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Escaping the Friend Zone by jess94
Chapter 53 : Crazy In Love
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 3

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 Chapter Fifty Three

“So, you were naked?”

“For the last time yes”

“But, like, fully naked?”

“For Merlin’s sake, yes I was fully naked” I barked at Louis and Freddie who had been finding the whole thing way too amusing for my liking. So after I inadvertently revealed myself to my head of house and the head of the school no less, things kind of went from bad to worse. Panicking as she knew there was no way McGonagall wouldn’t tell the Potters Lily quickly came up with an elaborate cover story in which I slept naked and was prone to sleep walking. In her story, she’d been having a detention with Hagrid when they spotted the fully naked me wondering around in his sleep in the grounds and took me into the hut.

McGonagall seemed satisfied with this but it meant that I was being referred to the schools therapist for counselling session and, to my humiliation, the following sentence came out of McGonagall’s mouth “Mr. Benson, as well toned as your body may be I heavily suggest you begin wearing underwear to bed”

Oh yeah and after that I promptly collapsed from hypothermia and had to stay in the hospital wing for a week to recover, Freddie and Louis visited me every chance that they got in order to question me about what had happened. Hagrid, it transpired, had accidentally revealed the secret to a fourth year Care of Magical Creatures class so now everyone in the school knew about what had been dubbed as The Event. How he’d got on to discussing me or the fact I was naked in a class full of people two years younger than me was a mystery but it had happened. Lily was embracing what had happened and Al, to my surprise, found the whole thing downright hilarious and assured me that he wasn’t mad with me. I didn’t explicitly mention that Lily and I were having sex but it was clear he’d figured it out for himself and had accepted it. Lily was nearly 17 after all and therefore perfectly capable of making her own decisions

“I can’t believe Minnie saw you naked” Freddie said with a booming laugh “Dude, I mean, I love you and shit Oliver but that is just too fucking funny. McGonagall saw everything?”

“Every part of me” I said going red faced but that only succeeded in making Freddie and Louis laugh even harder

“Oh mate, I’ve known you get into some pretty embarrassing situations but this just has to top it” said Louis barely audible through his cries of laughter.

“It isn’t funny” I tried to insist but despite myself I managed to let out a small giggle. Freddie had nearly wet himself by that point

“Well, that’s gonna be your transfiguration lessons a lot more awkward” he grinned “Oh, how I wish Hugo was here to see this. Might just be the thing that could have cheered him up”

“First of all” I cut in “Hugo has a serious mental and physical health problem, it’s a much bigger case than just cheering him up a bit and secondly-“

I paused

“Secondly what” Louis prompted me


Unfortunately this only made the two morons absolutely hysterical all over again


At least they and Albus were finding it funny; a lot of people had very weird reactions to The Event for example; Rose’s reaction was one of disgust and we got a stern telling off for having such an active reckless sex life

Not that Rose could talk

Pregnancy and all

Melissa and Rebecca found the whole thing initially quite funny but as time went on they became more and more repulsed by the idea of my naked form. Not because they thought I was ugly, mainly because they thought of me as a little brother and thinking of me that way ‘just didn’t feel right’. Leila and Anita merely moaned about the fact they didn’t get to see it whilst Malfoy delighted in telling anyone who didn’t yet know the delightful news. Abi, I heard, merely shrugged it off and tried her best to ignore the situation entirely. Ben and Ryan remained fairly passive on the subject and had been keeping to themselves ever since Hugo left. I was getting a tad paranoid I’d done something to upset them; neither had so much as spoken to me since Hugo left for St. Mungo’s over a month before

But, on top of all the awkwardness of people finding out, third year girls winking at me through the windows that let you see into the hospital wing and teachers suppressing smirks whenever they walked by the most awkward thing about the whole mess was having to explain to Jack exactly what had happened

“Oliver people are saying you were naked” he piped up on Wednesday afternoon when he came to visit me in the hospital wing “Oliver, why were you naked?” he asked again after I initially failed to reply

“Look, mate, I didn’t want to have this talk with you just yet but it’s time I did” Eugh, I hated having to go into ‘dad mode’ with Jack but someone needed to have the birds and the bees chat with him sooner or later. I’d been planning to let Hugo, Fred or Louis do it but I decided against warping my brother’s idea of sex for future years to come

“Is this about sex?” he asked. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt

“Yes mate, it is” I said trying to sound as unawkward as I could but I probably sounded like Professor Filch. Eugh, imagine having the birds and the bees conversation with Filch! Good thing the bloke never had kids

“Nope. No. Don’t wanna know la-la-la-la” he said loudly putting his fingers in his ears, closing his eyes and shaking his head violently from left to right

“Jack it is time” I said getting my little brother to concentrate “Now, you’re 12 years old and your probably noticing some changes. Girls will seem more attractive to you, you’ll have strong feelings and… inhibitions will take over. And as these feelings become stronger you’ll grow into a teenager and make really stupid decisions – No! – let yourself be talked into making stupid decisions like removing all your clothes in public”

“That-that wasn’t the birds and the bees talk was it Oliver?” Jack asked clearly perplexed and disturbed by my sudden rant on the teenage psyche.

