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Bulldozer by free elf 25
Chapter 6 : Broom Closets and Pumpkin Pasties
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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The next few weeks were uneventful. Gossip died down, Rose and Scorpius grew closer (but still refused to label it) and Albus freaked out about the quidditch trials in five days. Five. Whole. Days.

Today was Sunday, and instead of studying in the library or lazing about in the dying early October sun like a normal person, I was standing in the middle of the quidditch pitch screaming my lungs out while caked in enough mud to fill the common room. The mental image is just sooo attractive; I should really just give up on quidditch and take up modelling instead.

"ALBUS FREAKIN' POTTER! Who the hell gave you the right to wake me up at 6 a.m., chuck a piece of toast at my face, throw my broom into my chest, kick me out on to the field and then use me as a bloody target for an hour, nearly ending in my death?"

"McGonagall. Do you want some lunch? I'm starving." Albus replied coolly, barely glancing up at me as I stormed over. Instead, he began picking at a small splatter of mud on his right shoulder. The nerve.


"Nearly being the key word of that sentence. It wasn't even sprained!"


"I healed it straight after, and really? The next Voldemort? That's a bit extreme Kasy. And I'm sorry, but I'm just worried about Friday!"

I sighed, biting my lip and glaring at my boots to avoid his puppy-gaze. It worked, and god did he know it.

"That's not the point Al. Just because you're worried doesn't mean you have to practise your beating skills- you're a seeker Al, not a beater. That's Lysander. And despite popular belief, some of us actually do receive homework during sixth year, and with you dragging us out to the pitch at every open chance, I haven't gotten round to do it. So I'm showering, eating and library-ing, and you are going to stay the hell out of my way! Understand?"

Al huffed, his grip still on the red quaffle in his hands. The boy's worse than his brother was, I swear. The mud was cracking against my freezing skin, making it almost impossible to glare at him. But I succeeded just enough.

"Okay, fine, fine, fine! I understand. But come on Kasy- admit you would be in the same state as captain!"

I scoffed, marching towards the Gryffindor changing room.

"That's a lie and Merlin do you know it."




I jumped at the noise, taking a glance at my surroundings. No one had taken a seat by me, or a place between the bookshelves, or even a squat under the rickety table I was situated. Putting it down to my imagination, I returned to the book Professor Flint had suggested me to read before the lessons started in two weeks. This was the eighth of fourteen.

"Kasy! Psst!"

Nope. My imagination wouldn't take it that far. Slipping some lilac fabric between the pages to keep my place, I whirled round to investigate.

"Hello? You know, I'm actually trying to study so if you wouldn't mind just fu- AAAH!"

My scream was cut short by a whirl of blonde hair crashing into my side, covering my mouth with his hand. I was now lying on top of my attacker, their knees digging into mine from behind.

"Shut it Wood. I need your help."

Recognising the voice, my heart began re-beating. Not a rapist or murderer or homework stealer after all. Just a fellow Hogwartian.

"You? Need my help?"

That's what I attempted to say, but with his hand covering my mouth it came out like 'Ew? Wee ah heff?" Luckily he got the gist.

"Yeah. It's know who."

I was about to gasp and cry out 'Voldemort?' but I stopped myself, realising he probably wouldn't find it very funny. Very few people did anymore, especially the stuck-up Purebloods. But when he said this, my mind re-kicked into gear.

Looking after a pygmy puff in second year? Impossible. Match making? That is right up my street. After all, my middle name is Aphrodite. She's like the female version of Cupid.

Biting his finger lightly so he'd remove his hand, I rolled over so I was lying down beside him.

"Plan's already in motion Malfoy." I smirked, grabbing my stuff and leaving quickly, but not before dropping back onto the floor and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Seventh floor, opposite Barnabas the Barmy. 10 o'clock- be late and die."

With that, I whisked out the room, leaving a very baffled Slytherin in my wake.



"Got all your homework finished?" Al called as soon as I walked through the portrait hole. The alchemy book dropped from its position near my nose as I searched the common room for the owner of his voice, locating it by the fire.

"Hey Al. And yeah, I just Rose's touch for my transfiguration essay. What about you? Got another 100 laps of the pitch done? Or have you moved on to saving quaffles?" I joked, ducking as Al lent over to ruffle my hair. The autumn sky was beginning to fade into darkness, the deep red leaves whipping across the grounds in the powerful punches of wind.

"Let's hope this clears up before Friday. I think I will genuinely have a heart attack if we have to do the trials in that." Al commented, leaning forwards to look at the window on the other side of the room.

"Don't worry. You won't be alone- imagine the wee little second and third years! But anyway, chances are that you'll have a heart attack way before that. You're exhausted, Al. You need to sleep!" I sighed, looking at the dark bruises under his dull eyes. "It's trials. Do exactly what you and James have been running through all freaking summer long! You'll be fine. Promise."

