Chapter 10 : How To Feel Ridiculous In One Easy Step
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Perhaps informing my parents that I was carrying the grandchild of a person that they absolutely abhorred in school- or, rather, that my father abhorred- wasn't exactly what one might call a good idea. After all, I had merely wanted to inform them of the situation before the school did. And my father had almost choked on his dinner upon hearing the mood. It was as big of an indicator that I had picked the wrong time that I could have possibly gotten.
My mother reached over and thumped him on the back to try to dislodge whatever what had been stuck in his throat to make him nearly choke to death and Lily was looking at me with eyes so wide you would think they were about to pop out of her skull. Perhaps she hadn't been expecting my father to nearly die at the table after hearing the news either but, really, who were we kidding? My father reacting well was never in the realm of possibility.
While my mother was focusing as closely she possibly could to my mother choking the way that he was so that she could be sure he was alright, James glanced over at me and motioned with his head towards the stairs, his silent way of telling me to check out of the room until things calmed down a little bit. It was one of those moments that reminded me of why I loved James as much as I did. He was always trying to find a way to get me out of trouble if he could do it without being obvious- and, of course, without getting in trouble himself.
He didn't have to tell me twice to get out of there for a little bit, or at least until my father calmed down enough to breathe properly. So, I ducked out of the room and up the stairs so I could hide in my room until my parents were calm enough to come and talk to me. But it didn't surprise me one iota to see Hugo looking at me like he was waiting for me to start laughing and tell them all that I was just kidding. Who could blame him though. His big sister had just dropped one of the biggest bombshells she possibly could onto the family.
It took maybe twenty minutes before there was a knock at my door, probably how long it took for my mother to calm down my father enough to make sure that when he got there to talk to me he wouldn't start off by yelling at me right away. The yelling was most likely going to come but if he didn't start off screaming his head off at me? Then perhaps things would work out decently enough. Or, at the very least, we would all leave the room still in tact.
Mum only waited a handful of seconds before she opened the door slightly to pop her head into the room and look at me. She cocked her head very slightly to the side while she looked at me, a sort of worried expression spread across her face. "Dad and I want to talk to you. We're coming in."
She didn't wait for a response before coming into the room. Perhaps she saw no reason to. It was her house, after all. And that meant she could come into whichever room she wanted to. But the plus side was she didn't look angry with me. Concerned, yes. Concerned and most definitely shocked but not angry. Thank Merlin for small miracles such as that.
My father was a different story entirely. As he entered the room behind my mother the look on his face was distinctly sour, his mouth set in a grim line, his arms folded across his chest. His entire body was rigid and unlike my mother there wasn't any concern in his eyes. Just a look that said very distinctly that he was none too happy about the whole thing. It was all the proof I needed to let me know that my mother had been spending that time downstairs, once he could breathe again, trying to make sure he was as calm as he could be when he came to speak to me.
My mother made her way over to my bed and took a seat on the corner of it, folded her hands in her lap. She looked so prim and proper that it was almost impossible to imagine we were about to have such a serious conversation. If I wasn't a part of the situation I never would have believed it myself. "Did you mean what you said down there?" she asked in the most calm, rational voice she had ever used. "That you're pregnant?"
"I wouldn't make a joke like that," I assured her even though I was sure by then that she knew that. It was just a good time to remind her of that fact.
"I know," she assured me with a slight nod of her head even though she seemed like she wished I had told her that I was being sarcastic, that I had been making a big joke just to see what they would say if they heard I was pregnant with a Malfoy baby. If only I could tell them I was kidding then everything would be alright.
Dad opened his mouth to say something but closed it up once again. Maybe he wasn't sure what he wanted to say to me. Maybe he wasn't sure if whatever he said would come out the way he wanted it to. Or maybe he was just afraid he would say something that upset me so much it would cause a problem between him and Mum. She had told him several times that he had to think sometimes before he spoke, after all. His anger could get the better of him at times. And his dislike for the Malfoy family didn't help matters any, at least not in this situation.
"I know what you're thinking, but it really isn't what you're thinking. I know saying that makes me seem mental. But things are quite a bit more complicated than they seem." Even saying that the way I did made me sound mental. It made me feel mental. The whole situation was bloody messy and annoying and so very stupid. If I hadn't made such a stupid mistake then my school year would be just like any other year at Hogwarts. I wouldn't be dealing with an unexpected pregnancy nor would I have to worry about how much my parents hated the father and how unhelpful he seemed to enjoy being. It was amazing how one little sentence being misread could change your entire life.
"Rose, don't be ridiculous," Mum chided, clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth like it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. Of course it seemed that way to her. After all, normally people only ended up pregnant one way and it certainly wasn't the way I had ended up in the situation I was in.
