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Psychos and Psychologists by Holly_Mist
Chapter 2 : Problem Number Two
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 8

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fantastic chapter image by sandamaiko @ tda 


I swear it’s the national food of heaven. I mean just look at them. They have a pretty peach colour and when you add maple syrup they turn into a beautiful light brown. And they taste so sweet and chewy and you just want to gobble them up.

Seriously, it’s bliss.

Which is why I was very upset when Louis jumped onto me today breakfast and made me drop all my waffles. When I say ‘jumped onto me’ – I mean it. The kid literally jumped onto my back making me thump my head on the table and making me drop my waffles.

I am not a bed, people. I am a girl. A healthy, alive girl who prefers not to be jumped upon. All these blokes have it in for me. First James and now Louis.

“Owwww.” I moaned, rubbing my head.

“Sorry.” Louis panted “But I needed to tell you something.”

“So you couldn’t come and tell me like a normal person? I asked, irritated.

“Yeah. Yeah.” Louis waved the matter away. “I did it.”

“Did what?”


That clears everything up.

“Okay. No using words with less than two alphabets.” I told him.

“How immature are you Rocky?” Louis rolled his eyes. “I had sex.”

I was just called immature by the boy who was too afraid to say the word ‘sex’. Yeah we all know who’s the immature one here, Louis.

“Great.” I deadpanned.

“Why are you not go-go gadget about this?” Louis asked, frustrated at my lack of response.

I blink at him. Go-go gadget? Really?

“Because of my lack of interest in your sex life?” I suggested.

“But I slept with Nell.”

Oh. That would explain her empty bed, which Rose, Kenny and I were pondering over this morning.

When I didn’t answer, Louis said. “You know Nell, your best friend.” He reminded me.

Thanks Louis. I had forgotten.

“Okay.” I said, putting maple syrup over my new plate of waffles, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I felt something.”

I looked at him disbelievingly. Really? No shit Louis.

He looked at my expression and amended hastily. “I meant emotionally.”

That caught my attention. Louis felt something? Does that mean he likes Nell? Will he ask her out? Will they have babies together?

“EEEEEEEEE.” I squealed, putting my hands to my mouth as if Louis had just announced that he’s proposing to Nell.

Louis put his hands to his ears, screwing up his face.

I shook his shoulders. “Do you like her?!”


“But you felt something!”

“But I don’t like her.”

“Yes you do!”






Then he realized his mistake. “Wait! No! I meant no!”

“Aha!” I grin triumphantly. “You do like her!”

He groaned, putting his face in his hands. “Okay. Yes, I do.”

I squealed once again.

“Since when?” I ask.

“Since about six hours.” His voice came, muffled.

Then he looked up from his hands, which revealed his panicked expression.

“You can’t tell her!” He shook my shoulders. “Promise me!”

I rolled my eyes. “Relax. I won’t.”

Louis sighed in relief. “Thanks Rocky.”

He leaned forward to give me a hug and then pulled away almost immediately.

“Nell’s is coming this way! What do I do?” He asked me, flapping his arms hysterically looking like a demented chicken.

I patted him consolingly. “Act normal.”

“Normal. Right.” He muttered under his breath.

Then Louis started contorting his face into several odd expressions.

Expression one: scrunched up eyes and a classic teenage duck face.

Expression two: Eyes wide with his mouth gaping so wide open that a bird could build a bloody nest in there.

I stared at him, raising my eyebrow.

“I said to act normal, not like a constipated donkey.” I say, stifling a laugh.

Louis stopped trying to deform his face and glared at me, but his glare melted as Nell approached.

“Hi Louis.” Nell smiled at him, looking completely at ease.

Huh. I guess she was pretty cool with the whole thing. It’s nice to know that at least one person in their relationship is sane.

“H-hi.” Louis stammered.

Stammering is not the code for normal Louis.

Nell sat down beside him, giving a peck on his cheek and then started grabbing her food from the various china plates that were spread out in front of us looking completely relaxed while Louis sat there like a statue.

