Chapter 18 : Unintended
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Mandy and Charlotte continued to hang around with the Marauders, whom I was still avoiding, and while this was happening I spent time with Hector and Russell instead, or with Lily and her friends (I was a bit of a fifth wheel in that case, but they were friendly, so it was fine for the time being). I did miss the Marauders, but I was still angry at Sirius and didn’t want to deal with any more of his rudeness.
One evening as I was getting into bed, and Mandy and Charlotte had just returned from Gryffindor Tower, Mandy parted the curtains of my bed and leapt onto it, landing on my knees.
“Ouch! Mandy, what in Merlin’s name are you doing? I’m trying to go to sleep!”
“No you’re not, you just got into bed two seconds ago. I was just wondering what you meant by saying the Marauders don’t like us. They are nothing but friendly every time they see us! So tell me.”
I attempted to roll over and ignore her so I could sleep, but she was still sitting on me and I couldn’t turn over.
“It’s nothing,” I sighed. Mandy looked at me expectantly, and I said, “Fine. Well, Sirius and I got into a fight, and I’m not going to talk to him until he apologizes, which will probably be a long time because I’m sure he has never apologized for anything in his life.”
“Well, if it was nothing, why are you making a big deal of it? Why don’t you apologize?”
“Because it was his fault! And guys who are as attractive as he is can get away with anything, but I’m not going to be manipulated like that.”
“Guys who are as attractive as he is?” Mandy repeated. “Ha! Who has a crush now?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Did you hear anything else I said? When have I ever indicated that I liked him? I mean, he is good looking, I’ll admit, but there are much more important things than looks!”
Mandy’s jaw dropped in mock surprise. “Rubbish!” she cried. “More important things than looks? What nonsense! Where would you get an idea like that?”
I laughed. “Crazy, isn’t it?”
“But really, you’re not going to talk to him until he apologizes? That probably means never.”
“I know. But I’m tired of him getting away with things like this just because he’s popular.”
Mandy shrugged. “Well, do what you think is right. He’s not as insensitive as you’ve made him out to be, though.”
“I suppose… or maybe you’re biased because you’ve had a mad crush on him for five years,” I said, grinning.
She grabbed my pillow out from underneath my head and shoved it into my face. I pushed it back up at her and before I knew it, three more pillows were flying through the air. I rolled out of my bed as Mandy stood up to get Alanna with my pillow, and the five of us in our dormitory ran around and had an immensely entertaining pillow fight, which involved a lot of feathers in the air and a lot of Reparo.
On my way to class the following day, I heard loud laughter behind me indicating the Marauders were nearby. I turned around and saw Remus shove Sirius forward towards me with a laugh. I began to walk faster, but then came across Elliott Jasper and Darian Wilkes, and I slowed down, as I would rather talk to the Marauders than to Jasper and Wilkes. I couldn’t avoid Sirius forever, and I was even starting to miss fighting with him.
I turned towards Sirius, just in time to see him send a Slipping Jinx at Jasper. I rolled my eyes; Jasper and Wilkes hadn’t seemed like they were going to do anything to me this time, but Sirius had gone and provoked them – and from behind them, so they hadn’t actually seen him do it.
Jasper got off the floor angrily and yelled, “Petrificus Totalus!” My arms locked to my sides and I fell over.
“JASPER!” cried Professor McGonagall’s voice. “What do you think you’re doing? I would never expect this kind of behaviour from a fifth year. That’s another detention for you.” I felt the jinx lift from me and grinned as I saw Jasper looking furious at being caught.
“Hastings started it, Professor!” said Jasper. “She attacked me from behind when I wasn’t looking.”
McGonagall turned to me sternly. “Hastings, you should also know by now that there is no hexing allowed in the corridors.”
“I was in front of him! I didn’t do anything, I promise!” I cried.
To my surprise, Sirius backed me up. “I saw it happen, Professor, she wasn’t involved.”
Professor McGonagall looked suspiciously at him. “I take it all three of you were involved, then?”
Sirius was still trying to work his charm. “Professor, I wouldn’t lie to you. I might cause some trouble now and then, but I’d never lie, she didn’t do it.”
McGonagall looked at us, eyebrows furrowed, and with conflicting accounts and no way to tell what had actually happened, just took some points away from Slytherin and Gryffindor for such a shameful display of fighting in the hallway. After she had gone, I turned to go on my way to class, still glancing behind me at Jasper, and promptly ran into the wall.
“All right Hastings?” asked Sirius, grinning, as I stepped back and tried in vain to look dignified in spite of walking into a wall. I was reminded forcefully of the time I’d dropped books at Remus’s feet as I was trying to get away from Jasper, at this very corner in fact.
I scoffed. “As if you cared.”
“That’s not much of a way to show your appreciation. You should be grateful, I just hexed that git Jasper for you and I got you out of a detention!”
“I didn’t need any help from you. There wouldn’t have been a detention anyway if you hadn’t started anything.”
“He was asking for it.”
I frowned at him. Was he expecting me to just forget everything he had said to me last week? “Why are you talking to me, Sirius?” I asked. “Find someone else to annoy.” I started to walk away to Charms.
