Chapter 1 : Gone For Good
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Hannah Abbott's POV:
Ever since my mother’s death things had been hard. Dumbledore had allowed me a bit of time away from school to be with my family. My father was of course devastated. She was the absolute love of his life... They went to school together; her, a muggleborn witch. Him, a pureblood wizard. They got married, completely and utterly in love, and then had me; their only daughter. When I went to Hogwarts I was sorted into Hufflepuff. My parents were pleased; at least I wasn’t sorted into Slytherin. I was classed in the light side. That’s always a good thing, right? I guess... School was good. I was happy. Until 6th year, when Voldemort killed my mother. Took her life from us. My smart, beautiful, amazing mother. Gone in an instant. I was very upset, she was my whole world. So of course when he came in, with his charming good looks, and his smile, and his laugh, I was as he wanted me to be; alone, depressed, in need of comfort. I knew he was no good, people told me he would change me, I just didn’t believe them. He was perfect, he was there. This is the story, of how I turned to the dark side.
Beginning of 7th Year:
I hug my father tightly. “I’m to miss you so much Han!” He whispers sadly. “Without you and your mum things are going to be so difficult!”
“I know dad. I’ll miss you too! I wish I didn’t have to go, I wish it wasn’t mandatory. I would stay.”
“Just keep your head down, stay out of people’s way, decisions...” He tells me pulling out of the hug. Nodding I grab the handle of my trunk and turn to leave. Before I go, my dad grabs my arm and tells me one last thing. “Be safe, be strong. I’ll miss you. Have a good term.” Kissing my cheek one last time, he bids me farewell, tears in his eyes. I turn as well, biting back the tears of having to leave my poor, lonely father on his own. It’s not like I had a choice.
After Dumbledore’s death, and the ministry being taken over by Voldemort, they made it mandatory for all school age purebloods and halfbloods to attend Hogwarts. The muggleborns, they rounded up for ‘questioning’... AKA interrogation. It was horrible. I feel people of power don’t speak up about it because they fear that the dark mark will be hovering over their houses. That their families will be the next targeted, killed for the fun of it, or something equally as horrible. But there are some who risk it all every day, the people who fight for freedom, peace, light. For the good in the world to be restored. The Order of the Phoenix with Harry Potter. Harry is the good, our last hope. We need him. We fight for the light but the Order is an organization of wizards and witches who are of age and are willing to openly disobey Voldemort and the Death Eaters outrageous laws. They are the voice of all of us fighting for the light.
After lifting my heavy trunk onto the train I give my dad one last small wave and climb aboard. I find an empty compartment and pull out my muggle book that I’ve been reading for a while. “Hello Hannah Abbott!” The dreamy Luna Lovegood positively floats into the compartment.
“Hello Luna!” I respond looking up from my book. Luna hasn’t changed a bit; she still has her long curly white blonde hair and dreamy blue eyes. She’s reading the new edition of the quibbler upside down, and has a stack of said magazine beside her. I’m about to say something when a familiar red head walks into the compartment. Ginny Weasley really hasn’t changed much; she’s gotten taller and her hair’s a bit longer, but other than that same old Ginny Weasley.
“Hey Hannah, hey Luna!” She says smiling as she places her trunk on the luggage rack above her. She sits beside me gracefully. “How was your summer? It’s so great to see you again Han, after all this time…”
“It’s great to see you too Gin. My summer was… as OK as it could be, with my mum gone and all…” My voice fades off into the distance as I remember my smart, beautiful mother.
“Right, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. It must be so hard to deal with everything. Let me know if you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
“So will I.” Luna adds in a serious tone. “I lost my mum as well, and I know how hard it was for me… What kept me going was my dad; he is always there for me.” I nod at both of them.
“Thanks guys, for everything.” We fall into a comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. The compartment door opens for a third time and in walks Neville Longbottom, Ernie MacMillan, and Seamus Finnegan. We all exchange greetings. Soon enough, the train starts to move. Hermione Granger, Justin Finch-Fletchley, and Dean Thomas would obviously not be attending this year since they were muggleborns and I’m positive if harry attended this year he’d be knocking on the very front door of he who must not be named, but Ron Weasley should be here, I decide to ask Ginny about it. “Hey Gin? Where’s Ron?” I whisper to her as one of the death eaters on the train looks grumpily into our compartment, he turns away heading off toward the right of the train to finish his rounds.
