James was with Lily, Frank and Alice, Peter with Hestia, Remus with Mary, and me with, Dorcas? No, I was, as in previously, going with Dorcas, but according to Lily and Alice she was sick. I honestly doubt that, but Dorcas isn't a pushover. If she doesn't want to go that's her prerogative. Would've been nice to inform me, oh I don't know, when we were together not four hours earlier. It's just a dance, I'll get over it, but I seriously don't want to be near Marlene tonight and that's what would happen. I want to dance with and be near to Dorcas. If I said anything to her about getting together, she'd laugh. It's not even her fault. It's because I've been afraid of her all these years. She is intimidating and dangerous to be close to. Nick still wasn't over her, hell, I don't think anyone's ever gotten over Dorcas Meadowes.
"Pads, I don't think it's your fault," James said, clapping my shoulder. I shook him off and stepped to the side.
"Prongs, if you keep touching me I'm going to start believing it's your fault." He grabbed Evans' hand a little tighter at the comment of his questionable sexuality.
"Shut up, Sirius. I know what it's like." He knew about how I really saw Dorcas, and I knew he knew. It was James, he's the male equivalent of Lily no matter how hard he tried to be stupid and foolish.
"You know what it's like for six years?" He gave me a look and nudged Evans gently, who was engrossed in a conversation with Alice.
"Alright, so I guess you do," I whispered back. "It's just, it's Vixy, you know? She's not someone I've gotten to know from afar, like you with Evans. I know everything about her and even more about what she doesn't want to admit to herself." Remus came between us and threw his arms around our shoulders.
"Never assume you know everything, Sirius. That's when you know you're about to lose," he said, whispering the last part into my ear, then laughing hysterically. I shoved him off as well, James and I exchanging confused, uncomfortable looks. This wasn't how Remus usually was, even if he had a drink or two.
"What is up with the affection tonight, guys? And don't be so damn depressing, Moony. I basically am on a first name basis with Dorcas' intestines."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah Sirius. That's what you thought about me too, isn't it?" James and I stopped walking as Remus walked on forward with Mary, Peter, Hestia, Lily, Frank, and Alice.
"Drunk?" I looked at James, and back to Remus' walk that looked suspiciously sloppy.
This stupid dress really wasn't worth the effort it took to get it on. I mean, sure, I looked fabulous, but that was me not the dress. The heels? They're a whole other story.
"Peeves, if I was a bitch, would you tell me?" He swirled above my head dangerously as I walked towards the Great Hall.
"Of course Doe-doe dear," he exclaimed, his blue fog swirling in front of my face as he flew ahead of me. I coughed and raised my arm in front of my eyes.
"So? Am I?" I walked without an answer for quite some time when he appeared in front of my face rather suddenly, studying my eyes. I never really thought that ghosts or Poltergeists could truly look at things.
"Yes." He flew forward again and woke up a few unsuspecting portraits.
"Peeves!" He flew back to me again, looking annoyed.
"I told you I wouldn't lie, you know I'm not shy. Now that you know, where shall you go? Not to the ball, if you do you'll surely fall. Not only a powerful witch, ladies and gentlemen, but an honest to God bitch!" He whisked away for what I hope would be the last time.
"Peeves, we've talked about the rhyming," I yelled pitifully. No reply. What did Peeves know anyway, he wasn't alive. I sat down on the steps outside the hall and looked down, my hands in my head. What was I doing, anyway? I told Marlene I wouldn't go, why should I now? I lifted the soft maroon material, hiking it up to my knees, and took a small walk out in the Transfiguration courtyard. I walked over to the fountain, remembering how it looked that last full moon, so sharp and dangerous. My eyes blurred with tears, and I finally let them fall. This night was truly horrendous. Finding nothing else to do, I walked around, mostly going down around the boathouse. I played with the ropes, trying to pull in the individual boats, waiting to grow blisters until I stopped myself. I walked out from under the protection of the roof, and let the moonlight hit me with its full force. The full moon was a week from tonight, and I still haven't even given a thought as to what I was meant to do. Madam Pomfrey surely wouldn't let me go again, she was so shaken up last time. Beginning my trek back up to the castle, I remembered that I had been meaning to write to Harley. I stuck my hand in the pocket of my dress, feeling my wand. Surely I could conjure up some parchment and a quill when I got up there, right? Taking a left, I went up to the Owlery.
The stairs had me running out of breath, but I would have to do this eventually anyway. I finally reached the large round landing with the bench, and sat to write.