“Well, I wanted to apologise for what I said to you last week. But if you don’t want to hear it, I won’t bother.”
“Oh,” I said, stopping. “Thanks. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“So we’re good then.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Except we’re going to be late for class.”
“Oh yeah.” He looked around for the other Marauders, but they had already gone, so he walked around the corner with me. “I’m glad we put that behind us,” he told me as we approached the door to the Charms classroom. “I missed having you around.” I looked up at him, surprised, and he smiled – not the teasing grin I was used to, but a sincere smile. He opened the classroom door a second later and we snuck in and went to our seats just before Flitwick started talking.
Life went back to normal as I was no longer avoiding any of my friends. Throughout the rest of the week, Sirius and I were slightly more polite towards each other than before our argument, in an attempt to avoid another one. So there was no more one-sided flirting, and we reverted to our usual petty bickering, which we were quite good at.
On Saturday was Slytherin’s last Quidditch game of the year, against Hufflepuff. And for the first of Slytherin’s games this year, I was back in the stands again, watching the team play. After having had a taste of being on the team earlier this year, I desperately wanted to be out there on the pitch again, but unless Slytherin’s team had a better Captain next year, those two were likely to be my only Quidditch games at Hogwarts.
Mandy, Charlotte, Russell and I sat together; Hector wasn’t with us because he was on the team. Mandy’s new interest, Francis Madley, was also playing. Charlotte and I asked Mandy whether she wanted Slytherin or Hufflepuff to win, because if Hufflepuff won she could go congratulate Francis.
Mandy rolled her eyes. “Of course I want Slytherin to win, you idiots.”
It was only Slytherins who wanted Slytherin to win – the other houses were all supporting Hufflepuff – but this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Slytherin’s team was generally unpopular with the other houses, which was probably because our Captain was such an arse and encouraged the team to use dirty tactics.
I watched Nott hit a Bludger and thought about how much better I could do it if it were me out there instead of him. Hector made some great goals and we cheered for him. At one point Slytherin had a twenty-point lead, but eventually Hufflepuff pulled ahead, and their Seeker caught the Snitch to boot, leaving Slytherin in the dust.
Slytherin’s loss to Hufflepuff unfortunately put Gryffindor in position for first place in the Quidditch Cup. So of course, for several days after the game, James could be seen showing off on his broom whenever he had a few minutes of spare time. One such afternoon he was lazily drifting along by the lake, occasionally doing a dive, at which point several of the girls nearby would gasp or scream, only to laugh again when he easily pulled out of the dive. Lily was sitting by the edge of the lake with a book, and was glancing up at James surreptitiously every few seconds.
“Ooh, who’s checking James out,” I said as I approached.
“No,” said Lily, scowling at me over the top of her book. “Potter showing off is the only thing happening around here. I was observing, not checking him out.”
“I know, I know, I was only joking,” I said, grinning. “I won’t tell.”
She smiled, although she looked like she was trying not to. “He actually is a great Quidditch player,” she acknowledged, “but if he knew I thought so, he’d show off even more, and insist that it means I like him!”
“Of course. Although, if he shows off more, that’d mean he would spend more time in the air on his broom and less time with you,” I reasoned.
“True, but he’d still find a way to annoy me from up there.”
Almost as if on cue, James shouted, “All right ladies?” while soaring by on his broom, no-handed.
“Too cool to watch where you’re going?” she asked, as he sailed right into a nearby tree. Lily laughed, but looked over anxiously at the tree as his broom fell to the ground. James levitated himself down, unharmed, a few seconds later, and Lily’s eyes were back on her book.
“That timing was too perfect,” I said. “But I saw you watching to make sure he was okay. I don’t think you’re nearly as annoyed by him as you say you are.”
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Speaking of which, I’ve noticed that you and Sirius have been spending loads more time together lately!”
“Well yeah, we’re talking again, if that’s what you mean…”
She merely smiled and turned a page of her book. “Have you done the Runes translation for Monday?” she asked.
“Not yet,” I said. “I’ll probably do it this weekend. I’m really enjoying this sunny weather, and pretending exams aren’t in a week and a half…”
Just then, Mary Macdonald and Carol Whitby, two of Lily’s Gryffindor friends, showed up. I stayed a little while longer with them, and then departed to start studying – in truth I had spent the entire morning out enjoying the sunshine, and I really did need to get to work if I wanted to pass my exams.
That Sunday after I’d spent hours in the library finishing my Ancient Runes translation and then talking with Remus and Peter, who were also studying, I was headed back to the common room and took a shortcut through a tapestry. As I was about to come through the tapestry on the other end concealing the exit, I heard the voices of James and Sirius, in low tones as they walked through the hallway beyond the tapestry. Sirius’s voice said, “I really like her. I never thought I’d say that about a Slytherin.”
Did Sirius have a crush on a Slytherin? It was the last thing I would ever expect from him. And I had never heard Sirius sound so unsure of himself; it was oddly amusing to me. I remained hidden in the staircase behind the tapestry, waiting to find out who it was. Maybe it was Mandy! It would absolutely make her day if I could tell her that I’d found out Sirius fancied her.
