Chapter 4 : One Step Closer
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ayesha is perfect <3 (afterglow@tda)
"Space cadet, I asked you a bloody question," Vivian threw her spare quill at me, "What is Golpalott's Third Law?"
"Oh," I quickly shook my head and shuffled through the piles of parchment in front of me, "Um... The antidote..."
"Are you serious, we've known this since last year," she huffed at me.
"I've got it, alright? Hell," I scowled at her as I continued to rummage through my notes, "Aha! The antidote for a blended potion will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the seperate components," I grinned smugly.
"Don't get cocky, you looked it up," she scolded, "You should have remembered it. What is up with you?"
"Nothing, Vee, I'm just dealing with a lot of stress right now," I sighed as I leaned my forehead on my palm.
"Is this about Regulus? Because I told you he's scum and you should be over him by now. I don't know how much I have to repeat myself."
"It's not... okay so maybe... it's not that simple, Viv," I grimaced at the table, "And it hasn't even been a month, cut me a little damn slack. We were together for over two years. That's not something that just goes away."
Okay, so it wasn't the whole truth. I was also thinking about taking Sirius up on his offer for some quality Bench of Confidentiality time. I hadn't spoken to him or even really seen him since our last meeting the week before.
"We could always make it go away," she shrugged.
"You are not testing your memory charms on me, Vivian. The last time you tried them on someone you made some poor third year forget his own name. I just... I just need to power through it. Maybe if I just bury myself in work.
'Or Sirius,' my brain responded.
I just mentally swatted the idea away. I didn't need more distractions.
I was startled by the smacking of a wand on the table.
"Fucking hell," I jumped in my seat, only to look up to see Regulus standing there glaring at me.
"I need to speak to you," He said curtly.
"After that?" I gestured to the table, "Yes, please, let me drop everything I'm doing to please you, since you requested my attention so very politely."
"Prick," Vee muttered.
"This doesn't concern you, Vivian," he snapped, "Now, Sonya."
"No," I scowled, "I don't have to do anything for you."
"If it involved Soze, it involves me. I'll find out what the hell has your panties in a knot once you're done talking to her anyways," she nodded triumphantly.
"Fine," he sneered as he leaned on the table and moved closer to me, "Why were you talking to my brother?"
"What?" I faked.
"You were talking to my brother last week. Outside. Why?" He glared.
"Wow, really?" I laughed, "You're really going to come at me about that? I went outside to clear my head, he was in my spot, we conversed shortly, it was nothing. He was just there."
"I don't believe you," he squinted.
"I don't ruddly well care what you believe," I snapped as I pushed away from the table, "What I do with my free time is no longer any of your business. I will speak to whomever I wish, whether you like it or not," I gathered my books and my papers angrily and started to walk away, only to spin around to face him again, "I don't know why you even care, it's not like you paid attention to anything I did or wanted when we were together. Go back to drawing dark marks on your arm with your quill, you ass."
And with that I stormed to my dorm.
"What the hell!" I heard him shout after hearing a thud, so I only assumed Vivian hit him with something.
"Soze, wait!" I heard her shout as her footsteps echoed in the hallway.
"I'm fine," I sniffed as I slammed my things on my bed and wiped a tear away with my sleeve.
"No you aren't," she said sadly as she picked up the papers that I had unknowingly dropped, "And I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. It was kind of heartless of me."
"It wasn't heartless, Vee," I forced a sad smile, "You're just looking out for my best interest, which is the opposite of heartless."
She set my papers in a neat pile on my duvet, "I'm hear if you want to talk about it. You know that, yeah?"
I simply nodded.
"Okay, good. I'll uh..." she kicked the toe of her shoe into the floor, "I'll leave you to it then. I'll be in the common room if you need me."
"Thank you, Vee."
She shut the heavy wooden door behind her, and suddently I was alone with my thoughts once again.
"Well this is just no good," I started to cry again as I sat on the edge of my bed.
I quickly grabbed my cloak and rushed out of my room, sped past the common room, and snuck out into the damp hallways to head to the Owlery.