It was nearly half nine and I still needed to run to the kitchen and grab some dinner before meeting Scorpius.

"Pinky promise?" Al murmured, yawning at the same time. He looked like a little first year, his face completely unguarded.

"Pinky promise." I agreed, shaking his little finger with my own. "Now come on- to bed you little rascal!"

Al laughed, standing up and pulling me into a hug. But a new sort of hug. It wasn't a jokey bear hug like usual, or a one armed I'm-too-much-of-a-man-for-this-shit hug, but a full one, clutch-them-like-a-lifeline hug. The sort you give to a friend that has been sitting on their bed crying for hours with a bucket of ice cream and pile of soppy romance films, or someone who's not exactly a friend. A-more-than-friend friend. Yeah, you know. That sort of hug.

"See you tomorrow Kas." Al whispered, trudging up the stairs to his dorm. I was left standing there, like the utter idiot I am, wondering what the hell that hug was, who the hell Al had turned into and why the hell I felt so cold when it was over.



I was late. Obviously. Darn house elves, with their cuteness and innocence and enthusiasm. I spent twenty minutes listening to them rattle on about tales of 'the good old days' and kitchen gossip, only to realise it was nearly quarter past ten and I still didn't have the pumpkin pasties I came for.

"Thank fucking Merlin. Getting stood up by my girlfri- my...Rose's best friend isn't exactly what I plan to do on a Sunday night. Why are you- OOH! Pasties!"

Attention span of a bloody goldfish. No wonder he didn't get sorted into Ravenclaw.

As Malfoy stuffed half of my pumpkin pasties into his amazingly large gob, I paced three times in front of the blank wall. My gasps for breath faded enough so I could tear Malfoy from my pasties and turn him to face the door that appeared behind us.

"Welcome to the Room of Requirement. Eat any more of my pasties and I will turn it into a torture chamber."

Scorpius gulped, dropping the half eaten pasty from his hand. Nodding, satisfied, I pushed open the doors, not bothering to see if Malfoy followed.

"So. Target- Rose Nymphadora Weasley. Agents- Wood and Malfoy. Location- broom closet on the second floor, east side. Date- Thursday. Time- 19.00 hours. Understood?"

I turned, seeing that Scorpius was still standing by the door, his mouth hanging wide open.

"Holy fuck!"

I smiled, finally admiring my handiwork. The walls were covered with large chalkboards, already armed with pictures and facts about Rose. In the middle of the room was a black, three-seated sofa, pushed against an enormous glass coffee table. Minus the coffee. At least until I figured out how to call for a house elf.

In all, it was epic. Though if someone investigated the seemingly 'new' room, it would take a lot of explaining to get them to understand that we were not stalking Rose. Or at least, I wasn't. I can't talk for Malfoy.

"Holy fuck indeed, young green one. Now, sit while I explain my plan!"

Malfoy did as I said, collapsing onto the couch with a grunt. As I went through my (awesome, sexy, mind-blowing, Oscar worthy) plan, I kicked his feet off of my coffee table, sitting down with my pile of pumpkin pasties. a weird way.



"Favourite colour?"

"Azure. But she doesn't wear it because it clashes with her hair."

"Favourite flowers?"

"Iris'. Never EVER get her roses unless you're asking for a death wish."

"Favourite magical animal?"

"Crups 'cos they're adorable and breathe fire."

"Favourite muggle animal?"

"Those albino bunnies with white fur and red eyes."

"Real favourite book?"

"Alice in Wonderland, which is why she loves albino bunnies."

I grinned, looking at Malfoy proudly. It was Wednesday night now, and I'd told him everything I could without breaking some serious friendship rules. And feminine rules.

"Whoo! I- I mean we- did it!" I squealed, shoving half a chocolate tart into my mouth. Merlin bless Twinkles.

"Really? Thank Merlin; another night with you and I would have collapsed! No offence."

I glared at him anyway, having to remind myself how much Rose would hate me if I killed him. Or cut his hair. Though I'd probably get big fat kisses from her dad, along with most of the other Weasleys.

"Right. Time to-"


The door burst open, revealing a red-faced, sweating, fiery eyed Al. In his hand was the crumpled piece of parchment James passed on to him in the summer.

"HA! Ha! Ha..." He paused, panting for breath. Is it weird that I find him extremely attractive right now?

"-go. Al, what are you doing here?" I asked, cramming another tart into my mouth to stop me from moaning at the sight of extremely sexy Al. Darn hormones. Malfoy just looked on in amusement.

"Me? What am I doing here? What are you doing Kasy? You know Rose likes Scorpius and you''re...what the hell?" Al stuttered, taking in the CSI style room. We'd expanded our knowledge over the past three lessons, so it did look like the work of a pair of lunatics. We should probably get tested.

