Chapter 23 : Writing History
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However, I do have an announcement! I actually have a new novel on my author’s page! It is titled Hallowed, and it is also an Ignotus-centered fic, but it is basically what would have happened if Dominique hadn’t come to 1234. So it’s more focused on the Deathly Hallows, and would of course be more realistic, but I like to be imaginative here. :P So for those of you who aren’t ready to be finished with Ignotus and his story, feel free to check out Hallowed and let me know what you think! Without Dominique, this does of course mean that Hallowed will be Ignotus/Brigid. ;)
With all that said, here’s chapter 23! I can’t believe I’m nearing the end! Again, a huge thank you to everyone who has followed this story thus far and who has read, favorited, and reviewed! You guys are great!
gorgeous chapter image by Jayce @ TDA
- 1234 -
"But what will you do, Ignotus?" asked Edmund a week after the Peverell Manor had burnt to the ground.
He and Ignotus sat in the sitting room of Edmund's home, debating what Ignotus was supposed to do from here.
It had been five days since they had placed Eirene Peverell in the ground, and they were the saddest, most miserable five days Ignotus had experienced.
Edmund had asked him where Dominique had gone and if she would be returning, but the only answer he ever got was that she was gone and wouldn't be coming back. Edmund didn't understand this, but he respected his friend's privacy and didn't ask any further. He understood that his friend had lost so much. His brothers, his home, his mother, and the only woman he had ever loved. Edmund also new from the way his friend acted that Dominique was also the only woman he ever would love.
Ignotus had told his friend that he loved her only a few days ago after Edmund's persistent questions as to why Ignotus appeared to devastated to have Dominique gone. Edmund had noticed that there was more going on than just the sadness and mourning of his mother. There was something else, and so Ignotus had shared how he loved Dominique as long as Edmund promised not to tell a soul.
Edmund had taken it upon himself to house all those that had been visiting or lived at the Peverell Manor at the time of the fire. Jocosa, Edric, Brigid, and Tyrion. They were all in Edmund's care until the next step could be taken.
It was late and everyone had long ago retired to their chambers, and it was during this hour when Ignotus and Edmund took the precious time they were given to discuss the things no one else should hear.
"I do not know what I will do, Edmund," sighed Ignotus as he sat in a chair by the fire, a cup of ale in his hand.
"You could look for Dominique," suggested Edmund.
"I cannot," groaned Ignotus. "You do not understand. She is gone and cannot come back. There is no point in looking. I know where she is, and I cannot go there."
"How do you know where she is? If you know, that is a start. There is always a way," encouraged Edmund.
"It is not that simple. You do not understand, Edmund!" declared Ignotus, his voice rising as his patience grew short.
"If I do not understand, then tell me my friend. Tell me so that I may understand," said Edmund in a soothing voice.
"You would not believe me," huffed Ignotus under his breath as he ran his hands through his long, dark hair.
"I will believe anything you say," he encouraged again. "You are my best friend, and you are in pain. I want to help you, but you must tell me the truth."
Ignotus thought about it. He thought on what it would be like to tell Edmund, to finally share the truth with another person other than Dominique and to get their honest opinion. He hadn't told anyone about the cloak or his encounter with Death because he and his brother had agreed not to. Then even after their deaths, he didn't share because he believed the cause of their deaths to be due to the Hallows. He thought he had to protect the cloak, and it would be best protected when no one knew about it. But now he liked the idea of sharing with Edmund, and Edmund had always been a true friend. He would help.
So he agreed. He told Edmund everything. From the very beginning. He told him of their encounter with Death at the valley, his offer, and the gifts they received in return. Ignotus could tell when Edmund experienced moments of disbelief, but he continued to sit in perfect silence as Ignotus told his story. He shared that Death had tricked them, that he had claimed the lives of his brothers as Death should have done in their crossing of the valley. He told him that Death was after him now and that the house fire had been one of Death's attempts on his life. He even showed him the words that Death had burnt into his arm when he went into his burning home at his attempt to save his mother. The words were still clear as day on his skin, bright red, and Ignotus knew that they would be there for the rest of his life.
And then he told him about Dominique. He told him where she was from and how she got here. From 2022. And how she had returned to 2022 again when she discovered his betrothal to Brigid.
"I see now how you have no way of finding her again," said Edmund sincerely. "I am deeply sorry."
"It is not your fault," said Ignotus. "It is mine for thinking I could be so foolish as to keep my betrothal a secret from everyone."
"Will you marry her?"