“He, Harry, and Hermione went off to find clues about he who must not be named. Bloody gits, didn’t even tell me anything about where they were going…” She frowns slightly. “Ron’s pitched a story that he’s got a bout of dragon pox that is highly contagious, the ministry believed it and let him be absent from school till he’s better.” I nod signalling I understood and started up a conversation with Ernie about his summer vacation in Greece. Faster than expected we reach Hogsmeade Station. I lug my trunk and my tawny owl Iris’ cage to onto the platform and leave them there to be magically brought up to Hogwarts like usual. A death eater stands on the platform.
“Students,” He growled. “This year will be a bit different... Students carry their trunks up to the castle themselves. Only select students will be able to get a ride to the castle in the carriages, everyone else must walk. The headmaster has requested that the first year process stay the same, therefore everyone going into first year will come with me. My colleague here.” He beckons to a man next to him “Will tell the select few where to go. Everyone else, follow the lit path up to the castle... That is all.” He and all the first years walk towards the lake, him mumbling facts about Hogwarts here and there. His death eater companion steps forward with a list of names which compiles of practically ALL the Slytherins in every year. I’m actually quite happy my name isn’t on that list for I’d rather not be stuck in that situation; I’d rather walk the long way to Hogwarts.
Picking up my trunk and Iris’ cage I start the journey on the poorly lit path with Seamus, Neville, and Ernie in front of me and Ginny and Luna in line with me. We make it to the castle with only a few minor stumbles here and there. Leaving our trunks in each of our respective categories we walk into the great hall where we separate; Luna going towards the Ravenclaw table, Seamus, Neville, and Ginny walking to the Gryffindor table, and Ernie and I walking towards the Hufflepuff table. We sit at the nearly empty table since we’re in the first few to reach the castle (Apart from the Slytherin table there are only a few people seated at each house table.) As more people filter into the hall I mutter greetings to the people I’m acquainted with in my house smiling at the others who were too far away down the table.
Finally the great hall fills and the teachers file into their seats at the heads table from a door behind them. I see the usuals; Professors Sprout, Binns, McGonagall, Flitwick, Babbling, Vector, Grubbly-Plank, Sinistra, Trelawney, and Vector sitting in their usual seats, all frowning slightly. Snape sits in the headmasters chair scanning the room. To his direct left and right, death eaters. They look like twins; a man and woman with the same ugly sneer on their face. They look down their noses at us.
Then the great hall doors open and the death eater who was on the platform leads the first years to the front. They all get sorted and Snape says his headmaster speech. The food then appears magically like usual and the first years all gasp excitedly. As I enjoy the food I can’t help but feel two eyes boring into my back. Turning I see the one and only Blaise Zabini looking as handsome as ever. His eyes lock with mine and in that moment I want to turn away... But I can’t, his eyes are captivating. Eventually he turns away and continues talking to Draco Malfoy. Sighing I turn my attention to my food. After I finish me and Ernie gather all the first years to lead them to the common room.
“This way.” I tell them. Once I get to the hidden entrance I turn to them and say. “This is the Hufflepuff common room. It is concealed behind these barrels. To reveal the entrance you must tap the 2nd barrel from the bottom, in the middle of the 2nd row in the rhythm of ‘Helga Hufflepuff’. The lid will open and you have to crawl through the passageway revealed to get to the common room.”
“If you tap the wrong lid or in the wrong rhythm. Vinegar will be poured all over you and you’ll be denied access so remember what we’re telling you or you’ll be doused in vinegar.” Ernie says. He taps the correct barrel and rhythm and the passageway is revealed. Ernie climbs in first, and then all the first years, finally I’m the last person to go through. Ernie explains everything about the common room. Then I lead the girls to their dorms while Ernie leads the boys to their dorms. After showing the first year girls their dorms, I go up to my dorm and find the only other 4 Hufflepuff girls. Usually theirs 8 of us, but the 3 that are muggleborn are in hiding. I say hi to Raelle Beaumont, Melanie Wright, Holly Ross, and Chloe Barker. Then I change into my pyjamas and go to sleep. That night my dreams are filled with one Blaise Zabini. He seems different, like he cares.
