"What the bloody hell do you mean you don't know?" I was absolutely furious. I didn't find Dorcas at all last night, and now Lily tells me she has no clue where she is.
"Stop yelling at Lily, Sirus! She would tell you if she knew," Marlene said in defense.
"Shut up, Marlene, no one asked you," I interrupted. God, why was she even there?
"Oh don't you come to my defense now, you bitch," Lily spat. The four of us shared glances in confusion at Lily's behavior.
"Now what is everyone upset about!" The two fiery girls crossed their arms and looked down at the floor. Alice started fiddling with her fingers and glared ferociously at Marlene.
"Someone needs to explain what's going on," James said, clearly not taking the fact that Lily was hiding something from him well.
"Don't look at us, mate," Peter defended quickly. "We don't know anything either."
"Yeah, this is some chick thing," I reassured him. The three girls looked up at me, pretty pissed off about something.
"Listen, Black, it's not some chick thing or whatever you want to call it. Just don't equate us with her," Lily said, pulling Alice away from Marlene.
"Just shut up! For once Evans! God can Alice even speak anymore?" Marlene tugged Alice closer to her, but not before Alice stepped away from both of them quickly.
"She's right, Lily, I'm not a damn puppet," she said to Lily, then turning to Marlene, " And you! No matter how much I'm mad at Lily it's nothing compared to what you've done," she screeched, stepping towards Marlene with her wand drawn. The girls have officially gone mental. I saw a couple students from the other tables look over to us at the sound of raised voices.
"Maybe you guys should calm down," I suggested, even though James was shaking his head vigorously while backing away with Peter and Remus. Lily turned to glare at me, leaving Marlene and Alice to their own devices.
"Oh, so you all can raise hell and satan with it whenever you please but we have to wait for your permission?" She stared at me with those large eyes, and I swear they flickered red for a minute.
"I'm sure Sirius was just looking out for you three," Remus interjected as silently as he could.
"Ouch! Alice!" All of our heads whipped around together to face the two girls we completely forgot about. Marlene was on the floor, Alice pulling her hair with a strength I didn't know she possesed. Lily and Frank (who had just appeared, I don't know) tried to pry her off of Marlene, who was near tears if not in them already. James tried to pull Lily out of the line of fire, which wasn't going to end well for him I'm sure. Hestia showed up and asked what was going on, and I'm sure Peter would've explained very nicely had he not taken a hit from Marlene as he was trying to speak.
"Hey!" I heard someone shouting, but unfortunately I think Remus and I were the only ones. He was in just as much shock as I was.
"Shut up you bloody Gryffindors!" Frank had finally managed to restrain Alice, as well as James with Evans. Marlene was desperately searching her head for bald spots, and Hestia was helping Peter up.
"What do you want Weids," I said, turning to the intervener.
"I know where Dorcas is." Everyone's breathing slowed down rather quickly, and the Gryffindor table grew quiet. He took a bite out of his stupid little apple and watched our faces turn from shock to excitement to skepticism.
"She's in the hospital wing. Resting." Lily and James looked to each other, as well as Alice and Frank. Marlene and Hestia started whispering violently and looking rather worried. My face as well as Moony's twisted up in confusion. Resting? That's a lie if I've ever heard one. Plus, Weids' face was just a little too smug for my liking.
"Well what is she resting from," I asked, curling up my hands into fists.
"I-I don't know. She wouldn't tell me." He tossed the apple down onto one of our plates and it disappeared with the rest of the garbage. Remus looked up at him sharply when he stuttered. I guess he realized Nick isn't the type to stutter.
"I think we should head outside. It's very nice today," Remus said rather purposefully. He grabbed Hestia and Peter's arms and started walking out of the Great Hall with Marlene trailing behind Hestia. James and I locked gazes for a second and he motioned his head towards the exit. Alice and Frank had taken lead from Remus and left with him.
"Just go man," I whispered to James, "I have to talk to him." There was going to be a lot more than talking going on, but Evans didn't need to know that. I faced Weids who was motioning and mouthing something to his Ravenclaw friends, completely unaware that I was about to beat his bloody brains out if he didn't tell me what was up with Dorcas. I grabbed his collar and dragged him down the hall as discreetly as I could, and out the door. It's a real good thing that none of the professors were at breakfast on Sunday mornings usually, because we would have been in a whole lot of trouble otherwise.
"I'm not kidding! Put your fucking wand away!" I chuckled darkly at his stupid comment.
"You're yelling at the one with wand, Weids? I thought you were a Ravenclaw." I had stolen his wand on our way outside inconspicuously.
"I really don't know that much about Dorcas. I swear to Merlin, I just know she's in the hospital wing."
