Chapter 3 : Words, Words, Words
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AN: Decidedly, this chapter is dedicated to my loyal reviewer and beta indyheart! Thanks for all of your help!
Amazing chapter image by Caren @TDA!
September 1st, 1976
Grace closed her handbook, warily glancing out the window at the sun that was beginning to peek out from behind the Forbidden Forest, staining the sky pink and orange. She was seated on the floor with the four boys. James and Peter, despite their inclined interest, had fallen asleep on the hard surface. Sirius, although quite silent, had remained awake with Grace and Remus and now sat with a hardened look on his face, a contemplative look.
Remus, who had been making inquiries since they had started, continued. "So let me get this straight," he began dryly. "I'm your Servator, your protector or savior or whatever. We're destined to be together but not in a romantic fashion as I am not your true love, but what you called the 'wolf' inside me lusts for you. And you want to train me, to control said wolf, to bond with it, so that I can turn into this wolf completely and control when will, or will not, turn into said wolf.... And then you want me to fight with you?"
"Well, along side me. But you've pretty much got the idea." Grace smiled
Remus frowned. "You do know that there isn't actually a wolf inside me, right? It's just what they call the beast that I turn into-"
"-But there is!" Grace cut him off frantically. "Two souls trapped in one body, fighting for control, that is what is so tragic about your curse! That's why you turn into that 'beast' during the moon, Remus. It's your soul and the wolf's soul fighting to gain control. I know it gets a bit complex, but it will work Remus; I've done this before, you just have to trust me...."
Remus sighed and looked away.
"I don't know, Moony," Sirius said, breaking his bout of silence. "We don't know her. Do you really think that we can trust her?"
"Sitting right here...."
"Damocles is working on this potion that's supposed to help-"
Grace shook her head, interrupting him. "The wolfsbane potion? Yes, that will be of great help to the werewolves that can obtain it, but it only will ease the symptoms of the curse, not destroy it. I am offering you a way to live with this, the both of you -you and the wolf- to live with one another.
"Anne is my dearest friend, the one who attended the institution with me, and I helped her with this too. Except Anne is not my Servator, so I'm sure that this time it will be much easier, if you only tried."
Remus and Sirius exchanged looks, as if having an entire conversation of their own. Grace waited, slightly impatient, and her nerves a bit short due to lack of sleep. The boys eventually looked back at her. She felt as though she was being judged, dissected and displayed for all to see. Fear gripped her as a thought of them questioning her mental stability forced its way into her mind. She was not entirely sure that she would believe her, if she were to switch places with them.
"Tell me something, Remus. It was you who carried me to the Hospital wing, wasn't it?" Grace continued, in hopes of gaining their trust.
Remus nodded slowly.
"Why did you do that?"
He hesitated for a moment, opening his mouth and then closing it again. He looked from Grace, to Sirius, to his slumbering comrades and sighed, sounding a bit frustrated as he spoke. "Because...because you needed my help."
"Because the wolf has a special connection with me, and sensed my turmoil," Grace finished for him, her mouth curving into a slight smile.
"Well," Sirius added, slapping Remus affectionately on the back, "Moony here is a good guy; he would've helped any damsel in distress."
Grace smiled. "You said your last name was Lupin, right?"
Remus narrowed his eyes a bit and nodded, saying, "Yeah, why?"
"So your father is Lyall Lupin, I assume?" Grace pressed.
"Uhm, well yeah."
"I met your father a couple of years ago, when I was 14. I needed his help defeating a particularly pesky lethifold. It had devoured nearly half of a village, for some reason its hunger seemed insatiable. I had tried to defeat it myself but, y'know, you can't exactly kill non-beings. I'm luckily I had a functioning patronous charm or it probably would of eaten me too. An acquaintance of mine referred Lyall to me because of his skill in non-human spirituous apparitions and he helped me...deal...with the lethifold. I positively despise creatures with amortaltiy...it makes my job exceedingly difficult."
