A/N: Thanks for everyone who is still reading this! It is an absolute joy to write. I'll let you get on with it now.
I can't believe what was coming out of Lily's mouth right now. Well her mouth and eyes I suppose.
"It's alright, Lily," I said, wrapping my arm around her hunched over shoulders. She sniffled heartily and wiped her nose on her sleeve of her uniform, which she was wearing on a Saturday.
"No it's not," she shouted, punching the bed before bursting into a fresh round of tears.
"Oh, Dorcas! He doesn't love me anymore!" I kept patting her back repetitively, hoping to get rid of the newly found, not-so-attractive hiccups.
"I thought you didn't care." She choked on herself and breathed heavily before slowing down her heart rate considerably. The tears stopped and she looked at my with her glassy, Christmas themed eyes.
"Dorcas no matter how much I hated him, it's still somebody who loved me. And now he doesn't!" Her shout surprised me and I jumped a little bit before she began to sob again.
"Oh Lily snap out of it! Come on!" She looked at me again with her big, pretty crying face. I don't have a pretty crying face.
"Do you ever think he'll stop loving you?" She crossed her arms and nodded no reluctantly.
"Exactly. Now stop pitying yourself. It's your fault anyway. They were trying to be nice." She turned around to face me, obviously hoping I wouldn't bring up why he was mad at her.
"I asked Sirius about it, and he said Snapey called you a mudblood."
"He would never!" I looked at her skeptically.
"Alright, well he would never again."
"I trust Sirius over Snape anyday."
"I know Dorcas." She wiped her hair out of her eyes and went to put her head in her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed opposite mine, hers.
"What is it Lil?" She seemed utterly exhausted more than anything.
"I'm just tired Dorcas." She glanced up at me resting her chn in her hands now. "You remember last weekend when I told you about what would happen if James and I were, you know, togetherish?"
"I remember," I said, only really remembering how cute Sirius' face looks all red from the cold.
"Well it's happened. Dorcas, I don't like being the center of attention!" I rolled my eyes at her dramatics. Poor girl would have to deal with a lot more when I died. She didn't know how much I did for her.
"You are always the center of attention, Lils!"
"Yeah, sure, academically. I just don't like to be stared at when James and I are kissing or laughing, or when he's holdng my hand!" Had they really already begun with the public displays of affection. Things were escalating quickly.
"Listen, I know it's difficult. Believe me, I do. I've been the center of attention my entire life! You just learn to deal with it. There's no other solution I can come up with."
"But Dorcas, I'm not pretty like you! I have to work to be pretty. I have to be proper and composed. You're always so perfectly goofy and silly."
"Lily you are the prettiest person I know. Now come on, don't pity yourself." She sniffled and brought her arm up to her nose again.
"I know, I know Dorcas. I'm sorry. I think it's worse now. I'm in love with him Dorcas," she wailed, throwing her face into her hands again.
"Calm down Lily. This has been one week of high emotions and you need to step back and think about this. In one year, will you still want to be with James?"
"No. I'll need to be with him."
"Don't be dramatic Lily. Just yes or no?" She grabbed the pillow and squeezed it between her two hands.
"I'm not being dramatic, Doe," she whispered quickly. My mouth opened slightly and I exhaled audibly. Why does everyone else get a happy ending? All I got was shit.
"What happened between you two anyway?"
"Well, he dragged me out into the hall, you saw that part."
"Oh very well."
"Lily what the bloody hell was that about?"
"Me! You were the one picking fights with Severus!" He turned away from me and played with his hair in frustration.
"That was for your own bloody good! You're so goddamn thick-headed sometimes, do you know that?"
"At least I'm not a bloody prick who's head needs a considerable Shrinking charm," I shrieked. He walked back towards me and brushed my hair out of my face.
"Don't cry, flower." I swatted his hand away and stepped backwards myself.
"I told you not to call me flower."
"I told you not to tell me what to do, but that isn't going to change either, dearie," he said, all with a sneer on his face and a sarcastic tone in his voice. He turned on his heel and walked towards the Hufflepuff wing. I think that's where the kitchen is. They always seem to head there. Plus, they always come back with food.
"James," I called after him.
"Then he was gone, and now we're here," she said, with a tone of finality.
"Oh, Lils. It'll be fine. He won't bail on you, I promise. James doesn't have the balls to do that to you." She smiled, got up, and walked over to the bathroom. She leaned against the edge of the sink, stared at herself in the mirror, and then looked back at me with a smile on her face.
"I'm Lily Evans. If I'm scared of James Potter, who wouldn't be?"
I walked down the hallway monotonously, swinging my arms with the pace of my feet. I could feel my heart reaching the ground with every step.Two steps per heartbeat wasn't normal apparently, so I tried to drag out my steps as much as I could; I just wanted to be normal. If there was an award for mood swings it would definitely go to one Lily Evans. She's getting ready right now, with Alice. With Hestia, with Marlene. Without me. I told them I had to go to the bathroom an hour ago, and I still hadn't gotten back. Did anyone even realize that there was a bathroom inside our dormitory? No, of course they didn't, only Lily would but she's too excited right now.