"Marry Brigid?" asked Ignotus. "I should think not now. The only reason it took me so long to end my betrothal was because of my mother. She is gone now, and Death is after me. He always will be. I cannot put Brigid in such danger. I know what I must do. I must live my life under my cloak, and she cannot follow me. Even further, I gave my heart to Dominique completely long ago. I have no love left to give to Brigid. I will hold onto my heart in the hopes that, one day, maybe she will return to me. And when she does, I will not make the same mistake twice continuing a betrothal I have no intention of fulfilling. I will have to tell Edric I cannot marry his daughter."
"It may take some explaining, but I believe he will understand," said Edmund.
"When I tell him it is for his daughter's own safety, yes, I believe he will understand," nodded Ignotus.
"When will you tell him?"
"As soon as I can," he answered. "Tomorrow. I cannot continue to put the lives of those I care about at risk. I will tell them tomorrow, and then I shall leave Godric's Hollow. Permanently."
"Leave?" gasped Edmund. "But you cannot! You have lived here your entire life. You have...I am here."
"I know you are, my friend," smiled Ignotus, "and yes, I have lived here and loved here. But I have also lost here. I have no home and no family. And I cannot put your life at risk because you have sheltered. I would never forgive myself if I lost you as well. You must understand, Edmund."
"I do..." answered Edmund desolately. "I simply wish it did not have to be like this."
"As do I."
"But the villagers. What will they think? They have seen you lose everything in your possession, and now you will flee. Some believe the Peverell name has been cursed. When they hear you have fled, they will certainly believe you have associated yourself with Dark Magic."
Ignotus had heard these rumors as well. His family had suffered too much misfortune for the village to not think the Peverell name had been cursed, and in a way they were right. Not like they thought, of course. But Ignotus believed that Death, indeed, acted upon him and his family in such a way of being cursed, and Ignotus would most certainly consider their gifts from Death as items of Dark Magic.
"Let them believe what they will," said Ignotus. It didn’t matter to him what the village thought. He would leave and that would be the end of his time in Godric’s Hollow. They wouldn’t find him; how could they when he possessed a cloak of invisibility? Therefore, their opinion meant very little to him. Only a few things mattered to him now. The safety of his last living family member, Tyrion, the safety of his friends, and doing his absolute best to get Dominique back. He just didn’t know where to begin on that last front.
“Your name will be whispered in the streets,” said Edmund in a low voice as if his comment would change Ignotus’ mind.
“Then let it be,” said Ignotus again. “If people wish to think me as a user of Dark Magic, then they will do so regardless of what I say or do to change it. People will not believe me if I say I have not associated myself with Dark Magic.”
“They could believe me,” suggested Edmund.
“Perhaps,” mused Ignotus, “but many know you are my dearest friend. Some may think you would even say anything to for me.”
“They would be right,” admitted Edmund with a hint of a smile, “but that fact aside, let me do what I can to let the Peverell name live on in a good light.”
“Very well,” agreed Ignotus. “Do what you wish. You know my story; share it if you want. People may believe you, people may think you a fool, or people may think my brothers and I to be fools. But no matter what they think, they will know of the valley, and if the story means anything to them, then they shall stay away from that valley. Perhaps a life could be saved in knowing my story.”
“When you have fled, I will share your story,” said Edmund positively. “They shall know your story. I promise. The story of you and your brothers, of Death and condemning gifts.”
Ignotus watched him as the words formed on his mouth. Edmund seemed to be in deep thought, as if searching for something, a word or a title as Ignotus continued to watch him. “A tale. The Peverell Tale. The Tale of the Three Brothers.”
Ignotus tried to keep his expression blank, but he could feel a small look of shock spreading across his face. Ignotus had heard that title from Dominique before. Both The Tale of the Three Brothers and the Deathly Hallows. They were his events in history that had been given a name when he still hadn’t known exactly what he and his brothers had gotten themselves into that day on the bridge. He had been shocked to hear his events given a title when he had first heard them from Dominique, and since that moment, he hadn’t forgotten them. Then to hear Edmund say one of them was something truly amazing in itself. It wasn’t that he had doubted Dominique a single second while she had been with him, but it was rather the fact of knowing that he was watching events unfold before his very eyes that would shape history for at least the next 800 years to come.
Edmund had thought up the story title. What else did that mean? Was Edmund the very writer of the tale that Dominique had read in the children’s book she had told Ignotus about? He thought on it. Perhaps he was, but then again, Dominique had mentioned the author of the story. It had been Beedle something or other; he couldn’t quite remember. But like Ignotus had watched history unfold before his eyes, he had faith that history would continue to do the same as time passed. Perhaps Edmund was the true origin of the story and the story would be told in words until it reached Beedle and he put it into writing. It was an interesting thought, and one that he wanted to so positively believe.