Remus smiled thoughtfully saying, "You can't kill what isn't exactly alive."
Yawning, Sirius laughed. "You and Remus' dad defeated a lethifold when you were fourteen? Impressed."
Grace laughed and stood slowly. "How about I give you some time to think about this, and to get some sleep. I've got to go speak with Albus."
Before she left, Remus called her name. "You wont tell anyone, right? About me...or the others?" Worry shimmered through his honey-colored eyes.
Grinning, Grace snorted, wondering if he really thought that she was going to tell his secret. She wondered if he really thought she could be that kind of a monster. She knew, of course, the prejudices surrounding lycanthropy. "Of course not. And I trust you'll keep my secret as well?"
To her dismay, Grace soon realized that she had no idea where exactly she would find her dorm room, and she desperately needed a shower. She stood in the common room, glaring at the staircase that ascended before her, wishing that if she won the idiosyncratic staring contest, then the inanimate object would reveal the secret location of her sleeping quarters. Out of all the enemies she had, Grace felt a particularly strong emotion for the staircase, perhaps because she could not technically defeat it. For the time being, she would despise this stairwell.
As a door softly clicked close above her, she was pulled from her thoughts. Footsteps approached the top of the staircase and Grace panicked a bit, deciding how exactly she could appear to be acting natural and not plotting against her enemy. She glanced briefly over her shoulder into the common room at the numerous amounts of furniture she could run to but there was no time for that.
The creak of the top step caused Grace to wince as she turned her attention back to the approaching body. With fiery red hair falling over her shoulders in a waterfall of glory, the girl descended with ease. Upon noticing Grace at the bottom, she gave her an odd look and Grace stepped aside so that she could reach the bottom.
"Hello...?" the red-head said kindly. "What are you doing?"
Grace sighed, feeling thwarted and a bit like a child caught doing something naughty. "I don't know where my room is," she muttered, looking anywhere but the green eyes that stared at her curiously. This was James' wife, Grace knew, or at least his future wife. She had only just met the girl and already felt foolish. She seriously considered altering the red-head's memory and trying again.
The girl smiled at her, extending her hand. "You must be Grace." she said. "I'm Lily Evans."
Grace forced a smile and reached out her hand to shake Lily's. At the contact however, Grace felt her mind assaulted by images, some she had previously seen and some that were new.
Images of a younger Lily laying in the grass with a dark-haired boy, speaking unheard words to one another in content. An older version of her appeared, smiling proudly as she stood from the stool at her sorting ceremony. A scene of her brother appeared, smiling cheekily at Lily while the red-head responded in a glare, a foul look upon her face. The same girl that stood before her now was red in the face as she opened her mouth in silent commands at James, who had that dark haired boy dangling upside down under the power of his wand. There was flash-forward to Lily standing protectively before a crib. With a flash of light, the scene ended as the life left her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Grace heard the faint voice and she opened her eyes. She was on her knees, her hands entwined in her own hair, pressing against her temples. She steeled herself, forcing her breathing her slow as she became away of the body crouched down next to her and the hand on her back.
She tuned her head to look at Lily's concerned face feeling her mouth slightly falling open. Yes, she was definitely going to have to erase this girl's memories....
"Are you alright?" Lily asked again with urgency.
"Yeah," Grace whispered, standing. "Yeah I'm fine. I must still be a little light-headed from yesterday...."
Lily frowned. "Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing...?"
"I've been there all night," Grace lied. "Madame Pomfrey said that I'd be fine, I must have become too excited or something, but I hit my head when I fell. I think that I just need to find my dorm...."
Pressing her lips together, Lily continued to visually assess her. Grace was flashing her a most convincing smile, and Lily eventually returned it slightly.
"Up the stairs, fourth door on the left," Lily said. "You're sharing a dorm with me. The other girls are still sleeping, though, they're not very early risers, especially on a Saturday."
"Oh perfect! Thank you!"