James laughed. “Ask her out then.”
“I didn’t mean like that,” said Sirius defensively. “I just meant that she’s not bad, I like her as a friend. Besides, I’d never date a Slytherin.”
“I don’t know, mate,” said James. “I’m not convinced. I know you better than that. When you say things like that, it means you’re mad about a girl. And she’s not a bad choice, I suppose… it’d be better if she wasn’t a Slytherin, obviously, but you’ll have to deal with that…”
“Oi,” said Sirius. “I meant nothing by that comment. You’d understand if you weren’t such a hopeless romantic.”
James was undeterred. “Remember when you indirectly told her she was, and I quote, ‘stunningly hot’?”
“Shut up,” said Sirius. There was a scuffling noise and laughter and I assumed that Sirius had punched James, or something similar had happened. As James’s words finally registered with me, I froze, my breath catching in my throat. Sirius had said that about me, on that stupid parchment of his. I had thought that was all a joke at the time. Didn’t he dislike me? Maybe he had said that about several different girls – he could actually be referring to anyone.
“You’ve said much sillier things about Evans,” said Sirius. I couldn’t hear James’s response, as they were too far down the corridor now. I waited a few seconds to make sure they were actually gone, and poked my head out of the tapestry.
As I walked back to the common room, I thought over what I had just overheard. Did Sirius like me? All we ever did was get into fights. And he had definitely flirted with me a bit, but I had never thought it was anything real. I didn’t give him the attention he seemed to thrive on; I responded to him with sarcasm rather than interest or flirting in return. So I had no idea what to think. But despite Sirius’s denial, James had appeared to think there was more to it than Sirius admitted, and James knew him better than anyone. And so I found myself wondering if there was something there… if Sirius did like me.
I wasn’t even interested in him; I liked him as a friend, although he annoyed me most of the time. And I was worried that now I’d overheard his conversation with James, now that this idea had been planted in my head, it would be awkward next time I saw him. I wished I hadn’t heard anything.
Mandy was lying on her bed as I walked in, folding a piece of parchment. “Hey!” she greeted me as I walked in.
“Hi,” I said, trying to stop thinking about what I had just heard, and threw my Ancient Runes textbook and translation into my trunk at the foot of my bed.
“I got a letter from my mum today,” said Mandy, holding up the piece of parchment. “You’re invited to stay for part of the summer. Dad added in some stuff too, he recommended that we go to the movies and see some new film called Star Wars.”
“Hmm,” I said distractedly.
“What’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” I said, and sat down on my bed.
“You always say that and I always find out what it is. It’s not nothing. Tell me!” She sat up and stared at me.
She had an uncanny way of knowing when anything was up with me, and right now I resented it. Besides, I was sort of rubbish at keeping my feelings a secret. I fidgeted a bit while I wondered how to tell her that the guy she’d liked for almost six years might fancy me. “Er, you probably don’t want to hear it.”
“Why not? Something bad happened? Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine, nothing bad, actually it’s very funny… it’s just that you won’t like it. Well, maybe – it might not mean what I think it means, but it’s very… it… just forget about it.”
“Well that made a lot of sense. What potion are you on?”
I laughed. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to keep a secret from you, I just overheard Sirius and James talking about… stuff. It was nothing important, just their boring conversation. Can you believe exams are in a week?”
Mandy rolled her eyes. “Clever topic change. No, I can’t believe it, I’ll be up for another three hours at least, studying for Transfiguration.” She looked at me again, showing every sign of wanting to ask me more about Sirius and James, but thankfully didn’t say anything.
“Yeah, I think I need to work on that too.” I dug out A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration and my notes from my trunk and lay on my bed, reading.
“Sorry for bothering you,” said Mandy, lying back down and setting her letter on her bedside table. “I shouldn’t have been so nosy.”
“It’s all right, you were fine. Leave it up to you to instantly sense when something’s up with me.” I laughed.
“Yeah, I know you too well, I guess. And if I wasn’t being nosy, that means I can ask again, right?” She grinned.
Since she continued to ask, and stared at me, I relented, although I was sure I was being a terrible friend by doing so. “Fine, but if you don’t like it you can’t get angry with me, you just spent five minutes begging me to tell you… I overheard James and Sirius talking, apparently James thinks that Sirius likes me. Silly, isn’t it?”
“Oh,” said Mandy after a second’s pause. She looked entirely unsurprised. “Well, yeah, I reckon he does.”
“What? You never said anything before.” All my guilt at wanting to keep it a secret evaporated, as it was evident she’d known for a while and not told me. Although as I said it, I realized I wouldn’t really have wanted her to tell me – I hadn’t even wanted to hear it from Sirius.
“Of course not, you were too preoccupied about Luke so I was hoping you wouldn’t notice Sirius; then maybe I’d still have had a chance…”
“Maybe you do. Maybe he’ll change his mind. Merlin knows I can’t stand him…”
She looked contemplative for a second and then asserted, “It doesn’t matter. I have Francis now.”
“Well, not really. But I think we have potential. He seemed happy when I congratulated him on Hufflepuff’s win in the last Quidditch match.”
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