Chapter 11 : Broken
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I'd barely gotten any sleep. Despite me blaming it on the match when Aidan asked the next morning, that wasn't true. I could barely look him in the eye. He knew how much I loved her, and then he...no. I wouldn't think about it.
But I did. For the whole of the morning, and for the whole of the match. I was surprised I even caught the snitch in the end.
"ALBUS POTTER HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! AFTER NEARLY FIVE HOURS OF PLAY, GRYFFINDOR WINS 260-70!"
I grinned as the crowd converged on to the field, Lily jumping on me as soon as I landed.
"Well done bro. Took you long enough."
From the glint in her eye, I knew that she knew exactly why I had taken so long. Shaking my head slightly, I turned around, searching the crowd for Kasy and the others. I spotted Rose's red hair against Scorpius' blonde. Remembering the scene from yesterday, I smiled, turning to try and see Kasy.
She was there. In his arms. Just standing.
I disappeared into the crowd, walking up to the party.
I could really do with some alcohol.
"Hi. Do I know you?" A clearly drunk seventh year girl asked me, poking me in the chest. I smiled at her.
"Not yet you don't."
She grinned back, but turned away when her friend called out something like 'cradle snatcher'. I didn't mind. My mind was swimming, and everywhere seemed so alive, and yet so dull. I tried to find Kasy, only to see her walking up the stairs on someone's arm.
I looked around again. Aidan was gone.
Anger flooding through my veins, I turned around, pushing through the crowd to try and find the bar. A hand stopped me.
"Albus." She purred. I turned, watching her auburn hair flutter weightlessly.
"Hey." I murmured, dropping my drink as I pulled her forward by the waist, letting our lips collide.
It was like fire. Pure, poisonous fire. It was burning me, hurting me. But I carried on, hearing her moan against me, walking her up to my dorm without breaking it.
She might not be Kasy, but she was the next best thing.
No. Oh Merlin, no. Pleasepleaseplease nonononono...
I opened my eyes one at a time. Rebecca was curled against me, fast asleep. And completely naked.
"Rebecca? Rebecca, wake up!" The sun was just starting to filter through the window, making it just before 8.
"Mmm. Hey Ally." She purred again, stroking my chest with one fingernail. I pushed her off quickly.
"Nope. Sorry. Time to leave."
"What?" She snapped. All purring had vanished.
"Er...this," I gestured between the two of us, "This was a mistake Rebecca. A large, drunken mistake. And you have to go before it becomes a known, large and drunken mistake."
She clenched her jaw, pushing a strand of wavy auburn hair out of her face.
"Fine then. So I guess, this," She gestured just how I had done, "Meant nothing?"
"I was upset, and...I wasn't..."
"You weren't thinking of me. It was Kasy. It'll always be Kasy." She nodded, rolling over and picking her top up from the floor.
"I'm sorry Rebecca."
"Just make her happy Albus. Okay?" She gathered the rest of her clothes in her arms, pulling her skirt down so it covered a little more skin, and left. I sighed, rolling on to my back. What was wrong with me? Why would I do that? That was Rebecca...that was Kasy's worst enemy. What had possessed me?
As I rolled over again, trying to see what the time was, something wrapped itself around my ankle. Her bra. Obviously. Luck really wasn't going my way today. Sighing, I pulled on some underwear and trousers, and jogged downstairs to catch up with her.
"Rebecca. You forgot..." My voice choked. Rebecca turned, shock outlining her features, and in front of her...Kasy. Her gaze shot from me, to the bra in my hand, to her sister's face.
"No. No, no, no, no." She whispered, backing away from us. There was so much hurt in her voice that I couldn't bare it. Behind me I felt a crowd growing, but I didn't care.
"Kasy. Kasy, listen to me-" I said, taking a step towards her, and dropping the offending item while I was at it.
"No. Oh my God, no!" She shook her head, looking from me to Rebecca, begging for one of us to tell her that she was wrong after all. But we didn't. Rebecca shut her eyes tight, and nodded so gently it was barely noticeable. But Kasy saw it.