Lily nodded. "No problem. And listen, I'm a prefect and if you need any help, just come ask me, okay?"
"Alright, thank you. It was nice meeting you." Well, maybe she would hesitate to charm Lily's memory, for the time being. Perhaps Lily would overlook Grace's first impression.
"The fuck?" Grace growled, standing before the large mirror in the bathroom. The bandages that had been wrapped around her body were laying in a pool around her feet. She stared at her body in the mirror's reflection in horror.
Her wounds had indeed healed, but dark scars remained etched into her. Along the side of her ribcage was a lion, rearing back on its hind legs, its feet resting on her hip bone. It's mouth was open, lips curled in what she could only presume to be a ferocious growl. It faced the viper that was mirroring its posture and movement along the opposite ribcage. She touched one of the images, feeling the raised skin under her fingers.
Groaning in frustration, she turned around and peeked over her shoulder into the mirror. An eagle and a badger were returning her gaze from her lower back, like unwanted tattoos, mocking her.
A strangled, furious shriek erupted from her throat. "Fuck me!" she swore, slamming her hand up against a wall in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Balls!" Her breathing was labored and she felt hot tears behind her eyes.
There was an abrupt knock at the bathroom door.
"Is everything alright?" a soft voice asked.
Grace looked at the door, having forgotten about the sleeping girls beyond its barrier. "Fine...I'm fine," she managed to say through gritted teeth.
She walked to the bath, turning the knobs and putting a stopper in the drain as the water warmed. Grace willed the sound of the water to calm herself, but her nerves were too rattled, so she lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. The smooth smoke almost instantly brought her temporary relief and she sank into the water, reveling in the heat.
"What the fuck, Albus?" Grace exclaimed, showing off her newly acquired scars. At his chuckle, however, she shoved her sweatshirt back down to cover the offending scars. She leaned forward, slapping her hands on the front of his desk and pouted, her lower lip protruding slightly before pressing firmly back against the upper one indignantly. "It's not funny, Albus," she said sounding exasperated. "That motherfucking rotten hat gave me more scars-and did you see them? The House symbols? I mean, what the hell is that? I ought to burn that wretched-"
"-Calm yourself, Grace," Albus demanded, agitation making itself known.
Grace would have to heed his words; she knew better than to act this way around Albus.
She exhaled a couple of times before dropping down to sit in her previously abandoned chair. She knew that Albus did not approve of her foul language. Despite her best attempts to censor herself, however, it seemed that stressful times brought out the worst of it. Folding her arms across her chest she apologozed, a hint of defiance creeping its way into her voice.
Albus quirked and eyebrow and sighed, folding his hands in front of him. He stared at them for a moment with a thoughtful expression on his face before lifting his eyes back to Grace, who was staring at him expectantly.
"Now Grace," he began slowly. "There hasn't been a known Trucido for generations. Furthermore, not much is really known about them other than that it s their duty to destroy dark creatures and beings. If there isn't anything in your handbook about this, then I suppose it's just another mystery of this castle. I don't, however, feel as though the Sorting Hat is to blame."
"Bullsh-" Grace stopped and exhaled. "Scat."
"Grace, your ancestors are the one's who wrote that handbook for future generations to use. You, yourself have even written a few pages, have you not? Perhaps you can add your experience and maybe one day you will figure it out. When your great-great-great grandmother decided not to marry her true love, that child she bore ended the Trucido line. The world thought that this was permanent until your mother met your father and had James and yourself. Somewhere in her blood that gene was laying dormant, and became activated upon their union. It seemed that somehow, someway, your mother was able to meet her true love...your father. But this is generations later than your grandparents', things change."
Noting the urgency in his voice, Grace watched her godfather carefully and realized that, much like she herself, really did not understand what was happening to her. Albus- the man who had given her the handbook as a present when she was a child, the man who had been able to give her nearly every answer about who she was, why she was, why she was where she was, and all of her questions about the magic she could create- was stumped by an occurrence in his own school. He was the one who had taken her with him to this school for a few years now to spend the holidays and the summers, so that she wouldn't be confined at that institution. He'd been her mentor, her savior, and the only father-figure that she could ever remember, and now he had no answers to give her.