“No, I’m just sick of being judged harshly for what happened” I said “I mean, yeah it was a stupid thing to do but it doesn’t mean I’m some weird pervert does it”

“I guess not” Jack said slowly. His discomfort was evident “Oliver, it’s OK, I already know all of this bird and the bees crap”

“You do?” I asked shock “How? And why did you let me embarrass myself like that? Don’t you think I’ve had enough of that for one life time?”

“Well” Jack began slowly “Hugo kind of told me everything when he was drunk two Christmases ago and secondly, I just wanted to see your awkward approach to everything. I’m not some innocent little kid you know. I’ve done things with girls”

“What things” I asked dreading the answer

“I kissed Lucy last week” Jack said in the way only a 12 year old could “We’re going out now, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend”

As cute as that was it made me feel kind of bad for Lucy. She clearly had a massive crush on Jack which he was unaware of but now they were in a first year relationship any future prospect of them dating properly was gone. Boys never take first year relationships seriously. Hell, I had one with Melissa!


“I bet you’re glad to be out of the hospital wing” said Lily as linked arm in arm with me as we headed into Hogsmeade slowly the next Saturday “And, I’m sorry that I made Professor McGonagall see you naked”

“Yeah well you’re lucky you’re so beautiful, I might never have forgiven you otherwise” I said wrapping my arms around Lily as she laughed. We walked hand in hand into Hogsmeade intent on having a date that didn’t end in me naked in Hagrid’s cabin. I hadn’t been able to look Hagrid in the eye since. Not that I ever could in the first place that bloke is TALL

“Not that I didn’t enjoy seeing your naked body” Lily began

“Dude. Stop” I told her “I really, really, really just want to forget that it happened. Hopefully everyone will move on sooner or later”

“Yeah about that” Lily began slowly

I gulped

“What?” I asked “Lily, for god sake what has happened now?”

“Well I didn’t tell you because you were ill and a bit out of it and I was scared, but-“Lily paused again

“Oh my god, please just tell me” I asked desperately

“Well, when we were at the rock, we didn’t realize that there were some paparazzi watching us” Lily began again. God, no. “And when you got naked, they decided to start taking photos. One even filmed it. So… anyway, pretty much every gossip magazine in the country, and I think America, has had it as their front cover headline for the past week. And the video may have gone viral of WizTube…”

“I’m going to die” I said weakly “I’m actually going to be fucking killed. By your dad. Or James. Or any male members of your family who now know and they’re all going to tear me limb from limb. Oh god, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever”

“You’re so cute when you’re stressed” said Lily sitting me down on a rock as I began to hyperventilate. I wasn’t asthmatic but I sure as hell could have done with an inhaler. Lily rubbed my back affectionately until I returned to normal breathing pace “Look Oliver, it’s not ideal and I’m not exactly thrilled that the world has seen my fat thighs-“

“You’re perfect” I assured her “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world”

Lily smiled and blushed

“You do melt my heart sometimes Oliver” she said kissing me “And don’t worry, I’m sure that no one from my family is going to kill you. They all really like you and there all kind of against the whole murder thing”

“I bet James isn’t” I said “He’s going to hunt me down, he’s going to kill me and he won’t even do it the wizard way he’ll make it long, slow and painful”

“He can try” said Lily determinedly “If James comes after you, he’s going to have to get through me first. Which he won’t, because I’m his sister and his kryptonite. There’s no way he’s going to do anything”

“Are you sure?” I asked

“Very” said Lily “Now come on, let’s shop until we drop” she dragged me up by the hand

“I thought we were going for lunch and then a walk” I protested

“The shopping is the walking you fool” said Lily “Besides; the bags will do your muscles some good. You’ve got some serious Quidditch practice to do before we crush this time next week”

“I was kind of hoping that the keeper would be back on his feet before now” I said “I’m so nervous, and that guy has been out for a month. He’s shown no signs of getting better; shouldn’t we be more worried”

“I guess” shrugged Lily “Now come on, Lily wants some new shoes”

Merlin, I can’t express how much shopping disgusts me. I hated it. The only reason I put up with it was because I was with Lily and I hated being apart from her. I’d entered the stage of the relationship where I missed her whenever I wasn’t in direct contact with her. It was getting ridiculous; just a few days before we’d been sat apart in Potions and though I could see her it was like the hour from hell. I hated it and loved it at the same time. I was pretty sure that how much I loved Lily was driving me pretty crazy as well. I’d always been somewhat off kilter but I was bloody fucking insane now, a few nights before Hogsmeade I locked myself in the dorm and, for whatever reason, cried hysterically and ugly for about ten minutes before shaking off whatever had put me in that emotion in the first place in a second

Love; it does weird things too you 

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