Chapter 15: An Eventful Anniversary
Today is the anniversary of when we got back together. She's still totally beautiful, of course. She's even started to show a little bit now, it's not noticeable when she's wearing clothes, but at night when she's wearing nothing but a t shirt and underwear, there's definitely something there.
I start out every day by kissing her awake and then moving down to her stomach and kissing that too. She almost glows with radiance these days.
We were sat on the sofa, her head was in my lap and she was reading a book. Occasionally she looked up from her book and I bent down to kiss her.
Suddenly there was a loud crack, and we both leaped up, grabbing our wands.
There stood my grandfather, standing tall in dark robes, looking murderous, and before I could step in front of her, he made a slashing motion with his wand, and she fell to the floor. I moved forward to attack him, but he was too quick, and disapparated.
I heard a faint gushing sound, and turned around. Emily was on the floor, blood pouring out of an open wound in her stomach. Where the baby was.
I pulled off my t shirt and pressed it to the wound to try and stop the blood flow. It didn't help. She was almost as pale as me now. I grabbed her and disapparated.
When everything reappeared we were in the St Mungo's emergency area. I called for help and about six healers ran over.
"Please save her," I begged them. "And the baby too."
One of them looked at me sadly. "I'm afraid the baby is already lost."
I didn't have time to break down. I had to be strong for her. She reached out and grabbed my hand. She squeezed, and I knew she was going to be fine.
I never left her side. The healers worked over her for an hour, trying to stop the blood and seal the wound, and then they had to get rid of the baby. They couldn't even tell if it was a boy or a girl.
She had to stay overnight, just in case. I insisted on a private room, away from everyone else. The healer had given her a sleeping potion, and she was completely out of it. I kicked off my shoes and got into bed with her. She'd been crying on and off all day. I put my hands where they usually go; around her waist. Her stomach was flat again, empty. I buried my face in her hair and finally let myself grieve.
I was woken up this morning by her stroking my face. I opened my eyes to look at her, and the tears were still falling. She wiped them away, but more came. I buried my face in her shoulder. It was her turn to comfort me.
We were interrupted by a healer coming in to discharge her.
We held hands and disapparated back home.
She immediately start casting spells.
"What are you doing?" I asked her.
"Making sure nobody can drop in uninvited again," she said grimly.
When she was finished, I pulled her close to me.
"We never finished celebrating yesterday," I murmured to her.
"Oh, I don't know if I'm in the mood now."
I pulled away and looked at her. "I didn't mean sex. I was going to run you a hot bath after dinner and then we'd have sex. We don't have to do the sex part though."
She smiled. "A bath does sound nice."
I took her hand and led her to the bathroom, and started running one. We both jumped in and she leaned on me as I gave her a back rub. It reminded me strongly of our wedding night. Too strongly. I was sure she noticed.
She turned around and smiled. She shifted her body so that she was sat tantalisingly close. She was teasing me; she wanted me to grab her and make love to her. There was no rush, so I leaned back and put my arms behind my head and just looked at her. Usually when I do that she comes to kiss me, but this time she just put her head on my chest and sighed. Of course. It was a horrible situation and we both felt awful, and we probably would for a while.
She got out of the bath before me and headed into our bedroom to get dressed. I stayed behind and carefully dried myself, I knew that watching her dress herself would aggravate me even further.
I gave her five minutes and then went in with her. She only had a t shirt and underwear on. She was sitting on my side of the bed, sniffing my discarded top. I sat next to her and held her close. I thought that now was as good a time as any to give her the present I'd made for her. I put on some jeans and pulled it out from under the bed.
She flicked through the photo album. It took me ages to complete, trying to track down every single photo that I wanted. The final few photos were of our wedding, I watched her smile as she remembered. My favourite one was taken over my shoulder, when she was shoving cake in my face. The expression she wore was so cute and cheeky.
She closed the album, and moved so that she was straddling me. She kissed me tenderly at first, eventually getting more passionate and reaching down to undo my jeans. I didn't have the heart to stop her. She pushed me so that I was laying flat, and she took off her underwear and climbed straight on.
She lay beside me, out of breath. "I think I needed that," she said.
I looked at her and smiled. "You know I can never say no to you when you're like that."
She laughed. "You can never say no to me anyway. Just like I can't say no to you half the time."
I rolled over so that I was laying on my side, and pulled her towards me, just to see if she would say no. She didn't, and we went again, but more gently this time, more lovingly. This time I was on top and in control. I kissed her slowly, all over her body. She reached around and stroked my back and my shoulders, her nails occasionally digging in when I did something she liked.