Grace noted the troubled look on his face and offered him the most truthful smile she could muster. "I'm sorry," she said, looking away. "I guess I got myself a bit riled up...."
Albus smiled gently. "Given your current occupation, I would advise you to lean how to control your temper, especially in the face of stressful cricumstances."
Grace frowned, knowing that he was right.
"As long as we are on the subject of the Sorting Hat," he said, "there is one minor complication. You see, you were never actually placed in a specific House."
Snorting, Grace rolled her eyes. "I don't belong anywhere? Shocking," she muttered, sarcasm rolling off her tongue with the words.
"Perhaps you could look at it as if you have potential in each of the Houses. In that case, you fit in everywhere," Albus said, thoughtfully.
Grace shrugged. "And then I was branded...thanks castle."
"Due to the cirriculum's structure- not to mention living arrangements- it is ideal that you belong to a specific House. I have arranged rooms for you in each of the Houses for now, but I strongly suggest choosing one soon."
"Well, the only people that I know so far are in Gryffindor. I suppose that's the House that I should be in, then?"
Albus considered her carefully. "If that is what you wish, but be careful not to fall into House prejudices, Grace. I am sure there is a reason your body now bears images of all four symbols."
"Seriously, these people still have prejudices against one another because of what traits they value the most? Salazar and Godric didn't realize what they were starting, did they?"
Chuckling, Albus observed her as she finally dropped her hands to her lap. "Madame Pomfrey tells me that you had a mission that tore you away from her care so early in the morning," Albus mentioned, pressing her gently for information.
"Uhm." Grace blanched for a moment before her cheeks began to burn slightly. "Well, you see, I kind of lied a bit...." She paused, watching Albus raise his eyebrows, although remaining silent. "But it was important! I met- Well, I met my Servator."
Albus chuckled, "Mister Lupin is your Servator; that's interesting."
"Only one werewolf at Hogwarts? Disappointing."
"You've said previously that you didn't think that he would be your true love...?"
"He's not. In fact, I'm not entirely sure he likes me, or the situation."
Albus, with one of his hands to his lips in contemplation, nodded. "Grace, how much information did you divulge to him...?"
Clasping her hands in her lap, Grace looked down at them, playing with one of the long scars that ran up the side of her thumb. "A bit," she mumbled. "I may have become a bit excited- But he's my Servator! He can feel the link, I know he can, he's just...."
Sighing as Grace trailed off in thought, Albus stood from his desk. He rounded it with his hands clasped behind his back, stopping before her. His lilac-colored robes flourished a bit as he leaned upon his desk, stooping his normally tall figure to make himself slightly more level with the seated girl. Frowning as she brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them in a defeated hug, he gave her a most endearing look.
"Grace," he began, gently. "How much have you seen of Mister Lupin? How much do you know about him?"
With a brief moment of contemplation, Grace bit her lower lip. There were visions of a child, whom she now knew to be Remus, as he was attacked by a werewolf. There were visions of the same child enduring excruciatingly painful transformations. There were visions of Albus going to his household where Lyall and his wife Hope (of whom he had often spoke) attempted to deter him from meeting their son. There were visions of the boy, much closer to his current age, in a shack, again transforming with blood-curdling screams and whimpers that eventually turned into angry howls. There were visions of the werewolf running through the woods, playfully chasing his friends in their animangus forms. There were visions of a broken man, slightly older at James and his wife's funeral, crying and alone save Albus' comforting presence. There were visions of the man even older holding an eviction notice in his hands with frown etched into his features. There were visions of the man that had warped time even further kissing the woman that he would one day marry. There were visions of that man holding his newborn child. There was even the one vision of the man falling to the ground, his soul leaving his eyes at the edge of his demise.