“So, where are the others?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Kenny, Rose and Scorpius are trying to find Jake’s camera.” Nell responded.

Jake was the photographer of our group. He loved taking pictures and he especially loved taking video’s of all our moments together. Jake wanted to work in the muggle world as a filmmaker, as the wizarding world didn’t make movies. His wizarding camera was basically his only practice for his future profession.

“Okay.” I said, munching on my waffles. Mmmm. They tasted so goooood.

“I FOUND IT!” Jake ran into the great hall, waving his camera in the air, with a big grin on his face.

Kenny, Rose and Scorpius ran behind him, panting.

“You found it?” Scorpius glared at Jake.

“We found it.” Jake compensated.


They continued to bicker over who found the camera, while seating themselves on the table.

“So, what did McGonagall want from you last night?” Rose asked me curiously.

Fuck. I had avoided my friends last night by going straight to bed, hoping they would all forget about in the morning.

Damn that girl’s memory.

“Um, it was about the homework I didn’t turn in.” I lied.

A smile threatened to creep on my face. I’m absolute shit at lying to people. I always end up smiling like a moronic pedophile.

“Then why would she specially call you to her office?” Rose inquired. “I mean she could just ask you about that in class.”

Damn this girl’s brain. Damn it to hell and back.

“Because she think’s that I have a lot of potential to do well in transfiguration.” No she doesn’t. I’m absolute shit at it. I wonder why I even took it at N.E.W.T level.

Rose raised her eyebrows. She knows how crappy I am at transfiguration.

I avoided looking at her by staring at my waffles, because I knew if I glanced at her, I would start smiling.

“Oh. If you say so.” She said, her voice dubious.

I looked up to see a sort of hurt expression on her face. The four of us never kept secrets from each other, which is why I felt extremely guilty for lying to her.
I decided to tell her the truth when I saw Albus walk into the great hall with an extremely surly and zonked out expression plastered onto his face.

“I swear Ro. That’s what she called me for.” I don’t know why, but somehow looking at Albus, I felt compelled to lie to her.

“So, did you speak to your cousin?” I asked her, in an attempt to change the topic.

“No, I didn’t.” She said. “I will though, during lunch. Or whenever I meet him.”

“Hey guys!” Kenny interrupted our conversation. “Let’s get moving or we’ll be late for old Sluggy’s class!”

In all this morning’s drama, I realized that I had barely eaten my waffles.

“I haven’t finished my waffles yet!”

“Come on!” Scorpius dragged me, when I say drag I mean it literally, parting me from my beloved waffles.

* * *

Potions was a bore. Slughorn just gave us the instructions on which potion to do and then he started droning his classic ‘I helped Harry Potter win’ soliloquy.

Albus was in this class. He normally smiled and answered politely when Sluggy asked him about his father but today he just flared up.

“I don’t give a fucking shit about what my father’s done.” He said, livid, with his face turning red. “And, if you have any questions – ask my father. Not me!” Albus snapped.

With that, Albus grabbed his books and walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.

And for the second time in a time span of 12 hours, a teacher stared dumbfounded at their perfect student’s behavior.

* * *

“Hey little sistaaaaa.” My brother Seth sat down next to me, scuffing up my hair.

“Seth.” I whined. “Stop messing up my hair!”

“Big brother’s mess up little sister’s hairs.” He informed me.

“This is the last time you mess up my hair. Got it?” I told him as sternly as I could knowing full well he’d do it again.


“Got it.” He grinned at me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I leaned into his chest and smiled, feeling relaxed.

I guess I should tell you a little bit about my brother.

His name is Seth (incase you’re stupid and haven’t already inferred); he’s a year older than me so he’s currently in the seventh year. His best friends are James Potter (prat) and Fred Weasley. They call themselves the three musketeers.

Original, I know.

He, like me, has inherited our estranged mother’s black hair and chocolate brown eyes. My friends have a customary thing of winking at him whenever they see him.