The Next Morning:
I wake up sharply and look around for a few minutes before remembering I’m at Hogwarts. Grabbing my toiletries I take a hot shower, change into my uniform and brush a comb through my long hair. Walking out of the bathroom I see Raelle, Melanie, and Holly already awake and ready. I walk over to Chloe’s bed. “Chloe,” I say, pushing her with my foot slightly “Get up, its 7:30. We have to be in the great hall by 8 o’clock sharp!”
“I’m up… I’m up” She grumbles. Her head falls slowly back onto her pillows as she starts softly snoring; I shake my head and turn away. Melanie then takes on the task of waking Chloe up.
“Get your arse out of bed!” She yells shaking her. Mel grabs Chloe’s comforter and pulls. There’s a loud ‘oomph.’ From Chloe.
“Now are you up?” I ask.
“Yup. And a nice soft awakening that was. Thanks Mel!” We all giggle as she stumbles to the bathroom. By 7:45 we’re all ready and we walk down to the great hall together. Sitting at the Hufflepuff table next to Ernie and his dorm mates; Jacob Lowen, Matt Reid, Don Tran, and Brandon Kristensen. We finish breakfast and wait for our timetables to be delivered. Professor Sprout gives us our tables with a polite smile on her face. All of us have the same timetable. Monday, Wednesday, Friday we have Potions first, Muggle Studies, Lunch, Ancient Runes, and last Herbology. Wednesday nights at 10pm we have Astronomy. Tuesday and Thursday we have Transfiguration first, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Lunch, Charms, and last Herbology.
Classes start at 9 sharp so we rush off to the dungeons as it’s almost 8:45. We reach potions just in time and realise there are no whole tables left, we split into two’s; Mel and Chloe, Holly and Jake, Matt and Don, Ernie and Brandon, and Rae and me. Rae and I end up sharing a table with… wait for it… Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini. Then Slughorn decides that we’d be working in partners for this potion so naturally I thought I’d be working with Rae, but no. He ends up picking our partners. Rae gets partnered with Pansy, Draco gets partnered with a pretty Slytherin names Daphne Greengrass. I, of course, get partnered with Blaise. I turn to look at Rae and she gives me a look that clearly says ‘This is the worst class EVER.’ I feel a soft tap on my shoulder and turn to see Blaise looking at me darkly.
“Shall we get started?” he says.
“Yeah, sure.” I say moving to his station on our table. Slughorn walks over and gives us our potion; Amortentia. (AN: Let’s just say for the sake of this story Amortentia can be made in one class…)
“Ok, so, I’ll get the ingredients while you start everything up, does that sound ok?” He grumbles.
“Sure.” I say quietly. He saunters off leaving me to get the cauldron ready and start boiling the ingredients we have at our table already. Blaise returns after a while and I smile at him slightly, he smiles brightly back and starts tossing ingredients into our cauldron. We go like this for a while I read him what we need next in the potions book while he does what I read, after a while we switch rolls. After we’ve finished with all the steps we are happy to see that our potion looks exactly as it should; it has a mother of pearl sheen. And I can make out my mother’s favourite perfume, and a clean scent that I can’t quite place. Bottling our potion in a vial Blaise and I walk up to Slughorn beaming. He tests our potion nods in approval and tells us to clean up our station and wait for the bell. We magically clean our station and sit down to wait for the end of class. After everyone is done and cleaned up Slughorn stands.
“Everyone! I expect an essay due Friday, written by both partners due Friday.” We all slightly groan. “NEWTS years are tough, let’s go, get to class.” He says. We gather our bags and Blaise and I arrange to meet in the library after dinner to discuss our essays. I rush off to Muggle Studies and get there fairly early. As we enter the class room the death eater/ teacher, Alecto, marches to the front.