Some of the gaps, Grace assumed, were periods of times that he would be with her, for she had yet to have a vision about somebody being directly affected by her or the reversal. She realized though that she really did not know that much about him, other than his condition. Albus may have been right about this one, she had only wished she had spoken to him before she rushed to her Servator's side.
"Listen to me, Grace." Albus asked of her.
She hazily came out of her thoughts and turned her attention to the aging wizard before her.
"You remember Lyall Lupin, correct? I don't think that I need to tell you that he is your Servator's father. Lyall was a man of prejudice concerning the werewolf community and did not have any hesitation to make his feelings regarding them well-known. This of course, was before Remus was born and when he was still a young child, before he had been bitten.
"One day, in 1964, a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback was brought into the Ministry of Magic for questioning in the aftermath of an attack of two muggle children that resulted in their death. The Ministry of course did not know what he was at the time because the Werewolf Registry was in a shocking state of disarray. Greyback, an extremely good actor as it turned out, swore he was a muggle. His skill at feigning the horror he felt upon hearing the deaths of the children and the way he was completely mesmerized by the revelation of a wizarding world left the officials at the Ministry convinced, ordering his release.
"That is, until Lyall Lupin, who had been brought into the questioning committee due to his skill and authority on Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions, spotted some of the tell-tale signs that he was a werewolf. He demanded that Greyback be held until the following full moon (a relatively reasonable request being that the full moon would be the very next day), just as a precaution.
"He was taunted, however, by the other officials, feeling that Lyall was overreacting due to his prejudice. I believe Lyall told me that one of the Ministry officials said to him, 'Lyall, you just stick to Welsh Boggarts, that's what you're good at.' The teasing had upset Lyall, he told me, and he had lost his temper. There, in that room, before Greyback and the officials, Lyall had accidentally condemned his son. He had stood his ground, sure in himself that Greyback might be a werewolf. Lyall had said that all werewolves were 'soulless, evil, deserving of nothing but death'.
"The council chose to let him go, believing that he was a muggle. Upon his departure a member had attempted to put a memory charm on the supposed muggle. Greyback had overpowered the man, fleeing the ministry. He wanted revenge on Lyall for his prejudice.
"Sometime later that year, Greyback had discovered the home of Lyall and Hope Lupin. You see, Greyback intentions are to turn children into werewolves, and raise them in some kind of werewolf community where they will learn to hate other people other than their own kind. Voldemort has been using him as a weapon to threaten families with their own children....
"One night, shortly before young mister Lupin turned five, Greyback had attacked the boy in his sleep. His intention was, of course, to take Remus with him, but Lyall had managed to get to the boy in time and had been able to ward off the werewolf. He wasn't in time to save his son from the cursed bite.
"Remus had been extremely sheltered by Lyall and Hope after that, fearful of what a prejudice community would do to the boy. They moved constantly with the boy, trying to avoid any suspicion. I cannot be sure that mister Lupin was able to make any friends at all until he came here. They even tried to stop me from taking the boy to Hogwarts, not knowing that my spies had already informed me of the boy's condition that Greyback had proudly divulged to them.
"Of course, I have made...accommodations for mister Lupin here. But the point is, Grace, that he is ashamed of his lycanthropy but has learned to live with it. I am unsure that he his ready to embrace it like you wish him to. Perhaps, if you would try to be his friend first, not pushing him too hard into this, he may eventually come around."
Grace frowned, emotion bubbling from the pit of her stomach. "Lyall?" she choked out. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Lyall said that? That all werewolves were soulless and deserved to die? Did he really believe that...?"
"Lyall was a man who believed in his prejudices with conviction. Whether or not he truly believed what he said that day, I am unsure of, but it did not matter what he really believed. The only thing that made a difference was the words that he had uttered."