So Ignotus nodded and gave his friend a smile. “The Tale of the Three Brothers. I like that.”
The following day seemed to go by all too slow for Ignotus. The only thing he could think about was what he told himself had to be accomplished by the end of the day. He had to tell Edric and Brigid that he would be breaking off their engagement. He knew this task was something that had to wait until the end of the day. He couldn’t image how awkward or miserable a situation he would make if he were to give the Pellinors this news early on in the day and then have to spend the rest of the day with them.
Night was soon falling. He, Tyrion, Edmund, the Pellinors, and Jocosa were finishing had finished their dinner, and Ignotus could tell they would soon be retiring to their own chambers for the night. He had to act quickly, despite the knots in his stomach that were now constantly churning and gave him an uneasy feeling. He knew he had paled, and he had unintentionally attracted the attention of both Jocosa and Brigid. They had asked him what was the matter, but of course, he had to shake them off as if nothing was the matter.
Ignotus had Edric’s nightly routine memorized. He would finish dinner, laugh at the table with his companions for a good half hour, and then he would retreat to the sitting room where he would sit by the fire with a mug or two of ale. It was when Edric was starting his second mug of ale did Ignotus know his time was upon him. He left those at the table to join Edric in the sitting room.
He gave him a cheerful smile when he saw Ignotus set himself in the chair next to him.
“Ignotus, my boy,” greeted Edric kindly. “You are braving this fight you are struggling with. I see it in your eyes every day.”
“Thank you,” said Ignotus as he accepted the compliment. “It continues to be a struggle every day, but then again, it always will be, will it not? The ones we love can never be replaced. I have lost far too many.”
“Indeed you have,” mused Edric sadly as he took a gulp of his ale.
“My Lord,” began Ignotus, “there is something you must know. I have thought about it for some time, and my decision truly pains me, but I believe it is something I must do.”
“Go on then, son,” encouraged Edric. “Do not begin and leave it there. Tell me.”
“I am leaving Godric’s Hollow,” admitted Ignotus. He turned to look at Edric’s stunned expression, but he didn’t stop there. He didn’t want to face Edric’s questions. He had to explain, and then, if Edric had questions, he would hear them then. “I am leaving for reasons I cannot explain. I have lost everyone I ever loved because of these reasons. I cannot bear to lose another I may come to love, and so I face the only decision possible to leave Godric’s Hollow and lead a life alone.”
“Leave my Brigid?” asked Edric in a low and slow voice.
Ignotus didn’t like the look he was receiving from Edric, but he did his best to hold his ground. He swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “Yes,” he answered. “A consequence of this decision is to leave your daughter as well.”
“I have loved you like a son, Ignotus,” said Edric kindly, but there was still a tone of hurt and confusion in his voice. “Brigid may very well love you now as well, and you intend to just leave her?”
“I told you, Lord Pellinor,” said Ignotus painfully. “This is something I must do. Leaving your daughter is not a choice, but a punishment.”
“Then what reasons are these? Reasons so great that you will leave Godric’s Hollow and my daughter?” snapped Edric.
Ignotus blanched at his outburst. He had never seen Edric’s loving, kind, and cheerful façade break through. This was an entirely new Edric; but then again, Ignotus was having to tell the man that he was abandoning the thing Edric Pellinor loved most in the world. Edric only wanted what was best for his daughter.
“I cannot share these reasons; you must only understand,” said Ignotus humbly. “Please.”
Edric said nothing, and so Ignotus took it upon himself to convince him further. “If I do not leave Godric’s Hollow and your daughter, her life would be in constant danger. I could not bear that! I could not bear to lose another because of my past.”
“You are saying that you have made this decision, believing it to be the best course of safety for my daughter?” asked Edric, his voice very slow and clearly in deep thought.
“Yes,” said Ignotus, “of course. She will never be safe when she is with me. I must do this, Lord Pellinor.”
Edric pursed his lips, and Ignotus wondered what he would say next. Then the gentle man finally nodded. “Then I must have no choice but to accept your rescinding betrothal – “
“Oh, thank you, my Lord,” breathed Ignotus. “Thank you for understanding. I – “
“But, Ignotus,” said Edric quickly, “you must tell me. If you are in such grave danger, is there no way I can help you?”
Ignotus bit his lip. “No, my Lord. Thank you for asking, but no. No one can help me now.”