"What were you expecting? A big master bed? Clothes all over the floor? Rose petals and champagne? A broom closet with a pack of condoms?" I caught Malfoy's eye, causing us to both burst into laughter. Al's face instantly re-reddened, making our laughter deepen.

"A little...I guess...not the third, Scorp's shit at the romantic stuff...STOP LAUGHING AT ME! What was I meant to think? Oh yeah, Kas and Scorp went into the Room of Requirement for two freakin' hours, obviously they're stalking my FUCKING COUSIN!" Al shouted, realising what was scribbled all over the walls. But a smile still tugged on his lips when he turned to see me and Malfoy keeled over, howling with laughter. After a few minutes of spluttered giggles and snorts, I sat up, drying my teary eyes.

"Wait- were you stalking me? Or is Malfoy more to your taste?" I asked, sending Malfoy into another fit of laughter.

"No, What? Kas, really, no. No, I-I-I-Stop changing the subject Kas! What were you two doing?"

I smirked. So this was what evil villains felt like in movies when they revealed their (awesome, sexy, mind-blowing, Oscar worthy) plans to the victim.

"Hatching a plan to get Rose and Malfoy to stop being idiots and label it, without that idiot screwing it all up. Wanna help?"

Al paused for a second, thinking it through. The fact we weren't actually stalking his cousin might have helped.

"Yeah, why not?"

With the help of another plate of chocolate tarts, (I <3 house elves!) Me and Malfoy brought Al into our (awesome, sexy, mind-blowing, Oscar worthy) plan. Only 44 hours to go.



Albus' POV

So, you see your two best friends sneaking out of the Room of Requirement on a Tuesday night, way after curfew. Totally normal. Nothing to worry about. Right?

Wrong. Kas and Scorp aren't exactly the biggest fans of each other. Especially since she hung him upside down to get the Slytherin common room password. Kas thought he was a stuck-up, no backboned, good for nothing Slytherin. Scorp thought she was a bitch with an attitude and severe mental problems. Not too far from the truth, really.

And it didn't help with what I saw on Sunday. I settled for it just being a mistake, as obviously Kas would tell me if anything was going on. There I was, innocently looking at the Marauder's map, when I come across Kasy in the library. Completely coincidental. I wasn't, you know, checking she was okay and...alone or anything. Merlin no.

But she wasn't alone. She was with Scorpius. She was on top of Scorpius. I bet my heart could have been heard breaking all the way from Salem.

When Kasy came in, she was normal. Ish. Slightly too smiley for a girl who got caked in mud, had her nose broken, missed lunch and spent five hours in the library all in one day.

But when Wednesday night rolled around, I was ready. Armed with the map, I saw Kasy leaving the common room, with Scorpius skipping along from the dungeons. Seriously, he was actually skipping. I sprinted down as soon as Aidan had gone to sleep, giving them a good twenty minutes or so to...get started.

What I wasn't expecting was for Kas to be helping Scorp win Rose over, and Scorp to have actually kept his hands off of her food. Though they were definitely closer, nearly at first name basis, there was no snogging or anything...more involved. They focused on the Plan, and nothing more.

And what a plan it was. What a plan it is. Because here I am, pressed up against Kasy, waiting for our two victims to get into position so we can blast them into a broom closet. Quite literally.

" have quidditch trials tomorrow, don't you?"

We stiffened at Scorpius' voice, Kasy's arm moving to reach her wand.

"Yeah. I play keeper. Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually really worried this year. Albus is hosting re-trials for team members, and the competition is terrifying."

"Don't worry, you'll get it for sure. Even Al isn't stupid enough to lose a player like you!"

Just a few more steps. Wait it out Al. Ignore the insult.

"Thanks Scorp. How's your team? Goyle's captain this year, isn't sh- AH!"

With a flick of our wands, the soon to be (hopefully) couple were sent flying backwards into the closet behind them. Their wands flew straight into my hand so Rose couldn't worm her way through Kasy's impressive locking charms.

"What the hell? Scorp, are you okay?"

"Fine. Just tripped on a bucket I think. You?"

"I'm all right. And it wasn't a bucket. I sort of fell on you."

"Oh. Glad to be of service m'lady."

Me and Kasy smirked, listening to their so cliché conversation intently. Like, seriously? 'M'lady'?

"It's locked." Rose stated after a few jingles of the door knob. "Where's my- KASY!"

Kasy's mouth dropped open. It was true, but first guess? Impressive.

"I believe it's called a wand Rose. Unless you named yours after your best friend, which is quite weird. And I don't know."

"No you dimwit! Kasy's behind this, I know she is! That little bi-"

"Love you too Rosie. Glad Scorpykins was there to catch you!" Kasy called, cutting Rose off.

