Chapter 13 : Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)
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The smexy image of Sirius was made by me!
“All in all you're just another brick in the wall.” – Pink Floyd, 1979
Sirius Black knew the exact location of every freckle on Gemma Rawnsley’s body but still felt the same intense desire every time she took off her clothes. She was a breath of fresh air and he couldn’t help but continually crave her ethereal spirit. Her joyous giggles and playful nature literally made him weak in the knees. As Sirius began to kiss the side of her neck, he inhaled her cinnamon scent. She smelled delicious. He softly pushed her against the pillows on his bed and hastily whipped the curtains closed. The Marauder had warned his friends not to come into their dorm room for at least another hour but he didn’t want to take any chances.
Yet, as he hovered over her to resume his nuzzling, she yawned loudly.
“S-sorry!” she apologized and quickly tried to cover up another yawn. “Right, let’s try this again. Oh, Sirius!”
“It doesn’t work that way,” he grumbled as he turned over onto his back. “Now it sounds like I’m forcing you to have sex with me.”
“Don’t be silly,” she laughed. “I always love a good tumble in the sheets with you … just not right now. I’m too exhausted to move. I haven’t been sleeping well, I barely got up for class this morning.”
“I would have woken you up on time,” he cajoled softly in her ear.
“No, you would have made it even harder to get out of bed,” she teased as she turned onto her side and lightheartedly kissed him on his cheek. She then began to twirl his long black hair with her fingers. “I know you want me to stay here but I can’t do it every night. It would disrupt my dream cycle and it’s already pretty fucked up.”
“I don’t get it,” Sirius said, scrunching his eyebrows as he turned to face her.
“Ok,” she began but then suddenly stopped. She glanced upwards and bit her lip. “Ok, let’s see if I can explain this properly. Every Seer has a special way of interpreting time. For instance, Professor Garside specializes in fire-omens while the previous Divination Professor could look into her crystal ball and tell you anything you wanted to know. But me? I work with dreams, baby. When I go to sleep, I see crazy shit. The future, the past - doesn’t matter. It’s all there in my head.”
“So what have you seen involving me?” he grinned. “If I constantly dream about you, you have to be doing the same about me.”
“Well that’s the thing,” she answered sheepishly as she unknowingly scratched the back of her head, “I’m not very good at interpreting the things I see. I just get flashes and snippets in time. Everything is hazy and unclear.”
“Ask your Professor to help interpret your visions then.”
“Professor Garside doesn’t specialize in oneiromancy, remember? He’s only here because Dumbledore funds his ongoing research on fire Divination. He tells me over and over again to read The Dream Oracle because he’s too busy with his workload. But it’s just a textbook we have to read to pass our OWLs. It doesn’t really go into a whole lot of detail.”
“So you’ve never figured any of your dreams out before?”
“Well, yes and no.”
“ ‘The fuck does that mean?” Sirius growled. A large wave of annoyance crashed over him.
“Calm down Sirius,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “I only meant that it depends on what size dream we’re talking about.”
“There are different dream sizes?” he asked scathingly.
“Merlin, I knew most people didn’t pay attention in Divination but I thought you’d at least know the basic facts,” she muttered as she crossed her arms. “I see two sizes of dreams – some are small, some are big. I can deal with the small dreams. They make up most of my nightly visions and have very simple theoretical designs. I usually don’t pay attention to their meanings though. They are like background noise, if you catch my drift. The big dreams, on the other hand, are fucking destructive. They disrupt my circadian rhythms and my visions start to spin out of control. So no, I’ve never been able to fully understand a big dream on my own before. I usually bounce my theories off Gio but I’m still very new to this whole ‘interpreting’ thing.”
“… So you can’t sleep in my bed because you think you’ll get nightmares.”
“I know I’ll have nightmares.”
“Huh?” Sirius questioned. “How can you -”
“Because I’ve already had them here before,” she muttered, looking away from him. He immediately reached out and grabbed her bare shoulder; she inhaled sharply and shook under his touch. He eyed her quizzically as his hand slowly slipped back to his side.
