Chapter 38 : Decisions
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Sometime after lying in bed with Tyler for a few hours or so, I made my way down to the guest bedroom. It was one thing to pretend things were okay from a distance, but quite another to lie in his arms and pretend so. I’d just gotten back to sleep when I heard Mackenzie start to cry. Groaning, I retraced my steps back upstairs and into the nursery. I stopped at the door. Tyler was already in the room with Mackenzie, rocking her on his shoulder. “It’s not time for you to be up yet little girl.” I heard him whisper. “You’re supposed to give Momma and I at least thirty more minutes.”
I smiled slightly before I could help myself. “Here, I’ll take her.” I replied, reaching my arms out. Tyler handed her over but didn’t make way to leave the room.
“You never came back to bed.” He said softly and was I imagining it or did he almost look hurt?
“Yeah, I didn’t want to disturb you after I finished my tea so I just stayed downstairs in the guest room.” I replied nonchalantly.
He nodded, pressing his lips together awkwardly, before walking past me and down the stairs. “Don’t know what I’m gonna do about him, Kenzie.” I whispered, bouncing her. “No use trying to get you back to sleep for only a half hours’ worth of rest. Let’s go get you some breakfast.” I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, placing Mackenzie in one of the three high chairs. “Mum and Dad aren’t up yet?” I asked Tyler.
“Doesn’t appear so.” He replied almost rudely.
I rolled my eyes, making my way back upstairs to Aiden and Selena’s nursery. Neither were crying or making any other sound louder than a gargle. They smiled at me when I came into their view. “Well good morning, siblings. I heard you gave Mum and Dad quite a night last night.” Their little arms jerked back and forth, smiling happily at the attention they were receiving. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast and let our parents rest.” I picked up Aiden, and then tried picking up Selena, but was having difficulty. I’d never held both at the same time before and I didn’t want to hurt Aiden while I was leaning over, trying to get a one armed grip on Selena.
“Need help?” Tyler asked. I turned to him.
“Where’s Mackenzie?” I asked, shocked that he’d left our daughter alone at the table.
He rolled his eyes at me this time. “She’s in the playpen, Alixzandra.”
I sighed. “Yes, I could use the help.”
Tyler stared at me for a moment before shaking his head to himself and walking over to Selena’s crib. His face changed instantly to the one he wore in front of Mackenzie. “Hey sweetheart. How’s my favorite sister-in-law?”
Selena smiled and gurgled some more and together, all four of us walked back downstairs and into the kitchen. I wondered how I didn’t have legs of steel after climbing and descending stairs all day long. Tyler placed Selena in her high chair and then went back for Mackenzie as I placed Aiden in his. Together, Tyler and I whipped up bottles for them and found hilarity in the difficult task of not having enough hands to feed all three. We figured it out eventually and by nine, all three children were fed, cleaned off and had sleepy eyes. We walked back into the nursery with them and laid them down in their beds after changing their diapers and putting them into normal clothes.
Afterwards, the awkward task of not knowing what to do with ourselves appeared. I sighed loudly. “We need to talk.”
“Yeah, we do.” He replied softly.
We walked into our bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. A few moments went by in which no one said a word, before I took a deep breath and found my courage. “I need to know if we need to get some paperwork involved.” There. I said it.
I heard his sharp intake of breath. “You mean a divorce?” I nodded and watched as he ran his hand through his hair. “Is that what you want?”
“No, I want to be with you forever, but seeing as how forever isn’t working out, I wondered if it was what you wanted.”
Tyler stared at me, hurt showing in his eyes. “Lex, I told you it wasn’t what I wanted. I told you I’d be back.”
“But you haven’t come back, Ty. I tried. I tried really hard to be the forgiving wife, and to keep my mouth shut while you open the legs of every bitch at Hogwarts, but I can’t do it anymore, Tyler. I’ve got Mackenzie to worry about, and yes, she deserves to have both of all 24/7. But, if she can’t have that, then I need to work on pulling myself together and moving on. For her. Ball’s in your court now, mate.”
“We’ve only been separated a few months!” His voice rose and I shushed him harshly.
“We aren’t the only people in this house!” I hissed.
He put his head in his hands, flopping back to lie on the bed. I rested my hand lightly on his knee. “I don’t want to fight about this. I just want you to think, okay? I’ll stand by whatever decision you feel you need to make, but I need to know by the time we return to Hogwarts.”
I stood then, giving him time to be alone to make his choice, and made my way back downstairs. Mum and Daddy were sitting at the kitchen table, both eating bowls of porridge. Walking to the refrigerator, I pulled out the orange juice and poured myself a glass, leaning against the counter and staring out the window over the sink as I drained the glass.
“Thank you for taking care of the twins,” Daddy finally spoke up. I could see my parents watching me curiously out of the corner of their eyes.
“Yup,” I replied plainly, eyes growing blurry as my focus remained on a tree outside while my mind tried to wander.
“Talk to Tyler?” Mum asked.
They didn’t try for conversation again, and for that, I thanked them silently. I was in no mood to make idle conversation. After a few more uncomfortably silent moments, I finally pushed away from the counter, and dropped my glass into the sink.
“Tyler will let me know by the time we return to Hogwarts if we’re making the separation permanent,” I eventually said. “Until then, we’re going to do our best to give each other space.”
Mum sighed. “It’s for the best, Swe-“
I interrupted her by leaving, ignoring her logics. I didn’t want it to be ‘for the best.’ Mackenzie having both of her parents was ‘for the best.’ Wanting nothing more than to curl up on the bed in the guest room and cry my heart’s content into the pillow, I climbed the stairs, making my way to my old bedroom to change for the day.
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