How are things going? I'm doing alright, same as usual, nothing interesting. You'll be happy to know that I'm writing this on the night of the Halloween Ball. That's right, I guess not going to balls runs in the family. (She was never invited.) Anyway, I just wanted to let you now how things are going, I guess. Do you have a job? Are you feeling okay? Is anything wrong? Sorry for all the questions, I just care about you.
Speaking of being sick, Dumbledore let me know about everything. I know about you and me and mom and everyone, so if you want to talk or something you can owl me whenever.
I scratched that out hastily, and laid the writing implements next to me. How ridiculous did I sound? She's the adult. She's supposed to know what to do, not me. But there I was, putting my nose in places it didn't belong. I suddenly had the urge to lay down, one I couldn't resist. I threw myself down, not caring that my letter and quill were knocked on the ground. I felt my chest becoming tight, and I clutched it as my wand fell out of my hand. My heart slowed down, and I could feel it trying to pump harder. My throat was constricted, and I couldn't yell out no matter how hard I tried. My head lost feeling, and I felt the pressure behind my eyes increase. My stomach churned, and I threw up right there. I crinkled my nose as the acid burned my throat fiercely. Wiping my mouth, I couldn't really think of anything else than how disgusting that was, not before I was unconscious, anyway.
I put my drink down on the table, enjoying the burning sensation it left in my throat. I heard Remus' laugh from across the room and smirked in approval. Finally having some fun I guess. Marlene had come around to sit with me about ten minutes earlier, but left when I quite pointedly ignored her.
"Oi, mate!" James looked back from where he was dancing with Evans, and saw me coming over towards him. He kissed her cheek quickly and walked towards me.
He clapped me on the shoulder and nodded towards the door. "Evans said she probably went to the boat house. Something about a good thinking place."
"Thanks mate," I said hastily as I went back to the table to grab my jacket. Just as I was about to finally leave, a hand grabbed my upper arm, and I turned around in annoyance.
"Dance with me before you go," Marlene more stated than asked, batting her lashes. I tugged my arm rather forcefully out of her grip, and her eyes tented in sadness for a moment before they went back up into defensive mode.
"You know she doesn't want to see you anyway, Sirius. Why the fuck do you think she didn't come?" I opened my mouth to retaliate before actually realizing that what she said kind of made sense. Why the hell didn't Dorcas come anyway?
"Just go away McKinnon." I kept walking, but I heard her heels clacking behind me furiously.
"Sirius just come dance. She's been ruining your life since first year. Can't you go one night without worrying about her?" I turned around, making her stop abruptly because she was so close to me.
"Dorcas hasn't ruined anything," I whispered, looking down at the shivering girl. If there was one thing I learned from my family, it was the ability to instill fear in others. It wasn't exactly something I'm proud of but it came in handy. Unfortunately, Marlene's muggle family seemed to have taught her a few tricks as well.
"You don't even know, do you? She's ruining you right this very moment," she whispered cruelly, in that soft but coarse voice of hers. I didn't really know much about Marlene McKinnon. I dated her for a week or two, she broke it off, no big deal. Regular family, regular life, nothing extraordinary about her. She wasn't even that particularly pretty. She was nice and average and boring. I knew for a fact that she was safe. She wasn't like Dorcas, and she wouldn't toy with me. There was so much safety in average.
"Marlene, I don't know what Dorcas has done to you, but that's honestly not my problem. I've got to find her." I put my jacket back on hastily as I exited the main castle and walked out into the courtyard. I had all these thoughts running through my head and I could think clearly in the silence.
Maybe Dorcas really didn't want me coming after her. I mean, this was stupid. When has she ever explained anything she does, right when she does it? Never. She's rash and bold and impulsive and she doesn't think before doing things. When was the last time Dorcas actually told me she wanted me there?
"This damn tie is going to choke me," I mumbled, mostly to myself I guess. "I'm going outside, Emm." She waved her pale arm in the air, dismissing me with ease. If I was going to get any sleep tonight I would have to do something productive. I noticed that I was the third person to leave the Ball one and a half hours early, the other two including Marlene McKinnon, and Sirius Black. Normally, I would dismiss it as Black being a proper asshole, going after Marlene for what he would describe as a "fun" night. As it happened, Marlene ran after him, so something was up. Dorcas also hadn't been here the entire night. It was probably because of me. She probably didn't want to hurt my feelings or something by coming with Black. Honestly, I'm a big boy, I can handle it, and we should set the record straight. That's actually what I was planning on doing right now. I was going to the Owlery to mail Dorcas. We can't have all this tension going on forever if I want to ever be her friend again.