“Sit your arses down!” She barks. We all rush to sit down. “Now I know you’ve all been taught in this class about how Muggles are good. That’s wrong. Mudbloods and Muggles are filth! The only thing they’re there for is to wipe the scum off the shoes of us with the purest of blood.” The part of the class that has been brainwashed for years with these principals nod in approval while the other part shake their heads slightly. The whole class comprises of Alecto frowning upon everyone in the class who is classed as impure. And teaching us about how Muggles corrupt our world. Overall I leave that class with a permanent frown on my face, as do many others. Mel, Chloe, Holly, Raelle, Jake, Matt, Don, Brandon, Ernie, and I go down to lunch, the horrid muggle studies class etched in our minds.
“How full of bull was that class.” Matt says.
“I agree... that was terrible.” Mel says. We all nod our agreement as we wolf down our food. The warning bell rings so we run off to Ancient Runes, which is a much better lesson then that muggle studies class. Finally we let out a big sigh as it’s the last class of the day; Herbology. The class passes without incident. We all go to dinner. I eat some chicken Alfredo pasta, ceaser salad, and pumpkin juice. As I get up to leave, I catch Blaise’s eye and he stands, excusing himself. We walk to the library together in silence then set to work.
“So…” He says. “What shall we do for this essay?”
“I think we should just find some interesting facts on our potion and write it all in an essay.” I tell him timidly. He smiles that bright smile, nods, and turns to start looking for books on Amortentia. I pick up a rather large book and look in the table of contents for Amortentia; it’s fairly near the front of the book. Turning to its assigned page I begin to read; ‘Amortentia is the most powerful Love Potion in the entire world. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession in the drinker. It has a distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from it in characteristic spirals. It has a different aroma for everyone who smells it, reminding each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person themselves doesn't acknowledge or is unaware of their fondness for the object of their affection. The effects of the potion on a person are described to be near instantaneous; with the person who drank the potion appearing "pale and sickly" and becoming obsessed with the object of their affections, speaking of them as though "hit by a ray of purest sunlight" and becoming excited or dangerously unstable towards others. The potion must be administrated continuously in order to maintain the false love in the drinker. Otherwise the effects will wear off and the drinker will regain their own free will.’ Grabbing a piece of parchment I jot down the information, and put the book back in its section. We work till it’s almost curfew. Then we pack our notes into our rucksacks and walk to the great hall where we go our separate ways. As I enter my dorm the girls all stop what they’re doing and look my way.
“Where were you?” Chloe asks.
“Oh, Blaise and I were working on our essay for potions in the library.” I shrug and gather my pyjamas from my trunk. I see the other 4 girls exchange looks.
“Han.” Mel says. “He’s a Slytherin, him and his family look down on non purebloods. He’s Draco Malfoy’s best friend.”
“We’re just potions partners. And he’s actually not that bad.” I snap back, getting annoyed.
“We know you’re just partners but we also know you get attached to people easily and like to please people.” Rae says grabbing my hand. I shrug out of her grip and turn away from her.
“All we’re saying Han is be careful. We don’t want you to change, he’ll change you. We want you to stay the way you are.” Holly whispers.
“I’m fine, I won’t change, and I’ll stay exactly the way I am while working with Blaise. So STOP.” I growl and storm into the bathroom slamming the door behind me.
We all finch as she slams the door. “Well that went well…” Mel says sarcastically.
“I don’t like him. I feel like he’s up to something… And that something will hurt her bad.” Holly whispers.
“We need to poke around. Steer her away from him. He’s bad news…” Chloe says. We all nod. “For now let’s just go to bed,” Climbing into my four poster bed I close my eyes only vaguely aware of Hannah falling into the bed next to me. The next moment I fall into a dreamless sleep.
Classes had been going very well, difficult. But I expected that as it is NEWT’s year. The girls and I had agreed to put our disagreement behind us, but Blaise and I had been hanging out more outside of class. They were still very wary. I’d of course told them that I was friends with Blaise, and they didn’t like that at all. Neither did Ernie; he always looked slightly annoyed when I went off to meet Blaise. He’d even asked me to the Hogsmeade trip on Saturday. I’d told him I wasn’t going; Blaise had asked me to go with him and I knew Ernie would’ve been hurt if I’d told him.