"Sorry." She whispered, not even looking at her.
"Kasy, stop!" I cried out, trying to grab her arm, but she had already disappeared into the girl's dorms, tears running down her face.
"I'm going to..." Rebecca said quietly, picking up her bra and walking out of the common room. Sal bumped into her as she hurtled from the couch, taking a few seconds to look at me.
"Go." I tried to talk, but she carried on. "Just go Al. I think you've done enough for now." With that she disappeared into the girl's dorm, leaving me standing there. The crowd began chatting, giving me disgusted or curious looks as they walked away.
"Al, what's wrong? What happened?"
"I...I slept with her."
"What? Al, look at me."
He grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "Who did you sleep with?"
I didn't answer him. Instead I looked at him coldly, trying to figure out who he really was now. "Why Kasy? Why did you go after Kasy? You know, you KNOW!" I cried out, backing away from him.
"Albus...?" His confused expression changed in an instant, but not to one of knowing or shock or guilt. To one of pity. "Albus mate, there's nothing going on between me and Kasy."
"And why should I believe you?" I shouted, fury reddening my sight.
"Because I'm gay!" He shouted back. I stopped, just as the few other people in the room did. A smile spread across his face. "I'm gay Al. So I think Kasy is still very single."
"Albus?" He rushed forward, grabbing me just as I began to fall. "Al, what's wrong?"
"Don't you know Aidan?" A snotty seventh year girl shouted. Aidan looked over at her. "He slept with Rebecca Wood, that's what."
His grip on me disappeared, as if I'd burnt him. I just stumbled down, hitting the floor on my knees with a thump.
"Al...you didn't...oh God, Al."
"I thought...I don't know what I thought...I was drunk, and she wasn't there, but she was, and she was the closest thing...I just...I gave up."
Aidan sat down next to me, throwing his arm over my shoulder.
"You shouldn't have."
"What other option is there? She...she doesn't like me that way. James was right. It's useless. I'm a fool."
Aidan sighed. "Yes, yes you are. But not for loving her. For giving up on her. She loves you too Al. And we need to clear this up about Becky before she finds out."
An odd noise emerged from my throat, like a wounded animal. Aidan took a deep breath, and shoved his head into his hands.
"She found out, didn't she?" It was more of a statement than a question.
We sat there in silence, letting the world move on around us. None of the girls came from their dorm.
"You screwed up." Aidan concluded.
"Yes, I really did, didn't I?"
We waited another few minutes.
"Did she really like me that way?"
"Yes. Do you feel guilty for shagging her evil, and uglier, twin sister?"
"Yes. Very much so. Are you really gay?"
Aidan burst out laughing. I smiled despite myself.
"Yes Al, I really am."
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I...I was worried. About how you'd react. Me and Scorpius aren't very close and Rose has been busy with him anyway, so my only other option was Kasy. And she understood. We mostly talked about the hottest guys in the year, shit like that. It was different. I was going to come out today." He sighed.
"Well, since you shouted it while quite a few people were in the common room, I think you can check that off of your to-do list."
"You know that this...issue, with Kasy...it's going to be a matter of sides."
I nodded. "And you'll be taking hers."
There was a pause. "I'm sorry mate."
"It's okay. Tell her I'm sorry, and...tell her what I told you. About it being a very drunken mistake. Just tell her that I'll be waiting, no matter how long it takes, for her to talk to me again."
Aidan nodded. "You should probably go and get a shirt or something. After my announcement people might get the wrong idea."
I smiled, pulling myself up and jogging to the boys' dorm. Aidan turned to the girls, calling up the stairs for Rose. She appeared just as I disappeared from sight, though I stayed to hear her.
"Hey. Can I-?"
"Yeah. She's a complete mess. Where's Albus? With Rebecca, I take it?" She spat the name out with venom.
"No. I was just talking to him. He understands."
"Oh. Okay. Come on."
Their voices disappeared as Rose led him up to the girl's dorm. I walked into my own dorm, staring at the bed which still lay in an utter mess. My clothes had been shoved underneath it.