I lifted my sleeve to my bicep, flexing the small veins that now were run with sustaining fluid. A nice present Madam Pomfrey gave me for Halloween. If I got back to the tower now, there would be just enough time for me to get ready, I suppose. I sighed as I finally reached the tower. Hopefully in what would be the last long trek of the day. As I walked into the Common Room, I was attacked with perfumes, lotions, and skinny arms.
"Dorcas, where have you been?" Alice began to drag me up the stairs, her gown already on. Honestly, it was only 6:15, I had plenty of time.
"Honestly, Dorcas! It's 6:15, how do you expect to be ready in time?" I walked in and Hestia was seated (more comfortably than I would like her to be) on my bed doing her makeup.
"I agree, Dorcas," Hestia added. "Apparently Emmeline spent at least three hours preparing for a date with Sirius." I rolled my eyes again.
"The difference is, I'm not Emmeline and Sirius certainly doesn't see me as such." I went over to my closet space and pulled out the dress, finally beginning to put it on.
"He seems to be taking it a lot more seriously than you are, Dorcas," Marlene butted in as she came from the bathroom. Still bitter, was she?
"It's a stupid ball, Marlene. I don't care about Sirius like that, and you're acting absolutely ridiculous right now! It's not as if you don't have a date anyway." The girls all shared glances, excepting Marlene, whose gaze never left mine.
"As a matter of fact, I don't. Not everyone can get a date at the drop of a hat, Dorcas. We all know about you and Nick, as well. Some would consider it common courtesy for a girl to go after one boy at a time. Clearly the thought hadn't crossed your spoilt mind."
"If you consider me spoiled, I will start a petition to get your mental state checked as soon as possible," I scoffed.
"Not everyone gets what they want Dorcas! You're an insufferable, selfish, bitch. You think that just because the Marauders like you that you're some sort of special? Do you think that anyone gives a shit that your parents died anymore? We're all bored with the story." She stepped forward and finished zipping up the side of my dress as I stood there in astonmishment. "And anyone who says they aren't is lying straight to your face." I walked away from her. I didn't want to cry, I most definitely didn't want to think about my family right now. Mary and her friend Ashley came in, all giggly and joyful before noticing the tension in the room.
"You don't have anything to say, Dorcas?" I looked over at Hestia, who clearly needed a good talking to so she can finally learn when to shut up. I turned back to look at Marlene who was clearly waiting for me to answer.
"If you don't want me to go with Sirius I won't. If you don't want me to go out at all tonight, I won't. You're right, I'm spoiled anyway." The room was silent, and we heard the ruckus from the Common Room, but only faintly.
"I don't want you to go to the ball with Sirius." I nodded politely, smirking inside at her frustration that I refused to fight. This was pitiful. I simply didn't have time for these frivolities. I would let her win if she wanted, it would all end soon anyway.
"I won't then." I undid the dress she helped me into and laid it on the dresser next to me. I looked at the clock against the wall and noticed the time.
"It's nearing 7:00 girls, you might as well get downstairs." The shocked stares looked at me in disbelief. I had to agree. If I was watching myself, I'd think I was possesed.
"Come on," I said cheerfully, my voice shaking, "Would you rather stand here and watch me be half naked all night?" I shimmied provocatively, but it was only half-hearted, and it wouldn't take Lily's brain to notice it. The tension in the room was immesnly thickening and I glared at Hestia again. It would be so much easier to blame everything on her. The girls mostly tittered quietly, and made their way downstairs to meet with their dates. Lily stayed in her position against the window pane, a look of true malice in her eyes. As soon as all the girls besides Lily and Alice had left, I let out a large breath I hadn't even realized I was holding in.
"Oh dear, it's alright," Alice muttered as she rushed over to me, patting my shoulder comfortingly. I let out a shuddering breath, trying to get over the lump in my throat.
"What the hell was that Dorcas?" Alice glared at Lily and continued patting my shoulder, sitting me down next to her.
"Lily, I'm just not in the mood for a fight tonight." She looked at me inquisitively and furrowed her brow before speaking again.
"I don't believe that for a second, Doe. You've been waiting for a reason to yell at Marlene for years. If that wasn't it, then I don't know when you're going to get another chance." I took Alice's hand off of my back and held it gently.
"I want you to go. I want you two to have fun, and I don't want anyone to mention what happened. If anyone asks, I'm sick. I don't care what vicious rumors they're spreading about me, I just don't need this to turn into a big thing." I laid back on my bed, and splayed my arms above my head, playing with the carvings on the headboard.
"Dorcas, if you just tell us what's wrong, then we can-"
"Go," I shouted. "Just go." Alice stood up reluctantly and I closed my eyes even though I knew they were making these huge eyes they made when they tried to communicate without talking.
"We'll be back before midnight, Doe. What should we tell Sirius?" Oh right. I kind of completely forgot I actually had a date. Man, I hate Saturdays.