"LET ME OUT! I swear to God Kasy, if you don't open this door right now-"

"Hey, what's with all the hostility! I'm not the one with your wand."

There was a pause as Rose tried to figured it out, followed by a growl. A full on, predatorial growl. Why is every girl capable of those?

"Albus. Severus. Potter. Open this door right this second and your manlihood will be left unharmed. Understood?"

"What manlihood?" Kasy butted in before I could reply. Loyalty at its highest, right there guys.

"True." Rose said wistfully. "Open this door or...I'll owl Aunt Ginny!" Rose shrieked with glee.

"How threatening cous. I think Mum will be fine with mine and Kasy's little Cupid skills. She'll probably send us a Howler full of her squeals, right Kas?" I smirked, letting Rose realise our true plan. It's hard to believe she's meant to be the cleverest in our year.

"Wait...Scorpius...locking wands...broom closet...Cupid...YOU LITTLE SHITS! HOW DARE YOU! WE'RE MEANT TO BE FRIE-"

"Less talking, more snogging. WE WANT LABELS ROSIE!"




"BUT THIS ISN'T JUST ANY PLAN! This is the master plan Rosie!"

We earned a few weird glances from passing students. Screaming matches between the best friend you locked in a broom closet with her not-quite boyfriend? That's Hogwarts for you!

Rose shut up with a few muttered 'wacko' and 'bitch'.

"You'll thank me later. October is dawning Rosie!" Kasy finished with a quick yawn, crawling into a heap on the floor. Those students were now hurrying by as fast as they could as Rose's shouts restarted, mixed with Scorpius'.

"You okay Kas?" I asked, sitting so that her head was now on my lap.

"Fine. Just tired. And hungry. You don't happen to have a few spare chocolate frogs on you, do you?"

I smiled down at her hopeful face, pulling a few frogs from my cloak pocket.

"Here. Enjoy Kas."

"My hero. Oh look! It's your dad!" She smiled, holding up the card. Dad's green eyes twinkled back at me, winking and laughing. He looked so much younger than now.

"Oh shoot. I got Salazar again. I swear these things are jinxed."

For half an hour we sat and shared chocolate frog cards, talking about quidditch and family and lessons and house elves. Just like usual.



"Kas. Kas, wake up. It's quarter to eight. Kasy!" I whispered urgently, shaking Kasy awake. Her eyes fluttered open, her lips forming a perfect 'O' in a hushed yawn.

"What? Where...oh, right. Let's do the honours."

She yawned again, stumbling to her feet. I caught her by the waist, offering her her wand.

With one flick, the silencing and locking charms were lifted. We placed the silencing one after ten minutes of Rose's and Scorp's fighting. Let's just say the plan didn't exactly as we hoped, but that was half an hour ago. A lot can change in thirty minutes.

"Right, are you two- EW! MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Kasy shrieked. She pounced on me, trying to move me so I didn't see through the broom closet's open door. But I did.

Rose. And Scorpius. Snogging. Half-naked. In half a freaking hour.

Rose shrieked, detaching her face from Scorpius', pushing his hand from dangerously high up her skirt. He looked horrified, trying to decide whether to stick his own shirt on or give Rose back her bloody bra. How he removed that without her shirt I'll never know. And really don't want to.

Kasy had given up trying to move me. Instead, she shoved her face into my shoulder, shaking with laughter. A smirk grew on my face when Rose and Scorp re-emerged, this time a little more decent.

"If you two aren't labelling it after that display, I think I'll just go and turn myself into a bloody Death Eater." I said, bursting out into laughter like Kasy. Rose turned bright red, probably about to make up an excuse like 'spur of the moment' or 'freaking broom closet', when Scorpius put his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him.

"Rose Weasley. For the past four nights I've been trying to get to know you without talking to you, so I wouldn't be so scared when it came to this. So, will you be my girlfriend?"

She smiled, gazing deeply into his eyes. How romantic. Even Kasy stopped laughing to look at the display, her eyes glazing over with happiness. And...longing?

"Hell yeah!" Rose cried, pulling him into another indecent snog. I took Kasy and walked back up to the common room, leaving them to it. She slumped into my side, a few giggles still erupting from her lips along with two words that summed the event up.

"Fucking finally."



~Author's Note

DON'T HATE ME! I am so so sorry for the wait-  was aiming for two weeks at the most and ended up with over three. Whoopsies! Hopefully ths awesome, sexy, mind-blowing, Oscar worthy, LONGEST CHAPTER YET can make up for it. So, leave me a little review to answer. What was your favourite part? Favourite quote? Glad to get some Scorose action? And I'll try to be updating way quicker than this time. NEXT TIME- Quidditch trials!

Disclaimer- Alice in Wonderland belongs to Lewis Carroll, and anything Hogwartian you recognise belongs to the truly epic JK Rowling.

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