“Hey Hannah?” Mel says as she runs to catch up to me in the halls. I stop and wait for her.
“Hey Mel!” I say as she gets nearer to me.
“So Chloe, Holly and I are going shopping in Hogsmeade tomorrow, want to come? Rae has a date so she’ll join us after.”
“Ummm…” I really didn’t want to lie to Mel as we’re so close and we should tell each other everything. “I already have plans. Maybe I’ll meet you later like Rae.”
“Oh, Ok.” She says with a small frown on her face. “That’s fine.” As I’m about to enter our common room Blaise pulls me aside. He kisses me sharply and I’m caught by surprise. We’ve kissed once before…
It was late… Very late. Blaise and I had been putting finishing touches on our essay due the next morning. I get the feeling of being watched and I look up to see Blaise’s intense deep brown eyes. Our gazes lock. He stares into my eyes. As I’m transfixed on those eyes I try to snap out of my thoughts. Eventually I break the gaze and look down at the large novel in my lap. He grabs my chin and brings his lips to mine in a sweet but passionate kiss. I kiss back slightly. And I can’t help but feel sparks.
I pull back slightly as Mel looks at me sharply, then storms into our common room. “So, what do you say about meeting in the great hall at around 9. Draco wants us to meet him later off the main street of Hogsmeade at around 9:30. But we have the whole day after that.”
“He wants to meet both of us?” I ask. Blaise nods.
“He accepts you. I really like you, and he knows that.”
“Sounds good! The girls want to meet me later in the day.” I say he nods. “See you then?”
“Bye.” We share another really passionate kiss before I turn away, entering the common room. Mel looks at me as I enter our dorm.
“So, that’s your plans? Blaise Zabini?” She asks, and I nod.
“I really like him Mel. Like really like him. I’m totally falling for him.” She nods gravely.
“Well if you’re happy, and you don’t change too much, I’m fine with him.” I give her a huge hug and she squeezes me back. “So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”
“Well Blaise and I are hanging out. Then we can maybe meet up at the three broom sticks at around 3?” I ask.
“Sure!” She says. “Sounds great.” We all settle down and get to sleep for the long day ahead of us. My dreams are filled with the face of one Blaise Zabini.
The Next Morning:
I wake up suddenly. I had been having this dream, more like a bitter sweet dream, involving he-who-must-not-be-named, and my mother? Another thing is they are friends, talking amiably. I look at my clock and see its 7:45. Jumping out of bed I grab my towel and the outfit I had laid out carefully (Dark-wash skinny jeans, a graphic tank top, a cardigan, and gladiator sandals) to the bathroom and get ready quickly. I pair the whole outfit with a matching satchel. Everyone’s still asleep so I change as quietly as possible and leave the room. Walking to the great hall, no one’s up yet so the castle is quite quiet. I walk to the Hufflepuff table and eat a breakfast of waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, and orange juice. As I’m just finishing my breakfast I see Blaise getting up from the Slytherin table as, by the clock in the great hall, it’s 9. I get up as well, grab my bag, and walk to the great hall. Walking up to a waiting Blaise we get screened by Filch before we are allowed to step foot into the grounds. A soft September breeze blows my loose hair back as Blaise and I begin to talk about our lives.
“So...” I say. “Your family, what are they like?” We sit down on a bench nearby.
“My dad died when I was 4. He had a run in with a wizard who didn’t know his intentions. They thought he was planning to harm them, since my family has quite a reputation, they killed him. I was quite young so I didn’t quite understand what was going on. All I knew was my father was gone and was never coming back. Of course I wished I’d had more time with him, for him to be here to see me grow up and stuff, but my mum’s awesome. She’s remarried a few times, but has never been as happy with these other men then she was with my dad. She’s incredibly beautiful so people were happy to marry her. Of course I don’t see her that much. She’s a main healer in the children’s ward so she’s always at work, or she’s traveling somewhere with her boyfriend, plus I’m an only child so it’s always been quite lonely at home. I don’t mind really, I like being alone.” He sighs.
