The nights never seemed long enough, and the days seemed even shorter. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, the maps crinkling as I tried to move. Maps? I looked down and remembered trying to get done more Order work before bed. Looking over them now I can see it didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I sighed and pushed my blankets and maps to the side and stood up, stretching my back and arms as I breathed. Another day, another person missing. When will it ever stop?
I stretched onto my tippy toes, my tank top rising a inch or so before I released my arms from above my head. Better get the day going, starting with these possible death eater location maps I promised to have done by tonight.
I braided my hair down the side and sat back down, ready to get in a couple hours of serious location plotting. Well that was my plan until I heard a knock at my door. My head snapped up and I raced to reach for my dressing robe.
“Hello?” I grumbled, my voice coming out rough from lack of sleep. I heard shifting at the door and I reached for the door knob.
I opened the door to find a red blob of hair moving in front of me.
“Hey Cas! Thought I heard you moving in there, do you want to come down to breakfast?” It was Lily, again. She had been trying to get closer with me for a month straight now, asking me to every meal, trying to catch my eye in training and approving of my information in every meeting. I shouldn’t have made that comment of her being a brilliant witch, I regret it with every fiber of my being.
“No sorry, I have to get done a couple things for the Order meeting tonight. Maybe next time!” I said with fake cheerfulness, trying to shut the door in the red head’s face. However my plans were throttled when she bounded into my room, looking around as she did.
“Or come right in.” I muttered under my breath and went to go put away some of my dirty laundry.
“What are you working on? Maybe I can help!” Lily asked, moving towards the maps and papers cluttered on my bed, her eyes still darting around my room; taking in every inch of space. What she was looking for I wasn’t too sure, seeing as how the only thing I own is a comb and a picture of my parents.
“It’s nothing, just trying to remember the locations of meeting places for the Death Eaters I was traveling with a few months ago.” I stated, trying to put away my maps before she got into my business. Too late.
“Oh some of these Sirius might know! He was dragged to tons of pureblood houses and parties when he was younger. Kingsley said that the Death Eaters might be using some of their houses as meeting places! We should ask him.” Lily stated, suddenly intrigued in my work. The only thing I like about Lily is when she snaps out of this joyful, bouncing child and into a dedicated Order member. To me this is a kind of person I can actually relate with.
“I doubt that oaf knows anything useful. When did Kingsley mention that to you? He is suppose to be telling me everything he finds out.” I asked hurriedly, throwing on my mother’s jacket and boots. It had taken a while to gain their trust, but I was slowly doing it. The elder members were a lot easier to win over than I thought, mainly because Moody trusted me to the highest regard. Kingsley was a tough one, mostly because of how I harassed him when he first had to question me.
The members my age were starting to warm up to the idea of me, based on my information that had caught a handful of Death Eaters and stopped a few muggle raids. Sirius is another story, never will I trust him and until I do I doubt he would trust me either. Not like I wanted him to anyways.
Lily stopped moving and shuffling the papers to sigh deeply and sit on my bed. A fact I did not like for three reasons, 1) that’s my bed, 2) it is never good when a female sighs and 3) that’s my bed.
“You don’t like him do you?” Lily asked, looking up at me with so much curiosity it made my mouth twitch a little.
“I thought it was obvious.” I answered, ignoring her eyes and picking up the papers to organize them.
“Well yeah, it is really obvious. But I just don’t understand why?” Lily wondered, getting up from my bed (thank you) and helping me roll up the maps.
“We have history Evans, leave it at that.” I replied, grabbing the maps from her hand, nodding at her in thanks and leaving my room.
The last thing I need is people like Evans looking into my history, especially a memory I have tried to forget for the sake of my insanity and pride.
Two Hours Later
I slumped into the back room of the Burrow, my face and hair damp with sweat from my run around their property. For a family that isn’t as well off as others they sure do have a lot of land. I put my hands on my knees and breathed heavily, you would think it would get easier with all the training but it is like I have been doing nothing for the last year.
I kicked off my shoes and left them outside, knowing Molly would kill me if I left them on again like the other night. I never want to cross a pregnant ginger woman again in my life, she is scarier than a lot of the Death Eaters’ I have met.
I smiled at the memory and walked toward the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I walked in to find the kitchen empty, a rare occurrence these days. I looked around almost dazed at what to do, before grabbing a glass and chugging back a glass or two.