"Mom, I'm being serious." Of course, it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't believe me about that. Why would she? If I were her I would think I was either lying or making excuses. Nothing was simple in that moment. Nothing would ever be simple again for me, of that I was absolutely certain. After all, having a baby changed everything in your life.
"It was a spell. A spell I read wrong." Standing up from the bed I made my way over to the pile of parchments on my desk and started digging through them until I found where I had written down the name of the book the spell had come from. When I had realized my mistake in reading it I had gone back to see if there was any reversal spell that I could use. Apparently though a spell could make you pregnant but not undo it once its been done. Sometimes the rules were more frustrating than anything.
"A spell." Dad scoffed, rolled his eyes a little bit like he wouldn't be able to believe a single word I had just said even if he was given years to do so. "A spell that causes pregnancy? I've never heard of a spell like that." He turned his attention to my mother, unfolded his arms so he could gesture towards her with one hand. "Have you ever heard of a bloody spell like that?"
Mum sighed a little in a way I knew all too well. It was to tell my father to calm down, to try to keep a cool head instead of getting worked up. But even I would get worked up if I were in his position, having my teenage daughter tell me that she ended up pregnant because of a spell. And not just that she became pregnant through a spell but that she was going to have the grandchild of someone I hated. I would be as upset as he seemed to be in that moment. Perhaps more so.
"The spell wasn't supposed to end with me getting pregnant," I assured him even though it definitely sounded pathetic to my own ears. A lot of things having to do with that conversation were making me feel pathetic. And stupid. But maybe I was stupid for getting into the amount of trouble I had gotten into because I couldn't read a spell correctly. So much for being intelligent.
Dad opened his mouth to say something sarcastic no doubt but one look from my mother effectively silenced anything rude he could say in that moment. She held her gaze on his for a few moments as if daring him to turn around and say something before she looked back over at me. She seemed to be as confused by the whole thing as everyone else who knew was but she also seemed to be willing to listen which was a small blessing, I supposed. Not that there were many blessings coming my way lately.
"The spell wasn't supposed to actually do anything." Even as I said it I knew it was a stupid way to put things. If a spell wasn't supposed to even do anything then there would have been no point in writing it down to begin with. Only it had seemed so ridiculous when I read it wrong there was no way I could have actually believed that it would work. It would have been rather crazy to assume a spell like that would actually work, wouldn't it? But insanity seemed to be truth as of late.
"I mean, I didn't think it would do anything," I clarified, shook my head just a little bit to emphasize the point. "I had read it wrong. It was so ridiculous, the way I read it, that I couldn't imagine it actually doing anything. It sounds silly, I know, but it's true."
"What was ridiculous about it?" Patience my mother had with us but she also liked to know what the point was when it came to things that were obviously important to discuss.
"Scorpius can be such a prat." It seemed like the best way to start to try to explain things to them because, at the very least, given their connection to Scorpius' father in school they might at least agree with that, feel like it was the absolute truth. Draco Malfoy's blood did, after all, course through Scorpius' veins. "And I read the spell wrong. I wanted to do it to get rid of some of my frustration out. So, I found the spell and I did it and it went a completely different way than I thought it would."
"Rose, sweetheart," Mum soothed as she reached out, put her hand on mine to try to get my attention, to make sure I actually looked at her and paid attention to what she was saying. "You aren't telling me why the spell was ridiculous. Nor what you thought it would do."
"But, it wasn't supposed to work. I thought it wasn't going to work at all. I didn't want it to work. I just felt so frustrated-"
"Rose, just let us know what you thought the spell was going to do, sweetheart."
Saying it out loud to my parents was the last thing I wanted to do. It made me feel ridiculous to even contemplate telling them what it was that had happened, what I had thought the spell had said because, well, even if I didn't think it would work the idea of doing the spell felt stupid in retrospect. "I thought the spell said that it would make him pregnant. And I thought, because it was so funny, so ridiculous, it wouldn't do anything. It would just make me feel better."
Mum opened her mouth and then closed it back up almost immediately, her mouth twisting up slightly in deep thought. It seemed like she couldn't stop herself because a small laugh slipped past her lips. It was the kind of laugh that you let out when you get told something that seems so silly and so ridiculous that no matter how serious the person who told you that information seemed? You can't help but find it silly.
"Oh, dear." Mum lifted up one hand and ran it over her mouth like she could stop herself from laughing again. For a few seconds the tips of her fingers lingered on her chin as she tried to compose herself. Maybe it wasn't really as amusing to her as it seemed but surprising enough that she couldn't help but laugh. "So," she continued after a bit. "You did the spell and in the end it resulted in you being pregnant. With Scorpius Malfoy's child."
"Well, that's just bloody brilliant, isn't it?" I wasn't sure if my father was actually angry with me though he didn't seem angry with me, just at the situation. And at the fact that Scorpius was the father of my child, of course. To be honest I wasn't exactly thrilled he was the one my child was getting half of its DNA from either. Not that I had any choice in the matter anymore. There was no spell to change the father of your unborn child. At least not as far as I knew. And considering Malfoy had already been informed of the situation? Well, it was a little late to look for one now.