It’s makes me very uncomfortable. I mean guys! He’s my brother. Stop hitting on him. Seriously.

To me, Seth is more than my brother. He’s my guardian. He has been ever since our father died when I was five; my mother dropped us off at an orphanage. She couldn’t handle being a single mother.

Someone give her the best parent award.

During those times, Seth was the one to comfort me. He always told me she was worthless piece of shit (kids in the orphanage like swearing a lot). A lot of parents wanted to adopt him. But he always stayed behind. He could have had a perfect family and forget that he didn’t have a sister but he didn’t.

And, that made all the difference in the world.

I love my brother, I really do.

“So.” Seth said, breaking me out of my inner monologue. “I need your help.”

“What for?”

“I like Kenny.” He said, flushing.

I sat up, looking at him with interest. My brother wasn’t a womanizer unlike his best friends. Usually when he liked a girl, it meant that the girl meant something to him.

“Kenny huh?” I waggled my eyebrows at him.

He stared at me. “Please never do that again. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Do you want me to help you or not?” I asked, pretending to be angry.


“Then let me waggle my eyebrows.”

“But you look like a creepy witch.” Was his lovely response

“Hey! I do not look creepy!” I cried affronted. “And I am witch you moron!”

“Yeah, but you look the hag witches when you do that. You know the ones with the big ugly noses and the humongous moles on their faces.” He said.

You know the thing I said about loving my brother? I take that back. I currently hate him with passion.

“Not helping you.” I muttered taking a bite out of my food.

“Aw, sorry Coco.” He said, giving me a puppy dogface.

Ha! Sorry big brother, I never fell for that face.


“Please, please, please, PLEASE.” He got down his knees, locked his hands together in front of me, as if he was praying.

“What are you doing?” I hissed at him.

I do have a reputation to keep up you know. I can’t have brother acting like a maniac.

“CORAL CARTER.” He announced loudly, getting up and standing on the table. “YOU WILL NOT HELP ME? YOUR OWN BROTHER? YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD?”

Oh. My. God.


Um. Do you guys know how much it costs to keep somebody in a mental institution? My brother needs some serious help.

“Yeah!” A voice came.

“Who doesn’t help their own brother?” Another voice.

Suddenly they all started chanting. “HELP HIM. HELP HIM. HELP HIM.”

Seth smirked at me. “So, are you going to help me or what?”

Fuck you Seth. Fuck you. I hope you rot in the deepest depths of fiery hell.


Smirk while you can Seth. You don’t have very long to live.

“FINE!” I yelled out, resigned.

I hate my brother.

* * *

I sat down in an empty transfiguration classroom, doing my ridiculously hard transfiguration essay, waiting for my latest patient.

The elemental laws of transfiguration state

Ugh. I didn’t even bring my textbook with me. What are the laws? I think it’s something about food…

I stared at my parchment trying to figure out the annoying laws of transfiguration when I heard a mystical voice, with a slight accent.

“Good evening.”

I looked up to see a tall blonde haired girl looking at me shyly.

“Hello.” I smiled at her.

“Heck-lo.” She corrected me. “Hell is an evil place and so it mustn’t be mentioned in such a friendly and pure environment.”


Some first year puked in this classroom the other day. I assure you, it’s far from pure.

I gestured towards the chair in front of me. “Take a seat.”

She sat down and looked around the classroom with distaste. “Your classrooms are very dull. In Finland, our classroom used to be filled with colour. Yours are just plain and boring.”

“Yes, well, it helps us concentrate.” I said, liking this girl less and less.

She looked at me and said, “I suppose we must discuss the reason as to why I am here.”

“That would be advisable.” I replied.

“My name is Adelina.” She began.

Realization hit me. “You’re that new exchange student from Helsinki!” I exclaimed. No wonder she sounded foreign.

“Heck-sinki.” She corrected me once again. “We must not…”

“Right. Pure place. Got it.” I cut her off. “So, what can I do for you Adelina?”

“Well, I have a problem.”