“Gemma, what exactly did you see?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“What do you mean you can’t tell me?” Sirius snapped as his mood turned from understanding to accusatory. He immediately felt the green-eyed monster inside him roar to life. “You said you bounce your ideas off Gio … so why can’t you do the same with me? Is it because you think I’m stupid? No, it has to be something more than that. It’s because you love him, isn’t it? You -”
“Sirius!” Gemma cried out desperately, her eyes wild and chaotic as she reached her arms towards him. “Sirius, stop it!”
In a fit of rage, the Gryffindor swatted her hands away and immediately flipped over onto his other side. His breaths were rough and strained as he grabbed the nearest pillow and violently wrapped his arms around it. As he started to rock back and forth, he convinced himself that she was lying to him. She had to love her best friend Giovanni; it was the only explanation for why she would be holding back her inner feelings.
She was running away from him again and breaking her promise. Something deep inside him ached as he began to see red.
As he crushed the pillow with his vice grip, he suddenly felt Gemma’s cold hand on his shoulder. It slipped down around his torso and she pressed her bare chest to his back as she nuzzled her face in his neck. Chills ran down his spine and his anger instantly vanished when he felt hot tears trickle onto his cheek.
“I love you, Sirius Black,” Gemma whispered into his ear, “and I don’t understand why you think I don’t.”
“But you’re still not going to tell me your dream, are you?” Sirius asked mournfully as he turned over to face her. She frowned and he slowly reached out and wiped several tears from her face. She looked so broken and unhappy and Sirius couldn’t help but hate himself for turning her exuberant psyche into a blubbering mess.
“It’s not because I don’t want to let you in,” the Hufflepuff murmured as she wrapped her hand around his outstretched arm, “I just want to keep this big dream to myself. I’ve been connected to someone’s painful past and I don’t want to reveal his identity. I have no bloody clue who the person is but I’m sure as hell not trying to get him killed. I have to figure this one out by myself.”
She bit her lip and then looked away as her lips formed a sharp, angry frown.
“I’m not even telling Gio about what I’ve seen, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Oh Gemma,” the Marauder pleaded as he stroked her cheek softly, “I’m sorry -”
“No,” she answered as she shook her head gently, “no I get it. You want me to open up, right? Well fine. I’ll open up.” She huffed audibly as another fat tear rolled down her cheek.
“Before you came along, I only messed around with Muggle boys I’d meet at my parents’ club. That’s why I don’t sleep with wizards – I don’t want to risk running into them again. So I’d meet blokes during shows, go out for a smoke, have a little fun, and then disappear. And that’s what I thought was going to happen when things turned groovy between us, given your reputation. That’s why I shagged you without hesitation. I thought we’d have a night of fun and then go on with our lives. But that didn’t happen.”
Sirius couldn’t help but nod in agreement. He sucked in a deep breath, transfixed by her words, and realized that everything she said rang true for him as well.
“I fell in love with you that night,” she sighed, “but refused to admit it for a very long time. And I did the only thing I knew how to do to do – I ran. And I’m sorry for that. But I couldn’t go on without you in my life. I still can’t. You’re everything to me Sirius. I’ve never been this loyal to anyone before, not even my parents.”
“Well I’ve never been very loyal to my parents, so I can’t say the same,” Sirius chuckled as he slowly felt the tension leave the room. He snaked a hand around Gemma’s waist and her pink lips formed a beaming smile. “But I can tell you that I’ve never felt this way before either. You’re electric, baby.”
“Meow,” Gemma purred and then burst into a fit of giggles. “Well you triggered a sizeable amount of big dreams, you know.”
“I did?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes,” she smiled as she laced her fingers through his, “yes you did. And do you know what Gio said when I told him that I was dreaming about a large black dog? He said I fancied you even though I didn’t want to admit it and that I should stop running.” Her smile turned into a slight scowl as she shoved him roughly. “So don’t you ever fucking say that I love Giovanni. You’re the one I love, you idiot!”