"I'm sorry." What more could I really say to my father in that moment? I couldn't take back what I had done; I couldn't change what was going on. All I could do was to make sure he knew I was sorry and that I hadn't meant for any of that to happen. Oh, I definitely hadn't wanted that to happen. I just wanted to relieve a little frustration and everything had been turned upside-down because of it.
"Does Scorpius know yet?" Of course my mother would ask that. She was always so very logical.
"Yes. I told him as soon as I realized what had happened."
In that moment I didn't have an answer so I wasn't sure what to tell her. And the last thing that I wanted to do was to let my father know that Scorpius was acting as though that information was no more important to him than knowing what he had as an assignment for a class. He already didn't like the fact that Malfoy was the one who was the father of my child. If he knew he was taking it that lightly then he would just become even more angry about the whole situation than he already was. There were certain things that he just didn't need to know. It was something I had learned over the years. And while I didn't exactly enjoy keeping things from my father I also knew that it was better not to make him more angry by giving him that kind of information.
"I assume he's going to tell his family at some point even though I don't know when." It was as close to telling them the whole truth as I could get without actually telling them a lie. Saying that Scorpius was happy would have been a gigantic lie. Telling them that he was being supportive would have been almost as big of a lie as that one. But leaving out bits of information didn't feel like a lie at all even though I doubted that they would agree on that point if they knew I was keeping things from them.
"Well," Mum started. "This isn't exactly an ideal situation-"
"That's an understatement."
"But your father and I will discuss things and try to figure out a plan that will make the best of things," Mum continued as though my father hadn't cut her off the way that he had. "If you don't want to return to school because of this I would completely understand-"
"No." I cut her off as quickly as I could so that she knew how serious I was about that. No, I didn't want to miss school. I wanted to go back there because I didn't want things to get even harder for me. And the best thing for me would be to finish school even if being in class was going to become difficult as time went on and I went further along in my pregnancy. No, I most definitely had to go back there. Even if it was difficult I needed to go back.
"I want to go back, Mum," I clarified. "If I don't finish going through my schooling then things are going to be extremely difficult for me. And I know being in school will be difficult, too. But the best thing for my future would be to finish my school." Maybe it was a simplistic way to think about the whole situation but it was the only way I could think about it. Too much was already going to change, too much was going to have to give and I wouldn't let my education be one of them.
She studied me for a few seconds before she nodded her head just a little bit to let me know that she understood where I was coming from, that she wasn't going to argue with me about it. For that, at the very least, I was thankful. It was one less thing for me to have to worry about in the upcoming months.
"Alright," she agreed, still nodding her head a little bit. "Then you can finish going to school. But your father and I will discuss things with each other to try to figure out exactly what to do about things. And we'll let you know as soon as we come up with something. But you need to stay in contact while you're at school, do you understand?"
All I could do was nod. Keeping in touch with her didn't seem like too big of a request given the situation nor could I say it was even remotely unreasonable. And the less time I spent bickering over details or trying to say I didn't want to do things her way the better things would be between us.
Mum watched me for a handful of moments before nodding once more and standing up from the edge of the bed and moving over so he was next to my father. "We're going to go talk. You rest. And I'll write to you as soon as there's anything for you to know."
All I could really do was nod my head slightly at her to let her know I understood what she was saying. For a moment she just looked at my father like she was silently trying to tell him that he had to leave with her, that he couldn't just sit there with her like that because it might end in a fight.
My mother gave me a smile as she turned to look at me again and then, as though it just occurred to her to do so, she moved over and kissed the top of my head like she had done so many times when I was a little girl. She ran her hand over my hair and then made her way out of the room, glancing at my father once again to let him know she expect him to follow.
Dad turned around to leave the room but he had said so little- and still looked so angry- that if I let him leave like that then I wasn't sure how things would work out between the two of us. He might stay angry with me for an extremely long time because of it.
"I really am sorry, Dad," I called out to him. It wouldn't help, of that I was sure, but it was better than letting him leave without actually saying something to him.
Dad paused in his tracks with his back still facing me. His back seemed rigid, tense like he wasn't sure what to do or to say. And for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds there was nothing. No sound, no movement. It was like time had frozen for a little while. And then, all at once, he turned to face me again, his expression softening a bit from the way it had looked before then. "I know." But he didn't really seem to know that. But he knew. She was sure of it. "And I love you, Rosie."
"I love you too, Daddy."
A ghost of a smile spread across her face as soon as the words left my mouth before he nodded slightly, silently accepted that fact and then he turned and left my room, closing the door behind him with an audible clicking sound.
Even though I wasn't entirely sure why? I wanted to cry in that moment.
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