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Never Too Late by ShadowRose
Chapter 1 : Never Too Late
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 11


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A/N: I don’t own anything you recognize. The song is “Never Too Late” by Three Days Grace. I couldn’t get it out of my head, so it manifested into this.

 

 






This world will never be what I expected

And if I don’t belong, who would have guessed it?




 

“You’re worthless, you know that?” The girls’ voices ring out in my head.

You think I haven’t already realized that?

“Nobody likes you.”

So I’ve learned.

“Why are you even here?”

To be honest, I don’t even know any more.

I find myself, once again, sitting on the cold stone floor of an abandoned corridor, knees pulled up to my chest as I use the back of my hand to wipe tears from my eyes.

Ever since I came to Hogwarts, I’ve been bullied. I’ve been told I’m no better than scum, about as valuable as the gum that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

But you know what? They’re right. I’m not pretty, or smart, or even sociable. Even my own father doesn’t want me around; he blames me for the death of my mum.

It was my fault, after all. She died giving birth to me. So it wasn’t like my father’s hatred wasn’t well founded. I was the reason that the love of his life was buried in the ground instead of still in his arms.

I look down at my hands, and as my robe sleeves slide up, my eyes immediately fall on the neat lines of white scars that trail up and down my arms. Every time I press the razor blade into my flesh to create another one, I revel in the short moments that, if only for a second, the pain caused by the blood flowing from my arms is greater than the dull pain of being alive.

But it’s gotten to the point where I can’t handle this anymore. The pain is only a temporary distraction; I want forever.

I know what I have to do.

 




I will not leave alone everything that I own

To make you feel like it’s not too late, it’s never too late




 

The guys burst out in raucous laughter, and I attempt to join in half-heartedly, but fail miserably. I’m just not feeling up to laughter tonight.

I saw Arianna a few hours ago, and she was looking, if it was even possible, more upset than normal. It hurts that she’s always so downtrodden.

I’ve wanted to tell her for ages – I’m in love with her. I honestly don’t know what it is. She’s beautiful, obviously, but there’s something else to her. I love just being able to talk to her, even if she doesn’t speak very much, because when she does, I can just relish the genuine personality that comes out.

And when she smiles, it’s rare, but it’s breathtaking. I just wish she’d do it more.

I know the other girls in this school aren’t the nicest to her, but I’ve never witnessed it firsthand. She refuses to talk about it; she’s too strong for that. It always amazes me that such a fragile girl can be filled with so much silent strength.

“I’m going to go for a walk,” I tell the guys, jumping out of my chair in the Gryffindor common room. I’m going to find Arianna, and talk to her. Maybe, finally, I’ll build up the courage to tell her how I feel. I’m a Gryffindor, after all. I can do this.

I step out of the portrait hole, and pull out the Marauder’s Map. After some quick searching, I find Arianna’s dot on the abandoned sixth floor corridor.

 




Even if I say it’ll be alright,

Still I hear you say you want to end your life,




 

I push myself up off the floor, hands shaking. I would go to the Room of Requirement, and end this. The room could create whatever I wanted, so surely this request wouldn’t be that difficult.

I round the corner at the edge of the corridor, and I bump into someone. They’re obviously much bigger than me, because the force almost pushes me to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” I say, before looking up at the person I just ran into.

It’s James.

Part of me really wishes I hadn’t run into him. He’s one of the few people that can actually make me feel like a good person, more than just a waste of space. Being around him, I feel almost… happy, if that’s even possible for me anymore.

The problem is, I’m starting to like him a little too much. I might actually love him. And I know there isn’t any way he could feel the same about me. Just another thing in life to remind me how inadequate I am.

“It’s fine, Arianna,” he reassures me. “But since I ran into you, I need to talk to you.”

I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t need him to try and dissuade me from what needs to be done.

“I’m sorry, James,” I find myself apologizing again. “But I just can’t do this anymore.”

With that, I maneuver around him, continuing my journey to the Room of Requirement.

 




Now and again we try to just stay alive,

Maybe we’ll turn it around, because it’s not too late

It’s never too late




 

‘I can’t do this anymore’? What did that mean? Why do girls have to speak in riddles? 

I’m tempted to follow her, but I don’t know if that will help the situation. So I walk down the staircase, hoping maybe if I give her time, I can find her again and talk to her.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I overhear a conversation between some of the Ravenclaw girls.

“I can’t believe you made her cry again, Jess!” one girl tells another.

Since when do girls sound happy about making another girl cry? Maybe these girls belong in Slytherin, not Ravenclaw.

“What can I say?” the girl replies nonchalantly. “Arianna’s a crybaby.”

They were talking about Arianna? No wonder she seemed so upset. I feel my anger bubble up. How could they treat her that way? What had she ever done to them? 

“She honestly should just kill herself,” another snickers. The girls all burst into giggles.

Just as I‘m about to storm up to the girls and curse the hair off their heads, my anger is replaced by another feeling. Sheer horror.

‘I can’t do this anymore.’ She’s going to try to kill herself. I’m pretty sure of it.

I have no clue, honestly, but it’s one of those instincts. Those gut feelings that stab at your insides with a knife until you feel sick.

I turn on my heel, and begin to sprint after her, following the dot on the Marauder’s Map as it makes its way to the Room of Requirement.

