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Open Your Eyes by evans_4eva
Chapter 1 : Open Your Eyes
 
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Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

Severus walked away from the final fight with Lily, knowing that he had finally liberated her from the stigma that had been attached to her all this time through their friendship. He was shaking and felt as though he was going to throw up from the hurt that had flashed across her face at the words he had spoken and wished that he could tear his own tongue out. How could she not see through his facade and know that he was doing her the only favour he possibly could?

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you


***

James threw himself onto his bed and pulled the pillow over his head. Remus glanced at Sirius, who shrugged - they both knew better than to say anything to James for a while. They both just wished that Lily could see this side of James: the uncertain, crushed, heart-broken boy who appeared after every single one of her rejections. James lay there, heart still beating too quickly from the adrenaline rush he got every time he got up the guts to ask her, which never subsided until much later than when she had invariably turned him down. How could she not see how much he wanted her to see the real him? He hated himself for the cocky, arrogant idiot that overtook his personality every time he spoke to her.

My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old


***

Severus watched from afar the way Potter tried to impress Lily, all those stupid jokes and attempted chat up lines, all that false bravado. He could tell that Potter was no more convinced of Lily’s love that he himself was, but he hated Potter for at least being able to hide behind all of the charm and idiocy. Not like Severus.

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts


***

All that James wanted was a chance to prove himself to Lily, to get her to see the true James Potter. He really thought that if he could stop acting like such an idiot around her, she might actually realise that she quite liked him. Then again, it would crush James even more to know that she hated the real him. Maybe that was why he felt as though he had to put on an act all the time when he was around her. It was hard enough to be turned down by her time and time again for his bravado and arrogance. He couldn’t bear for her to turn down the real him.

I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine


***

Severus didn’t know what to do. It had been weeks since Lily had so much as looked at him. It was so weird - she was usually so intuitive...she had always been able to read him before. If only she could just realise that he’d done it for her own good...but then, if she knew that then she’d still be putting herself in danger by being around him...

Tell me that you'll open your eyes
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes


***

That evening, James sought Remus’ advice. “Remus, how can I get Lily to see the real me? I’m so sick of the idiot that comes out as self-defence every time I talk to her! I want her to see the real me, not the class clown who constantly makes a fool of himself.”
Remus stared at him in disbelief. “You’re really serious about her, aren’t you?”

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes


***

Severus glared across the Great Hall at Lily’s back. She was actually talking to Potter and his idiot friends! What on earth was she thinking??? She must be going mad, that was the only answer. Unless they were blackmailing her - or they’d cursed her! There was no way that she would choose to be with them - oh no, she wasn’t laughing, was she? Surely she couldn’t be enjoying herself! But - but...she had always told him that no one got her like he did... ‘Yeah, well, look where that got you both,’ he berated himself bitterly. But surely she didn’t think that she could have some kind of meaningful connection - or even conversation - with them. He knew that Potter fancied her as well as she did, but...there was no way that he could love Lily like Sev did. He knew her, understood her, probably better than she understood herself, let’s be honest.

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
'Cause they don't get your soul or your fire


***

James couldn’t believe it! Lily had finally said yes!! Oh, he owed Remus big time! It was his own stupid fault, that he had never managed to win Lily over before, he realised that now, but even so, she’d said yes!! James was walking on cloud nine, he was elated, he felt as though he was floating with every step he took - and his heart was beating a whole different rhythm - he’d never realised how truly in love with Lily he was before - had never allowed himself to realise, he wouldn’t have been able to take her rejections if he’d let himself love her even a tiny bit more but now...oh, life was just wonderful! He had the most beautiful girl in the world as his girlfriend and he was so in love! Even just holding her hand made his pulse leap and brought a blush to his happy cheeks - and when they kissed! - well, James felt as though he was in heaven! He had never felt so happy and when he compared himself to how terrible he’d been feeling the last few weeks...it was as though Lily had pulled him out of the sad place he had been in and made everything so much brighter.

Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time


***

Severus watched Lily and James from afar, in horror and disbelief. He couldn’t believe that his Lily was with Potter now. He felt like running over to her every time he saw them together, grabbing her shoulders and shaking some sense into her. He imagined begging her on his knees to forgive him, telling her that he would do anything to be in James’ position right now, that his jealousy was all-consuming and that he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, could barely move for the pain it was causing him.

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere


James swallowed nervously. They had been together for months and he was already convinced that they would be together forever. In his pocket was the ring his mother had passed down to him from his grandmother. Today was the day that he would propose to his beautiful Lily Evans. But before he did anything, he wanted to be completely certain that when she looked into his eyes, she saw her soulmate, just as he did when he looked into hers.

I want so much to open your eyes
'Cause I need you to look into mine


Severus felt as if he was going to throw up. Lily had accepted James’ proposal. He had lost her forever. He stayed in bed for four days, refusing to speak to anyone and unable to eat. On the fifth day, he could barely make it to the Great Hall to get breakfast, he was so weak.

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes


James felt someone watching him. He looked up and found himself meeting Severus Snape’s gaze from across the Great Hall. Snape looked terrible: exhausted, miserable and...empty. With a horrible jolt to the stomach, James realised that it must be because of their engagement.

Tell me that you’ll open your eyes
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes


Severus couldn’t break his gaze from James’. They stared at one another, this private shared knowledge holding them together for a moment, closer than they had ever been before. James broke the gaze first, ducking his head. A moment later, he looked back at Severus. He gave him a small smiled. Mouthed, ‘thank you.’

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you


Then the moment was gone.




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