"Okay," I said, advancing my wand from his neck to his forehead. "How did she get there?"
"I took her." Wrong choice of words. I lunged at him, and punched him square in the jaw, not looking back once. He fell down to the ground, clutching his jaw with one hand, and clenching his other. I walked towards him again. I actually kind of needed him before he was too mangled to talk. I gave him a hand, holding him in between standing and sitting before I heard his answer.
"Why?" He pulled his hand from my grasp and sat back down, his arms on his knees.
"I don't know," he said exasperatedly. He seemd pretty shaken up too. "I was going up to the Owlery last night, and she was just lying there, all pale like."
"She didn't wake up?"
"No. She doesn't even know I saw her last night."
"Well, what was she doing up there," I asked. She damn well wasn't sending anyone a letter at that time of night. Maybe she was. Girls are bloody mental.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, why was she laying on the floor of the owlery at ten at night," I yelled, patience thinning, and my wand out again.
"Mate, you need to go to some anger counseling or something."
"Answer the question," I growled. He was just plain hard to deal with. He hesitated slightly before speaking again.
"Nothing, she wasn't doing anything. It was just her up there."
"So you mean to tell me that Dorcas was just lying there, on the ground, cold as a rock."
"Cold as a rock," he clarified, nodding agreement. I knew there was still something he wasn't telling me, but he was clearly shut up for the moment. I'd have to talk to Moony about it. He got up to leave, but I grabbed his shoulder before he got too far.
"Listen, Weids. I don't what makes you think you and Dorcas have got some special connection, but you don't. She hasn't forgotten what you've done and neither have I. Thanks for your information, no matter how limited, but stay out of our bussiness. She doesn't want you anymore." He nodded again, his mouth struggling to open and retort until he saw my livid face.
"Alright Black." I tossed his wand back at him, he caught it, and tapped his eyebrow lightly before turning back to the castle. "See you around."
I clenched the paper in my pocket for the third time that morning. I haven't even read it yet, but I just have a bad feeling about it. When it was on the ground next to Doe, I first noticed that the majority of it was scratched out, which must have meant it said something either incriminating or important. Or both.
I've been itching to read it since last night, but I haven't had a chance. I didn't even really sleep. I felt like everyone was watching me. Everytime I played with the edge of the paper, it was like everyone looked at me suspiciously. I probably should have given this to Pomfrey. What was Dorcas hiding from everyone that was so bad? I was probably exaggerating, just like Dorcas. She probably hadn't eaten or something equally as Gryffindor-like as that.
I mean, I love Dorcas; but she was such a Gryffindor. They're so dramatic, and this is a perfect example of one of those times. I mean everyone was completely frazzled over her and it was ridiculous. I've always wondered why she wasn't in Ravenclaw. The Evans girl, you can see clarly why. She's an emotional wreck. But Dorcas, no. She's always been calm, ever so objective, witty, and quick. She may not be the smartest ever but she had so much potential when she was young. I guess it was the whole parents death thing. How the Sorting Hat knew she would be crazy nutty emotional, I'll never know. It seems to know an awful lot more than we do. I don't know, and I don't really care. I do know that I don't give a rat's ass what Sirius thinks about me. All I really want is for Dorcas to get better.
I was in a dream-like state. It was like my limbs moved slowly, numbly through clouds and cotton candy. My nails were trimmed to perfection, even though I haven't taken the time to look at them in about a month. I haven't taken the time to really look at anything about myself in a month, have I? I've been so preoccupied with this whole death, sick, be a saint, Dorcas thing. Or was I? Maybe I was living in the dream before, and this is what reality really felt like. I always thought that would happen one day. I would fall asleep one day and not wake up. But really, I just woke up from a horridly long dream.
No, that couldn't be right, I thought, as I kicked a cloud to the left so I could walk on solid ground, only finding more clouds. Walking around here, it was like I was colorblind. Everything was super vague about this place, like there were no colors. There wasn't a ceiling, no walls or floors, yet I could somehow see the ending to everything. Maybe this was a metaphor for my life. I couldn't see myself being boxed in, shut down, but I knew. I knew it was coming. I knew that I would have to deal with it.
Maybe I could tell Remus. He'd understand the most out of anyone. He wouldn't though. He would want me to tell everyone, like he did. He would think of me as a coward that I wouldn't tell anyone. I could do it, why can't you, he would ask.
But oh I haven't even thought about when I'm supposed to explain this. Merlin, I don't even know how to explain it myself! Where am I anyway? Am I in a dream? I don't really remember falling asleep. As a matter of fact I don't ever remember even laying down. Maybe if I tried really hard I could get up! Ready Dorcas? On the count of three. One, two, three...