Chapter 10 : Supersonic
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I’m feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic
You can have it all
But how much do you want it?
~ Supersonic ~ Oasis ~
I had a Defence Against the Dark Arts essay that I needed to crack on with, so I stayed late in the library one night, a couple of weeks after the werewolf incident. There were a few students in there, to be honest, mostly sixth and seventh years. I used to be able to spend hours or entire days in the library amongst the tall, dark bookshelves, getting lost in the pages. Things came alive to me on the page back then, and made all the work seem worth it, like there was a rhyme or reason to it. But for some reason these days, the library didn’t have that same old effect on me. I hadn’t read for pleasure since the kidnapping, and books seemed like the distant subtext of someone else’s life than my own. But I persisted because my grades were important to me; I was still your average Ravenclaw.
I was so tired that I ended up squinting at the higher shelves, lit wand raised, trying to read the faded titles on the binders. I wasn’t looking where I was going, so I swore loudly when I collided heavily with someone else.
“FUCK!” I yelled, then quietened down when I remembered where I was, angrily clutching my newly sore shoulder. “Can you look where you’re go- oh.” It was Lily Evans. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay, I wasn’t paying attention.” She whispered with a sweet smile.
“Oh, me neither.” I admitted. “How are you?”
“Okay.” She shrugged. “It’s nice to see you around. You’re making Remus so happy.”
“Really?” I blushed. We’d kissed more now, and I felt like I was almost getting used to it.
“Yes.” She giggled.
“David seems pretty cheerful these days too.” I teased. I wasn’t even lying; I’d passed him the other day in the common room and caught him mid-song. David Leonard, singing! Whatever next?
“Oh well,” She giggled again, “He’s sweet, you know?” Actually, Perry had never said any such thing. When those two got together, it was like a broom wreck. They did nothing but argue, and if you were lucky enough to find them not arguing, it was usually because they’d silenced each other by shoving their tongues down the other’s throat. Given that, I’d never thought of David as sweet. Nice, certainly, but not sweet.
“It’s good to see you smiling.” I said.
“Erin,” She lowered her voice, “Thanks for everything. You know you’re the only person I ever told about the James thing and… you helped me out a lot.” I recalled our first conversation down by the lake and frowned. It seemed like so long ago.
“I didn’t think I was much use.”
“Well, you were. I never would have gone to Hogsmeade with David if it wasn’t for you. I can’t explain why, but I realised going after something I can’t have- it isn’t any good.”
“Oh, um, well I’m glad if I was of any help to you.” I said, still not really understanding what she was talking about.
“I owe you.” She smiled sweetly.
“No, don’t worry about it.” I waved my hand dismissively.
“If there’s anything I can do, you know where I am.”
“You’re quite close to Lily, aren’t you?” Sirius and I were sitting out by the lake. He was leaning against a tree with his long legs stretched out, eyeing me speculatively. Even though it was cold, there were too many people around inside on a Sunday afternoon to concentrate on revising for the Ancient Runes test we had the next day.
“I don’t know whether I could say close…” I replied hesitantly, frowning down at the textbook in my lap, trying to decipher the runes which had become a blur to my eyes.
“Well, she thinks the world of you and I know she talks to you about stuff… more than anyone else lately, really.”
“Hm…” I tried to think who else I’d seen Lily hanging around with, but then realised that she always seemed to be on her own. In previous years she’d been close to Severus Snape, but that was no more. The other Gryffindor girls seemed to have their own little clique, and Lily… no, Lily was always on her own, apart from when she was with the Marauders. “I suppose I am her closest girl friend.” I conceded, “Why?”
“James keeps pestering me to ask you whether her and Leonard are serious. As in, are they official?” Sirius shrugged.
“Oh. Well, yes, they are.” I admitted, recalling my conversation with Lily in the library that week. “She seems to really like him.”
“He’s not going to like that.” Sirius let out a tired-sounded breath. I glanced over at him. He looked really troubled by something. I was surprised he was that concerned with James’ love life, considering he usually seemed completely bored by it- but then I followed his gaze to the opposite bank of the lake. His younger brother, Regulus, was gathered there with a bunch of other Slytherin’s including Snape.
“Have you spoken to him?” I asked him quietly. Sirius eyes slid over to me momentarily before they went back to his brother.