“You’re absolutely right,” Sirius said. His words dripped with sorrow and remorse; he felt horrible for letting his jealousy get out of control when she clearly wasn’t going to leave him. “And I am a complete and utter fool for doubting you. Can you forgive me?”
“Well,” she answered deviously as color returned to her cheeks, “I might have to inflict some punishment before I can do that.”
“Punishment, eh?” Sirius said and his senses perked up immediately. His inner canine wagged its tail furiously with excitement.
“You have to run down to the kitchens and fetch me a mushroom and swiss cheese omelet with a side of cheesecake,” the Hufflepuff smirked as she rolled over onto her other side and curled into a ball. “And I’m going to catch up on my sleep while you do. Oh and be a doll and get me some green tea too, ok? Love you!”
Although he would have preferred a more sexual sentence, he couldn’t help but grin as she yawned loudly and closed her swollen eyes. He kissed the top of her head and then muttered “I love you” several times in her ear. She laughed lightly and told him to hurry as he threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of denim jeans. He glanced at his now snoring girlfriend before shuffling down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.
“You were that quick, eh Padfoot?” James Potter called out from the other side of the room. “You always said you were the master lover and I never believed you until now.”
Sirius couldn’t help but let out a loud, barking laugh as he trotted over to join his best friends. Peter was playing the Head Boy in a game of exploding snap and Remus sat on the windowsill, staring aimless out at the grounds. Sirius grimaced. He hated seeing his werewolf friend this depressed but obeyed the sacred Marauder law. He plopped into an open chair and swung his legs over the armrest.
“We actually had a bit of a row,” he explained. “And since I was being a stupid git, I’m supposed to run down to the kitchens for her while she snoozes.”
“You survived your first fight?” Peter asked incredulously as he put another card on the table. “I think that’s a first.”
“I’m not surprised. He loves her,” Remus added softly from his perch. Sirius still heard the distress in his voice.
“Well of course he loves her,” James joked as he continued playing the card game. “He’s going down to the kitchens to get her a second dinner!”
“I can’t help that Gemma has weird eating habits,” the pureblood countered as he shoved the Head Boy playfully. Seconds later, one of the cards in his hand exploded and Sirius almost died laughing at James’ untidy and burnt hair.
“You filthy bugger! You cost me the game!” the boy cried as he lunged and tried to tackle his best friend. Sirius quickly jumped out of his chair and sidestepped the attack. James immediately fell onto the floor and moaned in pain as his head smacked the carpet.
“Man, you need to work on your Quidditch reflexes Prongs. I’ll get you some ice,” Sirius cackled as he swiftly plucked the Marauder’s Map out of James’ back pocket. “Be back in a sec. Gemma’s passed out in my bed but I swear that girl can sleep through anything so don’t hesitate to go up there.”
Before James could retaliate and trip him, Sirius swiftly exited the common room and made his way down to the kitchens. He knew the route by heart and yearned to run recklessly without the Map’s guidance. However, his sensible side prevailed and he cautiously roamed the halls until he reached the kitchens. After tickling his favorite portrait, the Marauder greeted the Hogwarts house elves graciously and placed his off the wall order. They eagerly whipped up a glorious feast and Sirius made sure to properly say goodbye to each and everyone of them before he returned to the halls once again. His good humor clouded his judgment and he carelessly carried Gemma’s meal in his hands instead of paying attention to the Map.
“Well, if it isn’t the traitor.”
The Gryffindor immediately whipped around and thoughtlessly dropped his girlfriend’s entire midnight snack onto the floor. His right hand grabbed his wand out of his pocket without delay as Rabastan Lestrange cackled maniacally. Behind him, Thorfinn Rowe clapped eagerly and Serverus Snape let out a soft hissing noise. Sirius felt his fury quadruple when he saw that his younger brother, Regulus Black, was with them as well. They were standing in front of one of the exits to Hogsmeade and Sirius instantly knew they were up to something sinister.
