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Engaged?! by randomwriter
Chapter 1 : Engaged?!
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 12

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Okay, so this is a little ridiculous and whimsical. It's supposed to be :)
It was written for a challenge, which gave us a set of crazy prompts. To the Gryffies, please note that I haven't pre-fixed all my prompts with 'And then'. I hope that's okay!

Disclaimer- If you recognize it, note that it isn't mine.

Edit (May/15): This was one of my first stories. I know that my writing style has changed since. This will soon undergo edits because I believe I can do much better. I would prefer it if you chose to read one of my newer, more recent stories. But if you want to go ahead and take a chance at this one, remember you have been warned :p 



The Gryffindor Common Room was especially crowded, as it always was after Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup every year. They were all going back home for Easter the next morning and since the last match of the season had just concluded, everybody wanted to just loosen up and party. A giant banner with a picture of a lion hung from the ceiling of the common room, and every time someone walked past the it, the lion gave out a fearful roar. The first and second years were so frightened by the roaring lion that they had scampered into the corners of the common room, far from where all the main action was happening. Albus Potter had a bevy of girls around him and he was doing shots of Firewhiskey. The girls around him cheered and clapped, as he drunkenly accepted a kiss from Jessica Rowbottom. He was a Slytherin, but who could resist a good Gryffindor party, really?

On the other end of the Common Room, Gryffindor team Captain and Seventh Year Rose Weasley held the cup high over her head and gave a dazzling smile as everyone around her began to chant a personalized rendition of 'Weasley is Our King'.

She never lets the Quaffle in
Through the giant ring
She never lets the rivals win

Fred Weasley poured Firewhiskey into the Quidditch Cup, and Rose began chugging it at an alarmingly fast pace. In fact, she was too drunk to notice Viola Zabini's wand pointing right at her face. Suddenly, time seemed to stop as several people caught sight of Viola's drawn wand. Most of them were inebriated to the point where they could do nothing but stare at the pandemonium that was yet to ensue.  It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Viola raised her wand and shrieked, 'Incendio,' before Rose had even noticed her. Of course, Viola had three drinks in her, and she was never too good at wand-work anyway. She missed Rose's robes, but her spell hit the armchair that Rose was poised on. And then the Gryffindor common room armchair set fire. It was burnt to dust within seconds and a confused looking Rose Weasley fell flat on the floor, dropping the cup. The Firewhiskey splashed all over her and she reeked of alcohol, which for some reason prompted Rose to believe that Firewhiskey shots for all Gryffindors was a great idea.

'Essept you,' she screamed, trying to point at Viola. 'Whatdyu do that forr?' She asked, taking three drunken steps towards the Slytherin girl she hated so much. 'Iss it because Scorpius wantss me and not you?' With that, she jabbed Viola's chest with her index finger, hard. She was really drunk.

Viola stumbled back a little. She believed that she was too sophisticated to drink so much. She tried to think up an insult along those lines, but her ability to shoot back was affected by her lack of brain cells.

There was a jet of blue and the lion leapt out of the banner and began running across the room. An alarmed looking Fred was controlling it using his wand while screaming, 'I meant to make it snow. I swear. I only meant to make it snow,' in a panicked voice.

The lion smashed into the food table and began licking the food that it had spilled all over. Quite a few scared people ran back to their own houses in all the confusion, including Viola Zabini.

 All of a sudden, Scorpius Malfoy, Rose's boyfriend declared that the giant squid was actually Hagrid in disguise. It never occurred to the drunk student population of Hogwarts that the chances of this being correct were less than one percent, at best, but Rory Finniggan spoke up, 'We must go to Hagrid and ask him immediately. Malfoy has made an interesting observation.' They all raised their glasses and toasted to 'Hargrid's-squidishiousness' and drowned their thoughts in alcohol, forgetting about their plan to go down to Hagrid's cabin, till Albus reminded them. He decided that he would go alone by broom. 'Accio broom,' he screamed and at least twenty different brooms came soaring towards him before he realized that he had forgotten to specifically summon his own broom. He was about to summon his own broom, but before he could do so a deafening crash echoed through the common room.

Without warning, the window had unexpectedly smashed, and sent glass flying everywhere, as the ghost of Colin Creevey flew into the room on a broom. 'What do you think you're doing summoning all our brooms?' He floated in front of Albus, looking at him accusingly.

Colin Creevey's bother, Dennis Creevey had a son named Colin, who was a second year. Upon seeing the ghost of his dead uncle, Colin screeched like a ten year old girl and fainted flat on the floor.

Before anybody could react to what had just happened, the portrait hole swung open to reveal a very put-off Minerva McGonagall. 'A group of students were caught just outside the Gryffindor tower by Mr. Filch. He claims that they were quite drunk,' she spat out the last word with disgust. 'As you all know alcohol is prohibited on campus.' With that, she waved her wand and all the liquor vanished from the room, and probably went straight to Slughorn's cabin.

'OUT!' McGonagall screamed. 'I have to make sure that this room is free of all illicit substances.'

The entire mass of people shuffled out of the common room immediately, and the portrait hole slammed shut behind them.