Grace mused over the tragicomic-irony. Lyall had been prejudice against werewolves but his son became what he had hated, due to his words. Words were going to be Grace's downfall, according to Gretchen, and evidentially they had become Lyall's too. Her Servant would serve as yet another reminder of how a single utterance can destroy a person's life.
"You are probably right," Grace said finally allowing her legs to slide down the chair so that her feet would touch the ground once again.
"I am always right, dear," he chuckled with a twinkle in his eyes.
Grace laughed. "By the way, how is your war going anyway?" she asked as an afterthought.
While raising his eyebrows, Albus sighed, saying, "It would be going perhaps a bit better if you would agree to offer your assistance. Voldemort's Death Eater association continues to grow in fierce numbers. But as you have said, you are dealing with your own war. Which brings me to ask, and yours?"
Frowning, Grace shrugged. "You know, vampires, blood, decapitation and all that. Thank gods they can't portal jump, can you imagine them in this realm? I'd never get a moments peace. I haven't received any word on what our next step is though. For now it seems we are at a standstill. The vampires have retreated considerably but are holding against the Cruors with vigor. That war aside, I'm still unsure as to whether or not I'd be able to help anyway. Death wasn't very clear on his rule of not interfering."
Grace had woken from her brief period of sleep and decided that she needed to fix things with Remus. Albus was right, after all. She had discovered that they were not in their dorm, however. With the late August sun gracing the grounds and the weather clear and certainly enticing, Grace thought it best to continue her search outside.
The sun kissed Grace's face as she contentedly strolled across brilliantly green grass that bent easily beneath her feet. It seemed that many of the students had taken to the vast sanctuary that was the grounds of Hogwarts, basking in the delight of the day and their friends. Some of the faces she could remember vaguely from her visions but many were still strangers to her.
She spotted the four boys under a thick, shady tree. As she neared she was able to catch a bit of their relaxed conversation.
"...and my parents said that Molly Weasley had her baby less than a week ago. It's another boy," James was telling his friends.
"What's that now? Three boys? Poor Molly," Sirius added with a grin.
It did not take them long to notice her arrival. James greeted her, cheerfully, "Hey Grace!"
She greeted them all, taking a seat beneath the tree. She turned her attention to Remus, who looked at her with a bit of trepidation. "Look, Remus, I wanted to talk to you-"
"I thought that you were giving me time to think about...whatever this is exactly?" He was frowning at her with a serious look on his face.
"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I may have been a bit...hasty? I shouldn't have thrown this all on you, I mean,you don't even know who I am. So, I was wondering if there was a chance we could start over...be friends, maybe?" she asked, offering a smile.
He regarded her warily, glancing at James who shrugged in return. It was several long seconds before Remus looked back at her, saying with a bit of apprehension, "Alright, I think we can do that...."
"Terrific!" She beamed at him. She raised herself to her knees and leaned towards him, placing her hands at the sides of his head. "Now just hold still, the memory charm wont hurt at all-"
"Grace!" James exclaimed, pulling her swiftly away from the werewolf. "You can't erase Remus' memory!"
She blinked up at him and laughed. "Of course I can; it's easy! Watch-"
"He's not questioning your ability, Grace." Remus cut her off, looking offended. "You can't just going around erasing people's memories."
Sirius laughed at her. "I'm not one for abiding by the rules, either Grace, but some things just come down to morality."
Grace was confused. She didn't see any kind of morality issue erasing people's memories. After all, if they can't remember, there shouldn't be an issue. Sometimes it was better to forget.
In her silence, Remus sighed. "Look Grace, we can try to be friends but you have to promise me that you wont try to erase my memory...or anybody else's for that matter."
"If that's what you want," she conceded.
"Your sister's a bit of a looney, mate," Sirius said to James, causing Peter to laugh.
"Hey!" Grace interjected, indignantly, trying to conceal a smile as they continued to chuckle.
James' attention was lost somewhere in the distance suddenly and a smirk appeared across his features.
