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Chapter 2 : Michael Corner
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Michael Corner knew he was some hot stuff. Everyone knew it. He could feel their gazes following him, as he strolled down Diagon Alley. He was headed for The Leaky Cauldron so he could do his evening scout for girls, and he hoped he would be successful. Today hadn’t been a great day at work as he was forced to work through lunch. The meant he had to miss out on his hour long primping and preening session.
He heard a wolf whistle echo behind him and he turned to see some Slytherin he vaguely recognised winking at him. He searched for her name in the long list of women’s ones stored in his brain and finally managed to find an answer. Millicent Bulstrode.
Hmm, she wasn’t bad looking so she would do if he didn’t find anyone in the Leaky Cauldron. If only she didn’t have that massive pimple on the end of her nose, she would have been great. Then again, finding the right woman was part of the game for Michael. He enjoyed the challenge.
He didn’t usually have to work hard to get them. He knew he was irresistible with his sharp blue eyes, permanently tanned skin, thanks to the marvellous Muggle invention of tanning booths, and the way his blonde hair fell in just the right places. He even worked in the Department of Mysteries so that added a certain air to him.
If only it wasn’t for his other blonde enemies Draco Malfoy and Cormac McLaggen. They always had one up on him due to their supposed ‘fame’. Honestly, just because Malfoy had that bad boy turned good look about him, and McLaggen was the reserve keeper of the Appleby Arrows didn’t mean they were worthier than him. Even though he had been a Ravenclaw and a supposed nerd at Hogwarts didn’t mean he was like that anymore.
He was Michael Corner who had brains as well as brawn and beauty. He would beat those two. He would show them who was boss. The power of the raven would triumph over the lion and snake. As he strolled into the dark interior of the pub he liked to think that his bright and awesome personality lit the whole place up. It seemed to have worked as everyone’s eyes turned to him and gave him looks of awe. He was in the spotlight where he belonged.
Michael strolled up to the bar and winked at Hannah Abbott who had recently become a bar maid there. “Alright darling. I’d like a butter beer. Buy yourself a drink too, considering you’re the most beautiful person in the room.” After me of course, he thought smugly.
“Oh Michael, shh we all know that’s not true,” Hannah simpered back. Though she had tentative friendship with Neville, he was nothing compared to Michael, so it was no surprise she flirted back. Michael just oozed everything Neville didn’t.
Michael had already wandered off, so he didn’t even hear her reply. It was probably of little importance. Everything was of little importance when compared to him. His eyes scanned the room and saw Lavender Brown sitting in a booth by herself and she was giving him a come hither look. Hmm, even if the press reported her as mentally unstable he liked to think that someone as good looking as her would be tolerable even if she was deranged.
“Alright, Lav,” Michael asked, slipping into the seat next to her. “You’re looking rather beautiful today.”
“Ooh Michael, stop – it’s not true,” Lavender simpered.
He never got those two things when it came to women. The simpering got annoying so he almost wished he could make a public announcement to all women to tell them to stop it. Then the denying compliments part. They knew it was true and loved to get them, so why deny it? Michael knew he shouldn’t dabble in the complexities of the female brain, it only led to confusion, but he couldn’t help but wonder.
Lavender must have realised that Michael wasn’t going to go down the ‘oh yes you are’ ‘oh no I’m not’ path and swiftly changed the subject. “I have an interesting proposition I would like to discuss with you. I believe it would benefit both of us equally and should give us the chance to pursue what we believe is ours.”
Michael wasn’t sure whether to be more shocked that Lavender actually managed to use her brain or whether there was something that could benefit him. His life was practically perfect. Unless it involved the removal of Draco Malfoy and Cormac McLaggen and placing them in a woman-free zone, he couldn’t possibly conceive what it might be. “What is it, Lavender dear?”
“We both want similar things. Ron is married to Granger, when that person should be me. Malfoy and McLaggen are stealing all your prospective dates, and I have solution which should resolve all our problems,” Lavender announced smugly. “We will date each other, which will make Ron realise what he’s missing out on and date me. All the other women will realise that if you managed to bag the hottest girl around, that being me of course, you must be worthy to date, and they’ll flock to you.”
Michael considered all the points of the plan. It did sound good. Though Witch Weekly and the Prophet often questioned Lavender Brown’s current mental state, they couldn’t deny she was one of the most wanted bachelorettes. Well, it was all very good apart from one obvious flaw. “Why me though? Wouldn’t it make more sense to date Viktor Krum, as he dated Hermione which would make her jealous and leave Ron for him?”
“I thought about that, and I did attempt to get Krum to agree to my plan. It turns out it's illegal to threaten to send Krum death threats if he didn’t agree to it. Then I followed him around which resulted in a restraining order, and I’m not allowed to be within seven hundred metres of him. I shouldn’t even be here really, as I’m supposed to stay away from The Leaky Cauldron after I threw fire whiskey all over Granger. It’s my heart which is leading me on and my heart told me you would be the next best thing to Krum.”
Michael gave a nod in agreement. He might even be given brownie points by the press for dating such a frail and vulnerable person. That would cast a better light on him after the incident with Marietta Edgecombe going to The Quibbler and saying he was an arrogant toe rag. Thank goodness the only people who read that magazine were oddballs otherwise his reputation would be in tatters.
“This agreement does seem very agreeable to me,” Michael said. “We need to ensure that our relationship gets as much publicity as possible, so please refrain from any other acts in public which may result in a restraining order. Even though it would get publicity, it would be bad the bad kind, and that would put both the people we’re trying to attract off us.”
“Of course, I would do anything to win back my Won-Won,” Lavender replied dreamily. Michael saw a locket of ginger hair tied to a bit of rope which hung around her neck. He decided not to contemplate how she ended up with that.
He couldn’t understand why no one liked Lavender though; she was a rather charming person once you got to know her. Romeo and Juliet killed themselves for love, so what she was doing was quite mild in comparison. Ron was a reasonable person from what he remembered so he would be won over by this.
Plus, he would get to take down Malfoy and McLaggen. All those cutting remarks they ever made about him would long be forgotten. He would be the most wondrous wizard around.
Author's Note: The wonderful play, Romeo and Juliet, belongs to the brilliant William Shakespeare and not me. So Lavender appeared again, she's probably going to be one of the characters who pops up most. How did you like Michael being a womaniser? I better you never guessed he would end up like that :P If you want to be amazing you could leave a review as they really do mean a lot to me!
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