"Hey Al. What's up?" Andy asked, coming out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. I looked up at him, still trying to comprehend what I'd done and what I was meant to do.
"I screwed up." I concluded usefully.
"And I...I'm so...how could...uarghharr!"
No. That is not the noise of a dying animal, or someone being stabbed in the stomach for their incoherent babbling. That's me. Crying. Something I pride myself in not doing very often.
"Kasy? Oh sweetie!"
I felt Aidan bundle me up against him, his musty smell warming me up inside. It was like Christmas and summer all rolled into one.
"What...what...wh-" I gave in to another rib cracking sob, my head pounding at the sadness of it all. My nose was streaming, my skin felt dry and my throat raw. All for ten minutes of crying.
"Where the heck is that chocolate?!"
If this was normal circumstances, as in, if I hadn't been the one crying, I would have laughed at Rose's commanding voice. But right now, all I wanted to do was join in and say 'Yeah. Where the heck is my chocolate?'
As it was, I couldn't. As I was still crying.
Why am I crying, you ask? I am crying because the boy who I am completely and utterly in love with decided to rip my heart out and repeatedly stamp on it by falling into my evil sister's trap and fucking her instead of me. And to make it even better, I'm fairly sure that he didn't just break my heart, but Rebecca's too, meaning he broke two Kasy's hearts! (because we're twins, and twins have connections like that. Even when they hate each other)
"Here. Shove this down her gob."
My crying stuttered as Aidan nudged the edge of some chocolate into my wailing mouth. I bet I look real attractive right now. I'm lucky he's gay, or he'd totally be jumping all over me by now.
"Oh, Ai-Ai-Aidan!" I stammered, sniffing back a large clump of snot and tears.
"Yeah, Kas?" He replied, trying not to sound too disgusted.
"I ruined...I ruined your...coming out...thingy!"
"WHAT?" Rose and Sal cried in unison, both of them with a mouthful of chocolate. Aidan blushed.
"Thanks for that Kas. Yeah, I'm gay. Get over it."
"I've always wanted a gay best friend." Rose grinned. Aidan through a pillow at her, hitting her in the stomach. Instantly her smile turned to a green grimace.
"Fuck." Was all she said before she'd leaped into the bathroom, the sound of vomit hitting the toilet audible even through my sobs. Aidan and Sal sat shell-shocked.
"I'll go." I sniffed, rolling off of the bed and army crawling through to the bathroom. Rose was still retching, her fingers turning white where they clenched the edge of the seat.
"Shhh." I whispered, trying to stop my voice from shaking as I held her hair back, stroking her head comfortably.
"I'm sorry. You need...lots of hugs...and chocolate. Not a pregnant best friend...and...well, this basically." Rose said in between deep breaths.
"I'll be fine. I prefer being the fixer anyway. Being the fixed is too...reliant for me."
Rose smiled, turning around to give me a hug. Even though she smelled slightly of puke, and my knees were killing me from kneeling on the bathroom tiles, I squeezed her back, not wanting to go.
"Do you think we'll ever be able to go back to just us? Once all this is over, and the fires have stopped burning, do you think there's a chance?"
Rose paused for a few seconds before answering.
"I don't know Kas. I genuinely don't know. How are...how are you and Al going to make it? You're like soul mates. Where there's you, there's him. I just..."
"I don't know Rose. I guess we'll just have to cope. Move on, live and let live, all that shiz. I still have you and Aidan, and I can probably try making new friends. Someone else out there has got to like me."
"I'll always be here for you Kas. Don't you ever forget that."
"And vice versa."
So together we knelt there, holding on for dear life while everything I'd believed to be solid ground shifted and crumbled beneath us.
"Is Aidan really gay?"
"Yes Rose. Really."
"Fuck. Never saw that one coming."
"Me neither, Rosie. Me neither.
A little bit of sunshine at the end for you. Apologies for the wait- school and stuff. It's been brain overload. But please review, guys! :)
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