“When will you leave?”
“As soon as I have tied all loose ends,” said Ignotus. “Will you still look after Tyrion? Where I go, he cannot follow.”
“Of course,” said Edric in a whisper. “He is dear to us. We will always care for him and look after him. He shall continue his apprenticeship with me until he begins Hogwarts in a year.”
“Thank you, my Lord,” said Ignotus again, and he moved to rise.
When he stood, though, Edric stopped him. “Oh, but Ignotus?”
“Yes, my Lord?”
“You may be the one to tell Brigid,” said Edric sternly. “I cannot understand why you are doing this, but if you believe this decision to be what is best for my daughter’s safety, then I can do nothing but agree. You, however, are the one who will break her heart. It may be your duty to tell her yourself before you leave Godric’s Hollow.”
Ignotus felt all his uneasiness return. It dropped into his stomach, weighing him down, and he felt himself grow sick. He thought he had gotten the worst part out of the way. He knew Edric would be a great obstacle to overcome, and actually, he had given in easier than Ignotus had thought he would, but he hadn’t even considered the idea that Edric would make it his responsibility to tell Brigid himself.
He felt himself choke on his anxiety, but he finally opened his mouth, his voice cracking. “Y-Yes, my Lord.”
And with that he dismissed himself. Unfortunately though, the night was not over for him now as he had hoped it would be. He had another task put before him, and he wished to leave in the morning at the very latest. He had to tell Brigid now. He braved himself for another difficult task, knowing that Edric was most certainly right; Brigid cared for him. She may even love him now, just as he said, and now Ignotus would go and break her heart. He hated himself for that, but he reminded himself of why he was doing this. He had to keep everyone safe. All those he loved, and he reminded himself of his love for Dominique. How he felt when he was with her, how he would always feel when he was with her, and he put his trust into something else, into something so much larger than himself. Faith. He put his love and trust into the faith and hope that one day Dominique would return to him, and when she did, he would be ready for her.
He knew it was late and that it was highly inappropriate for him to show up at Brigid’s chambers as the night grew later, but this was something he had to do. He weaved his way through the halls of Edmund’s home until he came upon the room where Brigid was staying.
He was grateful for the small amount of light that lit the wood floors of the hall from the threshold of the door. The unextinguished flame was a sign that she was still awake. Mustering his courage, he sucked in a deep breath and raised a fist to knock on the door.
He could tell she was surprised, for her voice was higher than normal with a touch of curiosity and confusion to it. “Hello?”
“Lady Brigid,” said Ignotus, his voice clenching in his throat as he swallowed, “it is I. I must speak with you.”
“It is late, my Lord,” said Brigid from the other side of the door in surprise. “Can it not wait till morning? I have already taken off my day gown.”
“It cannot wait,” he said, his head bowing as he stared at the small amount of gold light. “Robe yourself and allow me in.”
“My father would disapprove, Ignotus…” said Brigid. Ignotus could tell something was different in her voice this time. Her surprise had faded and was instead replaced with that side of her that her father most certainly didn’t know about: her desire to break the norms of what a woman of her age and status was expected to do. Ignotus could sense the tone in her voice that said she wished for him to be in there, but it was only her father keeping them apart.
Ignotus hoped he wasn’t giving her the wrong impression, but he continued to convince her that his entrance would be perfectly acceptable. “Your father knows I am here.”
“Oh,” she said in surprise.
“Let me in, my Lady,” whispered Ignotus gently.
“Yes, Ignotus,” she answered sweetly. Ignotus could then hear her shuffling within the room. He saw the light on the floor flicker as her shadow distorted the golden glow. The door was soon opening, and Ignotus looked up to see Brigid smiling sweetly up to him, her nightgown covered by a gold robe. “Come in.”
He gave her his thanks as she stepped aside and granted him entrance. He could tell how nervous and confused she was, for the expression on her face was none like he had ever seen from her. She held her robe carefully over her body, hiding her nightgown and figure from him. She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and diverted her gaze to the floor.
“This is inappropriate, my Lord,” said Brigid under her breath. Ignotus knew he was making her uncomfortable, despite her fun and thrilling personality when they were outdoors. Ignotus knew the side of her he had briefly seen upon their meeting was a side of her that only emerged when she was positive that they were completely and utterly alone. She was only carefree when she knew she wouldn’t be get in trouble for her actions, but when she faced the chance of getting caught, Ignotus had learned that she was an entirely different person.