Putting my cup in the sink I jogged up the stairs, slowing when I got to my landing. I stopped startled when I heard loud, obnoxious voices.
“Hey Black! Lily thinks you should apologize to that Cas girl.” James’ voiced boomed from his room. I heard a smack that followed and slowly slinked to the door, not caring if I got caught for eavesdropping.
“When I told you to talk to him about it, I didn’t mean for you to do it in front of everyone James!” Lily scolded, followed by the sounds of footsteps and the bed squeaking as she sank into it.
“Apologize? What for? Are you off your rocker? She is the one who blasted ME across the bloody courtyard! Not the other way around Gingersnaps.” Sirius stated, causing Peter and Remus to laugh at the nickname.
“Oy! I am the only one who can call Lils Gingersnaps.” James’ voice cut across the laughter before they all joined in. My face felt hot, I had forgotten what it was like for people to be talking about you. It was like I was back at Hogwarts all over again. I crept a little closer, trying to use their voices to mask my footsteps.
“All I am saying Sirius, is that she said you two had a past. Would it be that hard to figure out what it is and clear the air? For the sake of the Order?” Lily pressed after the laughter died down, I heard James mutter “here we go again” before Sirius leapt up out of his seat.
“See, you keep on saying this. But I can’t for the life of remember her or any sort of past? The bird is completely mental. I had no idea she existed until she washed up at that muggle raid! How am I suppose to apologize when I don’t even remember her?” Sirius exclaimed loudly, causing Lily to huff.
“You really don’t remember anything?” Lily asked, there was no response. The conversation turned to Qudditch and I took my leave. My hands were shaking with rage and my vision became blurred with tears.
How dare he not even remember what he did! What he did to me had haunted me for years, the least he could do was bloody well remember it!
I snuck into my room and ran my hands through my hair. Bloody Marauder, they never bloody change. Bloody hell. I kicked my stool over and groaned in frustration. I can’t believe he can still have this effect on me, my stomach was in knots and the worst part was that I was actually hurt by what he had just said. I know I was a no body in Hogwarts but still, you would think you would remember a girl you humiliate in front of the entire school.
Christmas Ball 1975
My stomach was eating itself out as I tried to curl my hair properly. In fact it had been doing that for weeks now, and only because a boy with pretty hair asked me to the Christmas ball. I couldn’t believe he was even talking to me, let alone asking me to be his date for the ball!
I sighed softly in frustration, this whole hair and makeup scenario wasn’t going to swell for me. Especially since I had always been the quiet, bookish type who barely brushed her hair let alone curled it. I had been at it for an hour now and there looked to be no hope. I piled on the hairspray and prayed to Merlin for a miracle.
I smiled wide as I put on my dress, I had used all my savings at the last shopping trip to afford a pretty dress. I just want him to like me, I had spent way to long staring at him from a distance. Wishing he would know my name and finally my prayers had been answered! I zipped up my dressed and giggled in glee, I spun around loving the way the dress spread out beneath me. I hoped he likes me, dear Merlin let him like me,
I dashed a bit of blush on my cheeks and swiped my eyelashes with some mascara before putting my new heels on. I clicked them together and stared at the finished product, this was my cinderella moment and I refused to let my stubborn hair or boyish figure ruin it for me.
I checked the time and my face paled, I didn’t know it was that late! The other girls weren’t changing in our dormitories since they had been invited by the Head Girl to join her in the process of getting ready, so I didn’t notice how much time had passed.
I gulped loudly, sucked in my tummy and walked down the stairs. I waited for that “isn’t she stunning” moment but it never came, I craned my neck looking for him but alas I did not see him. Maybe he meant to meet me in the Great Hall, after all I am a tad behind. I smiled to myself, reassuring myself I was right and I practically skipped to the Great Hall. The Hall was crowded and I had a hard time finding his black hair with all the others. I smiled and thanked Flitwick at the door and accepted his compliment before passing him into the Hall. It was so beautifully decorated I was dazed for a moment or two before I realized who I was looking for. Enter the feeling of a million butterflies.
I scanned the crowd once again before I saw him. He was with the rest of the Marauders, laughing and dancing slightly to the music. I nodded to myself and slowly walked over, as I approached the Marauders and their dates were heading off to get drinks. Their eyes glanced over me and I was shocked when they didn’t recognize me, thinking Sirius would’ve told them about his date.