“He won’t talk to me. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. None of them do.” He answered, sounding sad.
“I didn’t think you wanted them to want anything to do with you.”
“I don’t. They’re all a bunch of complete bastards.” He spat angrily. “It’s just, Reg is just a kid. He’s a smart kid, too. He has all the world at his feet and he’s choosing Voldemort.” A shiver went down my spine when he said the name.
“I didn’t know it was certain.” I murmured.
“It’s not- at least, he’s too young to be a Death Eater. But he’s been interested in Voldemort for years, and now look at the kind of people he spends his time around. It’s inevitable.”
“He could come to his senses. Between you and me, even though they’re all shades of evil, the Death Eaters I’ve met don’t seem to be having much fun. They all seem very unhappy.” The cold blue eyes I remembered so well flashes before me. He had been unhappy, whoever he was- I’d never got a name. He probably didn’t even believe in Voldemort, just wanted a chance to inflict as much pain as he could. He was a sadist, certainly, but maybe not a Pureblood-obsessed murderer.
“You never talk about that.” Sirius noted.
“It’s bad enough I have to remember it- I don’t want to think about it more than I have to.” This reminded me of the fact I needed to write to my parents to say I would be coming home for Christmas. When I’d gotten home that summer, we hadn’t quite settled back into being normal before I had to go to school. I missed them and I wanted to make sure they were okay.
“Sounds fair.” Sirius looked back over at Regulus, lost in thought. Remus came over just then.
“Hey.” He sat down beside me, smiling warmly. My stomach leaped up.
“Hi. Why are you out here? It’s freezing.” I pointed out.
“I finished all my work and got bored. I thought you two might want me to do your work too.” He brushed his fringe out of his eyes as he said that. “I need a haircut.”
“You could grow it out like Sirius’.” I suggested.
“I don’t think his look is for me.” Remus answered, but for some reason looked annoyed all of a sudden. “What were you talking about? I doubt it was work.” He made an attempt to sound teasing but I could tell something was still bugging him. I would have to ask him about it later.
“Um…” I hesitated.
“James and Lily,” Sirius told him, “Apparently she is officially with Leonard now.”
“I’m not looking forward to that conversation.” Remus winced.
“Me neither. He’ll go on for hours. Speaking of hours, I need a break before I revise anymore. This is doing my nut in. See you later, Erin, Moony.” Sirius was already quickly storming away towards the castle by the time we even realised he was leaving. I looked at Remus bemusedly and he just shrugged at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked Remus.
“Well, you seemed kind of pissed off about something all of a sudden.”
“I’m fine…” Remus repeated, but I could tell he wanted to say something else.
“I just… don’t take this the wrong way okay? But I kind of wish you’d spend less time with Sirius.” He told me. My mouth dropped open in shock.
“What? Why?” I cried.
“Well…” Remus looked uncomfortable. “He can be a bad influence and you spend more time with him than you do me and…”
“You’re always busy with prefect stuff or ill!” I pointed out, irritated myself now. I was also stunned that we were getting into our first fight already.
“There just doesn’t seem to be a lot of studying going on.” Remus said frankly.
“We’re friends!” I gasped, “What are you trying to say? That I would cheat on you with Sirius? Are you crazy? I mean not only is that ridiculous-“
“Why is it ridiculous? He’s better looking than me, you talk to him more, you have things in common-“
“Hardly!” I yelled, “Besides, that’s even worse for what you’re saying about him! He’s your best friend!” I’d got him there. Remus mouthed wordlessly at me for a moment before the fight seemed to go out of him. His shoulders slumped.
“You’re right.” He whispered.
“Where has all this crap come from anyway?” I was still angry, “I don’t like being told who I can and can’t talk to!”
“I know. It was out of order but… I guess I’m jealous. I am always busy, like you said. I feel like we don’t spend much time together these days.” He had gone pink. I looked at him for a long moment. How could I be upset with him after he said something like that? I sighed.
“Okay. Maybe… maybe we could spend more time together.” I managed to choke out. Remus beamed at me before giving me a peck on the cheek.
“Thanks, Erin. I’m really sorry for being such a dick.”
A/N: Hey guys, I have literally rushed this into the queue as soon as it was possible to do so! Please please please leave me a review, it would make my day!
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