Chapter 6 : Thought that we were stronger.
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Kaydence hadn’t slept much that night; she had sat up in bed thinking about whether or not Sirius had done something with McKinnon or whether the girls in her dorm were making up rumours. Watching the clock she found herself counting down to the time when she could go to the great hall, hoping that Sirius would show up.
That was where she had found herself now, staring at the entrance to the hall searching for Sirius. She had been sat here for around half an hour now, the food in front of her left untouched, she was too worried to eat.
He finally entered the great hall, looking like he was thinking about something important, worry spread over his face. He looked up at her and then stopped walking, he turned back around and exited the hall, Kaydence grabbed her bag and ran after him, ignoring the protests of the people she shoved passed to get to him.
He was already turning around the corner when she caught up to him, he opened the door to an empty classroom and they both went inside, shutting the door behind them.
Kaydence turned to face Sirius, and tried to ignore the worry that filled his face, he looked like he wanted to tell her something, something she didn’t want to hear.
“I’m sorry,” Kaydence said hurriedly as he opened his mouth to speak, “I fell asleep whilst watching Severus play chess with Raleigh and when I woke up it was ten at night. And Slughorn wouldn’t let me leave, and I couldn’t send you a note because my owl wasn’t back and everyone was still awake and...”
“Kaydence,” he said slowly and sadly, as though it was causing him pain to say what he was going to say.
Kaydence stopped herself speaking, scared of what he would say, scared that it was going to change everything, scared that he was going to leave her, scared that they wouldn’t be together anymore. Scared that this was the end.
“I have something to tell you,” he told her, not looking at her, his hands shoved in his pockets
“They saw you, the girls in my dormitory,” Kaydence said without thinking, Sirius looked up in shock, “they saw you with McKinnon...” she almost whispered the name and could feel tears filling her eyes, she willed herself not to cry.
“What did they see?” he asked quickly, looking up at her, she couldn’t tell the look in his eyes. It was like he had shut her out.
“Why? Have you got something to hide?” she asked angrily.
“She kissed me,” he said suddenly, “I didn’t know she was going to...”
Kaydence felt like she had been punched in the stomach, she felt sickness and a pain run through her, pain she had never felt before.
“Did you stop her?” she asked, she didn’t want to know the answer but she had to.
Sirius went quiet, Kaydence knew the answer straight away, she felt her tears run down her face.
“Is that all that you done?”
Sirius shook his head in sorrow, Kaydence felt like her world was crashing around her. She walked away from him, anger and hurt making themselves known.
“Why? Is it because I failed to meet you? Because I wasn’t there for you to ‘get with’ you run off with the next thing that’s available?” she screamed angrily, Sirius looked at her darkly.
“It’s not like that and you know it,”
“No, I don’t know it Sirius!” she told him tearfully, “you go on and on about me and how I might have this ‘thing’ with Aedan when in fact it was you who was the unfaithful one.”
“I wouldn’t have had them thoughts if you hadn’t have given me reason to!”
Kaydence felt her mouth open with shock.
“How dare you blame me for something which you done,” she growled glaring hard at him, he glared back at her, “you’re the one who had these thoughts in your head. Not once was I concerned about you hanging around with your friends, especially all those times when Potter tried to set you up with all those girls in our year. And why? Because I trusted you Sirius, I trusted that you wouldn’t have done anything, just like you should have trusted me.”
Sirius took a deep breath, “I did trust you. It’s just, I saw the way you acted around him and the way he acted around you, it’s not normal Kaydi.”
Kaydence flinched at the use of her nickname, she felt sick again as she thought about the direction this conversation was taking, looking up at Sirius she was unsure if he was thinking the same thing.
“I told you nothing was going on and you should have believed me.”
“Yeah I should have, I know that now.”
They both fell silent, neither of them knowing what to say, Kaydence sat down on a desk while Sirius leant against the door watching her, she bowed her head so she didn’t have to look at him.
“When did we become like this?” Kaydence asked him sadly, still refusing to look at him, “how did we let it get this screwed up?”
Sirius shook his head, “I don’t know,” he admitted.
“We said we wouldn’t ever turn out like this, that we would always talk to each other when things got this bad...”
“How can I speak to you about it? I never see you anymore... you spend all your time with him.” Sirius growled.
“And you spend all your time with Potter and Evans,” Kaydence shot back at him.
“We don’t even make time for each other anymore Sirius, I’ve seen you three times in the past two weeks, we used to see each other every day.”
“We must have grown up,” he told her, she looked up at him finally and saw it etched across his face. He knew it was ending just like she did.
“I still love you,” he said, these words seemed to cut at her like a knife, she didn’t want this to end but she could see no way to stop it, she held back her sob. “We should have known this wouldn’t have worked out...”
“Especially when you cheat on me,” she growled angrily.
“I’m sorry,” he told her.
“Sorry doesn’t take it back Sirius,” she stood up again and walked away from him, as he took a step forward, “If you wanted to be with someone else you should have said something, we could have ended things before something like this happened.”
“I didn’t want us to end; it just happened I didn’t even want it to happen.”
“And yet you didn’t stop it when it did.”
“I was hurting Kaydence, you didn’t show up you haven’t shown up to meet me in a while now.”
“So that gives you the right to run off with McKinnon!” she yelled at him, Sirius shook his head.
“No, I’m sorry okay. I can’t express how sorry I am, if I could take it back I would.”
Kaydence swallowed, wiping tears from her eyes.
“I think you were right, we should have known it wasn’t working.”
“It’s for the best,” he admitted.
Kaydence nodded, feeling slightly numb.
“We’re only going to hurt ourselves in the long run,” she admitted, but she didn’t feel like those words were true, wrapping her arms around herself defensively. Sirius nodded slowly.
“Especially now, with what I’m going to do. It’s best if no one will ever find out we’re together so you don’t get involved.”
Kaydence looked up in confusion at his words.
“What do you mean?”
Sirius deliberated for a moment.
“I’m running away from home,” he told her, she was shocked.
“Where would you go?”
“I’ll be going to James’.”
Kaydence thought about what this would mean for him and for them, she knew how much he hated being at home, the way Sirius’s mother had been talking to him, she knew that he was trying to find a way out of the household before she could force him to become one of them.
They looked at each other as the words and situation sank into them.
“So we’re over?” Kaydence asked him not bothering to keep her tears at bay now.
“It seems that we are,” Sirius said sadly he was sitting on a desk near the door now.
Kaydence knew that she was going to burst into tears and break down; she stood up and stormed from the room, before her emotions completely took over. It hurt that Sirius didn’t bother calling after her.
She ran to her common room, not caring that her lesson had already started. She entered her empty dormitory and threw herself onto her bed, where she let her tears take control of her. They were over, her and Sirius were over. She couldn’t believe it had happened.
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