It was chillier than I thought it would be, so I pulled my cloak closer to myself as I quickened my pace, only to run into someone yet again as I passed through the archway to the outdoors, almost falling over.
"We have got to stop meeting like that," Sirius chuckled as he steadied me.
I just looked at him sadly.
"Okay, bench time," he said quickly as he threw his arm over my shoulder and lead me to our spot.
"The little git," he muttered after I told him what had happened with his brother, "I'm really sorry, Sonya."
The look on his face was sad and sincere, but in that moment I was finding it hard to believe him. I didn't even know why it was him I had run to, when all I wanted to do was just eradicate all Black family members from the face of the earth.
He reached for my hand, and I just pulled away with a scowl.
"What... did I do?"
"Just don't touch me right now," I tried to hold back the tears that I had fought so hard to keep hidden from him, "I don't really trust anyone right now."
"Then why did you talk to me?" He snapped.
Apparently I had offended him.
"I don't know, okay!" I shouted "I don't know. I just felt like talking to you would make it better like it did last time, but it's not. It's just not."
"I don't know why I even bothered talking to you, you're clearly still hung up on my brother and can't even appreciate a decent friendship. Maybe you should go run to Regulus and see if he'll comfort you with his unadulterated hatred."
I couldn't hold the tears back any longer as they broke free like a flood.
"Sonya... ah shit... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you... dammit, come here."
He wrapped his arms around me and ran his fingers through my hair.
"I'm sorry," he whispered as he tried to calm me, "You didn't deserve that. Everything's okay. You're okay. You're safe."
He held me in silence as I let everything out, and stayed there until I had nothing left to cry about.
"I'm so sorry," he said softly as he wiped the leftover tears from my cheek and kissed the top of my head.
"It's okay," I sniffed as I buried my face in his shoulder, "It was my fault. I'm sorry I snapped at you."
"It's not your fault. It's my stupid asshole of a brother's fault. I'm sorry he hurt you again. You did nothing wrong," he cupped my face in his hand and tilted my face toward his, "I've know I've only spoken to you a handful of times - granted under stressful situations - but I have watched you from a distance for quite some time, mainly while keeping an eye on Regulus. You are a beautiful person, Sonya. You deserve to be happy. You don't deserve to be treated the way he's treated you. You should be with someone who treats you well and cares about you. Someone who loves you for you, and who can appreciate how wonderful you are."
"Someone like you?" I whispered as I looked into his eyes.
"I... I didn't mean... um..." he stammered as he dropped his hand from my face and ran it through his hair, "I cannot, in good conscience, answer that question at this time. It's a very fragile moment, and my brother-"
"Just answer the question," I said sharply as I sat up straight, "Are you interested in me?"
"I'm interested in your well-being and happiness, yes," he responded nervously.
"You're lying to me."
"You are!" I whipered harshly, "You're lying right through your teeth! You really were just trying to get me into your bed, weren't you! All of this... this ruse," I threw my hands up in exasperation, "Was just so you could sleep with me, wasn't it?"
"What? No!" He looked disgusted, "I would never do that, Sonya. Not to you, not to anyone. Did you not pay attention to a damn word I said last week?" He rose to his feet and angrily pointed a finger in my face, "That is not who I am. I am not a low-life scumbag preying on heartbroken and innocent girls."
"Don't you dare shove your finger in my face!" I yelled as I shoved his hand away and stood up to meet his height as much as I could, "I am not some child for you to scold!"
"Then don't give me a damn reason to scold you!"
"You are... unbelieveable!" I got right in his face, "One second you're trying to comfort me and the next your bitching at me for something stupid! Are you bloody bi-polar?"
"If my memory serves correct," he inched closer and sneered at me, "You started this fight. Both of them, actually"
"And I will finish it," I snapped as I began to turn and walk away from him.
He quickly grabbed my arm, spun me back toward him, and roughly pressed his lips to mine.
And with that single kiss, my fate was sealed.
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