Obviously.” I couldn’t resist at the jab.

“I engaged in intercourse over the summer under the effects of alcohol.” She said, her face reddening.

“You’re pregnant?” I guessed, my eyes wide.

“No! Of course not.” She said that as if the possibility was of that happening was non-existent.

“Then?” I asked, confused. What other problem could she possibly have?

“You do not understand! I am not married and I have conducted myself in such a manner!”

“Ohhh.” I finally understood her problem.

“What should I do?” She groaned.

“Well, what’s done is done. You can’t change your past.” I said gently. “It’s time to move on. Just pray to God, and all will be fine again.”

That sounded so inspirational and deep. I’m proud.

She looked at me for a moment. “I did not consider the possibility of praying to God in fear that he would not like me anymore since I committed such a crime.” She admitted.

“God loves and forgives all.” I said wisely.

I’m so deep. I should get an award.

She stood up. “Thank you for the advice, Coral. I must now bid you adieu.”

Adieu? Really? Girl, this is the twenty-first centaury. Not the fifteen hundreds.

“Kay. Bye.” Was my modern response.

I went back to my transfiguration essay after she left, once again pondering over the stupid laws.

‘The elemental laws of transfiguration state that all things can be converted to waffles provided that maple syrup is present near the object.’

I think this is the line that will fetch me an O. Yep, that’s me – Coral Carter – transfiguration extraordinaire.

I stared smiling at my essay when McGonagall entered the room with none other than the school’s current bad boy Albus Potter.

“Ah. Ms. Carter. You’re here.” She said, her voice crisp. “I assume you remember the talk we had regarding Mr. Potter here?”

I nodded mutely looking at Albus. His raven black hair was disheveled, his face had a bored expression although his eyes told a different story. They were filled with unexplained anger.

“Well. I’ll leave you two to it.” McGonagall gave us one last look and left.

We both stood there in silence looking around the classroom. It is so damn awkward. You can literally feel the awkward in the room.

“Do you want to sit?” I asked uncomfortably, breaking the silence.

“No.” His voice was so soft that I wouldn’t have realized that he had said something if I hadn’t seen his lips move.


“No.” He said louder this time. “I don’t want to fucking sit. In fact I don’t even want to be here.”

I stared at him, unsure of what to reply.

He took my silence as a cue to continue his rant. “I don’t need your help Coral.” He said my name as if though I was some muck underneath his shoe.

“I don’t need you to tell me what my problem is or how I need to fix it, because I am perfectly capable of standing on my own two feet, thanks.” He continued, his voice getting angrier.

“Look-“ I began desperately.

“I don’t want to hear it.” He cut me off. “The whole ‘nooo. I just want to help you Albus. It’s for your own good.’” He imitated my voice.

It was a terrible impersonation, just for the record.

“I am not needy like those other idiots that come to you who can’t sort out their own fucking crap. So you know what. Just stay out of my fucking life and don’t MEDDLE WITH MY PROBLEMS.” He yelled out the last part. I could see his chest heaving up and down from underneath his school shirt, from all that anger he was feeling.

I stood there paralyzed, unable to think of a response. In all honesty, I was a little scared. Not scared of him. Scared of the fact that if I said something, I would shatter him. Or enrage him. The latter is more likely though. Instead I just stood there, staring at his face hoping it would help me figure out what he was feeling besides anger.

“I don’t need your pity.” He sneered at me. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you.” His tone was so harsh. Cruel.

I felt a sudden anger surging through.

“Fine!” I snapped at him, my anger bursting out. “Get out then!” 

“Gladly.” He spat his response at me and left the classroom, slamming the door shut.

Well, that went well.

A/N: Here's chapter two! I hope you enjoyed it :) I must give credit for the heck-lo phrase - you all know where that's from ;) (suite life of zack and cody). I couldn't resist adding it in! I want to thank all the people who reviewed and favourited my story! It means so much :) Remember to leave a review - i'll give you all virtual cookies if you do ;) 

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