 




No one will ever see this side reflected,

And if there’s something wrong, who would have guessed it?




 

As I take each step up the staircase, I feel my heart pound in my chest. I’m walking to my own death.

Nobody knows how I really feel. Even the girls who find it entertaining to force me to tears don’t understand how badly it hurts. Their stinging words cuts deeper than any razor blade ever could.

They just echo everything I see in my father’s eyes every time he looks at me.

I walk up to the end of the corridor on the seventh floor. I know this room. It will modify itself to any use it could ever be needed for. I squish my eyes together, and concentrate.

I need a place to die.

 




And I have left alone everything that I own,

To make you feel like it’s not too late, it’s never too late




 

No, no, no. This can’t be happening.

I’m running as fast as my legs can carry me. I watch as the dot that is Arianna enters the Room of Requirement. I’m still two floors away. My legs protest as I take the steps in twos, moving up the staircases as fast as I can and praying to Merlin that none of them decide to move on me.

My breathing is short, my heart is pounding, and my stomach feels like it’s about to come out of my mouth. She can’t die, she just can’t.

I still haven’t told her I love her.

Finally, I reach the room, skidding to a stop. I focus my mind on one thing.

I need a way to save her life.

 




Even if I say it’ll be alright,

Still I hear you say you want to end your life,




 

The door appears in front of me, and I yank it open as fast as I can.

Standing just inside the door is Arianna with a vial in her hand, that I instantly recognize as one of the poisons we learned about in Potions last week. Her eyes are pressed closed, as if she’s trying to gather up her courage.

She takes a breath in, what she thinks is her last.

My mind is racing, unable to comprehend the situation. I have to stop her in any way I can. 

So I point my wand at the vial, shouting, “REDUCTO!”

The bottle explodes, and the poison falls to the floor, sizzling as it makes contact with the stone.

She gasps, looking over at me.

“Arianna, don’t do this,” I beg, trying to help her see reason.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Her voice isn’t accusatory, just curious. It hurts to know she wants death so badly.

She has to know. I take a deep breath. “Because I love you.”

 




Now and again we try to just stay alive,

Maybe we’ll turn it around, because it’s not too late

It’s never too late




 

“Because I love you,” he says.

If it weren’t for the blood pounding in my ears, intensifying my hearing, I would have thought I’d imagined it.

“You… what?” I ask. Maybe I did hear wrong.

He takes a step closer to me. “I love you, Arianna.”

 




The world we knew won’t come back,

The time we’ve lost can’t get back,

The life we had won’t be ours again




 

“No, you don’t,” she replies, as if trying to convince me. “You couldn’t love me.” Did she not realize how amazing she was? How deserving and worthy she was of love?

“Yes, I do.” I step closer to her again, so that we are only inches apart. “I don’t care what those girls say, you’re worth way more than that.”

She shakes her head, and I watch as her shiny brunette curls move with her. “It’s not just them,” she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I don’t care who it is.” My voice is strong, in sharp contrast to hers. “They’re not important. You’re the most beautiful and amazing girl I’ve ever met, and you shouldn’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

 




This world will never be what I expected

And if I don’t belong




 

“But they do,” I reply quietly. “All the time. Even my own father.”

I just admitted something to him that I had told no one before. Maybe it’s because my brain is overwhelmed with the fact that James has this deluded idea that he loves me. I’m not worthy of love.

“Look,” he says, stroking me hair, “it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Because if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to show you that you are worth the world.”

I look away doubtfully, but he places his finger under my chin, forcing me to look up into his gorgeous hazel eyes.

“Just, don’t do this.” He gestures to the poison still on the floor, surrounded by shards of broken glass. “You have so much to live for.” 

I finally voice my doubts. “Why are you just telling me this now? Since when was I actually important to you?”

 




Even if I say it’ll be alright,

Still I hear you say you want to end your life,




 

“I realized I loved you ages ago, but I couldn’t strike up the courage to do it,” he explains, boring a hole in me with his eyes, which are looking at me with extreme intensity. So does he actually… love me? “And you are very, very important. You need to understand that.”

“Really?” I whisper again, wrapping my arms around my body. I still don’t believe that he could actually feel that way about me. I’m nothing special. Honestly, I’m nothing at all.

“Really.” He wraps his arms around me and places a kiss in my hair.

This feels secure, almost like I can forget everything. Instead of replacing pain with a greater pain, this feels like it can wipe out that hurt altogether. Maybe, for now, this could be okay.

I look up into his eyes. “I love you too,” I tell him, confessing something I was afraid to even admit to myself.

Then he leans down and kisses me.

 




Now and again we try to just stay alive,

Maybe we’ll turn it around, because it’s not too late

It’s never too late




 

Kissing her feels amazing. Her lips are soft and gentle, and fit in perfect harmony with mine.

The kiss is slow and sweet, but I try my hardest to convey to her my promise.

I’m going to give you something worth living for.






Maybe we’ll turn it around, because it’s not too late

It’s never too late




 

 

A/N: Oh gosh. I don't really like how this turned out, but I'm posting it nonetheless.

Writing intense situations is hard, okay? *goes off into a corner* 

Regardless, please review! Even if it is to say how poorly written this was.


 




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