Grace glanced over her shoulder. The boy with the dark hair that she had seen in her visions with Lily was walking across the grounds by the lake alone. His head down was down, his lengthy black hair fell into his face and his shoulders were rounded forward slightly. He looked a bit disheveled.
Her heart beat accelerated, and her lungs refused to inhale. Grace furrowed her brows, frowning. The pull inside of her wasn't like the connection to a werewolf, it was strange. Her stomach heaved. She felt mesmerized for a moment, curiosity striking her.
"James," she barely heard Remus say, "don't you think it's a bit early in the year-"
He was interrupted and Grace felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look back up into her brother's eyes.
"Let me introduce you to my old friend, Snivellus," he said with a laugh.
"Snivellus?" Grace inquired. "That's an odd name."
She was ushered forward, trepidation gripping her as she reflected back to the vision of him being held in the air by James, but her curiosity willed her forward in uncertainty. Her eyes found the dark-haired boy again as they gained some ground on him.
She felt a strange pull and her eyes widened. An odd feeling bubbled in her stomach, making her a bit uncomfortable. She wondered why. Grace faltered in her stride. Her pull towards Remus had been so strong, but this was a bit off. She had to find out what this new occurance was.
And then, everything happened so fast.
Snivellus spun around, already armed with his wand in hand, as James called his name.
A spell was thrown at Sirius, who blocked it quickly.
James disarmed Snivellus and Sirius used the Aguamenti Charm, soaking him, muttering, "Bad Snivellus!"
Peter cheered them on.
Remus stood silently next to Grace.
With a swift flourish of his wand, James shouted, "Rictusempra!" As the spell hit Snivellus, he let out an odd, strangled sound. He moved his hands around his body uncomfortably, his breath heaving.
Grace blanched. "Stop," she whispered and felt Remus look down at her. "Stop!"
She found herself between the four boys and Snivellus, casting a shielding charm in front of the latter boy. She backed herself into the shield so that her back was flat against it.
"Awe, Grace, look what you did. He's getting away!" Sirius complained, lowering his wand.
James chuckled and said, "Don't worry about ol' Snivellus, Grace. He likes to play with us." He patted her on the shoulder despite her frown.
Sirius groaned. "Well, dinner's still a bit off. I guess we can go down to the kitchens and get some snacks."
"Yeah!" agreed Peter, enthusiastically.
The boys moved to leave, Grave frozen to the ground with her anger. She watched as Remus turned around to face her, he must have felt the emotion. He frowned, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Coming along, Grace?" he asked.
She shook her head. "No...I've got something to do. I'll see you all at dinner."
She was going to find Snivellus.
She spotted him walking by himself down a corridor. "Snivellus!" She called out to him, smiling. "Snivellus, wait!"
His body seemed to freeze as he heard her and as she nearly reached him he spun around his wand raised to her chest. "What do you want, Potter?" he spat, his voice laden with demand and urgency. He glanced around the room frantically as if expecting an ambush, but never really took his eyes off of her.
Grace frowned as she eyed his wand, despite the effect that their close proximity was having on her. She tilted her head back slightly to gaze into his dark eyes. His soul was truly beautiful, its light shone through her in a wave of warm energy. He had so much potential, and Grace wanted to allow him to savor every last bit of it. Sadness and distrust was clouding his eyes, however. Grace knew he must have faced some great difficulties already in his life at such a young age. There was even great regret, something that she didn't normally find in people until they were much older. His smell was intoxicating her. It was a musky, chemical smell with a hint of fresh grass and dusty books. She loved it. She leaned in slightly, inhaling and allowed her eyes to slowly fall closed.
"Potter, I don't have time for this," Snivellus spat, turning to leave.
It took Grace a second to regain her composure before chasing after him. "N-no wait!" She gripped his arm, feeling the electricity shooting through her body. He had turned towards her, his arm still in her hand, and thrust his wand under her chin. Grace, however, remained unfazed as she was stunned by the contact of his body. Her heart rate was accelerating so quickly that she thought it might stop of exhaustion and fall into her stomach where her organs must surely be doing gymnastics. Her entire body trembled as her hand remained on his arm, frozen.