I gulped again and tapped Sirius on the shoulder, he turned around and his eyes bugged out. I blushed and looked down at my shoes, only to see the petite figure of Sherry Wood swoop in and kiss Sirius dead on the mouth.
I looked up shocked and Sirius returned the kiss before turning back to me. My mouth was probably wide open and my eyes were pouring tears but at that point I didn’t care.
“I thought-” was all I was able to spit out, my voice softly carrying over the loud music.
Sherry’s loud laugh cut through my sentence and she threw her head back in laughter. Sirius joined in and wrapped his arm around her waist.
“I thought you knew I was joking?” Sirius laughed out, holding onto Sherry for support. More tears began to pour down my face, a crowd had formed, the Marauders no where to be found to control their member.
“You thought he actually wanted to go to the ball with you? Pathetic girl, where did you get that dress? Did the house elves lend you it?” Sherry howled, clutching Sirius for balance. The crowd laughed and I looked down at my dress. Trying to get a grip on myself before I completely lost it. I tried to spit out a comeback but nothing would come out but whimpers and tears.
“Here Sirius has something that will help you with your dress, it will go smashing with your eyes sweetie!” Sherry spat at me, grabbing Sirius’ hand and assisted in throwing his drink on my pretty white dress. I looked down at the huge red stain and turned to run. Only to run right into another person, spilling their drink down my dress as well. The crowd laughed, as I backed up in horror. Staring around at the sneering faces of the upper class.
“How about one for her hair?” Sirius joked, grabbing Sherry’s drink and slowly pouring it over my head.
I grabbed my hair and spun back around to face him, he was not who I thought he was. I always though of him as the perfect charmer, not a big stuck up bully.
I locked eyes with him and for a second there I thought I saw regret, or maybe it was pity. But I held his gaze as I cried more and he finally looked away.
“Here Sirius, you’re right! I can’t believe you got the Library Girl to come to the ball!” Sherry cackled, handing over a sack of galleons. I finally was able to feel my legs enough to run from the scene, my heels fell off as I ran and I didn’t stop back to pick them up even though they costed me all my Christmas money. I ran past the front doors and almost ran right into the Marauders, I mumbled a sorry and started back to my room. I heard Lily call after me but I ignored her as I pushed on.
Forever will I be remembered as the Library Girl. The one who thought she was good enough for Sirius Black.
I wiped away the falling tears and shook my head in anger. That day is the last thing I need to be thinking about right now. I looked down at my hands and decided the only way to fix the shakiness was to have a hot shower.
I jumped in and tried to calm down my beating heart. If only it was that simple.
“Cas and Remus, you will take the Graveyard shift. Circle the neighborhood and report anything that seems out of the ordinary. If you find anything report back to the Order right away, do not go in alone. Cas I am talking to you so pay attention.” Moody barked, I snapped my head up and nodded. My mind still in the past.
“Sorry Moody.” I replied, clearing my throat as I did so. I looked around and saw Sirius staring at me in curiosity. I locked his gaze and for once I had to look away, his words from earlier still in my head. He didn’t even remember what he did to me.
I was shook from my thoughts when everyone started to stand up from the table, I laced up my boots and started for the door.
“Cas, wait up!” I heard a voice call for me, I turned to see Remus shrugging on his jacket. Right, we had patrol, we literally just went over this.
“Right, sorry Remus.” I muttered, still not myself. Remus nodded and we began our silent walk to the place where we could apparate.
“You know where we are meeting up? Or should we apparate together?” Remus asked, once we passed the fence.
“I know where it is.” I replied and turned on the spot, having my insides being squeezed out by the beautiful transportation of apparation.
I landed roughly on the cobbled streets of this small wizarding town, I walked up to a gleaming statue and read the label: “Godric’s Hollow”. I smiled to myself and felt my inner Gryffindor shine as I looked upon the town, no one had noticed my sudden appearance. I heard a pop and looked over to see Remus try and catch his balance.
I stifled a laugh only to see his head snap up with mocked offense.
“Find something funny Cas?” Remus scoffed, walking past me to start the rounds.
“Not at all Lupin, not at all.” I joked, catching up to his long strides. I sighed and continued in silence beside Remus.
“So, you’re Moody’s Goddaughter.” Remus started awkwardly, I nodded and left it at that. Remus, however, had a very different idea.