“I’m sorry.” I say, giving him a small hug.
“It’s ok, so what about your family?”
“Well, I’m an only child as well. Growing up was great. My parents were always loving and there for me. My dad and mum both worked in the ministry, and were quite busy, but they always managed to take some time out of their days to spend time with me. Things were great at home; till my mum was murdered last year. I was at Hogwarts at the time when I got the news, immediately after I packed my stuff and left for home, my family needed me there, and Dumbledore understood. My dad fell into a deep depression, and for a while, it was just me, almost like my dad wasn’t there, he wasn’t my dad. I was the one carrying us both; I did everything for myself, plus him. I made the food for him and sat there waiting till his plate was completely clean. I woke him up. Forced him in the bathroom to get ready for work, and pushed him out the door. I was the one who would comfort him when he had cried, thinking about mum."
"I never really had time to grieve, there was too much to be done. Funeral Plans. My aunts, uncle, and grandparent’s practically lived with us. Friends and Relatives were dropping mourning gifts off, food, anything. It never really set in that my mother was gone till after the funeral, when all of my relatives stopped coming over 24/7. I was really alone at home. I had all the time in the world to really think about everything, most of it came back to how much I missed my mum; her smile, her laugh, her voice, how the whole house just lit up when she was around. My mother was gone for good, and darkness replaced her. Then this year it was mandatory to go to Hogwarts, I was worried that my father wouldn’t be able to survive without me, he could barely get out of bed without me there, but he assured me he would be fine. But I can’t help but worry, you know. I just hope that he’s doing fine.” I’m not aware that I’m crying till Blaise wipes the tears from my cheeks.
We just sit there hugging till we realise It’s almost 9:30, and we’re going to be late meeting Draco. After I assure Blaise I’m fine, we continue walking into Hogsmeade, where we find Draco at the south side of Hogsmeade, where no one really goes. He’s there with a boy I recognise as Theodore Nott. Blaise introduces me and they shake my hand, Draco smiling at me slightly. SMILING. I didn’t even know the Draco Malfoy was capable of making the facial expression.
They’re talking about how they want to hex someone and humiliate them. I feel uneasy but I still go with it, it’s just a joke, and it doesn’t seem like they’re going to hurt this person, so it’s ok. Theo hands me a muggle camera to film it, and instructs me on what to do, and fills me in on the plan, they’re each going to do a different hex on this guy. I have a slight suspicion they mean Neville as they were talking about the buck toothed loser. It didn’t sound too serious, I mean Neville seemed fine. Till they actually did the curse and he ran looked at me with the camera, and then ran away in tears. I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would, but Ernie gave me a look. As we turned to leave Ernie grabbed my arm.
“Can we talk?” He grumbles, glaring at me.
“Fine!” I snap. I toss Theo his camera and march off with Ernie. “What is it?” I ask him sharply.
“How could you do that? First you told me you weren’t going to Hogsmeade. Then you go with those people. Then you humiliate Neville, and look like you enjoy it!”
“I did enjoy it actually. More than you think. I found it harmless and a good laugh.”
“If you feel that way you aren't who I thought you were!” His voice rises slightly.
“Then I'm not who you thought I was! I enjoyed it, and Blaise has really helped me with my mums death... Well more then you did at least! He's been here for me; I thought you'd be happy for me, They aren't that bad!” I yell back.
"They're bad, they're terrible! Absolutely table... If you’re going to become one them I don’t want you around me, you’re turning into one of them slowly, and it’s terrible!” He says.
“Fine. I’ll start hanging out with them. Gosh it was just a little joke!” I say turning and marching away.
“Have fun with your disgusting death eater friends!” He yells after me.
“I will!” I yell back. Marching past Holly, Mel, and Chloe’s shocked faces I walk to where Draco, Theo, and Blaise are waiting for me. “Let’s go.” I say. They nod and we walk the familiar path up to the castle. I have one arm around Blaise and the other around Theo. As I look back I see a crowd of my old friends glaring back at me, but I don’t feel bad, I don’t feel an ounce of regret, I feel happy, at piece. After a while I turn away from my broken friendships, content with my new ones...