Was all she offered in return, which worked for James because he was more than ready to gravel.
“Vivian I can’t explain to you how sorry I am-I was thinking of myself and the possibility never even crossed my min-“
“Stop James…it’s okay. Really”
She spoke taking a step forward and touching his arm gently.
“I read your letter…about a dozen times.”
She admitted with a blush. James smiled lightly as the conversation began to tip towards his side of the scale.
“It was very sweet…and I need you to know that I do forgive you, but.”
Instantly James’ smile left his expression.
“No Vivian…please don’t say but. Why can’t you just leave it at forgiveness and then we go grab a drink? Why does there have to be a but?”
Vivian sighed and pulled James’ chin up to meet her glance.
“I’m so happy that you accept me…that you love me in spite of all that’s happened, but-“
James interrupted again, resting his forehead on hers as he spoke.
“See…there it is again. Why can’t you just say I’m so happy you love me and then kiss me? Why must you always keep talking?”
Vivian bit her lip like she was chewing on the words she was about to say-making sure they were the right ones for the moment.
“I needed you to know that this isn’t your fault.”
James’ heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. She had been saying everything right, everything he wanted to hear-until this.
“This? What is this Vivian? Is this you dumping me again? Oh, but I should feel better this time around because it isn’t my fault?”
He spoke sarcastically as he pulled away from her. Vi threw her hands in the air from all of her frustration. How could he not understand?
“What did you expect James? That we’d forgive each other and fly off into the sunset? Go back to your flat and make dinner just like before? I can’t be at your flat.”
“Why not? I found out your secret Vivian, it’s not like I’ve broadcasted it across the flu network.”
Vivian pulled something from her pocket and held it out to James who couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the picture. Damn paparazzi.
“I don’t know when they took it, but it’s found its way to the Prophet. Decklin snatched it before anyone could make a story, but I can’t ask him to constantly save me.”
James spoke as he wadded up the picture and shoved it into his pocket, taking a step towards Vivian again.
“So we hang out in the bookshop, or in Lancaster even-I don’t exactly travel by train Vi.”
“I won’t let you leave your entire family behind to be with me James. You’ll end up resenting me and we both know I’m right.”
James ran his hands through his hair-how? How was he possibly losing her again?
“Why do you always make excuses Vi? There’s always someone keeping us apart, but it’s never you. It’s never Vivian’s fault-she’s just trying to protect us. It’s bollox Vi. You’re afraid and I get that, but I don’t understand why running is your only solution.”
James took a step back towards Vivian, taking her hands in his as he finished his speech.
“You’re not running away from us again. Not after I’ve poured my heart out like a sap. You don’t get to just stiffen your lip and walk away from this.”
Vivian stared at the ground. Why was he always able to see through her? Why couldn’t he just accept that their relationship would never work?
“One of us has to James. One of us has to be realistic about our circumstances. You love me in spite of what I am and I love you for that, but not everyone is going to be that tolerant. I know you’ve grown up with everything on a silver platter, but this…us. Going public with this is in that world isn’t going to be a front page story that’s forgotten by the next issue.”
James shook his head back and forth.
“You’re still not telling me the truth Vivian. What are so afraid of? That I’ll change my mind the second people start to whisper?”
“It’ll be louder than whispers James. You’re refusing to see the truth. You’re the wizarding golden boy and I’m a squib-“
“Don’t say that Vi. There’s nothing wrong with you-“
“This is exactly what I’m talking about James. You see me as this perfect person. Up on a pedestal in all my glory, but what’s going to happen when I fall off? Because I’m not perfect James.”
James slowly released Vivian’s hands and used his own to brush away the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.
“Vivian, you get emotionally attached to fictional characters. You snore- and refuse to admit it! You have the attention span of a three year old, which is probably a product of your addiction to coffee. You laugh when I tell a joke, but it’s just to humor me because when you honestly think something’s funny your face scrunches up. You don’t like chocolate-which is a sin, you love being cold and you have the most annoying habit of chewing on the end your damn hair.”
“What the hell is your problem James? Are you trying to piss me off?”
James let out a soft laugh.
“I know you’re not perfect Vivian. And I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I’m not without faults myself. It doesn’t take the Prophet scooping stories for us to figure that out.”
Vivian let out a deep breath, obviously still agitated. She was addressing a real issue, and James was teasing her for it.
“What is your point James? Neither one of us is perfect? That doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to give this a second try.”
Vivian shrugged and started to turn to leave. She had done what she needed to do. She was doing the right thing, the mature thing-if James wanted to be a child about it then so be it. But she didn’t have to listen to it. But James gently grabbed her hand as she turned.
“Vivian wait. Please.”
He spoke softly, seeing he had offended her-which was never his intention. Luckily she did stop and James gently stroked her thumb with his.
“I don’t love you because you’re flawless Vivian. I don’t want to spend every day of my life with you because I think you’re perfect. And I’m not saying this will be easy because I’m nowhere near perfect. But we owe us…we owe this a second chance Vivian because we’re perfect for each other. “
Silence was all that followed. James slowly let go of Vivian’s hand as she stood there stoically, her back to him. James forgot to breath for a moment, not sure what he would do if she didn’t turn back around. Finally James got the breaking point. The point where he couldn’t cling to hope anymore, he couldn’t tell himself that he just wasn’t fighting hard enough. After enough silence, James had to accept that she wasn’t going to be with him. He had done everything he possibly could, but if she wasn’t ready there was nothing he could do.
He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and spoke one last time.
“Goodbye Vivian Wood. I hope you can find where you belong.”
Now it was James’ turn to walk away. He took the first step slowly, still gripping tightly to the idea that she’d stop him. She’d take his hand or he’d hear her footsteps as she ran after him-but he took his second step without either. Then he took his third and fourth-still no sign of Vivian.
What was she doing? Was she really going to let him walk away? <Of course I am> The logical side of her brain spoke. It’s the right thing to do-it’s the mature decision. You’re not ready to be in a serious relationship, you have more important decisions to make than some boy. But then the other side of her brain spoke up…
Her voice hollered down the street and James stopped mid-stride. Her footsteps echoed as she hurried down the cobblestone path towards where he had stopped and turned around.
“You’re brother’s wedding’s in two months right?”
James narrowed his eyes at her, trying to figure out what she was getting at.
“Technically Teddy’s not my brother…but yeh it’s a month or so away.”
A smile spread across Vivian’s face as she finally realized where she belonged.
“You have a date?”
A/N: There ya have it! Wanna know what happens when Vivian and James are out for the wizarding world to see? Well it's too big for just another chapter, so you're going to have to check out the SEQUEL!!! It's Titled, "Muggle" and the first chapter is up now :D Please Review!!!