“Is he friendly towards you? I just can’t picture him smiling, let alone raising a Goddaughter.” Remus joked, I laughed a bit along with him and kicked a pebble in front of us.
“Yes, he does smile. Believe it or not he is human, just a very grumpy human.” I added, continuing to kick the pebble in front of us.
“That we can both agree on, he yelled at Sirius the other day and I thought Sirius was going to turn into dust in front of our eyes. I have never seen that much fear in that boys eyes before.” Remus laughed, kicking my pebble this time. I nodded along, not really up for a Sirius chat. Remus sensing that changed the subject.
“Were your parents in the Order?” Remus asked after a long moment.
“Yeah, they were one of the few original members.” I responded, tight lipped. Another subject I don’t want to talk about.
“I heard they were amazing Aurors too. Wish my parents were fast acting Aurors, mine own a bookshop in a muggle village.Not exactly the Death Eater killing type.” Remus added, trying to save our conversation.
“You’d be surprised what people are capable of. Besides, as book-keeps they are safe, way better than risking their lives everyday.” I replied darkly, not meaning to darken the mood. I coughed uncomfortably and shifted my eyes to Remus. He was rubbing the back of his neck and looking around as well. Great, way to go mood killer.
“You’re not too good with communication are you?” Remus asked suddenly, causing me to laugh.
“No. Not at all.” I replied, still smiling. Remus laughed too and nodded in an understanding way.
“So it’s not because of the company?” He asked.
“No, don’t take it personally.” I responded, kicking the pebble back to his side. He nodded again and we continued the rest of the shift in easy silence.
“Alright, let’s get the hell out of here. My ass is frozen” I chattered, rubbing my hands up and down on my arm.
“Agreed, let’s go back to the statue and apparate from there.” I nodded along until I heard a distant pop. I stopped in my tracks and looked up at Remus, I raised my eyebrow at him and he nodded. We both turned back into the alleyway where we heard the apparation pop.
Before we could reach it, two figures in cloaks slinked out of the shadows. I recognized them immediately, it was the Carrows. Remus and I slipped into the shadows of a near by shop and continued to follow the Carrow siblings at a far enough distance. We saw them enter one of the pubs and we ducked into the side alley.
“It’s the Carrows, I would recognize their humped backs anywhere. We need to alert the Order and find out why they are here so late.” I responded immediately, whipping out my wand to produce a patronus. I placed my wand to my throat and spoke clearly “Carrows siblings found in Godric Hollow. Currently outside of the pub they’re in. What are our orders?” I cast my patronus and watched as my lion erupted from the tip of my wand. It stalked around for a second or two, and gave a silent roar before leaping off in the direction of Moody.
“Now we wait to see if they leave the pub.” I added, sliding to have a better view of the front door.
“I’ll go check to see where their back exit is. Maybe throw a blocking jinx on it so they don’t slip out the back.” Remus stated before speed walking around back.
I sighed and waited for Moody’s patronus, he usually didn’t take too long to respond. As I waited I found myself thinking of the nice time I had tonight with Remus. I wasn’t used to being comfortable around people my age so it was shocking that we had gotten along so nicely. It makes me wonder if I am making a mistake by pushing myself away from others or not.
Remus returned just as I was shaking off my dazed thoughts, he nodded which I took to mean he sealed the exit. He came and sat beside me, running his wand through his fingers as he did so.
“Nice patronus, you were in Gryffindor right?” Remus asked, trying to make small talk. Did no one really know I was in their house? I mean c’mon. I know I was quiet but still, I thought at least the sensible Marauder would remember me.
“Yeah, same year as you lot.” I mumbled bitter, I was starting to take it to heart that I had made no impact on Hogwarts. No one even knew who I was, other than that silly Library Girl who thought she was something special.
“Sorry, I wasn’t too observant when I was younger. Don’t laugh, I know I am supposed to be the smart Marauder but I was caught up in all that cockiness too, just like the others. We thought we were something special, I am just sorry you weren’t in Hogwarts long enough to see us change.” He said, his voice sounding apologetic. I nodded but thankfully I didn’t have time to respond. Moody’s patronus flew up to us and his voice rang out “Remain a safe distance. Record any findings, in one hour return to head quarters”.
I nodded and we both stood, our conversation long forgotten. We were order members and we have a job to do.
A/N: Well there it is :) Let me know what you thought, I had to cut this chapter in two so expect a speedy update :)