She was fast asleep about an hour later. I was sure nothing in the world could disturb her. I picked up the photo album and looked through it again, smiling at the memories that came to the surface. The first photograph was a random Quidditch one. I watched her zoom around on her broom, eventually scoring a goal. The next one was from our first date. I'd dragged her all around Hogsmeade in the freezing cold, convinced that I'd seen some mistletoe somewhere. Three hours looking for an excuse to kiss her. Eventually she'd rolled her eyes and kissed me instead. It had turned out we were standing under mistletoe at the time anyway. I turned the page. Another winter one, this time we were walking around the lake in the snow. I was showing off, telling her that the ice covering the lake would support us both. It didn't, and I fell in. She'd spent the entire afternoon laughing at me. The next one was a drawing, actually Charlie had drawn it one Potions lesson, the time we were basically doing nothing and held hands under the desk. There was the time I fell off my broom at the end of a Quidditch match and she was instantly right there beside me. There was another Quidditch match where our teams were playing against each other and she just had this look on her face that said "I'm going to beat you." Of course, her team won that match. There were photos from the end of year party at Hogwarts, and of course, our wedding. The rest of the pages were blank, waiting to be filled. I looked at her, sleeping peacefully. I decided to get my camera. I had a new polaroid one, modelled on the muggle version but obviously producing moving pictures. I took a quick photo of her while she was sleeping, and waited for the photo to develop.
It was funny, I could swear she hadn't moved while the photo was being taken, but in the photo, she stuck her fingers up at the camera. I stifled a laugh. It was just like her. I put it in the album, and got back into bed next to her, and went to sleep.
In my dreams I was in a completely different place. I was back at Hogwarts, back in a time where Emily never even knew I existed. My mind whizzed through the memories, and slowed down at the day we broke up. She completely humiliated me in front of everyone, and of course I deserved it. The sharp slap she had given me echoed through my mind. The memories sped up again, I was watching her flirt with Charlie in Potions, then we were having sex in the Quidditch bathrooms, then we were talking about our relationship.
"I'm sorry," she was saying, "I can't be with you again."
My worst fear. I'd driven her away and she didn't want to come back again. I knew these weren't real memories, but they felt it. In this version, I had to watch her with Charlie. Kissing him. Holding his hand in the corridors. Watching them sneak off somewhere to have sex. Watching him comfort her as she lay on the floor, injured after Quidditch. Watching him marry her. Watching her look at him, the way she looked at me.
Her voice was echoing in my head, getting louder and louder. Saying my name.
Suddenly I woke up. I was sweaty, she was sat next to me, looking worried.
"You were talking in your sleep," she said.
"Oh," I said, sitting up.
She was looking at me suspiciously. "You were saying my name, and shouting 'no' a lot."
I sighed. It was time she knew that I hadn't completely put the notion of her and Charlie behind me after all. Of course I was almost driven mad with jealously when they were flirting, and still jealous for a while afterwards, when she chose to sit with him and not me, but I'd worked on that because she deserved it.
I told her about my dream. She told me she loved me, and that's why she'd chosen me over him.
I considered that. She was looking at me like she loved me. My dream felt a bit stupid now.
We laid back down and I put my arm around her, and she put her head on my chest and we went back to sleep.
When I woke up, she was gone. Before I could begin to panic, she walked in with breakfast.
"Morning sleepy," she smiled, and pulled open the curtains, letting the sun shine through. She looked so beautiful in the morning light. She crawled back into bed next to me. I just stared at her stupidly for a few minutes. She noticed, rolled her eyes and buttered me a piece of toast.
"Are you going to keep staring at me all day or do you have things to do?" she asked cheekily.
"Well, I could go and do things… or I could stare at you all day," I said. "I could get a job, but then that cuts into our valuable sex time."
She smiled, and got up. "Come on, get dressed. We're going for a walk."
We wandered around the village, and both realised how little we knew about the place we lived; we just spent all our time indoors. We found ourselves at a beach and settled there for the day. It was nice being somewhere where we were completely anonymous. She was laying with her head in my lap, her eyes closed, enjoying the sun. She didn't know I was staring at her. How could I not?
After a while she opened her eyes and saw me staring down at her. She smiled, and reached up to stroke my face. I love the colour her eyes are in the sun, like melted chocolate with caramel running through. I moved my face to kiss her hand, and then went back to looking at her.
I'd never get used to her looking at me like she loved me. I'd never get used to being with her every day, spending all my time with her. I doubt any artist could conceive of anything so flawless and perfect. In my eyes, she's the only woman in the world.
As if she could read my mind, she reached up to kiss me, and we disapparated back to the house.