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Chapter 3 : Cho Cunning Chang
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Dean Thomas ran furtively through the darkness of Knockturn Alley. He knew what he was doing was wrong but he had no other choice. He had to be an artist no matter what. His mum and step-dad didn’t exactly have the kind of money to support him through his dreams of being an artist so this was the only way to keep it going.
He kept his eyes peeled for any passing Aurors or members of the Hit Squad. He couldn’t be caught. He wouldn’t be caught if he did it right. The person said to meet him on the corner of Borgin and Burke’s and he would simply have to hand over the package and escape without being seen.
Dealing classified plants had turned out to be a lot easy that he previously thought. There were rumours that he was dealing drugs, but he would never do something as serious as that. Only people like Mundungus Fletcher went that low. All he did was deal seeds and cuttings for plants which weren’t available in this country. Apparently it was a very popular area and the pay was good, so Dean couldn't complain.
He wasn’t even sure who this person was who he was meant to be meeting, he thought nervously, whilst hurrying down the darkened path. It could be anyway, a former Death Eater, a common crook or a potential murderer. Some called his actions stupid, but he needed to carry on doing it. He needed to succeed. Besides, Gryffindors always did stupid, reckless things like this.
When he reached the corner of where he was meant to be meeting the person, he could already make out their silhouette.
“Have you got the money then,” Dean asked furtively.
“Yes,” announced a voice he recognised. The person stepped into a beam of light emitted from a lamppost nearby, and he nearly let out a cry of shock when he saw who it was.
“Cho Chang? What are you doing here?”
“Well, other than buying illegal plants which I could blackmail you with in the future, I’ve got a proposition for you,” she announced. Dean’s nerves grew with the mention of a proposition. He knew that dealing illegal plants wasn’t the most normal thing, but the sound of proposition terrified him a little. What was she expecting him to do? “Did you happen to catch the cover of this morning’s Prophet?”
“Yeah, I did actually. Something about Michael Corner settling down for a while as he’d been spotted with the same girl for two nights in a row. Why?”
“Yes, and did you happen to catch which girl he was with,” Cho shrieked. Blimey, he knew that Cho’s temper was a bit temperamental but Dean didn’t realise it was this bad.
“No, I was running a bit late so I only caught the headline. Who was it?” He knew he shouldn’t be asking this given the state Cho was in, but he couldn’t figure out why she was so bothered by this.
“IT WAS LAVENDER BROWN!” Cho wailed while stamping her foot on the ground. “My supposed friend went and stabbed me in the back and is dating my ex. How do you think that made me feel? No, don’t bother answering you’re only a boy, you can’t understand the abound of emotions I am currently feeling.”
Cho continued to mutter to herself, speaking so fast that the words formed an incoherent noise leaving Dean standing there perplexed.
“So what was your proposition,” Dean asked, hoping that would stop the angry mutterings.
“I want you to date me. Lavender’s already gone for the womaniser, so I have to go for a different type of bad boy and I choose you. You’re the hippy, liberal one so it won’t reflect too badly on me. If you don’t agree, I’ll go to the Auror office and tell them about your illegal plant business.”
She should be called Cho Cunning Chang with a plan this well laid out, Dean thought. “Fine, I’ll do it.” He would always choose his art over Azkaban, even if it meant dating someone with eyes which looked like they could burn through him.
“Excellent. I have a few rules before we are seen in public together,” Cho Cunning Chang announced. “Rule number one, you will keep your mindless monologues to a minimum. They say nothing of worth wastes energy which could be spent productively, so abide by that rule. Rule number two, I like being intellectually stimulated so every time you see me you must provide a fun fact. Those two should suffice for now but I retain the right to edit and add other rules when necessary.”
Cho ruffled around in her bag and produced a slightly torn piece of parchment and forced it into Dean’s hands. “This is the contract of our relationship. It states exactly what I said, but due to it being legally binding if you choose to ignore any of its criteria you will face legal proceedings. I am clear?”
He knew that intellects had to compensate for their intelligence levels with a lower level of social skills, but what Cho was forcing him to do made him feel like cattle. Then again, being forced to explain why he had a modified version of the Chinese Chomping Cabbage when it was banned in the UK would be pretty hard too.
“Crystal clear.” Dean pulled a spare quill out of his cloak before having the parchment snatched away from him.
“I need to make an amendment. I’m not overtly keen on clichés and alliteration bothers me when used too much, so you’ll have to stop doing it,” she said while scribbling away at the piece of parchment. “I have to attend a Ministry event in two days’ time. Be there at seven o’clock sharp. Look smart, and I may not reveal your secret.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Dean replied grimly while being handed the newly annotated piece of parchment. Running away from his magical life and becoming a Muggle sounded a lot more preferable right now.