After a few minutes, McGonagall emerged from the hole and declared that they may all go it.

'I expect you all to go to bed. It's already past one. And you all have a train to catch in the morning. And prefects, please note that I expect to see you all at eight in my office. No excuses.' With that, she left them, still looking absolutely enraged.

Rose tried to enter the common room first, but as soon as she uttered the password, The Fat Lady stated that the password had been changed and the only ones who knew it were the prefects. When everybody turned expectantly towards the prefects, they realized that they had hurled and fallen asleep and that they were too drunk to wake up.

And so, all the Gryffindors were locked out of the Gryffindor tower.


Dear Rose

We won't be able to come and pick you up from King's Cross tomorrow as we will be involved in making some arrangements. You will be quite happy once you find out about this, we promise. Harry will pick you and Hugo up and drop you at our place. We have some exciting news for you.



'Mum? Dad?' Rose called as soon as Harry had dropped them home. Ever since Rose had read that letter from her mum, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what it may be. She loved surprises! And hence, she couldn't contain her excitement enough to remember to knock on the door before entering her parents' room.

She barged into the room, throwing the door open only to be met with the weirdest sight she'd ever seen. Inside the room was her mother, looking up at a woman with pale skin and dark hair that was turning a shade of orange-ish red near the ends. The woman was holding a phial that looked like it contained Polyjuice Potion and she was about to drink from it. As soon as she saw Rose, she dropped the phial of Polyjuice Potion and declared that she would never masquerade as Rowena again, in what sounded like her dad's voice. Only it sounded very embarrassed.

'Dad?' Asked Rose disbelievingly.  

Rowena Ravenclaw, or rather Ron Weasley, pointed at his wife and said, 'She made me do it. She claims that it intellectually stimulates her.' He formed air quotes around the words 'intellectually stimulates'.

Rose let the door close with a dazed look and tried to scurry away from the room as fast as possible, but Hermione practically burst out of the room to catch up with her daughter. As Rose made it down the stairs, Hermione followed, screaming, 'Don't you want to know what the big surprise is?' Rose whipped around. Her mother's face was still a faint shade of pink because of the Rowena Ravenclaw incident.


'Sit down,' Hermione asked and Rose placed herself on a couch.

Ron had also rushed down and both of them sat on a sofa opposite Rose.

'This is about life after seventh year,' Ron said slowly, as if he was testing the waters.

'I've already decided that I want to be a Healer, Dad.' She told him.

'No...' Hermione said in a soft and gentle voice. 'It's about another thing... You see...'

'What do you think of Rory Finnigan?' asked Ron, rather suspiciously.

'Rory Finnigan? He's nice, I suppose.'

'Good looking?'



'Sort of...but wh-'

'Funny?' Ron cut her off.

'Yeah, I guess, but why do-'

'Then this should be no problem.' Ron declared like he'd just settled something in his mind.

'You see,' Hermione started, looking apprehensive. 'When you were two days old, we were about to leave the hospital, but when I was making the final arrangements, somebody had kidnapped you. We panicked. We had no idea how it had all happened. Then we got communication from their side. They demanded a ransom from us if we were to have you back. However, it never came to that because Rory's dad, Seamus found you and brought you back. Right then, your dad pledged that he would marry you off to Rory as a symbol of gratitude.'

She stared at them in disbelief for ten whole seconds, having gone from freaked out by her parents' behaviour to as calm-as-budha and now back to freaked out. Then she exploded.


With that, she stormed into her room, still muttering under her breath and magically locked the door.



Dear Scorpius

I have some bizarre news. It turns out that I was kidnapped as a baby, and I had no idea about this, but that story is for another day. Right now, I'm facing a rather serious issue. It turns out that my parents have arranged for me to be engaged to Rory Finnigan. I don't know what to do, but I have a strong feeling that packing my bags and moving out should probably give them a good indication of how independent I am and how I am more than capable of making my own decisions However, I don't think it's the right way to handle this. I could use your help, love.

Forever yours



Scorpius Malfoy sat at his desk, going through the pile of letters that lay in front of him. The window ahead was open, giving him complete view of the clear sky. He spotted a tiny speck of brown flying towards the house. It grew bigger and bigger as it came closer to the house. When it was close enough, Scorpius recognized it to be Athena, Rose's owl. He eagerly stood up and disentangled the letter from its leg. He had been looking forward to figuring out the big surprise that Rose had gone on and on about in the train. He fed it an owl treat and quickly scanned through the letter. His eyes widened with shock and surprise as he read it. He suddenly felt the unfairness of it all.

He grabbed his coat and quickly scribbled down a note saying that he'd be out for dinner, Then he grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and stood in front of the fireplace in his room.

Just then, Lexy, his house elf, appreared in his room.

'Mistress would like to know when Master Scorpius will be coming down to eat. Mistress is making fried chicken as Mistress is aware that Master Scorpius loves fried chicken.'

Scorpius screamed, 'I have no time for fried chicken!'' as his  facial expressions contorted into exasperation. He floo'd to the Weasley's residence.



Stumbling out of the fireplace, he was exposed to a rather strange sight. Rose was sitting in between her parents on one couch, while Rory was sitting opposite her, in between his own parents.