“What are lot doing out after hours?” he sneered.
“Oh, you know,” Thorfinn answered with a deep laugh, “same reason as you. We couldn’t sleep.“ He punctuated the last two words with air quotations.
“I can sleep just fine thank you very much.”
“Looks like you’ve been to the kitchens,” Serverus scoffed as he puffed out his chest and motioned to the ruined meal on the floor.
“Congratulations Sniv, you have eyes,” Sirius replied mockingly.
“What an odd assortment,” Regulus pondered quizzically and dramatically placed a hand to his chin. “Tell me brother, when did you suddenly start craving cheesecake? If I remember correctly, you refused to eat it a couple Christmases ago and told Mother to shove it up her nose. And green tea? Now, that’s peculiar. You never liked that either … wait a second, does this mean the rumors are true? Has the little bitch really made you her errand boy?”
Sirius felt his fury consume him. Although he could tolerate the other Slytherins’ jeers, his brother’s words always stung the most. Painful memories flooded his brain – his mother sending him seven howlers after he’d been sorted into Gryffindor, his father striking him when he told him he was a fucking bastard straight to his face, Regulus remaining silent as he dodged several killing curses during his great escape to the Potter’s house after his Fifth Year - and Sirius relived his entire childhood in a matter of seconds.
“Fuck you,” he spat. “You’re nothing but a Wizard's Chess pawn – useless and expendable.”
His taunt trigged an all out assault. Sirius quickly dodged several spells and ducked around the nearest corner. He launched several curses at the bellicose Slytherins and cackled when he finally hit Thorfinn in the chest with a stinging hex.
“Gotcha, you asshole! Now who’s next?”
“FOR MERLIN’S SAKE, STOP THIS BLOODY INSANITY!”
The boys instantly froze when they realized that the loud angry voice belonged to the Seventh Year Ravenclaw Prefect, Marianne Minot.
“I had a funny feeling I’d run into trouble tonight,” she muttered as she lightly rubbed her temples and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Now you boys know the drill. Five points for being out of bed after hours, ten points for fighting. Each. Now scram before I dock more from your houses.” As she huffed loudly, Sirius couldn’t help but notice that she looked uncharacteristically frazzled; her school robes were extremely wrinkled and her hair looked frayed and untidy.
The Slytherins grumbled but Marianne refused to budge and tapped her foot impatiently. They eventually caved to the girl’s authority and jammed their wand into their pockets. Before he turned to leave, Regulus returned Sirius’ fierce glare and the Gryffindor snapped his teeth menacingly. Marianne stepped in before his brother had the chance to retaliate.
“That’s it!” she exclaimed as she pushed the two Blacks apart. “Five more points for each of you. Now if you don’t return to your common rooms this instant, I will give you all a month’s detention with Professor Slughorn. He’s got a lot of dirty cauldrons.”
After eyeing Marianne hungrily, Rabastan clucked his tongue and motioned for his housemates to follow him down to the dungeons. The Prefect let out a huge sigh and raised her brow when she realized that she was not alone like she thought.
“You too, Sirius.”
“Yes ma’am,” he whispered hoarsely. The boy’s anger suddenly morphed into a sharp, throbbing sadness. He put his wand back into the pocket of his jeans and hung his head mournfully before heading back to the kitchens to ask the house elves to repeat their earlier efforts.
Author’s Note: Ok, so I lied. I was able to get this one off pretty quickly because I FREAKING LOVE SIRIUS/GEMMA. It’s not 100% perfect but I don’t have time to put the finishing touches on it.
I’ve looked at my schedule and I am literally going to be writing papers/studying/taking finals every day for the two weeks. And then I graduate and make the long 3 day drive back to my hometown of San Francisco. The ride should provide me with enough time to write but the next update will definitely not be out until the second week of May.
BUT YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE IT BECAUSE IT INVOLVES JILY AND SOMETHING REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT HAPPENS.
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