Cho tapped her foot against the marble floor of the Ministry. She knew dating Dean Thomas was a bad idea. First of all, he was an artist, and they could never arrive on time to anywhere. Secondly, he only ranked fifteenth out of fifty on Britain’s Most Eligible Wizards, well below Michael and Harry.
Finally, he was friends with Harry so there was a chance this may get back to him, and Harry may think Cho was cheating on him.
She cast her eyes over to the door and saw him hurrying through the entrance door. His shirt wasn’t tucked in, his hair was so messy it looked like he had just got out of bed and he had crumbs round his mouth.
“You are late, you look scruffy and you need to give me a fun fact,” Cho demanded once Dean had walked over.
“Sorry about that, I got caught up in the studio. Your fun fact today is that it’s been proved that Hufflepuffs are forty per cent more likely to developed stress related mental illnesses due to them always wanting to please people.” Dean grinned when saying this. Cho didn’t know why he was so happy; the article about that had been published over a year ago.
“I already know that fact, so you’ll have to try harder next time otherwise your secret may just slip out,” Cho replied. “Come on, we have to circulate.”
Cho led Dean around the room, eyeing each person very carefully. Normally, she would be looking for the ebony locks of hair owned by Harry in her quest for regaining his heart, but today another hair colour was on the agenda. The faded blonde of Lavender Brown.
She hurried through the crowds of people, pushing and shoving them out of her away. Sometimes she even had to resort to hissing at them to make them move. After all, her nickname wasn’t the Hungarian Horntail for nothing. Finally catching sight of Lavender’s curls bobbing up and down, Cho hurried over to her.
“How dare you steal my ex?” Cho screamed at the girl who was currently applying her fifth layer of foundation of the hour.
“What do you mean?” Lavender simpered back while snapping her hand mirror shut.
“Michael of course! Or are you that dim-witted that you don’t understand?” Cho began waving her arms and stamping her feet. She remembered reading in her Muggle book on psychology that this would make her opponent fearful and allow her to win the battle.
“Hey, just because I did Divination up to N.E.W.T. level does not make me dumb. I prefer the term spiritually aware. If you become like that it will allow you to focus on your goal of gaining Harry rather than wasting your energy on this. It’s blocking the energy to your chakras so you could develop an illness,” Lavender said soothingly.
“Blocking my energy to what?” Without waiting for a reply Cho carried on talking at torpedo speed. “Never mind, it’s probably something which doesn’t have any basis with logic and is, therefore, null. Like you frankly.”
The spectacle the pair of them had been producing had attracted a crowd of people, and Cho’s last comment caused them to hiss and boo almost as if it were a pantomime.
“AH! THAT’S IT CHO CHANG!” Lavender yelled at her. “We are now at war!”
With that announcement Lavender strode over to Cho and attempted to attack her. Cho merely laughed at her before flicking out her wand and shooting the jelly legs jinx at her. The crowd was now divided, each one egging on the other.
The people began to close in on them. Cho almost wanted to turn her temper on them, because being in a claustrophobic situation did nothing for battle techniques. Cho raised her wand and cast a nifty spell she had invented herself which caused a tickling sensation in the sole of the victim’s feet.
“STOP!” a voice cried out, but Cho deliberately decided to ignore it. She would not allow something silly like that distract her from her task. A tingling feeling appeared all over her body, and Cho found herself unable to move or speak and was forced to stand there motionless.
Neville Longbottom stormed in front of the pair of them, and Cho realised that he was the one who cried out. He put his hands on his hips and pouted his lips. She tried to laugh at his attempts of looking macho but her facial muscles were frozen, so the contorted expression she had remained on.
“You two are under arrest for disorderly conduct in a public area. Hexing and Muggle fighting is not tolerated and is considered as an assault. Guards, take them away.” A smug expression was fixed upon Neville’s face when the guards marched over to them and lifted them up.
As Cho was carried from the room she longed to hiss at him. She would get her revenge on Neville as well as Lavender and Ginny. Plus that Muggle psychology book was going in the bin. Being arrested did not equate to winning a battle in Cho’s mind.
A/N: You may have noticed I changed this to a short story instead of a collection of them. I did it because it was a lot more fun to focus on the Cho/Lavender debacle! I anticipate that there will be one possibly two more chapters to this madness :P I would love to hear your thoughts, so I would appreciate a review ♥
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