Now, to Brigid, this was clearly one of the times where she knew her father would be aware of their situation and the inappropriateness of it. She had to be as proper and lady-like as possible if she didn’t want to get in trouble with her father.
But Ignotus didn’t want that from her. Not now when he had something so vital to share with her. He didn’t want Brigid to have to worry about Edric getting angry with Brigid for inappropriateness. When Ignotus would share this pivotal piece of information with Brigid, he wanted nothing to distract Brigid from their conversation at hand. This included Edric and Brigid’s desire to follow her father’s rules.
“This may be, but I must speak with you. Alone, and now,” said Ignotus. “Pay your father no mind while I am in your chambers with you.”
“But he would be furious if he knew I was only in my robe!” gasped Brigid.
“He knows I must speak with you. He does not need to know you were in your robe,” said Ignotus again.
He wondered when he had become more laid back about the rules and what was considered proper. He assumed this was a change he had undergone while with Dominique. She did that to him; she set him free of the chains that bound him to what was proper and what was expected of him. He knew, if it hadn’t been for her, perhaps he would be as uncomfortable and embarrassed as Brigid.
But he found that that wasn’t the case. He moved about her chambers comfortably, and he sat himself on her bed. He patted the space next to him and gestured for her to come. Uneasily, she did so.
She pulled her robe tighter and finally cleared her throat. “What is it that is so urgent?”
That was when he felt his anxiety return. He just wanted to turn in the other direction and leave Brigid and the life he knew behind. But he couldn’t do that to her. He owed her more than that. So he swallowed and, shaking, he reached over and took her hand into his own. He gave it a gentle squeeze, mustering a pathetic smile.
“You know you are dear to me,” he said gently.
“I did not,” said Brigid surprisingly. Ignotus gave her a reproachful look, but he watched her as her expression softened and she continued. “I could only assume I was dear to you. I had never heard you say such a thing to me.”
“I know I have never said such a thing to you,” he said sweetly. “I have always been paranoid with the understanding that I must be respectable and honorable, and keeping one’s emotions to one’s self is one of the expected things of men in our time. But I know now that this moment may be my only chance to tell you that you are dear to me.”
“Your only chance?” she asked, her brow pulling together. She squeezed his hand lovingly. “But you and I shall spend a lifetime together. You have so many chances.”
He shook his head. “I do not, and it pains me to tell you, Brigid, that…I will not be marrying you.”
Brigid went still. Ignotus wondered if she was even breathing. Finally she pulled her hands from his and backed away from him. She gave him a look that tore Ignotus’ heart apart, shattered it even more and damaged him even further than he already was. He hated himself in that moment; he reminded himself of why he was doing this.
“You must be lying,” whispered Brigid.
“I am not,” he said. “I am truly sorry, Brigid. I do this with the understanding that this is the best decision for you. You will never be safe if you are near me.”
Brigid rose from her spot beside him and began to pace. She tossed her hands into the air and spun around. “What are you talking about, Ignotus?! I am safe when I am with you! I have never felt safer in my life!”
Ignotus groaned and rubbed his forehead. “No, no, no,” he begged. “Please, do not say such things. You do not feel safer around me; you cannot feel safer around me.”
“But I do,” admitted Brigid. “It may be foolish and silly, but I do. You are a young man who is courageous and strong. I have seen you shoot an arrow after only a second’s glance of aim! I have seen you wield a sword. I’ve seen you transform from a boy into a man! Of course I feel safe around you.”
“But you are not!” he said quickly. He rose from his spot as well and began to pace. “You are not, Brigid. I cannot tell you, but you must understand! You are in danger when you are around me.”
“I do not care,” said Brigid quickly. She ran forward and grabbed his hands again. She squeezed them tight, and she forgot about how embarrassed she was upon his entrance into her room. She hardly noticed it anymore; none of that mattered. “I do not care if I am in danger. I just want to be with you. I am lucky, Ignotus. Truly lucky. I have never known a woman who has married a man so young, so noble, so brave, and so handsome. I am so lucky to be your betrothed.”
“I cannot,” he said desperately, shaking his head. If Brigid wouldn’t let it go with just knowing that she was in danger with him, then he would have to tell her the truth. The truth that he would never love her.
“Please, Ignotus,” she cried. “I want to marry you. I want to marry you, I want to be Lady Peverell, I want to bear your children, I want to love you!”
“Please, Brigid, I cannot!” he begged, pained by her desperation to be with him.
“And why not?!” she demanded to know.
The words he blurted next fell from his mouth before he could think twice, before he could even consider what he was saying. “Because I will never love you!”
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