Both the mothers were lost in conversation, while the fathers stared awkwardly. Rose and Rory were apparently having a silent conversation. As soon as they saw Scorpius, Rose looked elated. The men looked murderous and the women, confused. Rory, as usual, was pretty expressionless.

Rose stood up and pulled Rory with her.

'Uhh... We're going to go talk about school...' she told the parents as she gestured towards the door. The three of them stepped outside and stood in the cool air for a few seconds.

'Just what do we do?' Rose asked, in a frustrated voice.

Rory looked at her simply. 'We tell my dad that-"

They were interrupted by the noise of someone opening the gate.

'Uncle George?' Rose asked. She was a little relieved. He always had a solution to every bizzarre problem. She quickly explained the situation to him, expecting a reply, but George only seemed to only crack up. After they were done, he promised that he would try something. 'By the way, Seamus likes the taste of Puking Pastilles, doesn't he?' He asked Rory, just before he went inside. A confused looking Rory nodded and George walked inside, smiling to himself and the three of them followed silently.

There was an awkward silence when they all walked in. It was as if the parents had no idea about what to say to each other; like all topics of conversation had run dry. They all looked incredibly happy to see George, who was the life and soul of any situation.

For the second time that day, he was told the story of how Rose was now engaged to Rory and he offered them both him congratulations, along with a rather wicked smile. Scorpius, feeling left out tried to say something to impress Ron, but he was subjected to one of Ron's ineffective death glares. Just as he was about to make a statement about how he loved Chudley Cannons, Ron's favourite Quidditch team, George interrupted. 'Have a sweet, Seamus. It's a great feeling, being father of the groom, am I right?' He smiled innocently, handing him a box of sweets that looked like Puking Pastilles. But Seamus was quick.

'What's the catch, Weasley?' He asked, suspiciously.

'Why? Can't a man offer a sweet to a friend?' Asked George.

Seamus took a sweet and put it in his mouth. As he slowly chewed, his eyes lit up. 'Can I have one more?' He asked George.

George extended the box towards him once again, but Seamus merely eyes the box for a couple of seconds before suddenly grabbing it.

And then Seamus Finnigan downed the box of Puking Pastilles.

However, he did not puke. Only Rose and Scorpius had figured out that the sweet was a Puking Pastille. While Scorpius had a knowing smirk on his face, Rose looked mildly confused.

'Why hasn't it worked yet?' She asked. 'They usual-'

Scorpius cut her off by covering her mouth and jerked her head towards George's coat pocket that contained a tiny box of Patented Daydream potions.

Seamus' eyes had glazed over and he looked like he was about to cry. He had launched into a romantic dialogue when his gaze passed on to Rose and suddenly his expression changed. He looked absolutely livid. Before anybody could stop him, he secured a giant blow on Rose's head.



Rose woke up on her bed. Her bedside clock told her that it was half past noon. She couldn't remember anything after Seamus had downed the box of Puking Pastilles.

'Oh! You're up!' Scorpius smiled as he made his way across the room to give her a clumsy hug. Also present in the room was a Healer, who was sitting on a chair and reading '10 Ways to Charm Him before He Leaves Mungos'. She idly flipped a page, clearly not bothered that Rose had woken up. She could hear voices from the corridor. McGonagall seemed to be screaming at someone. 'I know a spell when I see one, Mr.Weasley. And in any case, I know that you had transfigured it into something else.' George's playful voice bleated out a half-hearted apology as the door opened. Her parents, George and McGonagall entered the room.

'The engagement's off,' her Mum revealed. 'It turns out that something completely bothered Seamus yesterday.'

'What about the promise Dad made?' Rose asked grudgingly.

Hermione's facial expression morphed into annoyance, and Ron walked over to her and said a few pacifying words in her ears.

'Your parents have been shouting at George all night about this,' Scorpius muttered quiety to Rose.

'Well,' Ron chuckled slightly. 'It turns out that you were never really kidnapped. The whole thing was a prank by your Uncle George!'

'Whom you should be seeing off,' replied George jovially, as everyone but Hermione was laughing.

Rose's parents left to see George off.

Professor McGonagall continued to walk around the room, looking at things. Rose wondered why she had come to see her. 

Scorpius kissed the top of Rose's head and told her that he was lucky to have her back, even though he had never really lost her in the first place. As they stayed frozen, Professor  McGonagall picked up a Patented Daydream Charm that was lying on the desk, and smiled amusedly. She pocketed it as she bid they good bye and left.

'So... A Patented Daydream Charm? It was all a bizarre dream?' Asked Rose, as they entered the drawing room where her parents had set out plates of food.

And then a unicorn burst into the drawing room and ate everyone's biscuits.

'Au Contraire, now was it?' Smirked Scorpius, as he turned around to kiss a very dazed Rose Weasley on the lips.




Author's Note:

Okay, so I ended it on an open note. Well, sort-of. I've always wanted to do that. Hope it's boggling your minds a bit, and making you think. I hope you liked this, even though it's zany and crazy and monumentally weird. It was fun to write :) Do fill in your thoughts in the little box below. It would be so helpful!


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