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Knowing by The Empress
Chapter 1 : true or not
 
Rating: 12+Chapter Reviews: 10


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A/N: Flexing my writing muscles. Reviews are much appreciated. 



 

  Everyone goes through life knowing things whether they are true or not. Children know absolutes, as do teenagers. They know that everyone loves them or hates them and it is only adulthood and a new clarity of the world that brings them to know that there are shades of grey. When he was a child, Remus Lupin knew that people loved him, or at least liked him. Also, he knew that if they knew his secret they would hate him. Or, worse, fear him. And he did not want his new friends to fear him or hate him because he knew that friends were to be treasured.

 


He nearly wept the day James looked into his eyes, with a solemn face, and said ‘We know. We don’t care.’



  However Remus, being wiser than most boys his age, knew that the acceptance of his friends war far more easily won than coming from anyone else. It is easy to be twelve and think it grand to have a werewolf for a friend. If there was one thing Remus knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, with every fibre in his being, it was that Lily Evans saved him.


She looked at him with uncommon kindness and gentleness and said ‘I know. I like you anyway.’ And for a sixteen year old girl, talking to a boy whose friends she rather scorned, this was no easy thing.

 


Remus knew that Lily was kindness and gentleness and light. He knew that James fancied her for all of these things and for the graceful beauty they were wrapped up in. When Lily began to return James’ feelings Remus knew. He likes to think he knew even before she did, because he was watching her as that certain light entered her eyes. Now, he knows, James and Lily love each other with a deep, true, love that no one else can come between.

He also knows, though it sickens him a little, that if ever she indicated otherwise he would destroy his own friendship with James for her. Remus knows that he, too, loves Lily.

 


Today he stood beside Sirius who stood beside James, and watched Lily, breathtaking in white, walk down the aisle toward them. Just for a moment, one painful moment, he imagined that she was walking to him. He smiled with everyone else with a sad sort of happiness as two people he cared for more than anyone else in the world pledged forever to each other.

 


He goes to her and asks for a dance and he knows that she will say yes. Even though she knows this is the culmination of his heartbreak. It is his way of letting go. Of finally admitting in his heart of hearts what he has always known – she will never be his.

 


The first beautiful notes play and she places her soft hand in his scarred one, and they begin to dance. Remus knows this may be the most perfect moment of his life.



 




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