She attempted to reason with her feelings, unsure of what exactly they meant. It had been so obvious with Remus. She wondered if this boy was the one she was supposed to fall in love with.
Grace smiled, still only hazily aware of wand jabbing her in the neck, she looked back into his eyes. "Well," she whispered. "Fuck me."
Snivellus' eyes widened, looking slightly scandalized. "Excuse me?"
"Oh!" Grace interjected. "No, its a saying," she explained quickly. "I didn't mean it that way. O-of course, I don't mean that that would be bad with you! I'm sure your a fine love maker and-"
Grace released Snivellus, her eyes wide. Clasping a hand over her mouth her fingers raking over the scar. "Oh! My gods!"
With a disgruntled look and reddened cheeks, Snivellus lowered his wand. "Are we quite done here?"
"No, oh balls! My mouth, it- I sometimes can't control it- Damn! I mean- Listen, Snivellus-"
"Stop...calling me that," he demanded, his voice raising slightly.
"But that's your name isn't it?"
"No, of course it's not, you stupid girl!"
Grace frowned thinking back to James and Sirius. Her mind raced, recalling the manner in which they said said his name and remembering Peter's guffaws at her inquiry involving the obscureness of his name. It it her, and she blanched. She really was a stupid girl, wasn't she? Her brother had been picking on him when he called him Snivellus; it was meant to be derogatory. She gasped, holding her hands out in surrender. "I am so, so sorry. I didn't realize...balls!"
"Charming," he muttered, glaring at her.
Grace swallowed. "So what is your name then?"
"None of your business!" he snapped. "Now if you don't tell me what the hell it is that you want-"
"Please just tell me your name, I need something to address you by," she pleaded.
He frowned, watching her carefully. "Severus," he finally offered, still seeming extremely unhappy about the conversation that he was having. "Severus Snape."
"Severus," she said, breathily. "Well, Severus, the reason I've stopped you is to apologize. I had no idea that-"
"-Stop." Severus cut her off. "I don't want to listen to your apologies."
"-I tried to stop them but-"
"-I don't want your help, Potter-"
"-I want to be your friend!" She nearly yelled, shocking herself.
Severus looked slight taken aback, and then looked her up and down. Caution befell his onyx eyes as his lip curled slightly. He leaned in towards her, causing the breath to hitch in Grace's throat. After several long, antagonizing moments, he finally asked, in a low, silky voice, "Why?"
"I-I like you," she managed, her face heating up.
"You don't even know me-"
"-I want to...."
He frowned at her, unmoving from his close proximity to her. "This is some kind of prank! I know it is, and I am not falling for it," he seethed, teeth clenched.
He moved to leave her there when Grace lashed out to grab his arm. Failing, as he evaded his aggressor. "Wait-" she started, her voice weak.
"Do not touch me!" he growled, recoiling further away from her.
"It's not a joke, would you just listen to me-"
"-I have been listening to you and all I hear is a stupid girl who has no idea what she is talking about!"
Grace face became crestfallen and she looked away from him, touching the scar across her lips.
"What happened to your face, Potter?" He sneered, beginning to walk away from her again.
Trying to catch her breath, to stop herself from crying, Grace let him leave this time. She took deep breaths, steeling herself. She wondered what made him so full of distrust. Fingering her scar she saddened, there was a reason that he rejected her, that he didn't feel the electricity. That beauty that lays in his soul, so full of light and potential, was the reason he didn't feel the same.
Grace was a killer. Although the lives she'd taken were those that possessed evil souls, or that were themselves evil, she was a killer. Her soul was heavy because of it. The scars on her body reflected those on her soul and she knew that her darkness would only shroud his light. Her heart broke upon her realization.
She was a beast.
She did not deserve him.
AN: Well, that was fun! Let me know what you think!
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